The GFE phenomenon

[buggernot 588]

I recall reading a post a few weeks back saying that the "GFE" style of escorting is a relatively new incarnation. My own personal experience with sp's have only come in the last year, so I have no previous frame of reference to the way things may have been 'back in the day'.

 

You see it often in older movies and tv where any character that is a sex worker talks about "never kiss the client", although that was probably just used as dramatic effect (i.e. Pretty Woman). But are the services offered today beyond what was common 10, 20, 30 years ago?

 

I'm wondering to see if this is a trend similar to what happened in the stripping industry when physical contact became the norm. Before, the girls could just dance if they wanted to. Then things changed where if they didn't let every guy with a $20 bill grope them, they ran the risk of losing their livelihood. And of course some girls did not like this as they did not want their personal space invaded.

 

Has GFE had the same effect with escorting?

[I***S S*****S 100]

Has GFE had the same effect with escorting?

i can only wright about my experience , but i have to say YES is a new norm. But i know some girls dont provide a complete gfe like with a cbj. I read in lots of board, cbj if is well done can be fantastique and the " friends " can forget sometimes about this cbj instead of bbbj.

 

but i know for fact 2 things is really primordial in the GFE service and is DATY and the most important part Kissing :D

 

just my opinions.

 

West

[Ariane Valmont 332]

buggernot, I can't tell you how things were 10-20 years ago since I have been in and out of the sex trade only for two years and a half.

 

One thing I can tell you though is that some of us are definitely GFE by choice and not by obligation.

 

When I meet a client, I want to enjoy myself too. Kissing, oral, etc, it is all part of what good sex is, isn't it?

 

As a courtesan, I want to feel just as much as my partner that I am on a date, not a business transaction. Yes, there is money involved but once that is taken care of at the beginning of the rendezvous, what I am looking for is to connect with my partner and make sure we simply go with the flow. When that's your goal, GFE just seems natural.

[A***** A***** 510]

GFE on my part, is given to a chosen few ;) As they say, YMMV!

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

When I meet a client, I want to enjoy myself too. Kissing, oral, etc, it is all part of what good sex is, isn't it?

 

As a courtesan, I want to feel just as much as my partner that I am on a date, not a business transaction. Yes, there is money involved but once that is taken care of at the beginning of the rendezvous, what I am looking for is to connect with my partner and make sure we simply go with the flow. When that's your goal, GFE just seems natural.

 

The same for me! I'm completely happy being the client's girlfriend when we're together. He gets my undivided attention and complete dedication. I always tell a client that there are really only two rules: whatever we do has to be safe, and it has to be fun. If it's not fun, we should change it until we find something that is. That, along with lots of kissing, cuddling and whispered endearments seems to work!

[etasman2000 15994]

Has GFE had the same effect with escorting?

 

Its all about respecting boundaries.

 

I had 2 SPs who would turn their head if you tried to kiss them. I kissed their necks. *shrug*

 

Did I enjoy myself ? Sure.

 

Once I knew their boundaries I just didn't go there and tried other things instead.

 

GFE isn't about ticking off a checklist. It is about enjoying each others company.

 

Plus each GF is different in herself. Enjoy the difference and you may be surprise.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

buggernot, I have been hobbying myself for only a year and a half and even during this short period things have changed drastically in GFE's favor :D (Thank God).

 

Clients are demanding for GFE, is one reason as the rule of supply and demand works here too.

 

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=6220&highlight=sexual

 

But possibly more importantly, it has been scientifically proven that kissing (LFK, even DFK) and even Daty is relatively safe sexual act (there has been not a single reported case of HIV transmission via DFK or Daty, however, a few cases via BBBJ). It is even hard (but not impossible) to catch herpes or other STDs through kissing and daty (contrary to what was believed before as apparently open sores have to exist on both sides for the herpes virsus to get under the skin).

 

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/epiu-aepi/epi_update_may_04/13-eng.php

[buggernot 588]

Just to be clear, I don't need any convincing ;) My two favourite things are kissing and daty because, without a bit of passion or reciprocation, it's just not as enjoyable. I want who I'm with to have a good time also.

 

But there are girls out there that won't cross that line for personal reasons, and maybe there's a few that will provide it only because that is what seems to be the industry norm and by not doing so, they will not get as much business.

 

Nope, definitely not a bad thing as far as I'm concerned...but have things changed over the years?

[Capital Hunter 18263]

...but have things changed over the years?

 

Yes it has. That is what most of the posts above are saying.

 

I did a few months of hobbying in 1999 in Montreal, soon after I graduated and just before moving to Ottawa and it was relatively difficult to find a girl (especially classy good looking spinners) who would do kissing and daty (never inquired about BBBJ). Almost none of the 15 or so girls that I had over those few months (in 1999) did kissing on the mouth (something that has become almost a norm nowadays again thank God).

