What is in a name

[CristyCurves 169032]

There are all kinds of titles given to us. Usually the least flattering ones are used, especially in the news, they always use prostitutes-never service providers, or courtesans or escorts or even working girls. Do you think it is done to make us appear as the "underbellies" of society or because they don't know any better?

[Mister T 45020]

Don't know any better, lack of understanding or willingness to accept that, as human beings, monogamy can be difficult to maintain (though not impossible but not impossible IMO).

 

I think it's somewhat complex (at least when it comes to understanding human nature and a diversified planet), but part of it may be human upbringing. If you look at north-american, or more loosely judeo-christian upbringing (to name just this one), monogamy is promoted and favored. Find a girlfriend, get married, picket fences, 2.1 kids etc.... This may be a way for the more right-wing groups to promote their views, i dont know.

 

A quick, partly awake post for this morning...

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Mainstream media (so tempted to go all Sarah Palin and call them lamestream media) have almost no concept of the reality of sex workers (my preferred term). Prostitute is a generic catch-all that technically describes someone that has sex for money and is universally understood. Unfortunately it is also widely associated with street-level sex workers so it has a negative overtone. However it would also be inaccurate to say Robert Picton stalked service providers or escorts.

[Guest a**4*]

I agree with you Cristy the media always use the P word never SP or escort.I am waiting for the next time they use that P word.I am going to tell them they need to be respectful to ladies and use SP or escort and not that P word who left them judge and jury these ladies are awsome ladies the media need to be educated they live in the stone age (idiots):bigclap:.Thank you Cristy excellent post i have thought about that myself

[Guest S**a*Q]

Honestly, it is what it is. You pay, I put out. Personally, I like to refer to myself as "slut for money" cause it makes me laugh.

 

I think the media refers to us as prostitutes because it's the proper term for us that doesn't fall into the slang category.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I'm with Sara on this one. Sticks and stones....

[Mikeyboy 27134]

The term prostitute is not inherently negative, but carries a lot of baggage with it. For many, it brings to mind drug addicted street walkers, an image which is perpetuated by many forms of media.

Of course there are terms that are only used with the intention of being hurtful such as whore, that even the media will reserve for specific circumstances.

Unfortunately, many of the other terms we use are not specific enough outside of a group like this. My plumber is technically a service provider. I'm not sure my parents would know what you were talking about if you used that term with them with no context. Even escort doesn't necessarily specifically cover a sexual context.

I agree with OutForFun in that "sex worker" is a much better term. It is descriptive, specific and to the point, without carrying nearly as much baggage.

[roamingguy 300292]

I think the terms prostitute, or worse ones, like ho_ker, wh_re, etc etc etc

allow mainstream society to marginalize and treat escorts as second, or third class citizens.

Sex workers, well it is true that for the most part sex takes place in encounter, but it doesn't truly define what the ladies do.

To me, Professional Companion is the term I would prefer. I have had encounters with ladies, where we have gone out for dinner, and breakfast (no, we weren't doing it on the table in the restaurant LOL) and to a bar for drinks to get to know one another. I myself go for multiple-hour encounters (2 hours +) A fair part of the time is social, not sexual

To me, a Professional Companion encompasses all aspects of male/female companionship, not just sexual. A sex worker on the other hand merely provides sexual services.

Just my opinion, and two cents worth

RG

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think the terms prostitute, or worse ones, like ho_ker, wh_re, etc etc etc

allow mainstream society to marginalize and treat escorts as second, or third class citizens.

Sex workers, well it is true that for the most part sex takes place in encounter, but it doesn't truly define what the ladies do.

To me, Professional Companion is the term I would prefer. I have had encounters with ladies, where we have gone out for dinner, and breakfast (no, we weren't doing it on the table in the restaurant LOL) and to a bar for drinks to get to know one another. I myself go for multiple-hour encounters (2 hours +) A fair part of the time is social, not sexual

To me, a Professional Companion encompasses all aspects of male/female companionship, not just sexual. A sex worker on the other hand merely provides sexual services.

Just my opinion, and two cents worth

RG

 

I personally like the words "hook er" and "whore".

