Jealous Dancers?

[ottlad 281]

I think this is ok to post hear. I am sorry if its in the wrong section.

 

There is this one stripper I have seen a few times, sort of a regular. WE ever swapped mobile numbers. While I do ejoy getting dances from her I also like soe other dancers too. She acts annoyed when I do almosy like a jealous GF. We are not romantically involved in any way and I find it strange she acts like that. The only reason I think she does act that way is because she probably wants to save her investment. I'm not impressed by this and want to stop seeing her. But I'm afraid she might go crazy on me. How can I get out of this situation? IT unfortunately might mean to stop going to a certain club.

 

Any advice?

[Guest **oo**e]

Buy her a drink. Sit down with her. Tell her you're wired like most other men to enjoy variety. That you would like to get some dances from her from time to time but also from the other girls. Just address it point blank and don't give into the intimidation. She loves your $.

 

 

I think this is ok to post hear. I am sorry if its in the wrong section.

 

There is this one stripper I have seen a few times, sort of a regular. WE ever swapped mobile numbers. While I do ejoy getting dances from her I also like soe other dancers too. She acts annoyed when I do almosy like a jealous GF. We are not romantically involved in any way and I find it strange she acts like that. The only reason I think she does act that way is because she probably wants to save her investment. I'm not impressed by this and want to stop seeing her. But I'm afraid she might go crazy on me. How can I get out of this situation? IT unfortunately might mean to stop going to a certain club.

 

Any advice?

[Ashley Ann 75247]

If this really is the case, not trying to be rude with this statement, its just that there is always 2 sides to a story :)

 

But, if this really is the case-she is not only coming off as childish, she is also very unprofessional. She is not your GF, she is a dancer providing a service in which you pay for.

 

IMO, there is no need to avoid her club, especially if you like it there, this is her issue, not yours.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Some (minority) dancers consider their regulars as their own property. This happens more often than you think. They even fight (physically) with the other dancers who may have had dances with their regular or intimidate or threaten them not to have any dancers anymore in the future. It is very unfortunate Worse in Montreal but happens in Ottawa too especially in lower class clubs. I think it is more economic than romantic but I could be wrong.

 

Not to be rude but it could be also partly your fault. If you go to a club regularly and see (have dances) with only one dancer and come out for extended period of time she considers that as part of her regular income. If she sees that interrupted or shared with someone else, then she may get upset about it as she loses the income she has been counting on.

 

What to do, my option was to tell her directly that I am here for variety and I like to have dances with others too. they may be some backclash as this was the case (in Montreal) on one occasion but to stop going to the club and seeing other favorite dancers was not my option. I was still seeing her but not as many dances as I used to. I didn't wish to cut her off suddenly.

 

It is hard times especially dancers have been hard hit as we all know, so my advice if you care about her, then don't cut her off suddenly but gradually and in a respectful manner. My 2 cents.

[Bridgette 10998]

Some (minority) dancers consider their regulars as their own property.

 

This is true. I know quite a few dancers who are very possessive about their regulars, and get angry when they so much as talk to other dancers. Given how this dancer is acting towards you now, I wouldn't be surprised if things took a catty turn if you started seeing other dancers in that club in lieu of spending money on her as you usually do. That said, it's your money and you have the right to spend it however you please, so don't feel like you owe her anything just because you've visited her in the past. It's not like she exclusively dances for you, so you aren't obligated to get dances exclusively from her.

 

You could certainly go the route of being direct: next time you're at the club and are interested in getting dances from someone other than her but she approaches you, tell her you're happy to see her but are waiting on someone else this time. Be prepared for her to not take this well, but it's not like she is going to get violent or have you thrown out, so the worst that'll happen is that she'll make a few bitchy comments and shoot death glares your way during the rest of your time in the club.

 

Otherwise, short of switching clubs - which would be a shame if you like this club because of its location or roster of girls - you could just pick a different day or time to visit. I imagine you know this dancer's schedule, so by avoiding when she works, you could avoid a messy situation. There's still the chance that you'll run into her anyway, but that's sort of inevitable if you keep going to this club.

 

I hope this works out for you and you can keep visiting this club and seeing a variety of girls without any drama though!

[Phaedrus 209521]

Tell her that you're quite happy to stick to just getting dances from her, but in return she has to promise not to ever get dances from any other guys in the club. That seems fair to me :)

 

Failing that... yes, you may just have to tell her to stop being so damn possessive. Realistically, she has a choice between getting dances from you sometimes, and getting dances from you never. If she stops to think for a moment, the sensible choice is obvious.

[Athos 108589]

Tell her that you're quite happy to stick to just getting dances from her, but in return she has to promise not to ever get dances from any other guys in the club. That seems fair to me :)

 

Failing that... yes, you may just have to tell her to stop being so damn possessive. Realistically, she has a choice between getting dances from you sometimes, and getting dances from you never. If she stops to think for a moment, the sensible choice is obvious.

 

Exactly ... and the reality is that is she continues to make it uncomfortable for you you'll end up having to go to another club completely. I've known this to happen as a result of possessive dancers.