 

Even a year and a half ago, when I (re) started hobbying, I was told on a few occasions that the girls were GFEs but found out otherwise upon their arrival. But fortunately things have changed for better recently (much better). Over the past couple of months I have met a few beautiful classy spinners who were also true GFEs in body and soul.

[buggernot 588]

Yes it has. That is what most of the posts above are saying.

 

Not to be contradictory but no, that's not the case...

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Not to be contradictory but no, that's not the case...

 

Not to be contradictory but ......

 

i can only wright about my experience ' date=' but i have to say YES is a new norm. [/quote']

 

buggernot, I have been hobbying myself for only a year and a half and even during this short period things have changed drastically in GFE's favor :D (Thank God).

 

I did a few months of hobbying in 1999 in Montreal, soon after I graduated and just before moving to Ottawa and it was relatively difficult to find a girl (especially classy good looking spinners) who would do kissing and daty.

 

Almost none of the 15 or so girls that I had over those few months (in 1999) did kissing on the mouth (something that has become almost a norm nowadays again thank God).

 

Over the past couple of months I have met a few beautiful classy spinners who were also true GFEs in body and soul.

 

In addition both Ariane and samantha who are recent SPs have indicated that they are GFEs.

 

I think with all above it is safe to assume that GFE is a new norm, though more input by other members is certainly welcomed.

[rickoshadows 937]

I've been hobbying on and off since the seventies. Only in North America and Australia did I ever run into the no kissing rule, and that has been for a minority of experiences. Around the rest of the world kissing always was offered.

[Ariane Valmont 332]

In addition both Ariane and samantha who are recent SPs have indicated that they are GFEs.

 

I think with all above it is safe to assume that GFE is a new norm, though more input by other members is certainly welcomed.

 

I am indeed relatively new. But what I meant (and maybe I wasn't clear - sorry for the limited English!) is that I am not GFE to obey any sort of "norm" and I never was.

 

When I started working as an escort, I had never been in contact with the business, never knew anyone in the sex trade. All I had was my common sense, my own goals (which was to have fun + make money) and a vague idea of how things worked because of what I had read on the Internet.

 

So I didn't know if you were supposed to be GFE or not. I don't think I even know what GFE was at that point! Which means I didn't feel any pressure to offer a specific kind of services. I just did what seemed right according to me.

[JoyfulC 132299]

It's always been a YMMV situation, as long as I've been in the business. The term, GFE, is relatively new though.

 

Even today, I still have friends who are very clinical about everything. It's a comfort level thing. I think that all SPs will be GFE with some clients, and some will be GFE with many, but few will be GFE with all.

 

There are guys, too, who make it clear that they're not into the GFE experience. C'est le guerre, I guess!

 

..c..

[kih 458]

Back in the 90's -- The ladies I frequented offered services what I would describe as "Full Service" (CBJ and multiple positions). Significant Bait and Switch was common place as much emphasis was placed on newspaper classified and the particular persons honesty with respect to their physical description.

 

DATY and BBBJ was taboo and not on the menu. Some ladies allowed LFK and others DFK depending on the lady.

 

As far as donations -- If my memory serves me right; a typical full service encounter spanning an hour was running at about 120 - 140 roses. Half hour donations were about 80 - 120 roses.

[spud271 47779]

I had very similar experiences in 90's as well kih. Most SP's I had met in Canada were very limited in the services they offered and in general not really into it. However, Montreal has always been the exception. Both Ottawa and Toronto in those days did not have the best scene at all. I wasn't in Canada much in those days, but the ladies I did meet her were not as good as what was available overseas. Now as I say that was then and this is now. It's more the exception to the rule "not" to meet and SP that offers GFE services, and those that don't usually don't last anymore.

 

 

Back in the 90's -- The ladies I frequented offered services what I would describe as "Full Service" (CBJ and multiple positions). Significant Bait and Switch was common place as much emphasis was placed on newspaper classified and the particular persons honesty with respect to their physical description.

 

DATY and BBBJ was taboo and not on the menu. Some ladies allowed LFK and others DFK depending on the lady.

 

As far as donations -- If my memory serves me right; a typical full service encounter spanning an hour was running at about 120 - 140 roses. Half hour donations were about 80 - 120 roses.

[YoungStud 468]

I agree. Though there were some GFE and PSE exceptions in Toronto in the 80's. But I don't think we used those 3-letter terms for them then. "Really freakin' amazing" and "you wouldn't believe what she did!", I think, were how we described GFE and PSE in those days. Lol.

