Discretion,it goes both way

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I though i would bring this subject as it seem that new pooners and more experience pooners forget that it apply for both parties.

More than often i have gent been very hesitant to provide the info i request and ask me to be discrete..No to contact them without their permission,etc..

It doesn't mean because we are escorts that we don't have private life..

 

It is not appropriate to approach a lady in public..Even if you have met her in the past..You shouldn't..

To call her escort name out loud..She may be with friends,or family.It is an invasion to our private life..I am sure that if a lady would approach you on the street meanwhile your SO is next to you ..You would be extremly angry.

 

Also it happen more than often that a gent that inquire to see and provide me a reference of a lady gave me her real name..If the lady decide to share with you it doesn't mean she want the entire world to know..Otherwise she would be working with that name.It happened also that i had gent gave me private number of ladies..If her number isn't publish it is that she doesn't want to unknown people to have it.

To approach a lady that you have an app later or you recognize her, at the bar of the hotel

Those are big no no

It also apply to ladies..i had a lady giving my personal number to a client i don't know without my consent.

 

Remember if you expect discretion,you should also be discret yourself and respect our privacy

 

Thanks

Victoria Jolie

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Do some people have rocks in their heads? To approach someone while with their family whether it's an SP or a client? Seriously? If this were me, smoke would be coming out of my ears, I would be furious. When you stupidly approach an SP like this, you don't know how they will respond to you whether it's through words or actions. Good or bad. And I'm thinking it won't be a very good scene.

 

Please respect a person's privacy if they are SP or client. Imagine an SP coming up to you with your wife present saying how they had a good time in the sack with you last week. I think the divorce lawyer would be ready to be programmed onto the wife's speed dial.

 

I'm still shaking my head.

[roamingguy 300292]

Always show discretion. For me, I'm not ashamed of the ladies I see and most time have no problems (within the confines of an encounter) being seen in public with them (ie going out to dinner) There are certain cities that's just not possible, I might run into family or friends of family. By the same token, and in the case of one lady, part of our encounter was dinner out. So I asked and she agreed that making our date ,instead of her home city was more appropriate in another city, just so she wouldn't risk a chance run into someone she knows.

But I would not want to be outed because of a accidental run in with a companion, even if the outing was unintentional. Yes I'm single unattached, but I may be with family members, some who may understand, but one or two who are judgmental.

Boils down to common sense and common courtesy. If you walk by a lady in public you have seen maybe a subtle nod or wink only she'd notice, and the same by the lady to the gentleman. Or if not possible, maybe next time you are on CERB, a pm saying hi, and you weren't being rude

Finally privacy is sacrosanct. The ladies as part of verification require you to provide personal information to them. Which they protect, they don't, at least so far, in my experience, blab your name around. Ladies deserve the same respect of their privacy. And as a footnote to privacy, it may be talked about loosely as a concept here, but where I work (federal government), and in many other organizations, breaches of privacy are considered very serious, resulting in suspensions and up to a loss of your job. There is no official professional code of conduct for this lifestyle, and gentlemen and ladies alike need to remember how important and sacred a trust privacy is, and that includes discretion, if that makes sense

RG

[billybob 20128]

Also it happen more than often that a gent that inquire to see and provide me a reference of a lady gave me her real name..If the lady decide to share with you it doesn't mean she want the entire world to know..Otherwise she would be working with that name.It happened also that i had gent gave me private number of ladies..If her number isn't publish it is that she doesn't want to unknown people to have it.

 

 

I'm really surprised that some SP's are not only giving out their real names but also giving out their private numbers.

 

I agree though, discretion is a 2 way street.

[roamingguy 300292]

I have received on three different occasions a lady's real name

Two of the ladies gave it to me actually for very valid reasons.

One, honestly I don't know why she gave me her real name. It served no real purpose, except maybe she thought that was being nice...don't know

And no, I'm not naming the ladies, not by their provider name or real name.

But there are some cases where there may exist valid reasons for a lady to provide her real name. But the gentleman does not repeat that name to anyone for any reason, it is private between the lady and gentleman

RG

[backrubman 64800]

I'm really surprised that some SP's are not only giving out their real names but also giving out their private numbers...

 

...

Two of the ladies gave it to me actually for very valid reasons.

 

Sometimes it is necessary for a variety of reasons, but I urge anyone that can't take a lady's secrets to their grave to not take possession of such information, it is one of the most sacred forms of trust ever bestowed.

 

I also want to mention (to the benefit of anyone that might not realize it) that this kind of private and confidential information should never be exchanged or stored on CERB (like with use of the PM system). We've seen many web sites run by large companies compromised (Sony, LinkedIn, Yahoo, the list is quite long): Imagine if you will the contents of every PM on CERB (between everyone) out there in the wild and use the PM system like that will someday happen as it could.

