What do you do if you are not attracted

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Well, it has happened to me quite a few times in the past (and may happen again) that a lady with beautiful pictures arrived and even though the pictures were hers but only the photographer needed credits for that not the ladies in the pictures .

 

I must say these are isolated cases and I have had between 50 to 75 girls since I started hobbying and less than 10% of that have been like this with me realizing that I have little or no physical attraction upon her arrival. I do realize that is could happen to SPs too and I suspect the frequency of which would be a lot higher than 10%, but most of them will go ahead with the date and likely pretending that they are having a wonderful time.

 

What I did in all cases I went ahead with the date and trying hard to enjoy my paid time and even pretend that I have strong physical attraction and havng real fun, but the question is what would you do? Would you do what I have done, or would you cancel the date or would you negotiate a shorter engagement or another option. Please note that I am not talking about B & S here. Please also note looks are subjective. Someone who may not have appealed to me may score perfect 10 with another as we all have difference tastes in ladies.

[The General 11309]

I have not had too many encounters, but on one or two occasions, this has happened. Sometimes it is not just the physical attraction, it might be the general attitude or lack of receptiveness of the sp.

 

I, like you, went ahead to the date. I feel that a commitment is a commitment, unless of course there was some deceipt involved.

 

In the end, was not a very rewarding experience, but I guess some times it is the chase, not the capture that is the element of excitment

[capitalman 3861]

This has happened to me. A few times I've gone ahead with the date, hoping for the best. Usually I wish I hadn't though.

 

Lately I'm trying a new approach. Politely I say, "I'm sorry, but I've changed my mind. I'm just not into <blank>." and then I've given the girl maybe 40 or 60 bucks and left.

 

<blank> is whatever you want, the smell of pot, the fact that she has a moustache, trashy place, whatever.

 

I think this is more than fair and respectful and I see nothing wrong with it, especially if the girl has falsely advertised.

[Redseductress 9358]

As a SP I personally would prefer that the client was honest with me right from the start and just respectfully tell me that there is no physical attratction rather then forcing one. I would respect that see him out and go on with my day. I really believe both individuals should be completly happy if one is not then its better to go your own seperate ways.

 

I have had this happen to me once when I first started out and was still working on getting back in shape, the guy polietly told me he thought by my pictures I was smaller. Ever since then I have made sure my pictures show off all angles of my body.

[capitalman 3861]

I'd like to add that sometimes you need to be with someone for a hour or whatever before you can really decide how you feel about them.....so you can't just go leaving every date you make because the SP isn't exactly what you wanted!

[Guest Ou**or**n]

This has happened to me but only in a minor way. By that I mean I arrive and the attraction just isn't very strong. Its as SA says, the photographer should be getting the most credit.

 

Now I tend to be one who puts in a reasonable degree of research before seeing a lady. I checkout her pics on cerb, her website or her agencies web site. If I've chosen her its because at least on some level I'm attracted to her.

 

When the lack of attraction wasn't there, I've always gone ahead and gone through with it. That part isn't impossible, I'm sure many ladies here to it all the time. The shoe is just on the other foot for a change. If it was pure b&s I would walk, and if felt it was not b&s, but still somewhat deceptive, I'd do as Capitalman does and cancel but give a basic tip. Sometimes her attitude or abilities turn me around, sometimes I've felt I've completely wasted my time and money.

 

This is also why I don't see girls off CL who only post one bad pic and a description. Even if the pic is real it can be hard to tell if the attraction is going to be there because it could be a pic from her best side. I'm even more mystified by the ads that basically just show an ass. To see a lady based on that type of pic is like playing craps.

 

Facial looks are also very important to me and very few ladies post pics with their faces. That's we I depend on reviews and thank all those here that take the time to post their recommendations. Without sites like this I honestly don't know if I would of ever gotten into this hobby.

[buggernot 588]

I do my research as well, I am very cautious about who I will be seeing. And it isn't solely about looks, the mental aspect is paramount. Unless the SP is rude or inconsiderate, I will continue with the date as I would with anyone else.

