castle 38816 Report post Posted August 17, 2012 I've recently come to the self realization that I have a fetish for messing around with another man's girl. Whether he be in the know or not. Whether he be ok with it or not. Doesn't matter. I just really dig fishing in another man's pond. I can't really explain it....in all other respects I'm a total boyscout. Honest, respectful, all that jazz. Maybe it has something to do with my sexual history. I lost my virginity at 18 to someone who had a boyfriend back at home. It was a dirty, hot, one time thing and as guilty as I felt I also got a certain guilty pleasure out of it. Honestly, it's only happened with two women (that I know of) but just the thought of it turns me on. Same goes with SP's, if I find out that a SP has a S/O, whether she tell me or whether she mentions it in a thread here on cerb...well...I get very excited at the thought of dipping my wick in someone else's wax ;) I do have some scruples though, Not a friend's or relative's S/O. And not if there is a chance of children being hurt as a result. My last "relationship" if you can call it that was such an affair. I ended up breaking it off because of the children. Children don't frighten me away, but it was just getting a little too messy. The children asking about me, her asking her children to lie for her, etc. That was a big no-no for me. I guess this is all a little hypocritical of me, as I won't under any circumstances cheat if I'm in a relationship. I even stopped hobbying for several months while I was having the affair with the aforementioned lady with children. I cheated once and still feel like dog shit about it to this day. So never again. And all this isn't to say that I don't also enjoy single women. I love women and I love sex. Period. But I do also love that forbidden fruit! ;) It's odd because for anyone who really knows me, would be able to tell you that this preference is so very out of character for me. So what say you people? Anyone else have this particular fetish and can explain it? ...Or am I simply damned? :p 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) Well don't know if this adds anything to this thread but here goes. And I wouldn't have been drawn to the thread except the title fishing, I thought it actually had to do with fishing LOL Back many years ago, in my thirties, when I was a young pup (when your fifty one your thirties seem so young) and I was dating, I had hit a dry spell. A friend of mine, he was single also, same thing. Yes there were available single women. But they were going after married men. And in some cases, the married men said no, "I'm married" But quite a few would hook up with with the single women, marriage aside (btw I'm not, irrespective of terms used here passing any judgements, just making observations from my experience). The single woman thought she found the man of her dreams, the guy, sex. He had no intention of leaving his wife/cl. A female friend of mine (just a friend) said many women like going after married men. They see them as a challenge. And once they get them, if they get them, they think they can change them from a husband who cheats (again no judgements here, trying to find the right terminology) to a faithful husband. This thinking always has escaped me, it seems so dysfunctional. A woman chooses to go after a married man to be her husband/cl, and if she gets him she is the one to change him. Not to mention from that guy's viewpoint, he must think she is comfortable with the idea of infidelity (again, not trying to sound judgmental, just trying to find the right terms) so he continues seeing other women. On a personal note, my fiance decided to have a pre marital (very close to when we were going to get married) affair (or fling) Well she got pregnant by a married man. His marriage ended. He refused to support the child. She shows up at my place, pregnant expecting me to still want to marry her, well no, marriage off (I may make it sound like it was an easy decision, but at the time, yes still loved her, but I knew at that point I couldn't trust her, it was the worst quite a few months of my life) But thank god for very supportive friends. However I digress But it seemed in her case, she was more interested in taking a chance and going after a married guy than getting married. Anyhow that's ancient history, and a rambling for whatever it's worth RG Edited August 17, 2012 by r__m__g_uy 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted August 17, 2012 Ha! I thought women hooking up with their divorce attorney only happened on tv! :p And I don't think that anything that happens on TV or fiction is anywhere near as strange as real life :) Real life is definitely stranger than fiction quite often! So he drained all the bank accounts and expected that would cause her to have to come crawling back after she left, but surprise! she found a nice gentleman that had a gold card - you loose sucker. Women deserve to be treated well and with respect, if and when a man mistreats a beautiful woman he does so at his own peril. At the end of the day, St. Peter (for you Catholics in the world) will be pushing the down button the elevator when one of these guys comes along. In any event, we did marry, had a great marriage until she became disabled and I have no regrets to this day. In fact I think it is still a good marriage as I have her permission (although not her direct knowledge) to be here, but just the same, no fear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted August 17, 2012 So he