what not to ask an sp?

[Victoria Banks 21899]

Does the rule of etiquette regarding not asking an SP personal questions still apply if she has asked you the same questions and you have answered her questions? For example, here are some questions I have been asked at a first meeting:

 

What part of town do you live in?

Are you married?

Do you have kids?

How often do you and your wife do it?

What other girls have you seen?

 

I understand that some questions are NOT reciprocal. For example, if she asks me why I chose my field, I still cannot ask her why she became an escort. However, what about the examples I gave above. Is it OK to ask her the same questions after she asks me? And if she asks me what other girls have you seen, is it OK to talk about them?

 

How often do you and your wife do it?

Why would someone ask that I think its rather ignorant lol..

 

I don't think name dropping is a good idea either.

I just don't, something tells me it is not a good idea.

What do you think?

[RobX 2084]

How often do you and your wife do it?

Why would someone ask that I think its rather ignorant lol..

 

I don't think name dropping is a good idea either.

I just don't, something tells me it is not a good idea.

 

I should probably qualify/expand upon the info in my post. I was asked "How often do you and your wife do it?" not during the conversation at the beginning of the session, but rather during the main act, and I got the impression that she was trying to add to the eroticism of the moment by bringing in the taboo element of cheating. Either it turned her on, or she felt it would turn me on. I don't think she did anything wrong, and I certainly don't think of her as being "ignorant". (Sin_Cindy: Please don't take this as a rebuke for describing her actions as ignorant. I don't mean it that way at all, and I apologize If it sounds that way. It is probably my fault for not describing the full context of the conversation in my original post. I just wanted to point out that I don't think she did anything wrong, and it her question did not bother me in the least)

 

With respect to name dropping, the other girls we talked about were girls that she knew. We talked mostly about her duo partner. What is funny is that when I was with her duo partner we talked a lot about her :-).

 

I'm not sure whether any of this additional info changes anything, but I thought it was important that I provide the clarification.

[Andee 220524]

Why don't you have a real job?

 

Have you ever held a real job?

 

What does your family think about what you do?

 

Don't you want to meet a nice guy and settle down one day?

 

Do you pay income tax?

 

What will it cost me for you not to use the condom?

 

It's my birthday - don't I get it for free?

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I hate any type of discussion surrounding his assumptions of my personal life. You do not know me or my lifestyle. I am proud of myself and all of the accomplishments I have made during my life. I can't understand why so many men feel that we are just poor, downtrodden, lowly hookers!

[Old Dog 179138]

If I may weigh in with my two cents....

 

The conversations that you share and the questions you ask are entirely dependent on the level of comfort you hold.

 

I have both wonderful and intimate sessions that have included a great many questions... in fact, I probably know more about my "regular" than I do many of my friends and she knows much of my life. It's not judgmental or an interrogation, it is sharing information with someone with whom you have a bond.

 

That being said, it does take a great deal of time to build up that level of trust and certainly the conversations we have now are far more profound than we had when we first met.

 

Okay, that was about six cents worth, but I do prattle on....

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I was reading this thread and it seemed new to me.. until I saw some of my own posts which I didn't even remember writing! Then I realized it was a year old! Too funny.

 

Asking personal questions is like any encounter. Does the person being asked mind?

If you think it might be too personal.. use that caveat to ask the question.

 

ie. If this is too personal and you'd rather not answer.. no pressure but.. I was wondering... dot dot dot?

 

I'm pretty much of an open book but wasn't always with clients. On the flip side I do not normally ask anything too personal of a client unless it comes up in conversation.

 

Sometimes guys unburdon themselves in an enounter because they feel frankly that they can't talk to anyone else about an issue in their lives.

 

If I ask what do you do? you can always do what I do when I'm not prepared to answer the question in my life. I tell a white lie.

 

ie. I work from home handling clerical work on the computer.. it's kind of true and boring sounding enough that no-one has any follow-up questions.

[Andee 220524]

IThat being said, it does take a great deal of time to build up that level of trust and certainly the conversations we have now are far more profound than we had when we first met.

 

That's the ticket...With some, sometimes, sooner, others, longer, some, not at all. I call it "chemistry of the mind".

[Carrie Moon 68826]

just received this in my email.. thought maybe it was a joke from someone on this thread. Believe it or not this was his first contact.