 

I had very similar experiences in 90's as well kih. Most SP's I had met in Canada were very limited in the services they offered and in general not really into it. However, Montreal has always been the exception. Both Ottawa and Toronto in those days did not have the best scene at all. I wasn't in Canada much in those days, but the ladies I did meet her were not as good as what was available overseas. Now as I say that was then and this is now. It's more the exception to the rule "not" to meet and SP that offers GFE services, and those that don't usually don't last anymore.

[E.D. man 691]

What impresses me the most is when an sp lets me take her to the promisen land. I enjoy pleasurin the woman, more than satisfying myself.

But alot of sp's will stop u from getting them there.

I enjoy the sweet taste of pussy as well as a goodlong soft kiss with the ambiance of a good dfk afterwards.

I don't care if u give me a Bj. But if you cum in my mouth I will give a big tip.

A deep kiss does it more for me.:smile:;-):twisted:

[thetiminator 100]

I only started recently, so I can't vouch for the past. I would have expected some more lovey-dovey intimacy since forever. But I guess some people, all they need is the quick 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am,' and are content with that. I need more of the connection to be happy. GFE is really just what I would have expected to be the norm.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I actually started out as a companion more than 20 years ago, here in Vancouver. I never worked with an agency or a massage parlor. I'd say that I was more of a "kept woman" or "mistress" than anything else. I had a few steady, regular clients, some for a few months, a couple for almost three years. When two of them brought things to an end, they also referred someone else to me to take their place.

 

I would say that I've always been a "girlfriend" type. I never followed anyone else's rules. I kept as up to date as possible about STDs and birth control, and each of the men knew that they weren't the only one I saw. Everyone was terrified of AIDS and so getting the men to agree to use condoms was not difficult.

 

I always did a lot of hugging, kissing, caressing, cuddling and the like. I also gave bareback blowjobs, but not to CIM.

 

I retired, got married, and so on. When my marriage ended, I started to date (non-commercially) and so got as up to date as I could about STDs. I haven't had unprotected sex with anyone, nor have I given a BBBJ to anyone, since I was married. I again entered mistress-type arrangements and those have largely kept me going for the last few years. Recently, however, with changes in some of my clients' lives, I've begun to seek new clients. My safe sex practices haven't changed, nor will they.

 

I still do lots of hugging, kissing, caressing and cuddling. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't. If a client doesn't want that, that's his choice. Mostly, though, such men don't tend to return to me for more. Maybe, without the "girlfriend" type interaction there's not enough "spark" to keep things lively and interesting? I'm not sure, but I'm also not worried about it.

 

It seems that many of these discussions about what a "real" GFE is focus on whether the escort offers covered oral sex or not. When asked about it, I just point out that chlamydia, warts, herpes, Hepatitis B, gonnorhea and syphilis can all live quite happily in the human throat, undetected for months or more. Some say the risk of transmitting any of these is negligible. For me, even if it's only 1/200, well... if I were in a room with 200 other people, one of whom was trying to fire a gun with only one bullet, I wouldn't risk staying there!

 

I'll be the best girlfriend a client has ever had, and I'll do it safely. People who compromise on safety are engaging in "husband and wife" sex. :wink:

[spud271 47779]

HAHAHA That's about right actually. I don't think we ever used the terms GFE or PSE in those days. It was mostly "you won't believe what she did!". I think that was as close as we ever got to PSE in those days.

 

I agree. Though there were some GFE and PSE exceptions in Toronto in the 80's. But I don't think we used those 3-letter terms for them then. "Really freakin' amazing" and "you wouldn't believe what she did!", I think, were how we described GFE and PSE in those days. Lol.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I guess when i started i was a gfe i really had no idea i was...lol

i just did what came natural to me....and still to this day i do.

 

kisses,

Emma A

[buggernot 588]

It seems that many of these discussions about what a "real" GFE is focus on whether the escort offers covered oral sex or not.

 

I think for some that is the case, but the intimacy of kissing may be a bigger factor in putting that "GFE certified" logo on there. Certainly is for me...

[antlerman 17064]

I guess when i started i was a gfe i really had no idea i was...lol

i just did what came natural to me....and still to this day i do.

 

kisses,

Emma A

 

there is a good little joke in there somewhere.......

[Seymour 3970]

The GFE and PSE phenomena are due to evolution. Go back in time to a point where there was no forum to discuss this topic, when services were 'restricted' to the act and no other form of intimacy. People didn't know better and accepted what by today's standard would be called a 'mechanical' session.

 

Today, based on education and awareness, we have clients that will push the envelope and providers who will accommodate most requests. With the internet there is still opportunity for deception, but back to education and awareness, I think folks know where to look for quality.