drained all the bank accounts and expected that would cause her to have to come crawling back after she left, but surprise! she found a nice gentleman that had a gold card - you loose sucker. Women deserve to be treated well and with respect, if and when a man mistreats a beautiful woman he does so at his own peril. Agreed. It really is that much easier on the conscience when the other guy happens to be a total douche bag. :D Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DukeSSk 3430 Report post Posted August 18, 2012 A female friend of mine (just a friend) said many women like going after married men. They see them as a challenge. And once they get them, if they get them, they think they can change them from a husband who cheats (again no judgements here, trying to find the right terminology) to a faithful husband. This thinking always has escaped me, it seems so dysfunctional. A woman chooses to go after a married man to be her husband/cl, and if she gets him she is the one to change him. Not to mention from that guy's viewpoint, he must think she is comfortable with the idea of infidelity (again, not trying to sound judgmental, just trying to find the right terms) so he continues seeing other women. ... RG I think women like them come to your female friend's conclusion since the married man is marriage-material, given he's passed all the trials and tests of his wife through the years. So, they go after him. Ya, I agree with the "challenge" part. Same reason why teenagers and young women go after blue-collar bad boys even if they walk all over her. (not being judgmental) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 18, 2012 I think women like them come to your female friend's conclusion since the married man is marriage-material, given he's passed all the trials and tests of his wife through the years. So, they go after him. Except the man doesn't meet the one most important marriage-material criteria for the woman. The woman wants a faithful one woman man. How does she go about getting him. Going after a man who does cheat, and isn't a one woman man. What makes the woman think things will change? That part I found dysfunctional. And when I heard some of these women crying about how the married man they stole (and they didn't have any regrets over marriages broken up...and in some cases they knew and were friends with the wife) didn't stay, well I just had to bite my tongue. RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted August 18, 2012 Except the man doesn't meet the one most important marriage-material criteria for the woman.The woman wants a faithful one woman man. How does she go about getting him. Going after a man who does cheat, and isn't a one woman man. What makes the woman think things will change? That part I found dysfunctional. And when I heard some of these women crying about how the married man they stole (and they didn't have any regrets over marriages broken up...and in some cases they knew and were friends with the wife) didn't stay, well I just had to bite my tongue. RG Again, same goes with both sexes. A guy hooking up with a married woman and thinks that if they end up together that she'll be faithful.....kind of fooling himself. I'm sure there are the rare exceptions, as in backrubman's case, where the marriage, for all intents and purposes, is already over except for on paper. But the majority of the time........if she cheated on her husband with you.....then once things get stale, she's gonna start looking around again. I guess the trick is to not let things get stale. Easier said than done though. I've learned my lesson. Not counting hobbying I don't actively seek out these kind of affairs in my personal life. But if the opportunity happens to fall in my lap again I'm not making any plans for the future with a married/attached woman. I'm going to approach it as a very sex only/no strings attached kind of arrangement. And I'm going to make sure that's communicated to her in the most literal way possible. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted August 18, 2012 (edited) I had a very brief affair with a married woman that was trouble from the start. Her sister found out about it and threatened to out us to her family. A public confrontation erupted with me at the recieving end of a screaming match from the sister who freaked out in a public bar and then tried to deck me. She connected but being the gentleman I am I walked away from the whole situation. Lesson learned! I will never go out and have another affair with a married woman ever again. Edited August 18, 2012 by N***he**Ont**y Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jake_cdn Report post Posted August 18, 2012 (edited) I have a fundamental problem with this train of thought. Of course, this is a personal opinion. I believe that at this juncture of life there should be as much honesty in all aspects of life a possible. This, to me, especially holds true when starting a relationship with a person be it an affair or a "one-off". Being open with a person allows both of you the ability to make an informed decision to engage in the activity or not. It has been said that people would not engage if there were children or relatives involved but to me that is simply rationalization. Anyone who has been on the back end of this type of relationship knows the suffering that the SO goes through but it does not stop there. There are other people who are involved and that includes friends and relatives (on both sides of the relationship). I see no reason not to be