Misconception

[Ulysse77 339]

What is in your opinion the biggest misconception the general public has of this industry?

[mod 135640]

Easy ...

First One is LEGAL:

Most people in Canada think prostitution in Canada is illegal. It is actually perfectly legal (if you follow the law correctly). It is not a "gray" area either... if done in private (not in a bawdy house IE. Regular place of prostitution) like a hotel room or out call to the guys house... with no public solicitation with someone over 18 and no one other then the lady herself is making money from the call... it's completely legal here in Canada. People need to stop watching American TV and thinking we follow some sort of American law!

 

Second: Drugs.

People assume that all ladies in this industry serious drug addicts and are in it to support drug habits. I have never met a serious drug addict who owns a computer - let along uses one.

 

Third: STI/STD's

Probably 100 times more safe with a pro who uses condoms as opposed to the girl you picked up drunk in the bar and "took a uncovered chance with!" most of the ladies practice safe sex as being sick with a sti/std is not good for business!!

 

Fourth: Pimps and forced prostitution

Steetwalkers and escorts are often grouped into the same group. Not the same!

Fifth: Ladies taken advantage of.

Often people think this is done against the ladies will or she is being taken advantage of...

[LeeRichards 177238]

The reason why ladies do this for a living ?

 

 

Common thought I believe is because the ladies are forced to or they have to to survive.....both unfortunately very true as history proves

 

 

What is missed in public perception and I learned quickly is that guess what....it can be by choice ! ......sex is awesome, meeting new and good people is awesome, travelling and seeing the country although hectic is awesome, working out of home and on your own schedule is awesome...

etc... etc...

 

 

Like any other job you work....take the good with the bad .....and flip the bird to the taboo public perception. I have met some amazing ladies. Simple as that.

 

 

and of course I am an old dirty hard done by John that "can't get no satisfaction" elsewhere ;) ha

[neebleton 2940]

While not the biggest, one misconception certainly is that clients are awful, lecherous, sleazy, abusive, diseased and violent people.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Yes, there are definitely misconceptions surrounding both the providers and the hobbyists. I was one of those people who perceived this lifestyle as anything but positive awhile back. Curiosity got the better of me and I am so very happy that I was able to quell the negativity through first hand experience. I can say that I am proud of what I do but wish that the veil of secrecy could be lifted without any negative fallout. Change always takes time I guess but thank you to those of you brave enough to visibly fight for the cause (I admire you ladies greatly!)

[roamingguy 300292]

I too wish the veil of secrecy could be lifted. While more so an issue for the ladies, I wish I could share with family and friends some of the absolute amazing ladies I have met since embarking on this lifestyle. Ladies who are intelligent, down to earth, have a sense of humour, and at least for me, my encounters with these ladies have been more fulfilling, rewarding and memorable than any relationships I've had. But more than likely, I'd either be asked for the intimate details (which I don't share even on CERB) or be told "RG, I know someone you'd like, she's a real nice girl, would you like to meet her" (god not another blind date)

This lifestyle is mutually beneficial, for both the ladies and gentlemen. It isn't about exploiting women for men's gratification, it is about respect for one another

And it is about more than just sex, it is about companionship. There is, at least if you allow for it, a social interpersonal aspect to this lifestyle.

One that is every bit as important if not more in an encounter as the sexual side

Finally, more as a side note. How is uncomplicated no strings no drama sex for money so stigmatized? If you date, how many times do you take a women out for dinner (costs money btw) or out somewhere else before you go to bed with her. If the bar scene, well how many drinks (cost money btw) do you buy the woman, not to mention the possible underlying issue of sex with an intoxicated women, leading to the question did she really consent. And finally, marriage, aside from the cost of a ring, how much does it really cost.

A long winded rambling

RG

[Serena Blake 14066]

I think a big misconception is that all people involved are sleazy, unclean, or disrespectful. The funny thing is that it's actually the other way around. the people that are the uppity people that seem to think this treat others pretty crappy anyway.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Another misconception is we HATE what we do for a living. I am comfortable with myself in doing this line of work, I keep my own schedule, make great money and see who I want to see. I've seen so many people get verbally abused in other jobs and treated like garbage. And I've done those type of jobs too. So when people tell me that "I'm too good for this job", the convo ends pretty quickly.

[fortunateone 156618]

I agree with all the points by mod (and everyone else), but if I had to choose just one thing, it is 'all sps are diseased, carry diseases, and anyone visiting them is going to get one and pass it to their SO".

 

That is among the first questions newbie clients post on various boards, and among the first assumptions posted in comments whenever the topic comes up by random public people. The 2nd one would be coercion, but the first one tends to be STDs, as if sex workers are incapable of using condoms, or even consider using them.

[Serena Blake 14066]

Another misconception is we HATE what we do for a living. I am comfortable with myself in doing this line of work, I keep my own schedule, make great money and see who I want to see. I've seen so many people get verbally abused in other jobs and treated like garbage. And I've done those type of jobs too. So when people tell me that "I'm too good for this job", the convo ends pretty quickly.