 

Even in PMs I refer to the lady by her CERB handle and always sign my messages as BackRubMan even to ladies that "know" my real name.

[Boomer 33202]

I have on occasion been trusted with personal information by a few ladies, and simply because we have become friends and this trust extends in both direction. They trust my judgement, and realize that I would not compromise them, or embarrass them should we meet in public.

 

I'm not sure I would agree with some of the rigid pronunciations in this thread, e.g. sacred trust. I do believe in the duty to protect anonymity, but this is a people business, and sometimes individuals make choices on occasion which are exceptions to the generally accepted rules.

 

I think the last comment shows a bit of paranoia, in that I believe the PM system is a secure way to communicate. Probably the only person that has total access to see them might be Mod with system administrator rights, and I for one don't think he would abuse that responsibility, unless there is real criminal content. We're pretty small fish and I don't see anyone hacking my PMs, they really are pretty boring and really there's no incentive to waste time on them.

[roamingguy 300292]

And privacy is a sacred trust. May sound like a rigid pronunciation to some but most on here both ladies and gentlemen have lives outside this lifestyle. Should it ever be disclosed because of a cavalier attitude towards privacy (either accidentally or intentionally) it could have devastating consequences, such as marriages breaking up, maybe loss of career (some jobs may have morals clauses), estrangement from family and those are just a few I can think of off the top of my head.

And I say this as someone who is single, unattached, and pretty much if I was outed would suffer compared to most, little if any harm.

RG

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I'm surprise that some here think that those things don't happen..:frown:

 

I post it, as i withness it and leave part of it...

I also post it as i have seen treads on "other boards" asking other pooners if he should approach a lady he has recognize..

 

Worse i have seen a post where the gent assume that his room neighbour was an escort and though about calling the room or knock at the door.

Like you could knock at a door where a party happen and invite yourself because you heard some noise.:icon_rolleyes:

 

-I had a gent..ex client that became a mod and as a joke posted my name on the board

 

-I had clients been paranoid about providing me some infos..Heck!They actually never met me and i end up having their wifes harassing me because they neglected to delete the infos in the computer at home or because my phone number showed up on their bill(it had then a nyc number)

 

All this should be common sence but unfortunatly it isn't and sadly by my own experience it has been experience pooners that has done those things.

VJ

[Athos 108589]

I believe it happens ... But I find it incomprehensible how people could be so incredibly insensitive and so amazingly stupid!!

 

Porthos

[EmilyRushton 253372]

Last year when I was getting on a flight in Winnipeg (as in I was at the gate showing ID and my ticket) and some real winner screams out "Hey Emily". Lets just say I did not look till I was on the walkway to the plane. Lets just say the email he received from me was not very nice.

 

I have seen numerous gentlemen I have met at airports (as I spend most of my time there) and I can say that I may smile like to do to anyone else passing by, but would never approach them - EVER.

 

Discretion is a 2 way street

[backrubman 64800]

Last year when I was getting on a flight in Winnipeg (as in I was at the gate showing ID and my ticket) and some real winner screams out "Hey Emily". Lets just say I did not look till I was on the walkway to the plane. Lets just say the email he received from me was not very nice.

 

I have seen numerous gentlemen I have met at airports (as I spend most of my time there) and I can say that I may smile like to do to anyone else passing by, but would never approach them - EVER.

 

Discretion is a 2 way street

 

I agree completely. I have spotted you at Lester B. Pearson (YYZ) not once but twice, did you see me? Somehow I doubt it (OK, once I'm pretty sure you might have) but I just carried on to my gate, wasn't getting on the same flight as you. If you did see me then you know I just passed on by like anyone else. Even if I ended up on the same flight and the next seat you you, it's "small talk" like you are a complete stranger.

 

If I want to talk to Emily (as Emily) in person, I'll book an appointment with you and speak to you in private and then of course I have your undivided attention and then some :)

 

In some ways I think this is a little like the "Gentle Reminder" thread. Anyone that read this already knows how to behave and those that don't won't be reading this. Sigh....

[rileydaniels 1901]

You could also if you see the lady in public, don't message her on twitter or send her a phone call or text message saying where you saw her.

[DwayneR 2105]

I once saw a provider I knew in a public location. She was by herself and about 20 feet away. I did not notice her at first until she looked at me. I'll never forget it.

It was like the deer caught in the head lights look. This what caught my attention. Other wise I might have walked right by with out even noticing her.

I did smile, but I smile at everyone. No one caught on. I turned away and that was it. Never thought of texting her or phoning her or even talking to her about it. Even when I saw her next. That look, was all I needed to know what to do.