honest in this situation and that includes telling your SO that there is something missing in your relationship and you need explore some different avenues to satisfy those needs. This may cause the end of the relationship or may even serve to be cathartic in evolving or correcting your relationship. If this is about risk then take the chance of being caught in public or some other adventure that stimulates your adrenalin. This is my opinion and my way of life. I have found that the only people that should be impacted are the participants if risk turns to pain. Edited August 19, 2012 by jake_cdn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 18, 2012 Reading this thread has got me to thinking. For those who have a marriage in a rut, maybe your partner has medical issues and so on, unless you are prepared to end the marriage, having affairs, generally speaking isn't the way to go. The spouse will end up hurt, not only from the sexually infidelity, but probably more so from the emotional (read love) infidelity. The lady/gentleman who is the other woman/man may get involved with someone married on the hopes of finding true love, only to find a uncommitted relationship, and they are dumped and left hurt as well. But one option, seeing escorts seems a solution (well maybe not the perfect solution, but it isn't a perfect world) for a marriage in a rut, or bad marriage etc. It allows a spouse in a not so perfect marriage an escape without the risk of true emotional infidelity. The escort isn't going to try to steal the spouse for her own, so no real threat to the marriage. And anyone seeing escorts who keeps a head on his shoulders knows, or should know that the SP, no matter how much she might like you, doesn't have genuine feelings (read love) for you. So seeing escorts, while allowing sexually infidelity, does so without the risk of true emotional infidelity A rambling from a happy single guy who loves this poly amorous lifestyle For whatever it contributes to this thread RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted August 18, 2012 I think there are two different conversations happening in this thread, and I'll post separately about each. First up: infidelity. Without question the ideal way to respond when a relationship has lots its spark, or even lost intimacy altogether, is for the partners to talk and sort something out. There's guaranteed to be other things going on of which this is just a symptom. And if you can't talk with your partner about something so fundamental, then there are much bigger problems with the relationship than just the sex. BUT... everyone's circumstances are different. Let's accept that sometimes there are some situations where that conversation is just not possible. The risk of the conversation going badly is too great, the partner is unreasonable but there are other considerations like children... whatever. For reasons important only to the individual, he has decided to take the dubious, risky, but in this case justified-in-his-mind step of looking outside the relationship to satisfy emotional, intimate, and sexual needs. Once that decision is made, SPs can provide an extremely wise option. While going out and seeking an affair with a "civilian" is like jumping into an unpredictable, raging river, seeing an SP is like filling a measuring cup from a tap. The SP experience comes with known boundaries of duration and emotional entanglement; and usually both parties have a full understanding and respect for these boundaries. I almost imagine The Most Interesting Man in the World saying into the camera, "I don't always step outside my relationship; but when I do, it's with an escort." Best-case scenario: the experience with the SP equips the guy to look more deeply into his relationship and summon the conviction to deal with its problems. Next: the irrational psychology of sex. The second conversation in this thread, which largely subsided after a few posts but is also interesting, is: the psychology of "having" another man's wife. Although this is a treacherous subject, it's the type of thing I find so deeply fascinating about sex. So much psychology surrounds it, drawing from fundamental motives and deeply buried ideas about sexual roles, power games, and thrilling taboos. I imagine the "having his wife" scenario draws from a couple of things. One obvious piece of the puzzle is that it's a triumphant victory in a competition with another man. Even if it's secret and the other man doesn't realize there's a game going on, he's been beaten and you've taken his property. (Sorry to all women for how horrible that sounds -- we're talking foundational, sometimes ugly psychological motives here.) It's playing out a little scene featuring the basic instinct of people to compete with others of the same sex for mates. On a slightly more positive note there's the idea that the married woman has given herself to you despite the obvious risks and pressures that would normally prevent it. Now it's not about having beaten the other man; it's about successfully seducing the woman against the odds. Once again -- what a triumph! Look what you've accomplished! To have convinced not just a free woman, but a "taken" woman, to hop into bed with you, you must be a prodigiously talented player in the sexual game. It's easy to poke holes in both of these interpretations of what's really happening in an affair. But the subconscious is seldom rational; it's about meeting emotional needs and shoring up our self-worth and sense of security and achievement. The fact that