 

A long time ago there was a dancer I tended to be a regular with. Since i didn't get to the club very often, I usually would see her when I did. This one night I had arranged to see her at the club in advance, and she was late getting there. No problem. Several dancers approached me, and I declined. When "my" dancer arrived, she asked if I'd gone for any dances. I told her no, but that I'd been tempted. She actually wanted to know who had asked me, so she could tell them to lay off in the future. I know I'm not that big a prize, but clearly my wallet was. I went back very infrequently after that, and was usually relieved if she wasn't working.

 

Crazy!

 

Porthos

[LusciousLaceyxo 1642]

Lol there are so many immature dancers like that ! If they were confident like me , they would let them try out other girls knowing that they would come back ;P or even better , bring one in for a duo =) Variety is always good ! Jealousy just makes a dancer ugly !

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

WE ever swapped mobile numbers.

 

Just curious about this statement?

As Vanessa said there are 2 sides to every story.

IMO you took it outside the club and changed the context of the relationship from dancer and customer to something else.

You probably should have said thanks but no thanks at that time.

 

J

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Think outside of the box and find a sexy lady from Cerb(they are all sexy) and book an hour or 2 and have fun. Forget about her and her friends, and if you go back there after a few weeks just tell her you found yourself another hobby and that you had a lot of fun.

Sorry for being so direct but she don't own you and you are allowed to have your fun without someone else telling you who you should see or not.

[Athos 108589]

Just curious about this statement?

As Vanessa said there are 2 sides to every story.

IMO you took it outside the club and changed the context of the relationship from dancer and customer to something else.

You probably should have said thanks but no thanks at that time.

 

J

 

Dancers often will exchange numbers with regular clients to let them know their schedule. If she can ensure that regulars are there during her shift it increases control, cuts down competition and guarantees business.

 

I've exchanged numbers with dancers and usually kept things in the club. But I do agree it's generally not a good idea to take things outside the club.

 

Porthos

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Dancers often will exchange numbers with regular clients to let them know their schedule. If she can ensure that regulars are there during her shift it increases control, cuts down competition and guarantees business.

 

I've exchanged numbers with dancers and usually kept things in the club. But I do agree it's generally not a good idea to take things outside the club.

 

Porthos

 

Well I guess she is increasing control. LOL.

 

I'm not a SC guy (I've been once in the last 20 years) so I am clueless as to what the dynamic is but once you exchange anything outside the compensation (time, services, money, gifts) then it makes things more complicated.

If a stripper asked for my number I would assume that it implies something more than the business angle or some type of upgraded business relationship.

 

Like I said it was an interesting statement.

 

J

[Guest **n****er]

Well I guess she is increasing control. LOL.

 

I'm not a SC guy (I've been once in the last 20 years) so I am clueless as to what the dynamic is but once you exchange anything outside the compensation (time, services, money, gifts) then it makes things more complicated.

If a stripper asked for my number I would assume that it implies something more than the business angle or some type of upgraded business relationship.

 

Like I said it was an interesting statement.

 

J

Now-a-days number exchange with a stripper is ONLY about business and nothing more. As Porthos said it's usually to let the client know when she's working. I think there was a decent sized thread on this a few months ago.

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

I experience this with one girl at a club. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl but, like many of us here, I go out to have fun, spend time with lovely girls and take it easy.

 

We message regularly, even if not about me going to club but it got to a point where I am not comfortable anymore. We talked and she goes through the roof if I mention seeing another girl. Now I do not feel comfortable going to this club although I love the place. I know the staff, spend a lot of time talking to them and get invited to special events. I do not want to change club but I feel stuck.

 

Any suggestions? feel free to PM me plse.

[Bridgette 10998]

I experience this with one girl at a club. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl but, like many of us here, I go out to have fun, spend time with lovely girls and take it easy.

 

We message regularly, even if not about me going to club but it got to a point where I am not comfortable anymore. We talked and she goes through the roof if I mention seeing another girl. Now I do not feel comfortable going to this club although I love the place. I know the staff, spend a lot of time talking to them and get invited to special events. I do not want to change club but I feel stuck.

 

Any suggestions? feel free to PM me plse.

 

If you're not comfortable with the direct approach (ie. just telling her you don't want to spend time with her that evening, or letting her know via text before your arrival if you know she'll be working) and assuming you have a good idea of when this dancer works, I think your best bet is to just go to the club when she's not around. I suppose you could also message her asking for her schedule or call the club and ask when she's working, and then just purposefully go in when she's not there to avoid things getting ugly. Unfortunately, other than being direct, I don't think there's any better way to deal with a dancer like this. It's just inevitable that it will be uncomfortable for a while if you're both in the club at the same time.

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

I agree with you Bridgette. I try being direct but it blows up in my face. This situation has built up to this point and I am the first to admit I should have seen this coming and put a stop to it early... but I didn't...

 

In any case, I agree with you and will avoid times when I think she might be there. She is normally a late night girl so if I go and leave early I may avoid her...

