Exclusivity and Jealousy?

[JennDDD 1588]

As you know i have been thinking about my own future experience with an SP, when the time is right.

 

In the meantime, while being on this site, a question has entered my mind....

 

Is/are their issues with SPs wanting exclusivity and jealously amogst sps? i was thinking of this in terms of say hairdressers who get quite catty, to Dr's who don't really care....so for SPs at what part of that exclusivity/jealousy scale does the profession in general fall?

 

and as always, i hope you don't mind the question, i truly value all of you wonderful women and what i am learning.

 

cheers.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I am sure it exists, as women will be women, but I am lucky not to have knowingly encountered this horrible female phenomenon lol. The ladies that I associate with (either in person or in cyber land) are a great bunch and we do not indulge in catty behavior! Actually, I have never had the privilege of knowing such classy women in my previous "straight" profession!

[roamingguy 300292]

I fortunately haven't encountered this. I have found that most ladies have a mutual respect for one another. Some ladies who have provided me with a reference tell me that I would like the lady I want to see. They have also suggested ladies who I might be interested in meeting

Professional companions want their clients to be happy and enjoy this lifestyle, in much the same way as gentlemen provide recommendations for ladies, so ladies can see other men and gain new clients. They don't see other ladies as a threat. They see them as their peers.

RG

[Andee 220524]

If an SP does that, she needs to do a reality check and realize we don't own our clients. If a client comes to see me and I know I provide a good service, he will repeat. Then if he expresses a desire to see someone else, I encourage him and even make suggestions for SPs who I think would be a good fit.

 

If he has a good experience with them, he's likely to see me again anyways. And if the SP finds it positive as well, she will in turn refer me to others.

 

If a client is determined to see other ladies, there is nothing I can do to stop him, but if I can recommend someone to him who I think he'll click with, I do not hesitate to do so. I'd rather send the business to someone I know will give him good service than to dissuade him thinking I can keep him to myself and him possibly having him go to see someone regardless and possibly have a bad experience.

 

Appreciative clients and SPs will always make sure they let me know they are grateful even if it's just a simple "thank you".

 

Recently I have been the recipient of been treated to dinner, two road trips, reiki treatment, clothing donation, gift cards, and referrals.

 

The only time I might have a problem is if a client promised to see me and cancelled the appointment in favour of another lady. That might sting, but hey it happens as well.

 

Additional Comments:

I am sure it exists, as women will be women, but I am lucky not to have knowingly encountered this horrible female phenomenon lol. The ladies that I associate with (either in person or in cyber land) are a great bunch and we do not indulge in catty behavior! Actually, I have never had the privilege of knowing such classy women in my previous "straight" profession!

 

I am so glad that I have you as my "neighbour" in Orleans. You are one of the classy ones!

[CristyCurves 169032]

I have always had the opinion that as providers and women we should help and encourage one another. This buisness is hard enough no need to add any emotional conflict, yet still some do.

I have always suggested another lady to my clients, some have questioned me for doing so, they wondered why I would want to give away my business, my feeling on that is if they liked me and my service they will return if they would like a change then hopefully they will like my reference. In the end we all choose who we would like to see, it shouldn't be taken personallly and it is my belief that alot of men like variety so why not recommend another lady. It helps her and him. That should be how this business works. Share and share alike!

[Guest]

I am not jealous and I do not expect my clients to be exclusive to me. I try to focus on myself and not on others. I encourage my clients to see other escorts as there is many great and beautiful women here on cerb. Or from what I read here on cerb. I have confidence in myself to understand that I will get a chance to see and meet new and old clients. I look at other escorts as women who work in the same field and I understand their daily challenges. I refuse to look at other escorts as competition. This sounds cliche but we all come in different shapes and sizes and we all have our own unique qualities that make us stand out in our own way.

 

It is unrealistic to expect clients to be exclusive to you and is very bad for business, i.m.o. Plus I would rather have clients who are happy and excited to see me. It is the same with people who have to cut people down and spread rumors about their competition. It may temporarily cause clients to stick to this person but in the long run it only is bad for the person running their business this way and is a direct refection of who that person is. Most people can see that these kind of problems stem from insecurities and nothing is more sexy than a confident woman. I also have to say that if clients want to take part in rumors or believe rumors they are the kind of clients I do not want to see anyway. I could imagine that this would happen more in the strip club environment/ private club environment/ agency environment as I'm sure most independent escorts do not have direct contact with each other unless they choose to meet. This is just my opinion about this subject.

