Just curious.....

[sacha 7410]

Would you, could you, ever fall in love with an sp and accept her life style?

What if you met under different circumstances and found out at a later date how she made her living.....would you....could you?

Sacha

[Serena Blake 14066]

I defiantly wonder this. even when you do find a good man to be supportive it does still tear him up and destroy him on the inside :(

 

Is it better to tell the truth or lie :'( I was taught to tell the truth but it hurts and destroys so much

[Moviefan 1238]

I think if a sp met someone they were interested in outside of the business, it is my opinion she owes that person the truth about what she does for a living.

I think it would be totally inappropriate to allow someone to fall in love with you then drop a bombshell like that on them.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Would you, could you, ever fall in love with an sp and accept her life style?

 

I see no reason why not, although it's the sort of thing that comes under, "You'll never really know unless you try it". It's not clear to me that being a SP is inherently better or worse than being an accountant or a teacher or a politician or... whatever.

 

What if you met under different circumstances and found out at a later date how she made her living.....would you....could you?

 

That would depend. If she was up-front about it, then see above. But if we'd been together for a while and that bombshell was dropped, I'd have issues with it; not because of her occupation, but because of the dishonesty.

[TGirl-Kay 7485]

Hi sach,

Yes to both questions. I think the most important part of any relationship is honesty and communication and as long as the people involved are open about what they are up too it's all good. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who looked down on me because of the work I choose.

[Guest a**4*]

Hi Sacha good question well what was then was then and what is now is now is don't be judgemental because not everbody is perfect if both have a good connection i say yes to falling in love with that person and only time can tell if it will work and not by what others think

[Serena Blake 14066]

I believe love defiantly is out there. just because I avoid getting close to the oppisit sex due to the way I've been treated because the way other people stereotype SP's is no reason to believe that an SP is capable of being truly loved

[mrgreen760 37785]

When I was younger probably not now that I'm older and wiser to the world and life gererally, likely I could.

 

Peace

MG

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I preface this by saying I'm not looking for a relationship, in general.

I truly like the poly amorous nature of this lifestyle and have met many wonderful ladies, who I like, respect, and appreciate the escape they have provided me.

That said, under the heading never say never, if both a lady and myself clicked to the point we both had feelings for one another, feelings with a capital "F" I could get involved with a SP. My opinion, based on my experience with the SP's I've met, is that they are very special ladies, offering companionship, and are much much much more than providers of just sexual services...they do make you feel like you are with your girlfriend, a very caring girlfriend, and treat you special.

I should interject here, that the ladies irrespective of this profession are deserving of a loving caring relationship as is everyone, and should two people find true love, they should follow their hearts. True love doesn't happen everyday, and if you find it, grab it. But I must add, be careful that the feelings you have you aren't confusing because of the intimate nature of this lifestyle. Some could misconstrue the intimacy of an encounter with true feelings of love

Now should the subject come up (can't foresee it, due to my age and where I live LOL), I would never broach it. The lady, due to the nature of this lifestyle needs to ask the gentleman, otherwise how would she know whether it is a client asking for a encounter, or a guy asking her for a "civilian" date

I would, should it happen, be unashamed of the lady I am seeing, as I am now. Only discretion, more for the lady, keeps this a private compartmentalized aspect of my life. And I (if the lady is ok with this btw) would tell people where I met her.

Big stumbling block for me, I honestly don't know if I could give up this lifestyle to have a conventional monogamous relationship (yes, for me, in my relationship life, I have always been monogamous) And it would be something to work out if she continued working (not judging, not saying she has to give up her profession, but it is something that has to be, at least for me, worked out)

So short answer, yes, I could, under right circumstances, get involved with a lady

Long answer, don't see it happening, and it is a relationship that has issues, for lack of a better word to be worked out.

Finally, and I find it amusing actually, it's not a put down on anyone, because this subject has been brought up before, but the questions about a client getting involved with a SP come up time and again. I don't think people would go to eHarmony talking about escorts, why posts on CERB about relationships with SP/Clients...definitely though, said with a smile on my face.

A long winded rambling from a happy single middle aged guy who enjoys this lifestyle

RG

[Athos 108589]

Well, I have several ladies in mind right now where the answer would be: yes, in a heartbeat! :icon_biggrin:

 

Of course it's not going to happen, but in a completely different set of circumstances I could certainly imagine it.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

Well, I have several ladies in mind right now where the answer would be: yes, in a heartbeat! :icon_biggrin:

 

Of course it's not going to happen, but in a completely different set of circumstances I could certainly imagine it.

 

 

But it is nice to have an open mind!

[Serena Blake 14066]

Now if we are talking about an SP/client relationship, Many people may have different views on this.

To me personally it is a business relationship. Not saying it is right or wrong for anyone or that it couldn't workout between two loving people. But a customer is a customer to me whether I meet them as an SP or if I sell them a laptop at Futureshop. You don't poop where you eat lol.

