Bbbj. Is It a Deal Breaker?

[Guest **n****er]

This is just going to turn into what it always does when the question of bbbj comes up. Those that are for and those that are against. No sane individual deliberately sets out to risk anybody's health including their own. But if we're having an open and honest discussion about the questions asked specifically in the poll, I'd venture a guess that most men all around the world would answer similarly to the results we see here.

 

If the question is changed to consider risks than more than likely there would be a change in poll results.

 

I want to be clear here there is no right or wrong answer to the questions posed. It's about personal preference. Some dudes like bbbj some dudes don't care if it's cbj.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

2. INCURABLE -Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea at this point is not incurable. We are looking at the emergence of a drug-resistant strain of gonorrhea, and while there have been cases of drug-resistant gonorrhea in Canada and the US, to date we have not yet seen an incurable case in North America.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/09/drug-resistant-gonorrhea-cefixime-ceftriaxone-treatment_n_1761091.html

"In the United States, there are approximately 300,000 reported cases of gonorrhea each year, but because infected people often have no symptoms, the actual number of cases is likely closer to 700,000, Bolan said.

 

So-called "superbug" drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea accounted for almost one in 10 cases of sexually transmitted disease in Europe in 2010, more than double the rate of the year before, health officials from the Stockholm-based European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control said in June.

 

Dr. Robert Kirkcaldy of the CDC said there have so far been no U.S. cases of "untreatable" gonorrhea, in which the germ resists all known treatments, but U.S. laboratory data suggest resistance is beginning to emerge."

 

CDC guidelines fact sheet

 

Health Canada FAQ

 

Wired article with link to map of susceptibility and treatment-failure cases (9) in Europe

 

I am not saying this to advocate one way or the other as to what sexual health practices one should adopt. It is not my place. What I do advocate is personal responsibility in educating ourselves regarding the risks and rates of transmission, and to use that knowledge to practice safer sex in informed ways. When getting tested for STIs, you can request rectal and/or oral swabs in addition to blood and urine cultures.

 

I have a seen it personally with acquaintances and it's not pretty finding someone who will overlook herpes or gonorrhea...

This, personally, is right up the same alley as the fear-mongering that we see in abstinence-only programs. Saying things like "You won't get a girl/boyfriend if you have an STI" is the type of shaming that drives people away from being tested.

I don't want to single you out, cat. But if we're comparing personal anecdotes, I have a dear friend who has herpes and is happily living with her current partner. Another friend-of-a-friend is in a relationship and has HIV. People are people regardless of the issues they live with, and the important factor is disclosure and informed consent. A healthy and happy sexuality is possible, but it requires education and awareness.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

IMO, comprehensive, non-judgemental education does far better than fear or shame-based education in the prevention of STI transmission. If stigma is attached to something, then we are more likely to avoid it, and less likely to face it by getting ourselves tested.

My sexual health education in high school consisted of slideshows of genitals in various stages of infection (usually the grosser, the better) and all that taught me was to fear. We didn't learn how to put a condom on. We didn't learn that some activities carry more risks than others. And honestly, that type of education put us more at risk because we were less likely to get tested (due to fear and denial) and more likely to engage in risky activities (how many times have you heard people claim that oral sex or anal sex or --insert myth here-- isn't "sex"?).

Using a non-judgemental approach, using accessible language, using proper terminology, being inclusive of ALL sexualities (instead of teaching condom-only prevention), being honest and open and being able to laugh sometimes as how silly sex can be -- THAT is what is going to help.

I'm sorry to hear what your friends have gone through. But that ties back into the stigma that surrounds STIs -- the reaction your friends received is largely due to the fear and myths and stigma surrounding sexuality and sexual health. STIs are not death sentences. It is possible to have a relationship with a partner with an STI and to use safer-sex practices to reduce your chance of transmission.

All that to say... knowledge is power ;)

[waterat 20911]

There is overwhelming research to support your suggestion that attempting to educate through 'fear' doesn't work.

 

I have to admit that the poster put out by the Ontario ministry fo health in the mid '80's' is still my favourite:

 

Bippity, boppity, bee! Beware of STD!

 

waterat.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I attend support groups, watch them suffer thru shingles outbreaks that leave them bedridden for weeks

A quick point out: shingles (varicella zoster) is not the same virus as the herpes simplex (HSV-1 and HSV-2) that causes oral and genital infections, although they are part of the same virus subfamily. Shingles is caused by an initial infection of chickenpox.

[cat 262460]

A quick point out: shingles (varicella zoster) is not the same virus as the herpes simplex (HSV-1 and HSV-2) that causes oral and genital infections, although they are part of the same virus subfamily. Shingles is caused by an initial infection of chickenpox.