 

I totally agree. if I didn't like my job it the time would definitely drag by like crazy. People try to tell me I'm too good of a preson to be doing this too. But really? The Best SP's are really good people.

 

another misconception is that this job is easy and the people that do it are just lazy. But it most definitely is not a profession for the lazy. Between the phone, the websites, the emails and all the planning and organizing, I don't get much slack time, its a full time job

[CristyCurves 169032]

A big misconception is that we don't pay taxes and are part of the "underbelly" of society. In general anything negative about a person is usually attributed to someone who is in this business-lifestyle- a preconceived notion for many. Unfortunately many people will continue to think negativly about this profession-lifestyle until someone in government has the balls to completely legalize it, allowing it to be treated like any other business. It should be understood that any business has and is run by people- good and bad.

There are doctors, lawyers, CEO's, CFO's, judges, people in all professions that abuse drugs, cheat, shirk the tax man, yet anytime someone is involved in the "sex" industry red flags arise and misconceptions are made. For those who openly admit to this being their occupation continue to represent yourselves as the ladies and gentlemen that you are, eventually and hopefully it will be yourselves that dispel all those misconceptions. After all, if we hold ourselves to higher standards it will be hard for others not to.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I agree with many of the previously listed misconceptions. To these I add my own list from the more social side.

 

Genuine Intimacy

 

Not to be confused with a romantic relationship, most people are unable to conceive that two people can have paid sex and yet still achieve a remarkable level of genuine intimacy. They do not understand that kissing and authentic touching occur in many encounters. This is not helped by the media that presents the sex workers as '------s that don't kiss'.

 

Repeat Visits

 

Tied in with the achieving intimacy above, I find most people do not understand that many client-provider relationships exist over multiple encounters. Intimacy may be possible in the first encounter but repeat encounters are the true area where intimacy is explored and expanded.

 

Non-Romantic

 

Again the media and society constantly look at this from a romantic angle and cannot understand how multiple, paid intimate encounters can be enjoyed by both sides with both still fully understanding and content that the relationship is non romantic. The 'Pretty Woman' view that repeat encounters are somehow supposed to evolve into romantic relationships is generally not the case.

 

True Mutual Sexual Enjoyment

 

I find there is a huge misconception that the paid companion 'endures' the encounter or takes it as simple, un-enjoyable work. That many women become genuinely sexually aroused and achieve orgasm with a broad range of clients based on their interpersonal interactions instead of physical attraction is completely misunderstood. Many simply cannot believe or understand that this can be an enjoyable encounter for providers.

 

Respect and Friendship

 

Often the general perception is paid sexual encounters are brief, one-time, non-intimate and thus they completely fail to understand that genuine respect almost constantly exists between client and provider. There is also virtually no understanding that repeat visits occur and that genuine fondness and some level of friendship evolves.

 

Of course not all these things above happen all the time or happen with all people. Some times the don't. A half-hour visit to a provider that doesn't speak your language isn't going to foster much deep interpersonal interaction.

 

However these aspects do exist. They are a big topic here on this board and to me something that 99% of the world is completely blind to understanding.

[cometman 35115]

For me, I did not know what to expect when I started visiting escorts. I think that the fact that I have to sneak out of home and sneak into an incall and then back home again made me think that this was perhaps entering the underbelly of society. Nothing could be further from the truth. That side of society is out there, bit a minimum of research ensures avoidance. I do tend to stick with the ladies of CERB and have not regretted that decision. Whether I interact with them on this forum much or not, I watch their interaction with others and that provides me with an insight into their personality....huge for compatibility. I have been invited into hotel rooms, apartments, and private homes and have never been disappointed with the visit. If they are acting, they are doing it very well, because genuine enjoyment is hard to fake. Either personalities mesh or they do not. A visit with a professional escort is a no bs adventure in pleasure......100 times less fraught with peril than an affair. One other thing.......if anyone has a chance to attend a CERB social, I highly recommend it. I was an attendee in Halifax and got to meet, talk to, and observe my fellow guests. Meeting these ladies (and gentlemen) in a social setting was really a highlight for me.

[Gentleman11 10508]

First off I want to say thanks and well done to Ulysse77 for starting the thread and Mod for hammering it home right off the bat. The biggest misconception in my humble view is the grouping together of everyone involved in hobbying / escorting / massage industry or whatever you want to call it and painting them with one stereotypical label. As in any profession there are good and bad apples and some just plain rotten ones. I have had most of my experiences with the best varieties, the "honey crisps" or the best of the fruit and thoroughly enjoy it!

 

I know many people who are involved in other less-than-favorably-perceived professions (i.e. politicians, real estate agents, used car salespersons) who constantly have to fight being grouped together with all the bad apples in their repective professions. I just wish more of Canadian society could be more understanding, empathetic and appreciative of the contributions our industry makes to our society.

 

Musings from a guys who appreciates CERB and our industry.

[roamingguy 300292]

Another misconception is that this is somehow an immoral, unethical activity.

