dating an sp

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I have a question for you... what do you think the percentage of men are that actually look for a girlfriend who is an Sp? I'm not talking a gfe i'm talking a real girlfriend. I have become aware that there are some guys that actually do this. I just never thought about it before...its a bit confusing.

kisses,

Emma A

[Alexa Cummings 878]

Is it like where they know what you do and are fine with it or like to go find girls who are in the business? Like men who have a thing for strippers? I know from experience Emma that some men say oh I am fine and others well they have a BIG problem...Due to the whole...my girl and ony my girl type of thing...So Ive had both good and bad issues on that one...But percentage...I think that the person has to understand what we do...and be accepting all the way...Its hard to put a number on it because I havent really been with too many in a relationship due to the fact that they might have an issue...A lot of men have said to me we dont want u to do this but we have np you being around like answering phones etc...but not actualyl doing the deed urself...But yeah it is kind of confusing lol..

[buggernot 588]

Well if you're talking about guys who specifically seek out SP's to date, the pct is likely pretty low. First you'll have to subtract all the men who have SO's and that might be anywhere from 30-60% of clients? Then there's the single clients who are just looking for some temporary 'relief'. Some of them would not be interested at all, and then there's a few who think they could date a girl working in the sex industry, but when push comes to shove, their insecurities and personal beliefs will eventually bring things to an end.

 

It would really have to be a guy who either gets off on knowing his gf is having sex with other guys or, has one of those true bonds with her where there is complete trust and understanding. And the latter part wouldn't really apply here because that only comes after you get to know someone.

 

Personally, I could date a girl who is/was an sp and not have issue with that. However, if that love emotion started to come about...I don't know, really tough to say.

 

There may be some guys out there that hope they can meet someone by seeing SP's, since it's a really simple way of cutting out the traditional meeting rigours...but going out of their way to do it in that manner? 1 or 2%, if that?

[olderguy69 100]

I was dating an sp for the longest time but she moved to vancouver. I am an older guy and she was younger but we got along great...sure do miss her. I would date another anytime!...You can't be the jealous type or it won't work!

[spud271 47779]

Well Emma, as someone who dated an SP for 2 years, I think I have a bit of experience on this topic. I personally never went looking to date an SP, it just kind of happend. That is probably why things worked out well for us over that time period. I believe if a hobbyiest is going out of his way to find an SP to be his girlfriend, then it will never work. I'm a frim believer that relationship just happen, not to rain on anyone's parade, but I just don't get the idea of seeing an SP in the hopes of finding a girlfriend. The only reason my relationship ended was not because of jealousy, from what I understand that is the most common reason SP's relationships end, but my family back home were just taking up all of my free time. She is Montreal and myself being in Ottawa, it just became too difficult to continue. If the spark is there, you'll know, otherwise don't spend hours rubbing two sticks together to start the fire!

[Seymour 3970]

The numbers are likely very small. It takes a special person to stay at home every night, knowing your partner or soul mate is in the arms of many other men or women, doing very intimate things. It is easier said than done. It does put the strongest of bonds to the test.

 

By the same token, it takes a special person to offer very intimate companionship with total strangers. After all, it is the intimacy and experience of initial visits which drives repeat visits. Ladies, you are all truly special.!

[olderguy69 100]

I dated one for a couple of years we just met by accident. She was on a dating site and was from town here. We had a good relationship. I helped her get her car started a few times last winter so she could keep her appointments. I even lent her my truck once as her beater had died...you can't be the jealous type. I was older than her but it worked out for us. We never told my friends what she did and they never found out. That is how we wanted it, she worked out of town so that was a good move. She relocated to vancouver as she had family there, as far as I know she is still in the bussiness . I would date another like her anytime.....

[Carrie Moon 68826]

The numbers are likely very small. It takes a special person to stay at home every night, knowing your partner or soul mate is in the arms of many other men or women, doing very intimate things. It is easier said than done. It does put the strongest of bonds to the test.

 

By the same token, it takes a special person to offer very intimate companionship with total strangers. After all, it is the intimacy and experience of initial visits which drives repeat visits. Ladies, you are all truly special.!