 

Amelia, please understand that my statements do not come from being uninformed. 25 years in this industry has given me the opportunity to see things that, at times, I think the younger providers choose to overlook. The seemingly long life ahead often does that. Statistics on a page are one thing, hands on care giving at the ground level can change the way the numbers present. A number with apparent insignificance on a risk assessment chart gains importance with a reality check provided by human circumstance. I understand the difference between the herpes and shingles virus. With a weakened immune system caused by herpes, shingles is a very common discomfort amongst herpes sufferers...

 

cat

[PistolPete 61421]

How the original question below, has got side tracked to health issues,getting tested,ladies being pressured,fear to others of STI's, and whatever else.

 

People do yourself a favor, get tested regularly, educate yourself about STI's and the dam hobby you are in. Personally you never see me down a street looking for a 5 dollar BJ.

 

What ever the lady is offering may it be CBJ or BBBJ so be it, it is of choice and being sound mind knowing what we are all doing with our bodies.

 

Amelia has hit it dead on, it is a matter of educating yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

I am sure there has been a poll about this Subject.

 

But for the sake wanting to know, I have posted this Poll.

 

Any additional comments are welcome; like if you were willing to pay extra for it. If you would prefer if it was a service that wasn't offered.

 

Also if CIM was expected or if it was something that would be considered extra.

 

I think this info would be helpful for everyone, both newbies as an SP or Clients.

 

Thanks,

 

Jason

[Guest *ig*a**]

Well said Pete.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Capital Hunter 18263]

So far I have stayed clear of posting in this thread as per my decision not to enter debates on this board. I have voted on a similar thread on the other board (I voted for option D, the last option. much prefer if she didn't provide the service......). I break my silence briefly to make a few points for whatever it's worth.

 

First the OP said any additional comments are welcome

Any additional comments are welcome; ...........

 

and some of us found it necessary to point out the risks associated with service. So I don't think anything got side tracked. It is up to readers to read and make their own judgement on stated comments.

 

Polls like this one are too often used to pressure paid companions into activities that simply may not be in our best interests. .

 

I also agree with SamanthaEvans that though likely not the intention of the OP, however, polls like this will in fact pressure providers to provide what they may not wish otherwise. I have come indeed across providers who (after I rejected the service they were about to offer and witnessing their puzzled faces,) opened up to me and said that they offer this service because most men demand or want it against their better judgement or will (one as recent as a few days ago). What SamanthaEvans stated in her post was a very sad reality. Of course the hobbyist won't know because he will never be told by the provider that she will do it but against her will....

 

That said I am as guilty as I also make Daty a requirement when I first contact the provider and some may not wish to provide that may feel pressured in doing so because they want my business. However, I could be wrong but I think unlike BBBJ most providers are okay with providing Daty (as per lower health risks associated with Daty, especially HIV) but still I may have come across a case or two when Daty was provided under pressure. I very much prefer if they tell me that they don't wish or prefer not to provide the service and I just move to another who may have no problem providing it and honestly I feel much better this way than the case when one may provide under pressure.

 

I completely disagree on paying extra for any service, If the provider is concerned about health risks associated with BBBJ then she must not do it no matter what. You can't bribe the virus lol. Extra payments is not going to make the service less risky. So, I never pay extra for daty. As for BBBJ/CIM/PSE I will not partake even if the provider pays me lol as per my comment above.

 

As my last comment, I think that providers (indies or those working for agencies) should not offer services that they don't feel comfortable no matter what. You still will get almost 2/3 of the business according to poll results. Hobbyists alike have the equal right to refuse those who decline services they desire as well. This way every one can find his or her match. My views for whatever it's worth.

[bobby bobby 100]

but what r the risks?

i've been told there are absolutely no risks for STI or STD at all...

[mod 135640]

but what r the risks?

i've been told there are absolutely no risks for STI or STD at all...

 

absolutely no risks?? NOPE! WHOEVER TOLD YOU THIS IS WRONG!

 

It is low risk for the really bad ones (especially for the man) for hiv & hep C (the biggies) but stuff like cold soars or bleeding gums increases the risk as blood to blood transfer is where it happens.

 

Now... Both parties can get herpes (Cold soar or genital herpes), Gonorrhea and hpv (Genital Warts) as Gonorrhea and HPV can all live in a throat or genitals (so both are risk for oral unprotected)

 

... also low risk (Much less common for oral transmission but possible) are Hepatitis B, Syphilis, Chlamydia and Chancroid

 

Now... herpes is the most common orally transmitted but really it's only contagious when a soar is developing or developed (Blisters showing) and the person who has the soar knows one is developing cause they BURN! so someone would need to be very irresponsible to have unprotected oral sex knowing that a cold soar is starting or a genital outbreak is starting. New antiviral medicine is available to stop outbreaks or shorten them too so really no excuse for passing herpes to another person.

