d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted May 5, 2009 Now I do understand that not everyone is going to agree with me on this, however there are a few basic thoughts and rules at play in being in the hobby. These are rules that I have always lived with and policies that I have always maintained. First off the total attitude of the visit, this is a fantasy and a roll playing situation. The ladies can accommodate a variety of rolls and have a variety of scripts that they are comfortable with. We try to find ladies with a repertoire close to our fantasy i.e. girl next door, porn star, dominatrix. Just because a lady does a great girl next door does not mean that she can not also be a great Dominatrix. Many of us come into this hobby with a very naive understanding of the women in the industry and their past experience. I am not criticizing, these experiences are what make us who we are. All we should focus on is our time together and what our expectations are, the ladies in this business are not ?virgins? or ?innocent? but they can be for your hour or two. Don?t over think the visit just because a lady was reviewed as PSE last week on one of the boards don?t rule her out for your perfect ?X? experience. Enjoy your time together and don?t think about whom she saw yesterday or last week, this is a mood killer for both of you, trust me she has directly or indirectly done and been with everyone and everything. That is why we use basic precautions, and clearly it is working, we do not seem to have a high incidence of health issues. Like wise ladies the reality is your client has been with enough other ladies to be in the same category (guys if you see 3 or 4 ladies a year than exponentially you are far from pure), if it makes it easier than for that hour or 2 he sees no one but you. If you give the ladies the information they need to give you the fantasy you desire you will go a long way to a happy encounter. Sex and acts of love making are very intense and emotional that is why some of us are addicts (Yes I admit ?Hello my name is Dummpy and I am a sex addict?) If you find someone that is truly special than emotions will become involved and your relationship will grow (not necessarily the way you or the SP wants) that is why some of the members rarely repeat and have a buffer of several ladies between visits. No your emotional thresholds and try to keep them in check. The reality is that we are a pay cheque, do not over step your relationship. As with any profession friendships are formed but don?t overstep the bounds of the basic profession, our roll is to provide a pay cheque don?t forget that part. And ladies your roll is to maintain the fantasy many of the guys here are not interested in the real you and it will scare them. Over time we become desensitized to the emotions and it creates havoc in our real lives, most ladies can not have an intimate lover as they are no longer interested in sex. Men we no longer want to be with our SO because they cannot compare to the fantasies that the ladies provide. At the end of the visit after the fantasy has played out move on until the next appointment. Ladies if you ask for a favor outside of the regular constraints of the fantasy expect this to change the dynamics, we men have no idea about your world and if you give us a view we may not like what we see. Don?t get confused between reality and the fantasy, the fun for both sides is from the ability to create rolls and persona?s, am I actually a dwarf experienced in Midget porn and Midget wrestling? Does Cowboy Kenny actually own a horse? Don?t believe everything you see and read, and don?t try to shatter the illusions or the fantasy because trust me it is very fragile and easy to break. Just like watching a B science fiction movie, you choose to believe or be a skeptic. You will enjoy the movie a lot more if you choose to believe (weren?t those tomatoes real). Ladies the best and most successful SP?s are excellent method actresses, don?t be afraid to immerse yourself in the roll for the time that you are paid for, but also don?t let your alter ego take over your life remember who you are and keep track of your regular life. Being able to switch the rolls on and OFF is critical to surviving this business. Guy?s fantasy is always going to beat reality that is the basics of being a drug addict or gambling addict or sex addict. Drug users create a fantasy world and use the drugs to escape to it, gamblers imagine the big win and how that will change there life ?649 imagine the freedom? and we step into our own fantasies when we see a lady, the grass is not greener, be thankful for the things in your real life too. Interestingly enough over the years I have made some lasting friendships, I have had some disasters as well. The key thing about being friends is you have to develop understandings, you leave yourself open to be hurt and sometimes you do get hurt. Don?t be afraid to forgive and try not to hurt anyone along the way, don?t place a lot of ?conditions? on your friendship and they may be long lasting. I guarantee that if you do place conditions on your friendships (you are my friend until you do this? or we were friends but you did that?) you won?t have many, friendship requires 2 people that are willing to learn to understand each other and that takes some mistakes and learning along the way, obviously forgiveness is part of that. There is very little in life as rewarding as a long term friend. Just some thoughts I have had in reflection over the weekend, if you got this far congratulations! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brandi 231 Report post Posted May 5, 2009 some of us are addicts (Yes I admit ?Hello my name is Dummpy and I am a sex addict?) Hello Dummpy, my name is Brandi Delicious and I am a sex addict too. Nice to meet you. Would you like to get naked? lol Brandi xoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted May 5, 2009 Hello Dummpy, my name is Brandi Delicious and I am a sex addict too. Nice to meet you. Would you like to get naked? lol Brandi xoxo Well it could be your reward for getting that far in the reading :) I do find myself staring at your beautiful face :-P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted May 5, 2009 Interesting thoughts, as always Dummpy. I would agree with you that many people seem to take this more seriously that they should - it's paid sex for fun, after all - and with a fantasy if you want it, nothing more than that, though very enjoyable. You're also right about the long-term friends part. Hardly ever happens and if it does, you both have to work at it, just like any good relationship in real life. But really good when it does happen, just like in real life. Personally, though, I'm not afraid of seeing an SP's real life. Maybe after many years and many relationships, I've become pretty much of a realist. But I don't mind real life with real people, including SPs. And so I'm not into GFE and PSE as a fantasy, but just as modes of having sex for fun. It's a fun professional relationship when it works. And there's nothing wrong with being nice and being friendly, even within a professional client-SP relationship. And once in a while, you may even find a good freind where the relationship actually extends beyound the professional. And there's a genunie human connection both in and out of bed. Though usually the professional relationship will also still be there as well. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted May 6, 2009 dude...that was like so...like....deep man..Imean soooo deep and .....weell...duuuude!...awsome You are one interesting person..I am glad to know you here..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wet_dreamz 104 Report post Posted May 6, 2009 Some excellent observations being made and although I've never given this matter the indepth thought so well articulated above, my own perspective is that I very much enjoy the "fantasy" aspect of being with a lovely lady of "my" choosing for a momentary escape from reality, a mini-vacation of sorts if you care to call it that. It's simply so nice to be with someone who accepts me for what I am, albeit ever so briefly. I wouldn't call myself a "sex addict;" I am more of a social animal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alexgrenyait 2186 Report post Posted May 7, 2009 excellent thread dumpy!xoxoalex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