 

The great thing about cerb is that it is a positive community and anything negative gets removed. So in my opinion it nips a lot of these kind of problems in the bud and I am happy to be part of such a positive community.

[mrrnice2 157005]

My experience with this is I believe quite common. The first time that it happened it rather took me by surprise because I believed and still do that it is a business in which competition plays a role.

 

 

However I continually have SP's who in general conversation tell me about other SP's who "I really should see," or who they believe that I would really enjoy meeting.

 

They are recommending competitors to me because they support each other. Usually what goes around comes around.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Being in a small town( not sure if that changes much ) I used to hear all the time from other SP's...." Oh she will steel your clients" I would laugh to myself when hearing this. Like how do you steal a client? Stand at the front door and kidnap them?? lol....With the size of my city, eventually a hobbiest will see everyone who does work here. At the end of the day, we all are sharing with each other. In my mind, no one can steal my clients...cause they are not mine!

[Nathalie L 112512]

I want people to be with me because they truly desire my companionship, not because I've created an environment where they don't feel safe to explore with other providers. I think the CERB community is truly beautiful in that sense.

 

Of course when a regular patron decides to see someone else I have a little moment of "ah..." but it usually lasts no more than a couple moments. When the moment passes I move on to being happy for them and the provider in question. I think that's simply a normal human emotion...

 

It's not the feelings themselves we should be concerned about, but rather, how we manage those feelings. In these instances 'grace' seems to be the most appropriate response. Also, I would never (ever) sabotage a reference, or engage in catty behaviour. This is about safety and solidarity amongst services providers, and for me, that's of the utmost importance.

[Guest]

I want people to be with me because they truly desire my companionship, not because I've created an environment where they don't feel safe to explore with other providers. I think the CERB community is truly beautiful in that sense.

 

Of course when a regular patron decides to see someone else I have a little moment of "ah..." but it usually lasts no more than a couple moments. When the moment passes I move on to being happy for them and the provider in question. I think that's simply a normal human emotion...

 

It's not the feelings themselves we should be concerned about, but rather, how we manage those feelings. In these instances 'grace' seems to be the most appropriate response. Also, I would never (ever) sabotage a reference, or engage in catty behaviour. This is about safety and solidarity amongst services providers, and for me, that's of the utmost importance.

 

Sometimes not wanting to provide a reference is not about being jealous or wanting to keep clients to yourself. It is about being cautious.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Jealousy is such an ugly thing. I don't own anyone and I am fully secure in the fact that I offer a great service that I don't worry about such things. They always return. I am not in committed relationships with my clients so they are free to do as they please. My SP friends and I have many mutual clients we all see.

[renegade 11027]

I never would have believed how unselfish and classy that sp,s are before i spent time here,I was truly ignorant of how this industry worked as most outsiders are. But i,ve never encountered or even heard of any jealousies between the providers here,if anything the complete opposite seems to be true. The ones i,ve been fortunate enough to meet seem to be more interested in seeing that my encounters are memorable whether its with them or someone they provided a rec for on my behalf . Never would you see that type of co-operation in any other business that i,m aware of. You all are amazing individuals to me and my respect has only grown with every amazing provider i,ve met.

[Guest *ig*a**]

I don't think any sp would get jealous but might get a little upset if say a client they had seen regularly for years decides to stop seeing them and goes somewhere else but hey that's the nature of the business.

[roamingguy 300292]

Something else, expecting exclusivity from a gentleman in what is by nature a poly amorous lifestyle is somewhat, well, creepy. Especially when I don't think that lady would recipricate and be exclusive to the gentleman

Monogomy is reserved for relationships, not for this lifestyle

Expecting one way monogomy is nothing short of selfish

This lifestyle is by nature poly amorous, on both sides. And ladies should be happy if gentlemen find other companions who make them happy. Likewise gentlemen should be happy if the ladies they see also see other gentlemen who are good clients for the ladies

RG

[JennDDD 1588]

thanks everyone, this was enlightening, and it seems this industry has more respect than most "mainstream" industries. more power to you amazing women!