 

I couldn't turn a girl away because she wasn't pretty enough. Maybe I could be tactful and come up with a way to explain why I wasn't interested, whether it be sweetly honest or a bullshit story, but I'm not sure I could completely hide my disappointment. It's not easy for these girls to do this work at times and I know some could handle it, but I can't imagine how it must feel to be rejected like that. I wouldn't want to be the source of any neurotic grief, it's not worth me saving a couple of bucks.

 

Just imagine a girl coming to your door for a call, giving you a once over, and telling you, "No way honey, don't matter how much you give me!" I know it's not the same, we're paying for a service and I'll wager a guess and say that most of these girls are better looking than we are. But there's a human factor here for me and turning a girl away is not something I can do.

 

Bait and switch is a different matter, and if she's a bitch...sayonara baby! And ok, if she looks like the Elephant Man - that's something else altogether. I think I would find it my duty to explain to her that maybe she's in the wrong line of work....

[spud271 47779]

I never really make a rash decision on how I feel about an SP when I or they, first walk in the door. I totally agree with Capitalman, you need at least an hour to decide how you feel and if there is any chemistry between you. I have been with some drop dead gorgeous women who have bored the crap out of me! It's not about looks, it's about personality, that's what makes the time you spend together worth while.

 

Bait and switch is a whole other matter. Like many other members, I have zero tolerance for and very quickly show the lady the door, or if it is an incall, I just leave. I did have a pimp, or boyfriend, not sure who they were once try and stop me from leaving the girl's place. Poor guy never knew what hit him! HAHAHA! B&S is just something I won't put up with!

[kih 458]

Well, it has happened to me quite a few times in the past (and may happen again) that a lady with beautiful pictures arrived and even though the pictures were hers but only the photographer needed credits for that not the ladies in the pictures .

 

I must say these are isolated cases and I have had between 50 to 75 girls since I started hobbying and less than 10% of that have been like this with me realizing that I have little or no physical attraction upon her arrival. I do realize that is could happen to SPs too and I suspect the frequency of which would be a lot higher than 10%, but most of them will go ahead with the date and likely pretending that they are having a wonderful time.

 

What I did in all cases I went ahead with the date and trying hard to enjoy my paid time and even pretend that I have strong physical attraction and having real fun, but the question is what would you do? Would you do what I have done, or would you cancel the date or would you negotiate a shorter engagement or another option. Please note that I am not talking about B & S here. Please also note looks are subjective. Someone who may not have appealed to me may score perfect 10 with another as we all have difference tastes in ladies.

 

SA,

 

I've had that happen to me. It wasn't Bait and Switch, but I just couldn't connect with the gal. It wasn't about looks but personality. She just wasn't my type and perhaps I wasn't her type either. I was a gentlemen and Honorable and followed through with the appointment as I was already there.

 

This has happened to me. A few times I've gone ahead with the date, hoping for the best. Usually I wish I hadn't though.

 

Lately I'm trying a new approach. Politely I say, "I'm sorry, but I've changed my mind. I'm just not into <blank>." and then I've given the girl maybe 40 or 60 bucks and left.

 

<blank> is whatever you want, the smell of pot, the fact that she has a mustache, trashy place, whatever.

 

I think this is more than fair and respectful and I see nothing wrong with, especially if the girl has falsely advertised.

 

Hey Cap,

 

Have to watch for the ladies with mustaches... LOL -- I have to agree with your approach.

 

I never really make a rash decision on how I feel about an SP when I or they, first walk in the door. I totally agree with Capitalman, you need at least an hour to decide how you feel and if there is any chemistry between you. I have been with some drop dead gorgeous women who have bored the crap out of me! It's not about looks, it's about personality, that's what makes the time you spend together worth while.

 

Bait and switch is a whole other matter. Like many other members, I have zero tolerance for and very quickly show the lady the door, or if it is an in call, I just leave. I did have a pimp, or boyfriend, not sure who they were once try and stop me from leaving the girl's place. Poor guy never knew what hit him! HAHAHA! B&S is just something I won't put up with!

 

Spud,

 

I agree its very difficult to determine how the date will go on the spur of a moment. Takes a bit of time. Bait and switch is a whole different scenario. I did have a B and S (Out call). The lady that arrived was totally different than picture and advertisement at CL and verbal description given over the phone.