 

It is what I do, compared to my friends who all have "normal" jobs.

 

It doesn't make me any less than a person.

 

You can't look up in the dictionary the other terms we wanna call ourselves, they aren't there.

We are prostitutes.

 

Just embrace what we are and be proud of it.

 

The more we hide behind what terms we're given, the weaker we may look

 

We are what will change people's minds.

 

I'm not afraid of what I am.

 

I'm a prostitute, hook er, slut for money, or self-proclaimed whore...

 

I am not ashamed of what I do...

(Except to my parents, but that's cause I haven't had the chance to talk to them. I need money in the bank and a plan on the table... I know my mom n dad...)

 

I am Sara, bringer of pleasure and all namee of all other names above, so hear me out!

 

Let's reclaim what was taken from us so long ago...

 

Eff everyone else and who cares what they think?

As long as it's not mom n dad, it's all good ;)

[CristyCurves 169032]

personally like the words "hook er" and "whore".

I get the gist of your post and agree with some of your points, but why then were so many members offended even angered when another member used the same term, in the end it got her suspended. Does it depend on who uses it and how?

Personally I don't like the more derogatory terms, such as the ones above. I know who I am and what I do, but I don't need someone being ignorant about it. Just as large sized people don't like to be defamed, nor do unattractive people, not so intelligent people or other ethnicities. There are descriptive, graphic, harsh words that are even in the dictionary but it doesn't make them polite or kind or respectful of the person or their position. It is our job to make society aware that his profession is full of respectful, educated, civil minded, kind and polite people, to set an example. To do this we have to act in a way that is respectful and accepting not only towards others but to oneanother, by using and accepting these words we lower our standards and levels of respect, jmo.

[Guest S**a*Q]

Not sure who got suspended, but if the words are used with a negative connotation then they are negative.

 

I suppose it's a lot like the "n" word. I would never use it, but African Canadian/American people use it all the time as a term of endearment to each other.

 

If another hoo ker called me a hoo ker, that's fine.

My friends, with "normal jobs", call me hoo ker, but I know it's a term of endearment coming from them.

 

If a random person called me a hoo ker in a derogatory manner, that's not fine.

 

(Cerb doesn't even like the word, it keeps censoring me. LOL!)

 

So yes, it does depend on how the word is used and who is using the word.

 

We'll never get rid of the words, so I figure embrace them.

[Guest *ebu**]

For the best primer in the absurdity of language, words and "obscenity", consult the comedy geniuses: Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. The most gentle words can be rendered utterly offensive, depending on context. Good thread!

[loopie 15358]

I also consider the terms 'prostitute' or 'sex trade worker' to be neutral and I generally expect the media to use neutral terms instead of slang or euphamisms.

 

And even though I am a client/consumer in the sex trade, I never think of the term 'service provider' in a sexual context other than when I am on this site. Honestly, if a buddy of mine told me had a service provider coming over to his place, I would assume he was having a telephone line installed or something.

[bewlayb 7480]

Hmmm. As usual, threads dealing with semantics here are both interesting and complex. Primarily because context and perspective are important. What is acceptable to one person for a particular scenario may not be acceptable to a different person, or to either person for a different situation, etc. Where some words are concerned, generalization is not possible.

 

Sarah makes some important points, which I agree with and have made before. We have to stop taking words so literally and without consideration of the context. Context includes who said it, why they said it, and who is the intended receiver. Sarah describes mainly one-on-one situations where she is the receiver (honest, no pun intended). She says it's okay to use all manner of colourful labels for her, as long as she knows you, and your words are meant to have positive connotations. One-on-one and perhaps with a less extensive vocabulary, this is probably true for most people here.

 

However, I think Cristy in her original post, is describing a somewhat different scenario - one that concerns the use of labels by the media or general public. Unfortunately, in that broader scenario there are many receivers; so there may be many different interpretations and reactions to the use of certain labels. While it is not always clear what meaning the originator intended, that is precisely what we, as receivers, must focus on - not the labels.

 

I doubt any service provider would feel any better about an article or comment where someone described "courtesans" and "hired-companions" as the scourge or underbelly of society. Coversely, I would expect an overall positive reaction to an article advocating safety for "prostitutes" or defending a prostitute's right to earn a living. It's the message that's important, not the individual words used and on their own.

[roamingguy 300292]

I personally like the words "hook er" and "whore".

 

It is what I do, compared to my friends who all have "normal" jobs.

 

It doesn't make me any less than a person.

 

You can't look up in the dictionary the other terms we wanna call ourselves, they aren't there.

We are prostitutes.

 

Just embrace what we are and be proud of it.

 

The more we hide behind what terms we're given, the weaker we may look

 

We are what will change people's minds.

 

I'm not afraid of what I am.

 

I'm a prostitute, hook er, slut for money, or self-proclaimed whore...

 

I am not ashamed of what I do...

(Except to my parents, but that's cause I haven't had the chance to talk to them. I need money in the bank and a plan on the table... I know my mom n dad...)

 

I am Sara, bringer of pleasure and all namee of all other names above, so hear me out!

 

Let's reclaim what was taken from us so long ago...

 

Eff everyone else and who cares what they think?

As long as it's not mom n dad, it's all good ;)

 

First off Sara, I appreciate and respect your point of view.

And I certainly don't think any less of ladies who are Professional Companions:icon_wink: Sex Workers, Ho_kers, or any of the other labels used.

In fact, irrespective of what label is used, you all enrich and brighten my life, providing companionship and an escape, without the strings of a relationship. I think very highly of all you ladies

But some of those labels do allow "mainstream" society to marginalize ladies. Case in point, the Picton case. In large part, IMHO, the police were slow to react, was because they were investigating the deaths of prostitutes/h_okers/streetwalkers or any of the other labels used to describe ladies. They weren't investigating the deaths of someones' daughter/sister/mother etc.

But irrespective of what label you use, you have this gentleman's utmost respect, both as a fellow human being and for the companionship you provide

A rambling

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I just see them for what they are. Prostitute would be the most politically correct term to use and h----ker ( not sure if I can post the full word here??) and w----re, I really don't see as offensive. It's all in how you react or not react to these terms.

 

My SP friends and I who are in close proximity to one another have a running joke about the part of town we live in.. We always say "Welcome to Whorleans." lol. Embrace it because if you can't live with these terms to describe what you do for a living, then how are you going to deal with everything else that gets thrown your way in this job?

 

Yes, some of these terms can be viewed as disrespectful but they are only words regardless of what context they are used in. People will only disrespect you if you allow them to. It takes a thick skin to be in this business.

[Athos 108589]

Part of the difficulty, it seems to me, is that the same words are used to apply to a vast range of different sections of the sex industry.

 

Certainly, prostitute is likely the correct term. But the notion of escorts and call-girls developed to differentiate different parts of the industry. Street workers as opposed to women who worked in a brothel or those working independently (or for an agency) and "on-call". The industry is highly stratified and we understand that. I don't have any problem with words like prostitute or whore. But in some ways those words don't really capture the women I see. Likely because those words, through social and media usage, developed too many negative connotations. Women are "forced" into prostitution, prostitutes are linked to pimps, human trafficking, etc., etc. I realize that these are overly broad stereotypes, but they also do capture the reality of some women's experiences.

 

I think it's great when people reclaim terms that have been stigmatized, and wear those terms with pride. But it does seem to me the terms in this business also have a lot to do with marketing and positioning of oneself within the industry.

 

To paraphrase my good friend RG ... just a bit of a ramble on a Sunday night.

 

Porthos

[castle 38816]

When speaking casually, I only use terms like Service Provider or Escort. I think I only use "h----ker" when referring to the street scene. I honestly don't know if that's wrong of me or not.

 

Personally I don't think I would ever use a term like "h----ker" when referring to an escort. Maybe once upon a time I could have. But not anymore. I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. However, words like "whore" and "slut", I could see myself using, but only during dirty talk when we're both into it. Dirty talking can be a lot of fun :D And ONLY if it has been previously agreed upon with the lady in question. Seriously insulting a lady while my penis is in her mouth just strikes me as a very...ummm...BAD idea....if you know what I mean lol. CHOMP!! 'nuff said :p