[TGirl-Kay 7485]

Hi again, this thread just won't leave my brain and I need to write about it a little. I find it interesting how the idea of monogamy is so tied to our views on relationship and how an SPs work is seen as a life style by so many.

Many of us where only give one example of how a relationship has to be conducted, it starts early in childhood and is reinforsed through out our lives. We see it in kids shows and toys, we see it in teen movies and music and it's the theme of much grown up entertainment. Not to mention, church teachings and government policy.

We are rewarded for creating monogamous family units, yet so often we stray from them or leave them entirely to creat new ones.

I have heard many hobbyists say that they are monogamous when in a relationship and if they where in a relationship with an SP that is some thing that they would have to work out. This sounds a lot like saying she'd have to stop working or change the work she does.

I'm struck by the possessive nature of relationship and love and wonder how we came to this point.

I love alot, I love my friends, I feel love for my clients and I'm deeply in love with both of my life partners. I build relationships with all of these people and I have sex with many of them. Openness and polyamory are life style choises I've made for my self. Working as an SP is a job that I enjoy.

[BarrhavenWoody 10776]

Would you, could you, ever fall in love with an sp and accept her life style?

Sacha

 

Two questions here actually. 1. Would/could I fall in love with an SP? Yes, definitely. I've met some wonderful SPs that I truly like, admire, respect and enjoy spending time with. I could definitely see myself falling in love. In the past I have dated a few dancers and fell in love with one of them. I had (almost) no problems with her chosen career.

 

Question 2: Could I accept her lifestyle/job? Much tougher to say. I think so, but there would likely be a few issues to deal with and get over (that is, I would have to get over it). As November said, our society puts a lot of emphasis on monogamy in relationships. Even though I am fairly open minded and trusting, deep down I would likely have a few reservations. Could I deal with this or would I be overcome by jealousy? I like to think I am mature and evolved enough to accept my partners lifestyle, but until I was really in the situation I can't say for sure.

 

One of the other things that I struggle with is other people's reactions and opinions. What would my friends and family think of my choice of gf? I know it really shouldn't matter, but ...

[roamingguy 300292]

Hi again, this thread just won't leave my brain and I need to write about it a little. I find it interesting how the idea of monogamy is so tied to our views on relationship and how an SPs work is seen as a life style by so many.

Many of us where only give one example of how a relationship has to be conducted, it starts early in childhood and is reinforsed through out our lives. We see it in kids shows and toys, we see it in teen movies and music and it's the theme of much grown up entertainment. Not to mention, church teachings and government policy.

We are rewarded for creating monogamous family units, yet so often we stray from them or leave them entirely to creat new ones.

I have heard many hobbyists say that they are monogamous when in a relationship and if they where in a relationship with an SP that is some thing that they would have to work out. This sounds a lot like saying she'd have to stop working or change the work she does.

I'm struck by the possessive nature of relationship and love and wonder how we came to this point.

I love alot, I love my friends, I feel love for my clients and I'm deeply in love with both of my life partners. I build relationships with all of these people and I have sex with many of them. Openness and polyamory are life style choises I've made for my self. Working as an SP is a job that I enjoy.

 

Well I've said if in a relationship with an SP the issue (yes bad choice of words but best I can think of) her being an SP versus monogamy would have to be worked out. By worked out, I need to work that out

I know and have learned since embarking on this lifestyle that for the ladies, being an escort is their profession, their livelihood. When an SP sees a gentleman, she is seeing him as a paid companion, not seeing him as his girlfriend. In my head I have no issues with being involved with an escort and she continue as an escort...it is her profession, her livelihood. But in my heart, would I be able to accept her continuing as an escort. I don't know. That would be what I need to work out if indeed a SP and myself fell in love.

I was raised to believe in monogamy. In all my relationships I was monogamous and faithful and I don't apologize for that for one minute, nor should anyone expect someone to just throw away a lifetime of beliefs, in my case fifty one years of that belief. Just can't throw it away. But conversely (and ironically), one aspect of this lifestyle I've enjoyed and embraced is it's poly amorous nature. And I don't know if I could go back to a conventional relationship now, after enjoying, and continue to enjoy this lifestyle's poly amorous nature. So that would be something else to work out. Could both a lady and myself have a happy relationship, she continuing with being a SP, and me, could I and would I continue in this lifestyle, or give it up and be monogamous. And would she be accepting of me continuing in this lifestyle if that is what I wanted.

But these questions to be worked out are for all intention, hypothetical for me. Not only the age difference between me and most of the ladies makes the issue of a relationship moot, I live in smalltown Ontario, and due to my profession, I can't relocate. Realistically, living apart long distance well could the relationship stand those strains too.