 

hello,

do u live alone?

do u have a boyfriend?

do u live in a house or apmt?

r rates negotiable?

I did respond with. ''I'm in a house. The other questions I'm not answering.''

yeesh..

[drlove 37204]

Stay away from asking personal questions. In my experience, I've found that as you cultivate the SP/client relationship over the course of many appointments, the ladies tend to let you into their lives a bit anyway and volunteer info. In fact, I've learned a great deal from regulars simply by keeping my mouth shut! *lol* In all seriousness though, I take it as a compliment that a lady felt comfortable enough with me to do that.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

do u live alone?

I've gotten this and it scares me.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

The absolute critical thing you must never ask is "Will you do bareback full service".

 

That's plain dumb and will get you shown the door. Guaranteed.

 

Try the best way to catch AIDS: Do you do bareback Greek???

That's a slap in the face right there...

[Annessa 22743]

Try the best way to catch AIDS: Do you do bareback Greek???

That's a slap in the face right there...

 

BB greek or BBFS are both equally unwise ways to acquire AIDS.

 

re personal questions: if any gent is considering asking personal questions think about how you would feel if your SP turned to you and asked you where you worked, what your salary was, the names and ages of your children, what your relationship is with your daddy, if you have ever been on drugs and asked you to tell her about what it was that made you fall in love with your wife and ask why you felt the need to have sex with a stranger instead of her... all in one sentence while you both were beaming in the afterglow of the great sex you just had...

 

I think most people will get the point here

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

BB greek or BBFS are both equally unwise ways to acquire AIDS.

My understanding was that BB Greek was more risky because the vagina is naturally lubricated, but the asshole is not as tears are more likely to occur during anal sex.

[Annessa 22743]

My understanding was that BB Greek was more risky because the vagina is naturally lubricated' date=' but the asshole is not as tears are more likely to occur during anal sex.[/quote']

 

gotcha...in the end BB anything is just not cool

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

gotcha...in the end BB anything is just not cool

 

 

LOL "in the end" made me laugh, but seriously folks bb anything has it's associated risks but requesting greek or full service bb will as others have mention have you shut down right away. It's just plain rude and really disrespectful to the lady you are with.

 

The best rule of thumb is to stay clear of personal questions especially upon that first meeting and just explore the fantasy of the encounter, perhaps if their is more chemistry and you two click then some of the personal barriers may begin to fall to the way side.

[Annessa 22743]

LOL "in the end" made me laugh.

 

oy...*smacks forhed*..lol..pun not intended ;-)

[SPANISHDREAM69 100]

trust me i have had plenty of johns and toms and tonys

 

:smile:

 

Why ask personal questions? Do you want them to know about your personal life?

 

I think the First name is a good thing to know though as ALL SP's demand to know our names. What would an SP say if us hobby's gave you a fake name?

 

Apex

[Amanda Bella 421]

:wink:I wish the gents who visite me would only ask me

questions that they are confortable answering thenselves.

 

Does that make sense?

[Reese 253]

I'm not certain why some clients would feel it's appropriate to ask such personal questions. A misconception that an intimate physical encounter also includes or permits intimate details revealed? I imagine sometimes it may just be innocent attempts at an icebreaker, but either way, very understandable to be unwanted and awkward to an SP, MP or dancer.

 

I've had a surprising number of ladies in previously mentioned professions share personal and intimate details of themselves. Whether whatever percentage of these facts and reasons for offering them were 100% accurate is your guess, as well.

I find anyone would likely come to feel more at ease in sharing if not probed, or questionned directly.

I fully respect, understand and share the need for personal privacy.

If anyone wishes to divulge, time and their personal comfort level will decide.

 

Upon an initial encounter, i'm about as steely-nerved as a cat crossing a highway, so i'll sometimes ask how her summer is going, if she's vacationed anywhere interesting recently...etc.. Fairly benign. I'm genuinely curious, since i'm not a frequent traveller, myself.

Also trying too hard sometimes perhaps, in steering away from the likely often repeated : "Cool! Where'd you buy those stilettos?" or some other mundane inquiry.

I'll admit I enjoy hearing of a pleasant holiday experience and seeing the joy of the memory come across her face. An innocent little fact that adds just a little intimacy and lessens the business aspect.

