Smithwick 7122 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 Wondering how everyone else feels. I've only started this hobby a few months ago and only seen one companion so far, with one more on the horizon. I'm starting to find myself dwelling on CERB and the hobby. I feel like this might get to interfere with my family life. I know, this probably sounds like a load of crap. What we are doing is in essence cheating on our SO. Do we deserve privacy? If anything happens its our own fault! I've thought about it, and I've realized I'm really just trying to have my cake and eat it too. The last thing I want to have happen is to lose my family. There, I said it. Putting aside the moral implications of the hobby and how if anything happens, we've brought in on ourselves, I just want to know how other guys out there keep it real. I'm afraid that I might say something in my sleep, or let something slip while I'm drunk. I feel I may be spending too much time farting around on CERB or with my @smith_wick Twitter feed. Maybe its just a matter of controlling myself. Is this just where I'm new to the hobby? Will things calm down for me over time? I'm realizing as I write this that this is more of a vent session. Forgive me for that. But I would like to hear other's opinions on how they keep it real. Is there something I'm not doing that would help me separate my hobby life from my family life? Or honestly, am I fighting a losing battle? Can I have my cake and eat it too? 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted August 30, 2012 You are feeling guilty! It is an action that goes against what you were probably taught. It is up to you to decide what is more important your "Family" or "The Hobby". One is fantasy for an hour or too and the other is "Real". You have to decide if you can live with the decisions you have made and only you. There is a cost to the Hobby and you have to decide if you are willing to pay the "Price"! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DukeSSk 3430 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 I don't think it's a load of crap. Shame on those who would look down at you for sharing your thoughts. I'm pretty sure this is something on the minds of other gentlemen. As for myself, I'm single these days. I've got to admit that I've thought to myself "What if I were in a serious and committed relationship? With a family?", while being active on CERB and regularly seeing a lady. Hard to have concrete thoughts since that's not my situation. I'm looking forward to hearing some input from the others. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smithwick 7122 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 You are feeling guilty! It is an action that goes against what you were probably taught. It is up to you to decide what is more important your "Family" or "The Hobby". One is fantasy for an hour or too and the other is "Real". You have to decide if you can live with the decisions you have made and only you. Their is a cost to the Hobby and you have to decide if you are willing to pay the "Price"! I have thought about this. I don't think its guilt, just fear of being found out. I've more thought that its odd that I don't feel guilty. But that's neither here nor there. I feel that I can keep it secret (may be over-confidence of suppose) if I keep it subtle online. EDIT: Its the keeping it subtle that's the hard part Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gentlemanprof 615 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 I'm in pretty much in the exact same situation as you - I've had one wonderful experience with an escort back in June and have arranged for another rendezvous later in September. I've spent some time on both CERB and Twitter communicating with a number of other wonderful escorts and hobbyists. I enjoy the discussions/interactions I have had so far, but also worry about the time I'm investing in this activity. I think the key will be to find the right balance between this new aspect of life and the other things that are important to you. That's certainly what I am trying to strive for. I appreciate both the things I have (a great job and loving family) and the excitement and anticipation of meeting some of the beautiful ladies on CERB. An additional unanticipated pleasure is interacting a bit more with other hobbyists around shared experiences. All in all, I'm finding it a wonderful addition to my life that I'm sure will be seamlessly integrated into my other pursuits with time and experience. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted August 30, 2012 It is all about balance. I have had to realize I cant see every lovely lady that comes to town so I have made a decsion that works for me which will be a few encounters a year with my favorite ladies and that will be it unless I am leaving the area I reside in. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 First I'm single, so no I have no guilt :-)...just a lot of fond memories of past encounters and looking forward to upcoming encounters Now if I was in a relationship again, well I wouldn't be here. But I am not passing judgement, everyone's relationship is different, and what is right for one person may not be right for another I suppose you can always look at this lifestyle this way. If you had an affair with another woman, down the road, eventually, either your wife or the other woman, depending on who you chose, will be hurt. That is because genuine feelings come into play in affairs. But seeing a escort, the most feelings you two should ever have is liking one another, nothing more than that. And you are seeing a professional companion, the only infidelity committed is physical. There isn't the same risk of emotional infidelity, like there is in an extra marital affair. In short, seeing a escort is no strings attached companionship. And you can end seeing an escort(s) when you like, with no risk she will call your wife An affair on the other hand, they don't end so cleanly. The other woman won't take to a break up too kindly, and may call your wife. Your wife finds out, costly divorce likely. And these situations nobody lives happily ever after, or so it seems. A rambling for whatever it's worth RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted August 30, 2012 Tricky one, this. It's easy to get sucked in. To be honest, I think that getting sucked into spending a lot of time on CERB (or similar) is a serious danger and avenue to discovery. Disappearing for an hour or two every so often and keeping a bit of cash and a throw-away cellphone hidden isn't too hard, if you're careful... but disguising the fact that you're spending a lot of time on a regular basis on boards/twitter/email/etc is probably harder, especially if it's accompanied by an emotional withdrawal from your SO. And eventually you may well end up having that awkward conversation that begins, "Hey, what's that website you're always on...?" Perhaps you should also join a golf/fishing/whatever board or two and keep those open in another browser tab while you're here... So, yes... suitable caution and/or rationing may be a good idea! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
