When a lady declines your request(s)...

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Gentlemen,

 

In light of recent events, I would like to bring a few respectful points to your attention regarding declined requests.

"No" means what it means -NO- Nothing less, nothing more. It simply means no! Respect it and move on to someone

else who will be able to provide you with what you are looking for without making a huge fuss about it and accusing

the lady of having a bad attitude, especially when the request(s) are turned down gently and diplomatically.

 

 

Please understand that when a lady already has a lot of pictures available for you to look at, she may not want to

send you more pictures of herself because you want to see a specific body part. There are a multitude of reasons

for her to decline politely and I do not think her personal or professional reasons should matter or made subject of

pure assumptions after turning you down;

If that specific body part picture is not available for you to look at before an encounter and if that specific picture

is going to make or break an appointment, please look for ladies who already show what you are looking for.

 

 

Furthermore, when a lady says she is not available to meet with you, she is NOT available to meet with you. Again,

the reasons for her not being able to see you are irrelevant. Please, move on to someone who is without feeling

the need to investigate as to why she was not available. It's quite creepy when I'm told, at a later time by a gentleman

I wasn't available for, that after doing 'local inquiries' he was able to find out "why" I was not available to meet with him. Why the need to take it that far?

 

 

No matter what your request is (extra pictures, specific 'sercives', ect, even a get together), when a lady declines,

it is what it is and her preferences, choices and decisions should be respected even though you would've preferred otherwise. There is also no need to put her under a scrutinising eye and make silly assumptions when you do not get

what you want. Acting out, being mean spirited, gossiping and the likes after the fact is never going to get you what you wanted in the first place... It is simply better to forget about it and move on.

 

 

Gabriella

[rileydaniels 1901]

Great post, This could have been posted in a few other places. The last little while there has been heated discusssion if a SP should be able to refuse a client based on race they even went as far as to post certain ads that had the sps restrictions and they weren't able to see pass that its her choice and not theirs because they feel ebcause they have the money they think they have power

[roamingguy 300292]

Just because a gentleman does pay a lady for her time doesn't mean he owns her for that time

Every act that takes place are still between consenting adults. If the lady does not consent to a certain service, irrespective of how much you pay for her time, means you do not get certain services.

And if the lady does not want to see you, she has the right to not see you,

just as a gentleman has the right to chose which SP's he will see or not see

And if you are here to get photos, the ones provided on websites and profiles suffice. If you want more explicit photos, your local corner store carries Playboy or Penthouse. The photos provided by the lady are to entice, and give you an idea of her looks.

Encounters are to be mutually beneficial and 100% consensual

A rambling

Good thread Gabriella

RG

[billybob 20128]

Great post, This could have been posted in a few other places. The last little while there has been heated discusssion if a SP should be able to refuse a client based on race they even went as far as to post certain ads that had the sps restrictions and they weren't able to see pass that its her choice and not theirs because they feel ebcause they have the money they think they have power

 

I haven't seen the thread about refusing a client based on race. Of course as an SP you can chose to see who you want based on any criteria. Same goes with the client of course, we chose who we want to see based on our own criteria. It goes both ways. I could see how the discussion could get heated, anytime race is involved people can and will get animated.

 

I know sometimes the Ladies get tired of the same questions, I myself have sent Ladies questions before an encounter, I find as long as you are respectful with your questions you will get an equally respectful response. But once the question is asked and answered it should end there.

 

If you don't get the answer you want and continue to correspond with the Lady nothing good will come of it. I'm always suspicious that the guys who do this do it for personal entertainment (sick I know) and I also wonder about the guys who are genuine and think an encounter could be enjoyable after annoying the fuck out of the Lady you are trying to see.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Great post, This could have been posted in a few other places. The last little while there has been heated discusssion if a SP should be able to refuse a client based on race they even went as far as to post certain ads that had the sps restrictions and they weren't able to see pass that its her choice and not theirs because they feel ebcause they have the money they think they have power

I have been following the thread that Riley has posted about elsewhere and they dont seem to understand that the SP has the right to choose her own clientle as much as the the client has the right to see whom he or she wants!

[roamingguy 300292]

Here is the thread about race

And yes, a touchy subject...really race versus a lady's right to choose IMHO

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=93093&highlight=race

 

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Great thread, Gabriella. I've had a lot of these, lately, for some reason. I'm not sure why.

 

My reasons for declining the opportunity to entertain someone are personal, they're about me, not necessarily about him. Something doesn't feel right to me. It could be my mood when I read the e-mail. It could be that the fellow reminds me of someone I don't want to remember. It could be that I find communicating with him more difficult or complicated than I'm able to manage at the time.