Some ramblings

RG

[mrrnice2 157005]

For me I believe that the answer would be an unqualified yes.

 

I can say with certainty that years ago when I was younger and far more insecure that the answer would have been an unqualified no. At that time, the concept of monogamy was deeply ingrained and sad to say as well, I would have had a hefty dose of possessiveness.

 

Today, with me being a new me, I believe that I could fall in love with someone who is an SP and that would include fully supporting her choices. THAT is a very significant and personally enlightening feeling to have.

 

I have given much time to personal questioning on the topic of polyamourism, and as time has gone by I have accepted it as a viable and reasonable choice should one wish to make it.

 

I was going to say that I would be committed to that choice, but therein lays the underlying Catch-22 I believe. My sense is that those who embrace polyamourism are far to willing to simply 'move along' rather than stay and work on that relationship. I am still trying to work that one out in my head. I expect that Novenmber will weigh in on that statement. :)

 

That all being said, on a personal note I cannot see myself in another relationship of any romantic nature. Friends and GOOD friends, both in and out of Cerb have become very important to me and for that I am ever so thankful.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Yup

 

The right timing and the right lady I can't see why not. Who knows maybe my soul mate is an SP ;)

 

If you can see past the sex/job/friendship with clients part of the equation.... anything is possible.

 

 

A happy relationship with an SP who enjoys her job but more so enjoys a happy home life and being home with her man in a real and true relationship.

 

versus

 

A semi-happy or comatose white picket fence monogamous relationship.

 

Although not encouraging it....anything is possible IMO.

[manofsteel 100]

I would rather know up front. Honesty and trust is what a relationship is built on and if I found out a girl I was dating for awhile was an SP and had been misleading me I'd be royally pissed of. Knowing up front is a totally different scenario.

[billybob 20128]

Now if we are talking about an SP/client relationship, Many people may have different views on this.

To me personally it is a business relationship. Not saying it is right or wrong for anyone or that it couldn't workout between two loving people. But a customer is a customer to me whether I meet them as an SP or if I sell them a laptop at Futureshop. You don't poop where you eat lol.

 

Don't poop where you eat :D

[Lowdark 5613]

Far from being an expert on the issue, I have couple of thoughts rattling around my brain on the issue. If a gentleman and a lady meet through the business, and chemistry develops, genuine physical and emotional chemistry, then I don't see why not. There'd still be some wrinkles they'd have to iron out (personal time, does he still see SPs, etc.) but I think if two, reasonable, consenting adults were determined, they could make it work.

 

Having said that, the reason I belong to CERB is for companionship, and I have had the privilege of meeting some extraordinary people (and forged a very valuable friendship). But if I were to meet the one (assuming she's out there somewhere), would I want to share her with someone else? Greedy and selfish I know, and I'd like to think I could rise above that kind of thinking, but the problem with questions like this is trying to apply logic to very emotional issues. In the end, it depends on how strong the bond would be, and maybe what one person would be willing to give up or accept for the other.

[stevecurious 42059]

Would you, could you, ever fall in love with an sp and accept her life style?

What if you met under different circumstances and found out at a later date how she made her living.....would you....could you?

Sacha

 

Sacha, I could not and would not presume to speak for anyone else but speaking only for myself the answer is a resounding YES to all of your questions.

 

I believe that if (I will say your here) your partner is open minded and not prone to judging a book by its cover or how society would portray such a book then yes it is not out of the realm of possibility. We are all human and the heart wants what the heart wants, call it romanticism if you will but love can be found in places that you wouldn't ordinarily think of.

 

Personally I would accept her and her lifestyle just as I would if she were a lawyer or a cashier. The profession does not make the person and should not be held against that person. If their is a spark I say let it grow and tell him honestly what your profession is. Yes, it might come as a shock but best to know sooner than later as it might come across as though you were attempting to conceal something.

 

No one will know as much about this situation as you would so use your own judgement and be honest but not apologetic when dealing with this topic. If things are meant to be then there won't be an issue at all.

[sacha 7410]

It is not me that I am wondering about. I have no desire to ever be in another relationship. To tell you the truth, you gentlemen of CERB provide me with all I need in that area. However, I am not 19, 20, 21....etc. I know that when I was that age that was what I was looking for.... and found it (for a short time anyway). As I said I was just curious and as usual there is never a dull moment on this board! Lol. Sacha

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Would you, could you, ever fall in love with an sp and accept her life style?

What if you met under different circumstances and found out at a later date how she made her living.....would you....could you?

Sacha

 

Yes, if I love her and she loves me. You want to be with the people you love.

[sacha 7410]

You are a romantic, even though your quote comes from a tragedy.... lol

[NotchJohnson 214123]

If and when love finds you/you find it, it does not matter what you/she are doing for living you just accept it and live your life with that person. Its the same thing as a white male/ black female or any ethnicity you are.

Love is simply love.