I've had it happen a few times that a guy will seek me out.. (not by appt as a hobbyist) to say he's dated an escort/stripper/porn actress before and would be not only okay with dating me but like it. It's been probably a handful of times in the last 6 years or so of online.. but a few times as well in previous years by phone. So rare.. but not unrealistic. As for clients wanting to date or me wanting to date them? it's happened quite a few times. Obviously they have to be okay with the job and I know a few escorts who are in long-term relationships &/or married who do just fine. The intimacy however.. is completely different with a relationship. They see you during good times and bad.. that's the real GFE:boobies:

[Capital Hunter 18263]

It depends on the definition of SP which may cover a few professions.

 

I have dated nude dancers (they are service providers too) and have not one but two of them as my girlfriends for a few months (first) and a year (second) but did not go further (marriage). Turn down a few clear requests of being my GF (one as recent as last year). I think the percentage of men seeking nude dancers for dating or as GF would be relatively high. If you mean dating SPs as escorts or masseurs, the thought never crossed my mind and I think the percentage of men seeking escorts for dating or as GF is very low even may be non-existence. It may be a different answer or percentage if the lady stop escorting and the gent stop hobbying after they start dating but this is just my guess.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

My clients are nearly all married and not looking for a committed relationship with another woman, so being with me is ideal for them. But I have one client who I think would like me to be his real-life girlfriend. I tend to steer the conversation in other directions whenever it moves into that subject area because I'm not interested in him as a genuine romantic partner. He says that he's known a lot of escorts in his life and at one time lived among some of them in another city. He's also been an active swinger. He says that he likes sexually uninhibited women--women who are confident about what they have to offer. I also think it's titillating for him to think that a woman he's close to has sex with a lot of different men, and has been doing it for awhile.

 

He sometimes asks me about the men I'm with, or have been with; my refusal to talk about them in any but the most general terms possible seems to intrigue him. I think he enjoys knowing that I have a "secret life" that no one knows about. He seems to feel privileged in some way because he does know something about what I'm doing.

 

I think that, if I were interested in being more deeply involved with him, he'd be very encouraging and supportive of me continuing to be a paid companion because he finds it arousing.

 

I wonder whether the very small percentage of men who might actively seek out SPs to date like the fact that they can be on intimate terms with us more easily than they think they can with women who are not escorts. After all, they don't need to invest much time or energy in us as people in the hope that they can get us into bed with them. Our companionship and the sex that goes along with it doesn't require a deep level of compatibility, shared values, or mutual interests, yet they can have an automatic girlfriend just by making an appointment, paying the fee and showing up. Maybe it's a way to cut to the chase, so to speak, if a guy's highest priority in a relationship with a woman is sexual compatibility?

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

The few clients {very very few} i have dated in the past we kind of went backwards. In order to date me they actually had to start from the beginning ...as if it were a new relationship. In a way it would be a new relationship meaning that they may have known me as Emma Alexandra but now they had to know me as me. I wouldn't have sex with them right away they had to build on the "real" relationship first. Prove to me they liked me for me and not just for sex.

 

I have always tried to avoid the dating scene with clients and in the past few years with anyone. I was always afraid of guys wanted to date me for the wrong reasons. Besides having a couple of bfe a day sure helped....lol

kisses,

Emma

[spud271 47779]

It's never easy Emma, I know my ex-gf and I had some rough patches over the 2 years...but it was worth it to have had that happiness in my life. She was an amazingly strong woman and I am thankful to have spent the time I did with her.

 

 

The few clients {very very few} have dated in the past we kind of went backwards. In order to date me they actually had to start from the beginning ...as if it were a new relationship. In a way it would be a new relationship meaning that they may have known me as Emma Alexandra but now they had to know me as me. I wouldn't have sex with them right away they had to build on the "real" relationship first. Prove to me they liked me for me and not just for sex.

 

I have always tried to avoid the dating scene with clients and in the past few years with anyone. I was always afraid of guys wanted to date me for the wrong reasons. Besides having a couple of bfe a day sure helped....lol

kisses,

Emma

[etasman2000 15994]

Besides having a couple of bfe a day sure helped....lol

 

*ahem*monkeyrocker*ahem*

[etasman2000 15994]

By the same token, it takes a special person to offer very intimate companionship with total strangers. After all, it is the intimacy and experience of initial visits which drives repeat visits. Ladies, you are all truly special.!