 

Nonetheless, she was acceptable appearance wise so I followed through with the date. In hindsight, I guess I didn't want to make a scene at the Hotel and followed through. However, I think I would handle it differently and not follow through as I realize now it just promotes B and S conduct.

 

I definitely agree with giving a payment if you make the choice to leave. She booked her time hoping to make the full rate with you, and she more than likely spent time chatting with you or on the phone too, so she deserves to be compensated in some form because she is losing out on money from time spent on setting up the meeting or the possibility that she could have scheduled someone else during this time.

 

Cumquat,

 

I have to agree. Making some sort of monetary restitution in lieu is the honourable thing to do unless it is Bait and Switch with fake pics.

[spud271 47779]

As usual KIH, a very thoughtful and insightful response to this thread. I agree with you on all points that you mentioned.

[kih 458]

Thanks Spud.

 

I'm just happy to be a member of Cerb community and contribute when I can to collaborative discusions. We learn from each other by sharing information and thoughts.

[capitalman 3861]

One time I rented a nice hotel and invited a special lady I know over for an appointment. I had seen her many times before. She showed up very upset about something that had happened to her..something trivial if you ask me. I tried to console her but it was no use. She was angry, selfish and totally unhappy and not pleasant to be around.

 

Given that I had just spent about $160 on a nice room I tried to get her into a better mood, but no way. She said she was going to leave. Our agreed upon donation was on the table, so I said:

 

"If you leave, that money stays here...you don't get to have it" I was really horny and wanted her to stay and get happier.

 

Well her eyes lit up and she decided to stay. Unfortunately, it was a lousy session and in hindsight I should have told her to leave and kept my money, chaulking the hotel room down as a loss!

 

I saw her once after that and things changed between us...again it was a bad session and I haven't seen her since.

[YoungStud 468]

Excellent post, Capman. Sometimes you just have to let it go and accept the losses. Easier in the long run, but always harder to do.

 

Always hard to judge too, when you have a hard-on, how upset someone else is. Best just to take her word about how she feels. She probably knows better about that than either of us.

[Annessa 22743]

I have to agree. Making some sort of monetary restitution in lieu is the honourable thing to do unless it is Bait and Switch with fake pics.

 

as an SP on the boards who is nothing but honest with her photos and pre-call communication I would much rather a client be honest with me from the get-go that i was not his type. The worst thing in the world is having a call with a client, being yourself and thinking its going well but having a client fake or force their enjoyment....then hearing in a review that you were totally not their cup of tea or had a repulsive physique and hearing that there were PMs about their lack of connection etc to other members when they asked.

 

Not everyone is going to connect and not everyone is looking for a 'sunshine girl'...and despite what some may think, most of us classy ladies actually try DAMN hard to make sure we leave the client pleased. we take our jobs VERY seriously and are there for YOU...if you try and force a connection and then are displeased, you only have yourself to blame, and us SPs should not have to get the flack for it if we did everything in our power to make sure you had a good time (despite your lack of attraction)....if you don't connect or aren't attracted to us based on personality but didn't try to see past pictures when booking.....sorry dude, not our fault. honesty goes a LONG way.

 

cut it short...even if the clothes are off....save us some time and our DIGNITY before posting it publicly or to other members minus YMMV in PMs, but at the time of your honest unsatisfation, compensate us a little.....in the long run, its not asking much, SA....believe me, you not only save an SP from a one-sided reputation, but you also save yourself from a certain reputation as someone who wastes someone else's valuable time in search of a forced release.

[Apex2006 1071]

as an SP on the boards who is nothing but honest with her photos and pre-call communication I would much rather a client be honest with me from the get-go that i was not his type. The worst thing in the world is having a call with a client, being yourself and thinking its going well but having a client fake or force their enjoyment....then hearing in a review that you were totally not their cup of tea or had a repulsive physique and hearing that there were PMs about their lack of connection etc to other members when they asked.