 

Thank you for your comments, appreciated :)

[Bridgette 10998]

I'm sorry you've been put in such a lame situation where being direct only makes things worse. In an ideal club, all of the dancers would be happy about customers spreading the wealth, so to speak.

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

It'll sort itself out with time I guess if I'm careful. Thanks Bridgette :)

[whiteman 14028]

I've not really experienced this in the stripclub world, but I have experienced this in the past in the massage world. One girl I used to see would get other girls fired from their spa if she found out any of her regulars were seeing them.

 

As far as the stripclub scene, I tend to keep dancers limited to a specific number of dances, so they don't start getting all possessive on me, even if the dances are going extraordinarily. I learned this after watching a friend of mine spending way too much money on individual dancers. They'd start acting possessive of him.

[Guest *l**e]

This has happened to me several times. I often go to clubs for some fun, and because I have money, some dancers want me every time i go..

For me, I have had to be quite direct and simply tell them that although I enjoyed my dances with them, today i wants me a little strange!!

 

I make it clear that I enjoy variety and want to try someone new. If I sense even the smallest bit if hostility, possessiveness or jealousy, they never get another dollar from me again.

 

I'm the customer and the customer is always right. I have the right to spend my money on anyone I want.

[Dipper 1033]

Although I do agree that a client is no one`s possession, what if you were receiving more benefits in the cr than she would provide to a first time customer. I`m not saying that she should have exclusive rights on you but could she interpret your attitude as a lack of respect for having provided you with benefits.

 

A few years back, I was stricly dancing with one lady at a certain club. I would say that I did get special priviliges in the cr. Other regular ladies at that club knew that I strictly danced with her but they would still once in a while sit with me simply to chat. She would never rush to come sit with us and claim her `` property``.

 

I had no problem with this sort of arrangement as I was more than happy with the way she treated me but I can appreciate than your lady me be somewhat offended if your were getting prerefencial treatment. Again, we may be no one`s possession but we may still hurt someone`s feeling if we were their `regular` for a period of time.

 

In your situation, it`s a bit like breaking up... someone will get hurt.... but it will go away.

[whiteman 14028]

Although I do agree that a client is no one`s possession, what if you were receiving more benefits in the cr than she would provide to a first time customer. I`m not saying that she should have exclusive rights on you but could she interpret your attitude as a lack of respect for having provided you with benefits.

Although it feels like she's doing something exclusively for you, but in reality there is nothing a dancer does for any one customer that she doesn't also do for many other customers.

[Dipper 1033]

I do agree with you Whiteman.. it`s a business and a client is an investment. What I`m trying to say is that a lady may be giving you more then a usual cr experience is supposed to be. That she, may have gone further for you ( yes, most probably other clients). So why be surprised that their may be some resentment. ``<I give you more, why are you looking elsewhere`...........

 

We all know that men are wondering creatures but we should not be offended that this lady may be disappointed.

 

If the OP likes the club, my opinion is that he still goes and take the evil eyes once in a while. Most likely, the lady will just ignore him........

[whiteman 14028]

I do agree with you Whiteman.. it`s a business and a client is an investment. What I`m trying to say is that a lady may be giving you more then a usual cr experience is supposed to be. That she, may have gone further for you ( yes, most probably other clients). So why be surprised that their may be some resentment. ``<I give you more, why are you looking elsewhere`...........

As you can see, in your own answer lies the contradiction. She may have gone further for you, ... as well as for other clients, too? If she's gone further for other clients too, then that's not going further for you: that's just going her usual way!

 

I've been in this hobby a long, long time, and there's no such thing as exclusivity in this business. There's nothing a girl does for you, that she doesn't also do for half-a-dozen other guys. I'm not saying this as a criticism of the girls, but just as a warning to some guys not to mistake it as a sign of love.

 

We all know that men are wondering creatures but we should not be offended that this lady may be disappointed.

The main reason a guy might want to try out other girls is simply because he will want to know if some other girl does something differently. He won't know unless he tries her. Also he won't know if there's even better things that can be had, unless he tries her.

[Bridgette 10998]

We all know that men are wondering creatures but we should not be offended that this lady may be disappointed.

 

Agreed. The beauty of strip clubs is that there is a variety of dancers vying for your attention, and you have the option of spending time with any of them. While it's true that a dancer may be disappointed if a regular client gets dances with a different dancer, it's perfectly within his rights to do that.

 

I've been in this hobby a long, long time, and there's no such thing as exclusivity in this business. There's nothing a girl does for you, that she doesn't also do for half-a-dozen other guys. I'm not saying this as a criticism of the girls, but just as a warning to some guys not to mistake it as a sign of love.

 

As a dancer, I agree. It's true that many dancers treat their regular clients differently than one-time clients (be it by sitting and chatting for longer, having less strict boundaries in the CR, or what have you) but it's neither an exclusive service to one client and that client alone nor a reason to feel bad about spending money on other dancers.

 

I know I said it before, but unless an exclusive relationship is explicitly established between the dancer and the client, the dancer has no right to get anything more than disappointed over it - regardless of what added benefits she has offered to the client for his repeated visits.