 

Agreed. I also found the ladies to be very open and non judgemental.

[Ariane Valmont 332]

I personally would not trust someone who is specifically looking to date an SP.

 

First, it seems weird to me to pick someone mainly because of their work, whatever that work may be. Second, dating an SP can be quite difficult (obviously, it's not easy to share the woman you love) so I can't really understand why someone would be looking on purpose to go through that.

 

Now, if you fall in love with an SP by coincidence, that is a whole other story.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I personally would not trust someone who is specifically looking to date an SP.

 

First, it seems weird to me to pick someone mainly because of their work, whatever that work may be. Second, dating an SP can be quite difficult (obviously, it's not easy to share the woman you love) so I can't really understand why someone would be looking on purpose to go through that.

 

Now, if you fall in love with an SP by coincidence, that is a whole other story.

 

Falling in love is truly a whole other story and it happens...:grin:

[etasman2000 15994]

First, it seems weird to me to pick someone mainly because of their work, whatever that work may be.

 

It is a fetish no different then looking to date someone in uniform.

 

I have never dated an SP, however after hang out on this forum I would not be opposed to it. SP come from all strata of society no different then on a dating site or 'out there'. There is a self selection, for sure, which makes some part of a relationship far easier and complicates others.

 

Although I am not specifically looking, if it happens it happens.

[JoyfulC 132299]

With respect to guys seeking out SPs, the ones that always creep me out are the ones who tell me that "if anything should ever happen to your husband..." EEEEEEKKKK! How in the f*ck am I supposed to take that?

 

When I was single, there were a few guys who seemed to seek out SPs, but I often found that they embraced the stigma more so than the average person, and that caused problems since my life never did well at mirroring the stigma. They were looking for something in me that just isn't there. And luckily, that was usually obvious before it ever went anywhere.

 

As for customers wanting to date, most of mine simply wouldn't be able to! The reason they choose a professional solution is because they don't have the freedom to go out and date. (I can't really think of any of my regulars who couldn't find action without paying for it, if they had the time and freedom to do so.)

 

Last week, some guy contacted me through the live-support feature on my web site. Right from the start, he didn't come across like a customer. He insisted that he gave a great massage, was good looking, fun to be with -- usually customers want to know if **I** offer this. Then he emailed me his pic. When none of this worked, he finally admitted that he'd seen a good friend of mine, and afterwards, she'd asked him out. (His claim -- she might tell a different story.) I explained that she and I are both SPs and we're friends, but that's where the similarity ends. She's single, socially active and extremely gregarious. I'm happily married, bookish and practically a recluse in my private life.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with a guy trying, though. And I can see why a guy would want an SP for a partner. While some might get all hung up on insecurities, others might place a high value on a woman who knows her womanhood and understands manhood well enough to be a pro, and also a woman who has the confidence and independent streak needed to work in this business.

 

And I have seen many happy relationships that SPs have had with men they met outside the business, and even some with men they met as customers.

 

True love can and does happen just about anywhere.

 

..c..

[Ariane Valmont 332]

emma, I am sure it does happen. I think you can find love (or love can find you) in any situation, at any time of your life. That's the beauty of it!

 

etasman, well, I can understand if it is a fantasy. But dating is not just about sex, there is an emotional aspect to it. To me, it seems wrong to be interested in someone because of what they do rather than who they are as a person.

 

But hey, I am a romantic so... ;)

[etasman2000 15994]

etasman, well, I can understand if it is a fantasy. But dating is not just about sex, there is an emotional aspect to it. To me, it seems wrong to be interested in someone because of what they do rather than who they are as a person.

 

i would be the first to agree with you on the emotional aspect.

 

the initial attractor though is (always?) a fantasy. isn't that what it is to start with ? even outside this forum, when you first met someone its really your beliefs and values that frame how you view the individual.