 

The only ZERO risk is abstinence - anyone who tells you different is an idiot. Know the risks, accept the risks and play within your comfort level.

 

Anyone giving BBBJ as a SP should know the risks already... most people see the risks as non fatal STi/STd's that most can be avoided by a quick inspection of the genitals (warts and soars) and not very risky for HepC and HIV so they are willing to offer those services and accept the low risk level.

[aimtoplease1 1839]

absolutely no risks?? NOPE! WHOEVER TOLD YOU THIS IS WRONG!

 

It is low risk for the really bad ones (especially for the man) for hiv & hep C (the biggies) but stuff like cold soars or bleeding gums increases the risk as blood to blood transfer is where it happens.

 

Now... Both parties can get herpes (Cold soar or genital herpes), Gonorrhea and hpv (Genital Warts) as Gonorrhea and HPV can all live in a throat or genitals (so both are risk for oral unprotected)

 

... also low risk (Much less common for oral transmission but possible) are Hepatitis B, Syphilis, Chlamydia and Chancroid

 

Now... herpes is the most common orally transmitted but really it's only contagious when a soar is developing or developed (Blisters showing) and the person who has the soar knows one is developing cause they BURN! so someone would need to be very irresponsible to have unprotected oral sex knowing that a cold soar is starting or a genital outbreak is starting. New antiviral medicine is available to stop outbreaks or shorten them too so really no excuse for passing herpes to another person.

 

The only ZERO risk is abstinence - anyone who tells you different is an idiot. Know the risks, accept the risks and play within your comfort level.

 

Anyone giving BBBJ as a SP should know the risks already... most people see the risks as non fatal STi/STd's that most can be avoided by a quick inspection of the genitals (warts and soars) and not very risky for HepC and HIV so they are willing to offer those services and accept the low risk level.

Thank you for the info.. It's been very helpful in my case.

[PistolPete 61421]

Of course the poll results clearly show the ladies are under pressure to provide this even if they would rather not and that of course leads to an interesting discussion as it did.

 

Sorry but I also respectfully disagree with this, I don't any lady in this business is " under pressure" to provide this(BBBJ).

 

There is many ladies I have met that stick to their service which is CBJ, where others I've met offer a BBBJ.

 

It is their matter of choice, and preference of a SP and they should never feel "under pressure" because of a poll.

[mod 135640]

Plus lots of guys will only see ladies that are "Safe Everything" including CBJ and on the flip side we have seen our share of guys looking for BBFS as well (and we ask them to leave cerb when they seek this out as it puts the entire community more at risk as we all know). I think guys will seek out the lady they like that offers what they are looking for and risk level is probably a big factor for many as well.

 

I have had countless PM's over the years of guys worried about "bringing a sti/std home" it's probably the BIGGEST concern newbies have cause we all know the media over the years has grouped ALL sex workers into one big pile.

 

In my opinion the ladies online that are truly independent are so far from the "stereotype" that it's very unfair that they have to deal with these stereotypes (drugs, std's, high risk, etc...).

 

In my position I can't really give anyone direct advise but I do tell them that educating themselves on risk is important when they ask. For anyone (not only SP's and Clients) anyone who is sexually active is foolish to think 0 risk is involved unless you are monogamous and your significant other is also that way.

[Andee 220524]

As an SP who offers bbbj, I never assume a client automatically wants uncovered. I have many clients who prefer covered and I have no problem accommodating them. The fact that I offer bbbj doesn't bother them either. If someone is bothered by it, I do not take offense and refer them to a cbj only provider.

 

Also, I am assertive enough to decline bbbj if I am not comfortable for "any reason" providing it.

 

I believe there maybe some ladies who do feel pressured to offer bbbj, but it is ultimately up to the lady to decide for herself if she is comfortable.

 

Also I am sure the OP of this thread would agree with me that any reputable agency will not enforce this as a condition of working with them.

[mrgreen760 37785]

When I started in the game BBBJ was unheard of at least from my experiences. The option never came up as it really wasn't an option. Over that last few years it seems to me the game had changed. Reviews on boards refer to lack of the BBBJ option as deal-breakers and is openly discussed in more and more reviews and recommendations. There is no question that the option is now more openly offered than ever before and is also available without being openly offered and like most things ymmv. I have been the recipient of BBBJ without any discussion or request or it being listed as available services.