It is a mutually beneficial lifestyle. It is uncomplicated no strings no drama fun, not to mention it fulfills a real human need, physical intimacy.

Yes, friendships can develop, but love stays out of it, meaning at an emotional level, risks to relationships shouldn't happen, as long as discretion is excercised

How does that compare to "civilian" life where affairs take place. Not only sexual infidelity, but emotional infidelity too. And much more risk to damage/destroy existing relationships than seeing escorts.

Also, I've, at work, seen a lot of female co-workers who have "accidental" pregnancies after a hook up (one night stand). My point, escorts are far more religious about safe sex than a lot of women and men in "civilian" life. Kinda goes against the stereotype about seeing escorts is high risk for STD/STI

Some ramblings from a guy who has met many ladies in this lifestyle who are class acts that have enriched my life

RG

[VedaSloan 119179]

Since most of the big ones have already been said, I'm going to add:

 

The idea that sex workers are bad parents, or that they can't be around kids (eg. as teachers) if they've had a past in the sex industry.

[Serena Blake 14066]

:

 

The idea that sex workers are bad parents, or that they can't be around kids (eg. as teachers) if they've had a past in the sex industry.

 

 

That definitely is a good one. I must say when I way younger and ignorant to the world I actually believed this stuff myself. That all girls were street walkers on drugs that shouldn't even have had the kids that they had taken away.

Not to insult anyone if they have or known any girls that have walked the streets. I still haven't met any. But as I said I was ignorant to the world and brought up religious so of course it wasn't considered "gods way" but I've grown up and realized that there is sooo much out there and you can't follow the ideals of the small minded.

The way I figure it is Jesus hung out with Mary Magdalene. Some Theists will actually argue that in the unpublished volumes of the bible (do to hints through out the bible) that Jesus had actually taking a bride and there was conspiracy do to the fact that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute

[Guest S****r]

Yeah, I used to believe most of those misconceptions named by the mod, before I began asking people actually involved in the industry. Then once I decided to take a chance and plunge in, I found out just how far off base those misconceptions are. I am so glad I took the chance and found out the real situation!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

That we all need to be saved. Back off Captain Save a Ho! lol.

[roamingguy 300292]

Since most of the big ones have already been said, I'm going to add:

 

The idea that sex workers are bad parents, or that they can't be around kids (eg. as teachers) if they've had a past in the sex industry.

 

And to add to Berlin's post, that gentlemen who see ladies are also bad parents (or uncles in my case)

I have a nephew I love, and being in this lifestyle doesn't affect my relationship with my nine year old nephew at all

RG

[Guest Ou**or**n]

The one that drives me bananas is when you hear discussions of ladies working in residential areas or apartments and you get that 'I don't want my kids potentially being in contact or exposed to the the clients that visit'. Like every guy that sees a sex worker is a sexual deviant who at any second will pounce and do who knows what to their children. Makes leper colonies of old look like a mature way of managing things.

[fortunateone 156618]

The one that drives me bananas is when you hear discussions of ladies working in residential areas or apartments and you get that 'I don't want my kids potentially being in contact or exposed to the the clients that visit'. Like every guy that sees a sex worker is a sexual deviant who at any second will pounce and do who knows what to their children. Makes leper colonies of old look like a mature way of managing things.

 

 

It's not the sex, it's the drugs they don't want their kids around.

 

Because as they all know, sps are also buying (and I guess selling?) drugs to all these guys who come by at 3AM.

 

Plus in order to pay the sp (and all those drugs), these guys (you guys) are breaking into their cars and apartments to steal stuff. Then they are loitering around, even if they've already seen the sp, for who knows what reason, because I don't know why they would be hanging around if they've already picked up/dropped off their drugs AND had their bjs..

 

:)

[VedaSloan 119179]

The one that drives me bananas is when you hear discussions of ladies working in residential areas or apartments and you get that 'I don't want my kids potentially being in contact or exposed to the the clients that visit'. Like every guy that sees a sex worker is a sexual deviant who at any second will pounce and do who knows what to their children. Makes leper colonies of old look like a mature way of managing things.

 

Someone said to me once, "what about all the kids you're influencing?!" and I said, "Yes, I go to the kindergarten every day to lecture the little ones about the joys of hooking." Are these people for real?

[Ulysse77 339]

Well i never tought to create so much interest. This is very interesting.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Was about to start a new thread and found this one, thought I'd bump it

 

For me personally, these are the misconceptions that get to me:

 

People that think independent workers see clients for the entire duration of their posted hours. If an independent lady posts that she is available between 12-8, it doesn't mean she's seeing 8 one-hour clients. I know I could not possibly see that many clients, and wouldn't want to - I wouldn't have any time for ME. Most girls I know see a selected number of clients within that time frame - it's not a revolving door of men. We post the hours we're willing to see clients during, then go about our lives based upon the appointments we have booked.

 

And in my personal life, I've found many guys who assume that I must be an easy lay, and sleep around personally, because I'm an escort. Which isn't the case.