.....and a little time or interval afforded to bring that heart rate down below that of a hummingbird's !

[Andee 220524]

How many clients have you seen today?

 

How many clients a week do you normally see?

 

Have you ever had kids?

 

Does your family know what you do?

 

Now that I've told you my real name, what's yours?

 

Did you really cum or did you fake it?

 

I noticed you're friends with Carrie Moon's - are those breasts real?

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I was supposed to meet this guy recently and couldn't make it so he was referred to another SP friend of mine. Apparently he kept asking questions about me while he was with her, asked her what else she did for a living,etc. Here's the lo blow... Then he asked if we were all related and if the lady ( who is a more mature woman) who owns the incall location and happened to give him directions on the phone that day was our "mommy"!! He seemed to get off on that whole idea. While I feel bad that the other SP had to endure this, I'm glad I never ended up meeting him. What a sicko!!

[Guest s******ecan****]

I was supposed to meet this guy recently and couldn't make it so he was referred to another SP friend of mine. Apparently he kept asking questions about me while he was with her, asked her what else she did for a living,etc. Here's the lo blow... Then he asked if we were all related and if the lady ( who is a more mature woman) who owns the incall location and happened to give him directions on the phone that day was our "mommy"!! He seemed to get off on that whole idea. While I feel bad that the other SP had to endure this, I'm glad I never ended up meeting him. What a sicko!!

 

That is creepy

[Dorinda Bloom 44036]

Well, a lot has been said on this, but here is what I do not enjoy being asked....

 

-Did you cum?

-How many guys do you see in a day?

-Do you have any diseases?

-What's you're real name?

-Are you unhappy; why are you doing this?

-So....how much money do you make?

-Do you have a bf/are you married?

 

That's all so far (hopefully that's it). Hmmm, I wonder what kind of things I have said and asked in my imperfect humanity that has left others sitting uncomfortably. I'm a firm believer in communicating....let me know, it's how I learn for next time - it's how I get better with intimacy and inquisitive questioning.

* Above all else I truly believe we must be forgiving and accepting (in a SAFE way) as we are all human and to be human is to err. :!:

[masterowls 249]

Ok i was always wondering about what others though or others opinions where about what not to ask an sp? or maybe what to ask an sp is a better question. It seems that some sp's find something different then others so what is your thoughs and opinions on this?

A good rule of thumb here, is, "I''f I were an sp, would I feel safe/happy answering that? " Try to remember especially at first, for all the SP knows, you could be some creepy stalker guy. If you wouldn't feel comfortable giving the info to a total stranger, don't ask an SP you just met. Good topics:1. Favorite music... 2 . Favoriite Wine, Victoria secret or La Senza, and what size... ? 4. Do you have the latest Ipod? 5. (And this always breaks the ice well) I just heard a funny joke, would you like to hear it?

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Another question I was once asked recently... why was I only one of the rare few that one was charging $250/hr while all other SPs were charging $200/hour? Al while in an intimate position. WTF?? My response to him was that obviously he was out of touch with what other escorts were charging and that he should pay more attention to other sites rather than just CL. I also mentioned that if they were charging a lower rate then they might try to upsell when clients arrive or not even give them a full hour. $250/hr is not uncommon. Sure there are others offering lower but I couldn't believe it. He wasn't haggling me about my rate but most know that I have been around for a while now and it has always been $250/hr.

 

 

And then of course, he proceeded to ask other questions and by this time I was really annoyed and just said that I'm not into discussing my personal business at a time like this. He backed off and apologized but come on, don't people realize this is a mood killer? So my for advice to those who are ignorant about this... if you want a good session with an SP, don't ruin it with these kinds of questions. You will either be told to mind your business or be told bs by SPs and they will think you're an idiot for asking. The guy above is off my repeat list even though he wanted and has contacted me to see me again.

 

Sorry but this makes me very mad which is why I cut them off as soon as they ask it. There is a way to be friendly with SPs while not having to get personal. We as SPs would be told off if we asked these sorts of questions and I really don't care to know if you're married, children, etc, etc. It's none of my business and I expect the same in return. Just keep it light with general conversation and you will be fine. Over time if you get to know an SP, maybe you can exchange a few harmless personal details.