sexual behaviour is so expressive of these basic desires means it can lead to strange and destructive, yet powerfully compelling, decisions and actions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted August 19, 2012 I've recently come to the self realization that I have a fetish for messing around with another man's girl. Whether he be in the know or not. Whether he be ok with it or not. Doesn't matter. I just really dig fishing in another man's pond. I can't really explain it....in all other respects I'm a total boyscout. Honest, respectful, all that jazz. Maybe it has something to do with my sexual history. I lost my virginity at 18 to someone who had a boyfriend back at home. It was a dirty, hot, one time thing and as guilty as I felt I also got a certain guilty pleasure out of it. Honestly, it's only happened with two women (that I know of) but just the thought of it turns me on. Same goes with SP's, if I find out that a SP has a S/O, whether she tell me or whether she mentions it in a thread here on cerb...well...I get very excited at the thought of dipping my wick in someone else's wax ;) I do have some scruples though, Not a friend's or relative's S/O. And not if there is a chance of children being hurt as a result. My last "relationship" if you can call it that was such an affair. I ended up breaking it off because of the children. Children don't frighten me away, but it was just getting a little too messy. The children asking about me, her asking her children to lie for her, etc. That was a big no-no for me. I guess this is all a little hypocritical of me, as I won't under any circumstances cheat if I'm in a relationship. I even stopped hobbying for several months while I was having the affair with the aforementioned lady with children. I cheated once and still feel like dog shit about it to this day. So never again. And all this isn't to say that I don't also enjoy single women. I love women and I love sex. Period. But I do also love that forbidden fruit! ;) It's odd because for anyone who really knows me, would be able to tell you that this preference is so very out of character for me. So what say you people? Anyone else have this particular fetish and can explain it? ...Or am I simply damned? :p I have a few words of advice for you.. Don't get caught!!! lol Most SPs who have boyfriends or husbands are already aware of what they do for a living. I think it's just a case of you thinking the grass is greener on the other side or the thrill of getting caught.lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted August 24, 2012 Next: the irrational psychology of sex. The second conversation in this thread, which largely subsided after a few posts but is also interesting, is: the psychology of "having" another man's wife. Although this is a treacherous subject, it's the type of thing I find so deeply fascinating about sex. So much psychology surrounds it, drawing from fundamental motives and deeply buried ideas about sexual roles, power games, and thrilling taboos. I imagine the "having his wife" scenario draws from a couple of things. One obvious piece of the puzzle is that it's a triumphant victory in a competition with another man. Even if it's secret and the other man doesn't realize there's a game going on, he's been beaten and you've taken his property. (Sorry to all women for how horrible that sounds -- we're talking foundational, sometimes ugly psychological motives here.) It's playing out a little scene featuring the basic instinct of people to compete with others of the same sex for mates. On a slightly more positive note there's the idea that the married woman has given herself to you despite the obvious risks and pressures that would normally prevent it. Now it's not about having beaten the other man; it's about successfully seducing the woman against the odds. Once again -- what a triumph! Look what you've accomplished! To have convinced not just a free woman, but a "taken" woman, to hop into bed with you, you must be a prodigiously talented player in the sexual game. Been thinking about this a lot since I started this thread and I gotta say I agree with you. It's very much about the psychological power play, and the need to compete with others of the same sex for the affections of the opposite sex. It's something that's been happening since we were all running around in loin cloths, beating each other with sticks and chucking rocks at each others heads. And it still happens today even with just a couple of single buddies hitting up a club together (this particular competition between males has come to be known as "cock blocking") ....which all of a sudden makes me wonder.....Ladies? What is the female equivalent to "cock blocking" called? I'm sure it must have a name and I'm just DYING to know what it is! :p) Anyway.....got a little off track there lol. So that explains why the idea of personally getting together with another man's S/O is appealing....but then why do I find the idea of an SP with a S/O equally appealing? There's no competition...there's no power play. She's providing me with a service, and usually with the S/O's knowledge and acceptance. I guess in this instance it's the taboo aspect of it. Taboo's have always been....and will always be.....appealing to us. Being with a sex worker is still very much a taboo in today's society. And then you add the married/attached woman aspect to it. It's a double whammy of taboo!! :D I also think it's kind of funny how many people have expressed their distaste and disapproval at this "disturbing" and "treacherous" fetish of mine. I can understand how you men don't like the idea of your wife messing around with some dude (me perhaps? ;) ) behind your back. But then correct me if I'm wrong but aren't the majority of you on here for the explicit purpose of finding an escort or M/A to play with your ding-a-ling without your wife's knowledge? Meanwhile she's at home taking care of your kids and keeping your dinner warm, feeling all kinds of sorry for you because she thinks you're "working late" or "stuck in traffic"? After all is said and done.....could you really blame her for getting some on the side too (from me perhaps ;) ) ? I'm not judging. I am very well aware that no one (and I mean NO ONE!) is in a position to judge someone elses personal situation or sexual preferences. I'm simply pointing out what may in fact be a minor case of the pot and the kettle :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted August 24, 2012 Fishing in someone else's pond is a dangerous game. To mix metaphors, if you play with fire be prepared to get burned. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Funny, I always thought cock-blocking referred not so much to "he won instead of me!", but other indirect defeats like "her girlfriend interceded and I lost my chance" or "my buddy was an idiot and she walked away from us". But I'm often terrible at knowing this stuff. Yeah, the drives of breaking a taboo and winning a competition are pretty strong and basic. Sex draws so much power from basic psychological undercurrents... I always imagine it like hurricanes, gathering strength over warm, wet air masses at sea. But the sea is your subconscious mind, secret desires, and fundamental beliefs about you, other people, and how the two relate. The weirdest and least-likely stuff can feed our sexual impulses and make them overwhelming. Re. SPs fulfilling the role just fine despite the obvious differences: I don't think our subconscious is terribly bright or discriminating. It deals in symbols and meanings, not facts and logic. The SP is close enough, even if you haven't really seduced her and her husband is okay with what's going on. She's --somebody's wife-- and that's all that matters. We could make a long, long, LONG list of all the things that SPs aren't in real life, but do a very good job of approximating. Our subconscious minds eager co-conspirators in this. I mentioned "treacherous" partly because, yeah, we're talking about adultery and that can be a hot-button issue. But also we're talking analytically about deep motives that drive us sexually. Some folks are turned off sharply by that, like analyzing someone's religion or some other important, fundamental conviction. You never know what response that's going to get. Other people just find it tedious and stop reading. :) Me, I could spend hours and hours on the subject, it intrigues me deeply (and I have plenty of little kinks and yearnings of my own that warrant some deep thought). Also... just to point out... not every client here is married. ;) So visiting an SP isn't always an adulterous act. Edited August 25, 2012 by MightyPen Hurricanes. Not tornadoes. ;) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted August 25, 2012 I'd agree with backrubman .... At least No judgement on my part. More just caution. I know a number of married women who I find extremely attractive and would love an opportunity for some no strings attached fun with. But the risks are too high ... And that's why I adore the lovely ladies of CERB. Porthos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted August 25, 2012 I'd agree with backrubman .... At least No judgement on my part. More just caution. I know a number of married women who I find extremely attractive and would love an opportunity for some no strings attached fun with. But the risks are too high ... And that's why I adore the lovely ladies of CERB. Porthos Of course... but I suppose if you didn't know about CERB or were one of the many people that still have a total lack of understanding for this industry and believe all the crazy stereotypes and incorrect information so we eliminate lovely CERB ladies from your available choices (through ignorance or economics) then an affair with another married person is likely safer in many ways as they have a secret to keep also and it's more difficult for them to form an emotional attachment, be indiscreet or for things to get really messy? That said, it is a far better approach indeed to keep the company of a professional companion :) And I really believe the lovely ladies provide an invaluable service to us married folk in many more ways than the immediately obvious ones. Just the same I think I'd be chicken enough not to dare attempt either approach without my SO's permission. I think my morals would also play a role but I'd be the last to judge anyone that doesn't have permission -- in fact I'd probably admire them for taking action and putting the risks aside :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted August 25, 2012 Well Castle it is your life......go for it but be prepared for repercussions ! They can bite and bite hard. My experience with this for example... The fella that got caught fucking my first wife spent a night in the hospital, he lost a very very good job eventually cause he worked for a friend of mine who was more pissed off than I was, shunned in the community and to be honest is a lonely and depressed guy now. He used to be proud and feel and act like he was on top of the world. He was a single guy. No problem in his lifetime getting a girlfriend or finding one nighter sexcapades. In my opinion he picked the wrong path in life and got hurt in many ways .... physically and more so mentally and hurt many many others along the way I am not holier than thou. I have visted in the past with SP's as a married man. I knew the consequences to myself and the people close to me on my side of the fence....but also knowing if I was caught in the act I am not destroying another marriage and peoples lives as they know it on the other side of the fence. My two cents.... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 26, 2012 Well Castle it is your life......go for it but be prepared for repercussions ! They can bite and bite hard. My experience with this for example... The fella that got caught fucking my first wife spent a night in the hospital, he lost a very very good job eventually cause he worked for a friend of mine who was more pissed off than I was, shunned in the community and to be honest is a lonely and depressed guy now. He used to be proud and feel and act like he was on top of the world. He was a single guy. No problem in his lifetime getting a girlfriend or finding one nighter sexcapades. In my opinion he picked the wrong path in life and got hurt in many ways .... physically and more so mentally and hurt many many others along the way I am not holier than thou. I have visted in the past with SP's as a married man. I knew the consequences to myself and the people close to me on my side of the fence....but also knowing if I was caught in the act I am not destroying another marriage and peoples lives as they know it on the other side of the fence. My two cents.... Back to my ex-fiance. She was a single mother already, and I, not trying to sound noble here, was ready to marry her, and help her raise her child (well I guess baby, he was under one year old at the time) She was wayyyyy in debt, needed a credit card just to buy groceries. Her one dream was to own a house. My wedding present was buying her a house she loved. I had the money for a down payment, and told her I would cover mortgage payments/insurance/heat & hydro for the first year, she could put what she made against her debts (especially credit cards) She decided to have a fling with a married man before our marriage. Got pregnant. The "man" refused child support of any sort...don't know if she finally got support from him through the courts or not. But it broke up a marriage, my fiance became my ex-fiance. She had problems with debt, never got her dream house. I give her credit for having the baby and raising it. But I don't think her life turned out too good. She never married and never had help raising her child. But had I got married, I wouldn't be here now RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted August 26, 2012 Back to my ex-fiance. She was a single mother already, and I, not trying to sound noble here, was ready to marry her, and help her raise her child (well I guess baby, he was under one year old at the time) She was wayyyyy in debt, needed a credit card just to buy groceries. Well of course I wasn't in love with her and you must have been to be willing to get her the house of her dreams... That's the RG gentleman we all know and respect. The affair aside for a moment, the #1 marriage ending nightmare is money problems (not affairs) so it really sounds to me like you dodged a bullet here RG. Perhaps what ended the engagement was a blessing in disguise? Just the way it seems to someone so far removed from the situation I really have no idea for sure... but I know my first wife was absolutely wonderful for the first two years and then she started gambling and that was the tip of the iceberg... looking back on it (20-20 hindsight is a wonderful thing) I was quite a fool at the time and I now regret being faithful to her to spite so many lucrative opportunities to not be and now knowing that she wasn't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 26, 2012 Well of course I wasn't in love with her and you must have been to be willing to get her the house of her dreams... That's the RG gentleman we all know and respect. The affair aside for a moment, the #1 marriage ending nightmare is money problems (not affairs) so it really sounds to me like you dodged a bullet here RG. Perhaps what ended the engagement was a blessing in disguise? Just the way it seems to someone so far removed from the situation I really have no idea for sure... but I know my first wife was absolutely wonderful for the first two years and then she started gambling and that was the tip of the iceberg... looking back on it (20-20 hindsight is a wonderful thing) I was quite a fool at the time and I now regret being faithful to her to spite so many lucrative opportunities to not be and now knowing that she wasn't. First, yes, I was in love with her. And when she showed up at my place very pregnant, (after she and the married guy broke up) asking if we could still get married, one of the hardest things I did was telling her no, it's over. It wasn't an easy time for me, I was heartbroken, but yes, I dodged a couple bullets I guess (infidelity, money, helping raise two kids, each having a different father) not to mention at that time I wanted a child of my own...just too complicated. Especially with someone you could no longer trust The best "relationships" for lack of a better word are those I've made in this lifestyle, uncomplicated, no drama, no strings attached escapes RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites