Noob Question: SP's contacting clients etiquette?

[Guest sheikyerboot]

Before proceeding, I would like to note: If the SP I am referring to happens to see this post, please don't take it as a personal slam against you; I'm merely posting this here because I thought it might make a imformative topic of discussion amongst both SP's and hobbyists.

 

My question is what is, or should be, the etiquette used by SP's when contacting clients? The reason I ask is that I recieved a text message earlier from a provider that I had a session with last week, informing me that she had a great night with me and she is hoping to do it again sometime.

 

This strikes me as a little rude, risky and invasive. For all she might know, I have a wife or SO to whom I'm now having to make up some story as to who's texting me and why. This SP and I have only had a couple of sessions together, and I have not given much details of my personal life, so it's a little dangerous to my privacy or/and personal well-being for her to assume anything. Shouldn't the old adage, "Don't call us, we'll call you," apply in cases like this? I should add: I'm not angered by this matter, just concerned, really.

 

On the other hand, I can understand SP's texting me an hour or so before a scheduled session to confirm that we're still on for our appointment; so that she can avoid getting prepared for an encouter that--for whatever reason--might not take place after all. It just so happens that this situation occured with another SP just yesterday too. She texted to ask if I was coming over, and the appointment I had made with her was for the next night (today), actually. Just a little mix-up in communications is all. It happens--we all make mistakes, we're all only human--we sorted the matter out and things are back on course, happily.

 

Still, the questions remain: should the hobbyist set boundaries with the provider with regards to how she may contact him, and in what manner should he go about it? I'm thinking straight-forwardness is the key, and that during the initial contact the client should pollitely advise her, if he so requires, to only contact him by text/email/private message/carrier pigeon during certain times (if that also applies), according to what is most convienient for him.

 

Do SP's find this rude, or that it makes things too complicated, and so are likely to just turn down the requested appointment instead? Or do you accept it as a necessary fact of the nature of the business that a certain amount of discretion is necessary and required? Or, rather, do you appreciate if as much detail regarding the encounter is established beforehand, to avoid any potential problems? Any advice from you ladies, and the gentlemen who have dealt with these situations before, would be much welcomed.

 

Thank you.

[Frank7 3939]

I'd say it's the client's job to specify if he doesn't want to be texted/called/etc or any other specifics.

 

Just like some SP mention in there adds to not call them just text, or not contact them during X to X of the day.

 

 

Basically, the one with something to hide should tell the other of the specifics. Be it the client or the SP.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

'Don't call us, we'll call you' - CORRECT

 

An SP should never be cold-calling or cold-textinga client, unless he has said this is fine to do. I have a couple of clients who enjoy getting the occasional text from me just saying hello!, but I've only done this at their encouragement.

 

Otherwise, the only time I may call/text a client is at an agreed-upon time, such as, I'm supposed to contact them the morning of an appointment to let them know my location. They're expecting my call.

 

This is a business of discretion, and I assume, unless told otherwise, that every one of my clients has a spouse/family/coworkers with them at all times, so I would never place their privacy at risk by contacting them randomly.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Well... yes. This seems risky.

 

If a call/email is required at a particular time to confirm an appointment, then that's fine; presumably the client can arrange to be able to take the call/email. As for random communications... in the absence of any other information, I'd have thought this was a bad idea.

 

Of course, this sort of thing is also why it's a good idea to have a completely separate phone and email for CERB-related activities. You don't turn on the phone or check the email until/unless it's safe to do so. Problem solved! And since that's what I do, I'm quite happy for ladies I know to drop me an email or text to say Hi if they feel so inclined (and very flattered when they do, for that matter :) ). Although if it's a text, it might take me a week or three to see it... but that's just me, and the way I operate. It doesn't apply to everyone.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Always have a Hobby phone that you can put away somewhere and keep it wiped clean of all texts. Get a used smart phone with a sim card that you can swap out with a private number. This is when pay as you go comes into play.

[fortunateone 156618]

I'd say it's the client's job to specify if he doesn't want to be texted/called/etc or any other specifics.

 

Just like some SP mention in there adds to not call them just text, or not contact them during X to X of the day.

 

 

Basically, the one with something to hide should tell the other of the specifics. Be it the client or the SP.

 

 

I would say he shouldn't have to do anything like this.

 

The sp is already supposed to know all this.

 

Barring any technological delay in her sending the text and it being received, the OP's privacy here has been seriously violated. The sp has proven herself to be seriously indiscreet, and probably just lost a repeat client. She has shown herself to be a bit clueless as well as to how to be a professional.

 

I hope she does read this and knows that it is about her. In fact, I hope that other sps who think this is a normal or OK thing to do read it and believe it is about them.

 

The only way any sp can send out random texts or emails is ONLY with the client's prior permission, or in reply (within a reasonable amount of time with text or phone calls, more flexible with emails) to first contact.

[roamingguy 300292]

I'll confess I'm on the fence here

On one hand it would be reasonable to assume that a gentleman has a phone used exclusively for this lifestyle. A married guy using a cell phone for this lifestyle, that he shares with his wife is just IMHO asking for trouble. One piece of advice, get a phone ONLY YOU USE FOR THIS LIFESTYLE, and no one else has access to it

On the other hand, if he didn't expressly say it was ok for the lady to contact him, out of prudence she shouldn't.

But, here I am fence sitting again :-), he should, as a precaution, have told her not to contact him.

Under no circumstances IMO, should either a SP or Gentleman phone one another unless it is prearranged. You never know who the SP or Gentleman is with when you phone, at least with a text you can answer at your convenience

In short, I'd say a bit of shared responsibility based on what was posted

My humble opinion

RG

[YoungBeautyMirella 5600]

No, I DEFINITELY do NOT think the hobbyist should EVER, under ANY circumstance, have to tell the SP not to contact him as the SP should ALREADY know that that is NOT okay!! Obviously, there are cases like you stated; confirming, texting right after to say thank you or if he forgot something there etc but this is far from what has happened, giving it was a WEEK later so There is NO excuse! Even if the man mentions at one point in conversation that he is single(which in this case he did NOT which baffles me even more) you never really truly know what he has going on, and an SP as a professional(well we hope that she would be) shhe should never feel the need to 'casually' text for a session, no matter how nicely she words it. It is obvious to us all that she was in need of money, and that is very selfish behaviour to put another human being at risk, I have seen women who are so insecure they get mad for no reason let alone a girl texting 'that was great come back real soon'. I am sure she very well knew the risk. Asking a hobbyist to come see you instead of the other way around definitely defeats the whole 'mysterious' purpose of being an SP. Yes I am only human, as all are of us, so I have definitely experienced being broke after paying all my bills a couple of times but still!! There are LOTS of ways for an SP to be creative and post an ad offering fun specials or whatever floats her boat(it really confuses me as to why a female sp would text a week later). If in this case the SP did and that still did not work for her, her actions at the end of the day made it even worse because now I am sure she lost a potential repeat hobbyist, which seems like is not in her favour.

 

Sheikyerboot you, however, aced this and handled this situation very well. Just by this post it is clear you are a good guy, you definitely could have freaked out and made a big drama out of it, but by you posting this very sincere and genuinely, it goes to show that being sweet and nice people mistake that for weakness(whether or not that happened in this case) it is her loss and lesson learned!

[LeeRichards 177238]

My question is what is, or should be, the etiquette used by SP's when contacting clients? The reason I ask is that I recieved a text message earlier from a provider that I had a session with last week, informing me that she had a great night with me and she is hoping to do it again sometime.

 

 

 

Still, the questions remain: should the hobbyist set boundaries with the provider with regards to how she may contact him, and in what manner should he go about it? I'm thinking straight-forwardness is the key, and that during the initial contact the client should pollitely advise her, if he so requires, to only contact him by text/email/private message/carrier pigeon during certain times (if that also applies), according to what is most convienient for him.

Thank you.

 

Yes set boundaries absolutely ! Be honest and straightforward in regards to this...as is the lady in the same regards. It really is no big deal....What works for one is not necessarily good for another. I prefer texts as opposed to emails and I use my personal phone so obviously I place a high level of trust in who I visit with. and yes yes I am nuts... My point is be upfront and all will be good.

 

The ladies will actually appreciate knowing your preferred choice of contact and your taboo choice of contact.

[Athos 108589]

I agree that one shouldn't have to tell a SP not to contact you. This should go without saying.

 

However, it is still prudent to take precautions. Mistakes do happen, and sometimes a text is not at all intended to be an intrusion to your privacy.

 

If you don't have a separate hobby phone (highly recommended) at least be sensible. I used to have a separate phone, but it died and I haven't replaced it. So I am very careful. If you get lots of texts and calls from work you can probably safely cover for anything that comes in. I don't, so it would be very odd for me to receive a text when I'm at home. The people I text are usually my family. So if I'm with them, it would be strange and raise eyebrows.

 

So you need the cover story. Of course, Rogers and other cell providers do send unsolicited texts selling things and promoting their services. That's always a good cover. I do get telemarketers calling my cell from time to time (we all know that obnoxious cruise ship horn). I don't leave my phone lying around, it is generally always on my person. If it's charging I leave it in the case so the screen is covered. That way a text doesn't pop up for all to see. And, I turn it to silent when I'm at home. That way, any unwanted or unanticipated phone call or text will not be noticed.

 

But, in general ... It's better to use a separate hobby phone. Might pop out today and replace mine.

 

Porthos

[kechara 2526]

For me if I was to receive a text I would not care. However I am single so it doesn't matter.

 

 

I don't believe a SP should be texting someone without having talked to the person beforehand and knowing it is ok with the person. Since a lot of others are not in my situation, discretion is an important part of the business relationship between client and SP. As a client I am asked to be discrete when going to a SPs incall so as not to draw attention or cause and issues for here. The same thing has to be returned to the client by the SP. In this case it would mean not contacting them unless they know it is not a problem for the client.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I think there is a grey area to this and often timing is the issue. I myself will send a thank you email (email is my preferred and often only form of communication) to my dates after having met them, not a week after but often an hour or day after.

Sometimes if I have had extensive communications with someone then I am well aware that sending a message is not only okay but often welcome so I will send a message at a random time, simply because I saw something that may be of interest to them but that is a date that I've been exchanging a number of messages with and I know it's a welcome thing.

 

Some ladies message after a date to genuinely thank you for your business and for spending (quality) time with them, this is likely their way of letting you know you were an enjoyable guest. Other ladies likely message you after a date as a marketing tool, a way to drum up business when times are slow, if you find that it's an unwelcome way for a lady to market herself then you may want to let her know that you are not in a position to receive these messages and in future would appreciate no longer being contacted. You can also decide if it was a serious enough violation of your privacy to no longer see her and eventually she will see that it is not an effective marketing strategy.

If however you believe it was a genuine thank you then perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt and take it as a compliment, she likely does not reach out to everyone and you can smile to yourself that you are one of the few that 'made the cut.' You can still let her know that though you appreciate the thank you it put you in an awkward position but since there was no harm this time (it doesn't sound like you were caught by anyone) then just smile about the thanks and enjoy the ego boost that she felt the need to write you a personal note of thanks. :-)

[sexy skyy 1077]

when most of my contact was by email my standard response was always... "If i miss your call, a return call is made only at your request." this applies to before or after an encounter, even if i miss a call by minutes and the number is on my display or if a call gets cut off, someone may have walked into a room or office etc. however now most of my contact is through text messages and i am not always available when they come through, i ask that the gentleman lets me know if they require an immediate response or if i may text back as soon as i can.

there are situations i can't always answer a call or text so why would i assume someone contacting me can. mutual respect goes a very long way to establishing happy encounters

[Andee 220524]

Totally inappropriate. That thank you could have been conveyed via pm or email, if it was truly heartfelt and in a timely fashion (not 2 weeks later).

 

She was fishing for an appointment.

 

I have some clients I am allowed to text because of the relationship I have built up with them over time. But I never initiate texting. If they text me and I can't respond within 15 minutes, I don't take the chance. They know this so as to not think I am ignoring them.

 

SPs should never text a client out of the blue.

 

Bad etiquette all round.

 

No excuse for it.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

You call us! End of story.

 

Good SPs that understand the need for discretion won't cold call clients and if someone texts or calls me and a significant amount of time passes, I won't call or text back either. When and if they call back, I tell them that.

[nominis 240]

This only happened with one SP who I saw repeatedly and it didn't bother me though I was single and had a good relationship her ... she knew that I didn't regard it as intrusive but that was because I had told her as much. It would have been quite different if I had to keep things hidden from a partner or was using a work related phone ...

[Royalfun 55449]

Texting or calling would have the same effect on me: a real turn off and a breach of rule number 1: discretion.

 

PMs through CERB, and I meet only ladies from this wonderful community of CERB, would be the most efficient and appreciated way to contact me.

[piano8950 32577]

Email. That's all I have to say.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

The underlying question is what is she doing keeping your phone number to begin with? Otherwise she wouldn't be able to txt you. Not good.

 

As much as I enjoy keeping in contact, these types of conversations should only occur, if at all, through cerb pm or through another private e-mail account you have established.

[percyvall65 110]

An SP may only require your email address (hotmail, gmail) to communicate with you until the last hour when you can use pay phones to make the final arrangements. It is your choice whether or not to give an SP your phone number. Personally, I would walk away if one demanded any form of identification other than an online email account.

 

Percy

[kechara 2526]

An SP may only require your email address (hotmail, gmail) to communicate with you until the last hour when you can use pay phones to make the final arrangements. It is your choice whether or not to give an SP your phone number. Personally, I would walk away if one demanded any form of identification other than an online email account.

 

Percy

 

 

Percy I think you might be doing a lot of walking. There is no security for the SP with only having an online email address of a person. These are easy for people to obtain with no verification.

[Andee 220524]

An SP may only require your email address (hotmail, gmail) to communicate with you until the last hour when you can use pay phones to make the final arrangements. It is your choice whether or not to give an SP your phone number. Personally, I would walk away if one demanded any form of identification other than an online email account.

 

Percy

 

Most legitimate SPs do not accept bookings from payphones unless they already know the client or the client has called first from his home landline and then calls when he's close by because he has no cell phone.

 

Calling from a payphone is the same thing as calling from a blocked number. You have no idea who you are dealing with and risk being stood up by someone who has your address, but you have no information about them. There is no security in simply having an email address or even cerb handle without a telephone number.

 

I for one require a call back number which is the minimum safety screening requirements, considering I do not ask for references.

[fortunateone 156618]

I would only add: Good luck finding a payphone these days.

 

I'm in an area where there used to be 6 on the main street which was about 8 blocks long, and all but one of those is gone. There are two skytrain stations also here, one has no payphones, the other you have to know and recognize where they are because one of them just looks like an emergency phone to contact skytrain staff.

 

While I will accept payphone calls to book, I would never book an appt by email only, so at some point before the appt can be confirmed by payphone, the client will have had to speak to me anyway.

 

I don't know what someone is trying to hide when they go thru too many steps to avoid doing what I simply ask them to do to book any appt. I also don't know why they don't want to talk to an sp personally before choosing to see her, because screening goes both ways, imo. :)

[neebleton 2940]

I personally have no issue with giving out a phone number (or a variety of other identifying and potentially harmful information), but I really would like some sort of statement from the SP I'm seeing about how long the information I'm giving her for screening/contact purposes is kept, how it will be used, and when it will be discarded.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I personally have no issue with giving out a phone number (or a variety of other identifying and potentially harmful information), but I really would like some sort of statement from the SP I'm seeing about how long the information I'm giving her for screening/contact purposes is kept, how it will be used, and when it will be discarded.

 

Some discuss this sort of thing on their websites. If you're seeing someone who doesn't, you can always ask.