 

Not everyone is going to connect and not everyone is looking for a 'sunshine girl'...and despite what some may think, most of us classy ladies actually try DAMN hard to make sure we leave the client pleased. we take our jobs VERY seriously and are there for YOU...if you try and force a connection and then are displeased, you only have yourself to blame, and us SPs should not have to get the flack for it if we did everything in our power to make sure you had a good time (despite your lack of attraction)....if you don't connect or aren't attracted to us based on personality but didn't try to see past pictures when booking.....sorry dude, not our fault. honesty goes a LONG way.

 

cut it short...even if the clothes are off....save us some time and our DIGNITY before posting it publicly or to other members minus YMMV in PMs, but at the time of your honest unsatisfation, compensate us a little.....in the long run, its not asking much, SA....believe me, you not only save an SP from a one-sided reputation, but you also save yourself from a certain reputation as someone who wastes someone else's valuable time in search of a forced release.

 

 

I must agree! Guys, if you are not happy with the lady(s), let them know. You all know that we exchange opinions here and chat about the all of the SP's one way or an other. Therefore if you are unhappiness with her apperance or personality, tell them. I know some photos can be miss leading, but if you are truly unhappy you will only damage the SP's reputation!

 

The greates thing about this site, is that we have a chance to comunicate with some of the SP's before we see them so you can get a feeling of the personality. As for the pics, I guss that we should let that up to the SP's to make sure that they are not miss leading! If a Hobbiest arrives to an appointment, and the body is not like the photo, we all know quickly!

 

Apex

[VedaSloan 119179]

I had it happen to me once. I wasn't his type and he let me know politely. I wasn't offended in any way (different strokes for different folks, as they say) and he left my full fee, which was more than generous.

 

I can only hope if it should happen again that the client is as polite.

[digital 100]

This happened to me, when she got undressed she smelled real bad, i mean super bad and she had a terrible look on her face like she did not want to be there. I endured the experience to be nice, however left totally disgusted, if that ever happend again i would walk no questions asked, it left a terrible memory and that is NOT what i wanted to pay for.

[wet_dreamz 104]

I only had it happen to me on one occasion as it was a long time ago and I went to an incall blind. We had talked on the phone and she did provide me with a description and she was very pleasant/polite. I arrived and quickly discovered there was no physical attraction for her (there was nothing wrong with her and she was a nice lady), however I stayed with her for the hour and we had a pleasant, intelligent convesation for which I paid the regular donation up front as usual. She did try her best and she was very understanding as I was very tactful in my explanation. We were both mature enough to recognize this does happen (on both parts). I'm of the view that if I make a commitment, I honour it. After all, we pay for and SP's time only and anything that happens occurs between two consenting adults, right?

[Guest Ou**or**n]

While I agree with your basic statement I disagree about the 'money for time'. Much of that wording is used by SP's copying what they read from US ladies. Up here outcall prostitution is fully legal and its silly to dance around what the time and money are truly for. Discussing sex for money in private is perfectly legal as is paying for sex and we all know that is exactly why we meet the ladies.

[wet_dreamz 104]

While I agree with your basic statement I disagree about the 'money for time'. Much of that wording is used by SP's copying what they read from US ladies. Up here outcall prostitution is fully legal and its silly to dance around what the time and money are truly for. Discussing sex for money in private is perfectly legal as is paying for sex and we all know that is exactly why we meet the ladies.

 

I realize that...I was reflecting in jest that which is commonly stated on various SP's websites. I'm not being silly and dancing around anything...please give me more credit than that.

[antlerman 17064]

I realize that...I was reflecting in jest that which is commonly stated on various SP's websites. I'm not being silly and dancing around anything...please give me more credit than that.

 

Anything you say can and will be misquoted and used against you...........

 

hahahaha

[wet_dreamz 104]

Anything you say can and will be misquoted and used against you...........

 

hahahaha

 

I think it was! LOL You'd think I just fell off a turnip truck or something. No biggie!

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Sorry Wet, didn't mean you in my post, but rather the ladies that continue to use the language on their sites.

[wet_dreamz 104]

Sorry Wet, didn't mean you in my post, but rather the ladies that continue to use the language on their sites.

 

No sWet! LOL