 

I've had about ten inquiries in the last 4-6 weeks from men who have demanded assurance I'm disease-free. Many of them have replied with thinly veiled hostility to my responses. I'm irritated by this and so I won't give these inquiries a second glance for quite awhile.

 

Lately, I've had more contact with long-time, regular clients than I've had all summer which, frankly, makes me feel somewhat less interested in new clients. Returning clients always have a higher priority for me.

 

I am sure that I turn away men who would be wonderful clients, who would enjoy me and whom I would be pleased to have encountered. My own moods and nit-picking tendencies are aspects of my personality that I accept. I won't be cajoled, bullied, begged, manipulated or threatened into accepting a client I don't want to see. I wouldn't enjoy the engagement and if I don't enjoy it, he can be certain that he won't, either.

 

There are many wonderful ladies in this industry. If one of us turns you down, accept that's just her, it's not about you, and move on.

[futileresistenz 28253]

In this business there should never be any assumption on the part of a client that a provider has to accept any client's behaviour, be it in the becoming-acquainted phase, or in the actual meeting, i.e. once he is paying her for her time. Anyone who believes this is either grossly immature, naive, or just plain arrogant.

 

Any number of bad behaviours --on a logarithmic scale of severity-- will raise red flags with the provider, and subsequent communications, if they are pursued by the client, usually only make matters worse. For the client then to throw a fit, upset the lady even further, gossip about her to others, etc. is tantamount to digging his own grave - he will never see that lady, and may ruin it for himself altogether.

 

One does oneself a huge favour in this game by adhering to the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Why some people behave contrary to this is a topic for another day.

 

If a lady has refused to see a client due to a specific request, behaviour she wishes not to entertain, or for whatever reason, there are plenty of others out there and it is best just to move on. She has exactly the same rights as you the client, to choose who she will meet with.

FR

[rileydaniels 1901]

Here is the thread about race

And yes, a touchy subject...really race versus a lady's right to choose IMHO

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=93093&highlight=race

 

RG

 

 

The thread I am talking about is on another board that is a constant dicussion there but looks like its also a discussion here too.

[Athos 108589]

Well, not much to add here. Gabriella said it beautifully.

 

I continue to be amazed. Given this business involves women dedicating themselves to the pleasure of men, it sure seems to bring out the very worst in some men.

[Andee 220524]

Even when some of us have tried to convey the message to a gentlemen why we can't or don't want to see them, some have trouble dealing with rejection and their way of handling it is to then to pressure the lady to reveal why, insult or degrade the lady in some which is not pleasant. But at least then, it's an assurance to me that I made the right decision.

 

Sometimes it's not "about you" fella. We have lives and you have no idea what may be on our plate. And even if it is "about you", and the lady doesn't want to "go there" by explaining specifically why she won't see you, save face and don't press on with the issue. And if it comes down her actually telling you "the truth", then just take your lumps and move on.

 

Just as you are under no obligation to see a particular lady, we are under no obligation to see everyone who asks.

 

I just want to add, that turning down clients is something we do for our safety and peace of mind in order to ensure that we give the best level of service possible. If we're not "feeling it", then no sense in doing it.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I should also add that if you've burned an SP in the past, do not expect her to see you again no matter how many times you've apologized. If you've done something or acted highly inappropriate to an SP, guaranteed you've made it to her shit list for lack of a better word.

 

Don't call her, don't text her, don't friend request her after she's removed you and don't bash the SP to other SPs friends of hers telling them the SP in question 'needs help' when she doesn't answer you back. Take a clue! If she did, it would be to "f------ off" and many ladies have more class than that.

 

In my own experience, if you've burned me or acted inappropriately towards me, there are no second chances and you no longer exist in my world. If I had another type of personality, all the guys on my shit list would literally be told to go f------ themselves or worse because that's what I think in my head about people who have wronged me but I'm better than that. I don't bother with verbal rampages because some people just arent' worth it and it's their loss in the end. Treat others how you want to be treated and you will have no problems with the ladies here.

[Hector17 9215]

They shall not be disappointed."

 

That is one of the best things I was taught by my father.

Perhaps a bit cynical, but I have gone to it countless times in my life to rationalize things, avoid disappointment in, and promote forgiveness to people.

[MisterMike 1873]

Gentlemen,

"No" means what it means -NO-

 

Please understand that when a lady already has a lot of pictures available for you to look at, she may not want to send you more pictures of herself because you want to see a specific body part.

 

Furthermore, when a lady says she is not available to meet with you, she is NOT available to meet with you. Again, the reasons for her not being able to see you are irrelevant. Gabriella

 

I would think what Gabrielle is saying here is just common sense. Perhaps some guys just don't understand being intimate is a completely different psychological experience for women than it is for men. Think about it guys, who is being penetrated? So if she says "no" smile and find something else to amuse yourself.