 

if your belief is an SP is someone understanding and caring then you would seek out SPs if you are looking for someone understanding and caring. if you value good physical sex then that is what you seek out for assuming an SP would provide good physical sex.

 

ultimately it might not be who the actual person is at all. that knowledge comes later through constant interactions and dialog.

 

the dilemma would be if there is a fixation to just the fantasy without learning of the actual individual behind it. this i too have a problem with.

 

distilled you, Ariane, and i both hold the same value, understanding and loving the real person behind the persona.

[Ariane Valmont 332]

etasman, you make some very good points.

 

But wouldn't you say that if someone actually believed SPs are necessarily understanding, caring and good sex partners, they would be very naive? And they would probably set themselves up for a disappointment because SPs are just like any women, some of them do have those qualities but others don't.

 

Don't get me wrong, I much prefer someone who generalize by thinking SPs are wonderful human beings than people who say the contrary. ;) ... I would still prefer to attract men for me than because of my occupation. That being said, of course, what you do in life IS part of who you are since you have made that choice based on your values and aspirations. But only a small part.

 

In my personal life, when I meet men, I usually don't tell them right away that I am an escort, especially because I don't want them to have preconceived ideas (whether positive or negative) about who I am. If I were to meet someone who wants to date me mainly because I am an SP, I would tend to run away because I would feel this person wants to be with me for the wrong reasons.

[etasman2000 15994]

But wouldn't you say that if someone actually believed SPs are necessarily understanding, caring and good sex partners, they would be very naive? And they would probably set themselves up for a disappointment because SPs are just like any women, some of them do have those qualities but others don't.

 

Perhaps they are naive, perhaps they aren't. This is a self selection group after all. The best SP are understanding, caring and typically good sex partners, if I may wager, like yourself.

 

It is no different from looking for someone logical in a group of mathematicians, some are some aren't, yet the high probability is they are logical.

 

 

I would still prefer to attract men for me than because of my occupation.

 

Here we differ, I would prefer *not* to attract men at all :)

 

That being said, of course, what you do in life IS part of who you are since you have made that choice based on your values and aspirations. But only a small part.

 

Agreed to a point. Consider we work around 8 hours a day 40 hours a week, that is a significant chunk of our waking lives. Some of us also identify ourselves by our professions, there will be spill overs to other parts of live.

 

If I were to meet someone who wants to date me mainly because I am an SP, I would tend to run away because I would feel this person wants to be with me for the wrong reasons.

 

I agree with you here, if I feel it is for the wrong reasons I would tend to run away as well regardless if the initial attractor was my profession, physical attributes or otherwise.

[Ariane Valmont 332]

The best SP are understanding, caring and typically good sex partners, if I may wager, like yourself.

 

Well, I certainly try to be all of those things. :)

 

As for the rest of your post, I agree with everything you said. You have convinced me: if, at first, someone in my personal life is interested in me because I am an SP, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. ;)

[Narman 117]

I personally would not trust someone who is specifically looking to date an SP.

 

First, it seems weird to me to pick someone mainly because of their work, whatever that work may be. Second, dating an SP can be quite difficult (obviously, it's not easy to share the woman you love) so I can't really understand why someone would be looking on purpose to go through that.

 

Now, if you fall in love with an SP by coincidence, that is a whole other story.

 

Maybe this is just a cliche, but it seems to me that many women may initially chose (or at least be attracted) to someone else of a particular profession too. I'm thinking of the whole Dr., Lawyer, CEO, Veterinarian, (PhD?...nah probably not haha) type of thing. Additionally, most of these types of positions tend to be very time consuming, therefore making a relationship quite difficult.

 

Just a though...Cheers

[NotchJohnson 214123]

If an sp gets seriously involved in a relationship with anyone being a customer or a perfect stranger, how will this affect; 1) her performance as an sp, by this I mean will the sp still give the same services to her clients or be affected by her emotions. 2) in her after working hours life and in the relationship the bf knowing about her work, is she still emotionnaly at work or totally dedicated to her bf.

 

For example the babysitter who as her kids and keeps other kids, are all the kids treated equally or does her kids have more affection or rewards than the others. This is during babysitting hours and after hours.

 

I don't know if I make myself clear on this but just a thought.