 

So I'm curious what's changed ? Is it just a new generation of players both SP's and customers? Was this service happening more than I ever knew and folks were more discreet previously? Has the market place become more competitve compelling more providers to offer this service publicly vs privately.

 

As I stated previously it's not a deal-breaker for me, I'm cool either way.

 

 

Peace

MG

[billybob 20128]

So I'm curious what's changed ? Is it just a new generation of players both SP's and customers? Was this service happening more than I ever knew and folks were more discreet previously? Has the market place become more competitve compelling more providers to offer this service publicly vs privately.

 

Yes it has changed and this is just an opinion but I think it has some merit.

I don't know how old you are but I'll guess that you are old enough to remember the AIDS scare in the 80's. If you were an adult during the 80's you remember how freaked out the whole world was about AIDS. At first it was considered to be a homosexual disease but as we learned later it was not. There was no cure, if you got it you died, period. You had the feeling if you didn't use a condom you could die.

 

I think people who were born in the 90's and didn't live through the AIDS scare have no clue as to the dangers of sex. Of course there are lots of other STD's that are very serious but I believe AIDS brought it to a whole different level. Now when many young men think of AIDS they think of Magic Johnson, look at him as healthy as can be so what's the big deal?

 

So I don't think this is THE reason for the change in attitudes, I do believe it's a big factor.

[Guest]

Plus lots of guys will only see ladies that are "Safe Everything" including CBJ and on the flip side we have seen our share of guys looking for BBFS as well (and we ask them to leave cerb when they seek this out as it puts the entire community more at risk as we all know). I think guys will seek out the lady they like that offers what they are looking for and risk level is probably a big factor for many as well.

 

I have had countless PM's over the years of guys worried about "bringing a sti/std home" it's probably the BIGGEST concern newbies have cause we all know the media over the years has grouped ALL sex workers into one big pile.

 

In my opinion the ladies online that are truly independent are so far from the "stereotype" that it's very unfair that they have to deal with these stereotypes (drugs, std's, high risk, etc...).

 

In my position I can't really give anyone direct advise but I do tell them that educating themselves on risk is important when they ask. For anyone (not only SP's and Clients) anyone who is sexually active is foolish to think 0 risk is involved unless you are monogamous and your significant other is also that way.

 

Here was a thread started about bbfs that turned into bbbj. This topic is always being brought up and is a concern for both sp's and clients.

 

Some of my opinions about bbbj are on this thread.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=91006

 

Here is another thread started about std's too and I'm sure there's many other threads started about std's here on cerb, from throughout the years. It is a concern and so it should be. Make sure you take care of yourself and the others your with.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=103179

[crankF 12893]

Yes it has changed and this is just an opinion but I think it has some merit.

I don't know how old you are but I'll guess that you are old enough to remember the AIDS scare in the 80's. If you were an adult during the 80's you remember how freaked out the whole world was about AIDS. At first it was considered to be a homosexual disease but as we learned later it was not. There was no cure, if you got it you died, period. You had the feeling if you didn't use a condom you could die.

 

I think people who were born in the 90's and didn't live through the AIDS scare have no clue as to the dangers of sex. Of course there are lots of other STD's that are very serious but I believe AIDS brought it to a whole different level. Now when many young men think of AIDS they think of Magic Johnson, look at him as healthy as can be so what's the big deal?

 

So I don't think this is THE reason for the change in attitudes, I do believe it's a big factor.

I have a teenage grand-nephew who's very close to me. He's been having sex for a couple years already. He told me he's only used condoms a very few times, everybody hates them. This is despite having been raised by parents who were teens in the 80's, and told about safesex all his life. This is a really studly 6ft tall athlete who starts college next fall, and is going to have pussy draped all over himself. I worry when I think of the potential danger.

[fortunateone 156618]

I have a teenage grand-nephew who's very close to me. He's been having sex for a couple years already. He told me he's only used condoms a very few times, everybody hates them. This is despite having been raised by parents who were teens in the 80's, and told about safesex all his life. This is a really studly 6ft tall athlete who starts college next fall, and is going to have pussy draped all over himself. I worry when I think of the potential danger.

 

 

The problem today too is that the highest numbers of stds are found in the 14-20 year age group. They are doing as your nephew is doing, not using condoms, then they simply pass it around. Someone may only do bjs, but with chlamydia they've passed it to someone who has sex with another, and so on and so on. And they don't get tested, because that would be an admission to parents and the family doctor they are having sex.

 

By the time he catches something that has uncomfortable symptoms, he might get a wake up call. The other wakeup call is pregnancy of course.