There are still plenty of options.

 

Remember, keep it fun!

[roamingguy 300292]

Even when some of us have tried to convey the message to a gentlemen why we can't or don't want to see them, some have trouble dealing with rejection and their way of handling it is to then to pressure the lady to reveal why, insult or degrade the lady in some which is not pleasant. But at least then, it's an assurance to me that I made the right decision.

 

Sometimes it's not "about you" fella. We have lives and you have no idea what may be on our plate. And even if it is "about you", and the lady doesn't want to "go there" by explaining specifically why she won't see you, save face and don't press on with the issue. And if it comes down her actually telling you "the truth", then just take your lumps and move on.

 

Just as you are under no obligation to see a particular lady, we are under no obligation to see everyone who asks.

 

I just want to add, that turning down clients is something we do for our safety and peace of mind in order to ensure that we give the best level of service possible. If we're not "feeling it", then no sense in doing it.

 

It is bizarre but true, some people have problems dealing with rejection.

They may not know the reason for the rejection, and it may be something in the lady's personal life that's going on, it may be she senses on a gut level something is off, or she knows that chemistry wise she and the guy won't connect, or she has a concern for her safety (if that, she definitely shouldn't see the guy no amount of money is worth any risk). If a lady declines your request respect it. If you can't do that, it is a sign you don't respect her.

On a sidenote I know twice I carried through with an encounter when my gut said something is off...and twice I should have trusted my gut. And for me, my safety wasn't at risk. But I digress

The guy should accept the rejection like a man. In this lifestyle, there are many ladies you can see. If one lady doesn't want to see you, there are many ladies that will see you. I would rather be with a companion who wants to be with me than dwell on the one who doesn't want to see me.

If it is a case every lady you contact doesn't want to see you, then it's time to look in the mirror, what sort of vibe are you giving off that women don't want to be alone with you.

Some quick thoughts

RG

[Phaedrus 209521]

There are many wonderful ladies in this industry. If one of us turns you down, accept that's just her, it's not about you, and move on.

 

Of course, if you find that a lot of the wonderful ladies in this industry are turning you own, then it might be about you after all...

 

But really, harassing someone for an explanation isn't going to get her to change her mind. And if you push it too far it may get you on a more widespread list of people to be avoided, rather than just hers...

[Athos 108589]

Of course, if you find that a lot of the wonderful ladies in this industry are turning you own, then it might be about you after all...

 

But really, harassing someone for an explanation isn't going to get her to change her mind. And if you push it too far it may get you on a more widespread list of people to be avoided, rather than just hers...

 

Agree completely, and I suspect that if you're getting turned down a lot, probably a few minutes of self-reflection will probably reveal the reason why!

 

Porthos

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Agree completely, and I suspect that if you're getting turned down a lot, probably a few minutes of self-reflection will probably reveal the reason why!

 

Porthos

Although an optimist and even though a few minutes of self-reflection could be useful for some, I highly doubt this type of 'gentleman', and I use the word lightly, will ever come to the realisation that they might be the problem and not the other way around.

 

It is often easier for someone to use projection to make themselves feel better about their own self in situation(s) that are not going the way they wanted to. Once they no longer feel in control of the situation, often, a false sense of entitlement, arrogance, denigration and passive aggressive attitudes follow quite easily while denying any wrong doing.

 

Quite unpleasant to deal with!!

[Athos 108589]

Although an optimist and even though a few minutes of self-reflection could be useful for some, I highly doubt this type of 'gentleman', and I use the word lightly, will ever come to the realisation that they might be the problem and not the other way around.

 

It is often easier for someone to use projection to make themselves feel better about their own self in situation(s) that are not going the way they wanted to. Once they no longer feel in control of the situation, often, a false sense of entitlement, arrogance, denigration and passive aggressive attitudes follow quite easily while denying any wrong doing.

 

Quite unpleasant to deal with!!

 

Sadly I fear you are quite right. I'm frequently amazed at how self-delusional people can be. Sometimes it seems impossible to believe that it is not willful blindness. But, powers of rationalization and self-deception can be very great. And blaming others is always easier than taking a long hard look at yourself. And even more unfortunately, blaming women has been a centuries old tradition for some men.

 

I continue to hope we are moving past that.

 

Porthos

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

There is nothing I can say , but Thank you for this post!:bigclap:

 

You have said it all, and so clearly:)

 

I have gotten so upset with this whole issue, that I have NO patients for this type of coercion from certain individuals that will never make it to my client list!