[Phaedrus 209521]

Never had anything like this. I've seen the odd tale of woe posted here, but it's not something I've ever encountered. Quite the opposite, in fact... I've seen a couple of ladies because other ladies told me I should (and those recommendations were good, as it turned out).

 

I honestly can't see why any SP could reasonably complain about a client seeing other SPs. After all, she probably sees other clients...

[Butterfly Kisses 2301]

If I met a lady at a massage parlor that I found extremely enjoyable, I won't see others there. I hoped it would make that sp happier to know they were my only choice and result in a lot more comfort and pleasure for us both.

[contraman 5480]

I'm probably not quite "experienced" enough to have a truly informed opinion on these matters.

 

But I've never let a lack of facts or experience get in the way of shooting off my mouth, so ...

 

Seems to me that there's a complicated dynamic at work here. I'm visiting an SP because there's something I need. It's not just the "rumpy-pumpy" -- it's a human connection.

 

Most of the encounters I've had with SPs have been, overall, disappointing. Either blatant clockwatching, the feeling that there's a 'script' that I need to follow, the lack of interest in any parts of me beyond "little Contra", or just some plain weirdness set me off. There have been exceptions. I'm currently experiencing one of those exceptions, happily -- an opportunity to explore some of the aspects of my sexual life which have been neglected or which I'd never thought would be more than a fantasy.

 

I think it's possible for two people to engage in a quite human relationship that also involves sexual play, as well as the exchange of money. To find some clumsy analogies: I go to a counselor, I pay; I get my car serviced, I pay; I get my teeth cleaned, I pay. While I pay for these services, I also want to have some form of human connection with the service provider. I don't want to be BFFs with my dentist, and wouldn't with my counselor for sure. But it's so much more pleasant to find a service provider you like as a person and who seems to like you as a person.

 

Does that mean I'm "going steady?" or "Exclusive?" Maybe at some points it does or it will. Maybe not. Maybe the need I feel for this will decline, period. And maybe I'm comfortable enough with the arrangement that I have no need to go elsewhere at the moment.

 

Don't know where this advances the discussion, if at all, but at least it's out of my head and somewhere else.

[fortunateone 156618]

I only provide my kind of session, and it makes sense that clients who are interested in other styles are going to see other sps. Sometimes (with regulars) they will only see me, because I provide exactly what they want (and they don't want the uncertainty of visiting other sps that might give the results described above.

 

There is a bit of trial and error in finding sps, you can't possibly expect each and every one of them to be right for you. Even when they are doing their best, they still might not be your cup of tea.

 

Even if I haven't met someone, if they approached me in the right way, and were looking for something I didn't feel was available from me, I'd recommend someone else. I'm not going to throw out a name tho if I didn't think he would be someone I would see.

[Mikeyboy 27134]

Something else, expecting exclusivity from a gentleman in what is by nature a poly amorous lifestyle is somewhat, well, creepy. Especially when I don't think that lady would recipricate and be exclusive to the gentleman

Monogomy is reserved for relationships, not for this lifestyle

Expecting one way monogomy is nothing short of selfish

This lifestyle is by nature poly amorous, on both sides. And ladies should be happy if gentlemen find other companions who make them happy. Likewise gentlemen should be happy if the ladies they see also see other gentlemen who are good clients for the ladies

RG

 

If I were any good at monogamy, I would have never found this site! LOL. I suspect that the same is true for many here.....

[Kubrickfan 12836]

If I were any good at monogamy, I would have never found this site! LOL. I suspect that the same is true for many here.....

 

Ha, funny. Good answer!

 

I think there's a bit of a difference ... a SP should never complain if a client sees other clients, but she has every reason to be upset if plans are made and then a client sees another lady who becomes available and then the client lies about it.

 

But that's lying, and that's different, but it sometimes gets intermingled into these sorts of issues.

 

By the way, the thing about the client lying and seeing another lady ... that also works in reverse ... if a lady lies to a client that she had set up an appointment with in order to see a different (more profitable?) client ... well that's not right either.

[roamingguy 300292]

If I were any good at monogamy, I would have never found this site! LOL. I suspect that the same is true for many here.....

 

Funny thing, me, I was always a monogamous guy in my relationships. Just the dating/relationship thing didn't work out for me, which is why I finally gave up, and started in this lifestyle seeing ladies. And one aspect of this lifestyle I like is the poly amorous nature of it. Seeing other ladies is expected, and I have met many wonderful ladies. That's one reason ladies, well some ladies provide references, they know we will see other ladies, and they want encounters safe and enjoyable. And I know the ladies are meeting other gentlemen. That's one of the reasons we (well I, shouldn't speak for everyoneLOL) write recommendations, so gentlemen out there know of wonderful ladies to meet.

As for monogamy, well now, after a couple years seeing escorts and exposed to a poly amorous lifestyle I don't think I could go back to conventional relationships and dating, and be monogamous. This lifestyle has corrupted me LOL...and oh, what fun corruption it has been :-)

RG

[Guest S**a*Q]

I compare everything to business.

 

Tim Hortons won't lose their shit because you get a coffee at Starbucks once a day. If Tim Hortons did say something to the customers they knew shopped elsewhere, they'd lose a lot of business.

 

People have the right to choose where they shop, whether it be for caffeine or vagina.

[Mikeyboy 27134]

Variety and the thought of being with someone new is one of the aspects that drew me to this hobby. There are ladies I have repeated with, but I still like the variety. It's part of what makes it so interesting. New experiences are what life is all about imho.

[Mister T 45020]

I only provide my kind of session, and it makes sense that clients who are interested in other styles are going to see other sps. Sometimes (with regulars) they will only see me, because I provide exactly what they want (and they don't want the uncertainty of visiting other sps that might give the results described above.

 

There is a bit of trial and error in finding sps, you can't possibly expect each and every one of them to be right for you. Even when they are doing their best, they still might not be your cup of tea.

 

Even if I haven't met someone, if they approached me in the right way, and were looking for something I didn't feel was available from me, I'd recommend someone else. I'm not going to throw out a name tho if I didn't think he would be someone I would see.

 

If an SP does that, she needs to do a reality check and realize we don't own our clients. If a client comes to see me and I know I provide a good service, he will repeat. Then if he expresses a desire to see someone else, I encourage him and even make suggestions for SPs who I think would be a good fit.

 

If he has a good experience with them, he's likely to see me again anyways. And if the SP finds it positive as well, she will in turn refer me to others.

 

If a client is determined to see other ladies, there is nothing I can do to stop him, but if I can recommend someone to him who I think he'll click with, I do not hesitate to do so. I'd rather send the business to someone I know will give him good service than to dissuade him thinking I can keep him to myself and him possibly having him go to see someone regardless and possibly have a bad experience.

 

Appreciative clients and SPs will always make sure they let me know they are grateful even if it's just a simple "thank you".

 

 

I compare everything to business.

 

Tim Hortons won't lose their shit because you get a coffee at Starbucks once a day. If Tim Hortons did say something to the customers they knew shopped elsewhere, they'd lose a lot of business.

 

People have the right to choose where they shop, whether it be for caffeine or vagina.

 

Mmmm. i think i'll sound a bit disjointed and a tad blunt in trying to reply to this thread this morning (coffee, coffee, where are you?) ...

 

While i do tend to see a handful of ladies frequently, i do see them as i believe we get well along to see each other, as each visit with the ladies i know provides something different (I certainly do appreciate the ladies company i know to see them often, and each visit gets to be a little different), and it's always nice to know you are appreciated. Fortunateone and Angela have put this idea better than i ever could this morning. I must say also that receiving a suggestion from an SP for another is great (happened to me recently). Just goes to show that

 

While i might see a restricted number of ladies, it does not mean that i do not wish to see new ladies, nor does it mean that i do not appreciate the company of others i have previously met, but haven't had the chance of visiting recently. In reference to Sara's business analogy, and to be blunt, if i'd really feel to be considered exclusive to an SP, well, i'd suddenly wouldn't be ....

 

Hopefully this makes sense...