Dipper 1033 Report post Posted December 9, 2012 I don`t see a contradiction. So what if other may have received the same treatment. I never mentioned that I thought that I was the only one getting treated that way. And there was no love involved...... just feeling comfortable with the situation and the relationship. We could argue night and day about this, it comes down to your personal feelings. All I was trying to say is that you are still getting treated above what may be considered above average and that it most likely why a lady may feel being `betrayed` by a regular customer. I have no problem with the way you think about this subject, you may feel different about it and that`s what this board is all about. You can express yourself and you may disagree with someone else but it`s all done respectfully ( not that I thought you were disrecpectful). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cgnex 1616 Report post Posted December 9, 2012 Hi Bridgette, While I agree with the logic and I'm very impressed that you're able to be so pragmatic about it, I'm not sure that is a realistic a reaction for many people. As much as anyone has a right to choose how they spend their money, any time people are involved we have to consider human nature and emotion. I think its great that you're able to be very rational about it, but I can empathize with a dancer who might not take it as well. Not saying its right; just human frailty. As an example, I am a business owner in a completely different field and I work very hard to satisfy my clients. If I learned that a long standing client decided to work with one of my competitors, I would be hurt. Yes, my client has every right to choose a different supplier, but that right doesn't mean I would not feel slighted. I'd get over it and try to learn from it, but my immediate reaction would have a degree of emotion. I suspect, for a dancer, the line of work could leave some feeling more vulnerable to feelings of rejection in this case. There is nothing more personal or emotional than fear of rejection. I struggle with this when I go to strip clubs because I am usually pretty selective about who I take for a dance. I generally have a longer than average conversation to see if we're a good fit, so once I go for a dance, I feel reasonably invested. If the chemistry isn't there in the CR, I'll cut it short but find it awkward explaining to someone who I had great conversational chemistry with that I am not interested in any more dances. I know I have every right to not take any more dances, and I don't, but think its reasonable for the dancer to be less than thrilled. Bottom line, I think its worth making a distinction between what is technically and logically correct vs. what is reasonable to expect based on human nature. Additional Comments: Additional Comments: Two quick clarifications. Bridgette, I was responding to one of your earlier messages without taking the full context int account. I also believe I incorrectly attributed someone else's comment to you. So, after a quick reread, I think you were acknowledging both the logic and emotional aspects. Sorry to mischaracterize your position. Second, when I don't feel chemistry after a long conversation, I DO tip for the time. I just find its still awkward because a greater expectation has been formed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bridgette 10998 Report post Posted December 10, 2012 So, after a quick reread, I think you were acknowledging both the logic and emotional aspects. Sorry to mischaracterize your position. Second, when I don't feel chemistry after a long conversation, I DO tip for the time. I just find its still awkward because a greater expectation has been formed. No worries! It is certainly understandable that a dancer would feel disappointed or hurt by a regular client preferring to spend time with a different dancer, but I just don't think it justifies her blowing up at him or making him feel bad about it. And while rejection is incredibly personal, dancing is an industry in which girls have to have a thick skin about it because it happens on a regular basis, ranging from patrons waving a girl off as she approaches their table, to clients cutting dances short due to a lack of chemistry, to a regular client spending time with a different dancer. It's part of the job, and a dancer simply can't take each rejection to heart or else it'll really mess with her. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cgnex 1616 Report post Posted December 10, 2012 to clients cutting dances short due to a lack of chemistry Just to clarify, I didn't mean that I would stop mid-dance. That would be very rude and insensitive. If chemistry was not there, I would gently thank her after one dance and not continue for addtional dances - tipping for the extended conversation time. That seems fair and reasonable to both parties. I think we're in agreement across the board? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvmuffins 1764 Report post Posted January 9, 2013 I'm in a slightly similar situation of the OP, but I know of no fighting going on between dancers. It's been a very short lived time with this one dancer, with long times in the CR with little action. We've exchange numbers, and she asks when am I coming back. I say very soon as I can't say no to her, but we've spent too much time in the CR just talking. So, one evening I was approached by this gorgeous babe, and we started chatting, then about 30 minutes later we head up for some privacy. Well, this other dancer saw me in the CR with a lot more heated action going on, more than had ever occurred between us. Later she came up to me when I was back at my table. She asked why I was with this dancer and why I didn't ask her to do what she saw with her as well. I was made to feel like I cheated on her! I told her "it just happened naturally", and that I didn't ask the other dancer to do it, "it just happened". I also said I didn't ask for it, and would feel uncomfortable asking any dancer to do a certain act. She rolled her eyes, I could tell she was pissed off, then said "I'm not dancing for you anymore", then left. OMG, what is a guy to do! You go out to get away from all the stress at home, and it's the same thing wherever you go! I don't want to say anything to anyone at the club as I'm not one to create trouble for someone. What to do, what to do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peachka 4334 Report post Posted January 9, 2013 What to do, what to do? Go back to the club and get the 'gorgeous babe' to dance for you again, and try to make sure the other dancer sees it again! BTW if you are going upstairs to get to the CR, you are at one of two clubs in the Ottawa area. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigBud 1165 Report post Posted February 18, 2013 I agree with Whiteman. I've only had this experience a couple of times - both several years ago, and both made me feel uncomfortable. Usually, once a lady knows you (after a couple of conversations / CR visits), she'll come and say hello when she sees you - and other ladies will walk by. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goombata72 1556 Report post Posted March 2, 2013 Here is what happen with me. One dancer I have been seeing from early January at her club stopped other dancers from offering me dances. It was like I was her bf and she then started talking to me about going for drinks or a movie and dinner. I said that would be great. So we made plans to go for dinner and movie on her night off. I went to pick her up and she stood me up. I thought all right should of seen that coming but didn't. The next time I went to the club she came up to me and said sorry had something happened at her other job and she couldn't get away to call me. She said that next weekend on her night off we would go out. I said sure showed up to pick her up and was told she got called into work. I went to the club to talk with her and the place was empty there was 10 ladies and about 2 guys including me. I was talking to the bartender and she told me she was there free lancing that night but because of the weather nobody was coming in. At that point I said to myself okay and took another dancer to the cr and had a great time. She was a little pissed at the other dancer for going with me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted March 2, 2013 At that point I said to myself okay and took another dancer to the cr and had a great time. She was a little pissed at the other dancer for going with me. I'd say if she's standing you up like that, then you're completely within your rights to not even have to explain it to her, but still I'd suggest explaining it to her. Make sure you explain that if she's not even going to bother showing up during agreed upon times, then you're going to see whoever you please during those times that she's stood you up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
conquistador 18487 Report post Posted March 2, 2013 Here is what happen with me. One dancer I have been seeing from early January at her club stopped other dancers from offering me dances. This should never happen, she should never own you like that. You still see her, i'm sure she knows when your are coming in but to stop other girls from seeing you is not right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted March 2, 2013 At that point I said to myself okay and took another dancer to the cr and had a great time. She was a little pissed at the other dancer for going with me. This appears to be a completely avoidable situation. Hobbying should not have any association with these circumstances!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted March 3, 2013 Jealousy runs much deeper in the club than what clients see out on the floor. Girls are very scandalous & love to talk badly on other dancers at the same club they work .. Some girls even take their dances so personally as to threaten other girls away from "their" clients .. Its a shame , rather pathetic .. If everyone was laid back, relax and concerned about themselves Im sure both clients & dancers would have a better time .. But competition is ALL OVER the industry , no matter what angle your looking at it from Jealousy is an ugly disease Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 I think you should marry her. She will never pay attention to you again. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goombata72 1556 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 Yes you are right it shouldn't of happened. Thing is it did and back in the day like many years back in the day when I dated ladies like her it was different. The other dancers understood I was the bf not the cr bf. They hung out with me when she was on stage or dancing in the cr. Now if I dated a dancer well I guess I wouldn't want her dancing for any other guy either so I see her point. Just didn't know I was her property. lol We have talked and I think its been straighten out between us. She is a great lady to be around and I enjoy her friendship and company. I was dating one lady for 3 years off and on it ended in 2001. Then in 2002 I met the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life and we got married had a child and she left me Oct 9 2012. I still love her but understand she doesn't want to be with me so I am trying to move forward. This dancer we hit off as friends and I think the reason she wanted the other dancers to stay away was because she didn't want me to be taken advantage of by some of the other dancers. Truth is IDK and will never know why things like that happen. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) Old Dog's advice is good, but only once..... be careful as you mend yourself! Edited March 3, 2013 by waterat 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IsaMassage 54318 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 ... I have seen it happen in the massage scene.. Its crazy sometimes how some ladies really get into their mind that if clients sees them in a regular basis they become "MY CLIENT" and get all upset if they find out someone else end up giving the client a massage... Gossiping and jelousy episodes go on behind close doors, I believe most of the time won't see it... Personally, like many of you have state, when you hobby most of the time is because you are looking for variety, new experiences, etc... Yes some closer relationships built with different people.., due to many different factors.. Chemistry, common interests.. Etc... Myself I actually encourage my cleints to see and try a different massage experience... I think many of you can say I have help them to come and meet other ladies that work with me if I think they will enjoy their time or is the type of girl they would like to meet :) Conclusion, noone owns clients, enjoy hobbying in the way you like to. Us as providers have to know the limits of our relationshipd with clients, even if we for any reason we think there is something special... We provide a service and we offer the best times while together, but if it is their decision to see someone else that is part of their personal life and is their choice... Also not forgetting that everyone includong ourselves have personal lifes aside from work and hobby in the gentlemen case. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 Yes, gossiping and jealousy lead to rumours, which, like diarrhea, are painful for those experiencing them and hard to stop. I totally acknowledge Vitto's approach..... we don't know what goes on nor how it goes on behind closed doors. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 Old Dog's advice is good but only once..... be careful as you mend yourself! Of course if you marry her, then the cost of looking at another dancer will be probably the equivalent of 25,000 trips to the champagne room at $20 a pop. I rescind my advice. Go to another establishment and wear a false moustache, perhaps a trench coat, and dark glasses. A fake limp and a cockatoo on your shoulder might add to your air of mystery. Seriously??? Take a step back. Your obligation is to compensate whatever entertainer you have engaged for the services and duration agreed upon. Whatever exceeds that obligation is entirely out of the scope of a business transaction. You like each other. Here's a solution: Share the wealth. Let her know that she is important and that you will spend half your CR money with her when she is there. Ask HER who SHE recommends for some of the other dances. That way, she builds bonds with the girls that she likes and you get to spend your hard earned cash with whom you desire. It's a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" analogy - she might actually benefit from you seeing the "competition" because some of their regulars might be more inclined to see your girl out of reciprocity. I know that I have had some wonderful CR experiences from dancers that my primary interest recommended... and from time to time a spontaneous duo has been my reward!!! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted March 3, 2013 This dancer we hit off as friends and I think the reason she wanted the other dancers to stay away was because she didn't want me to be taken advantage of by some of the other dancers. Is that what she told you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capital Hunter 18263 Report post Posted March 4, 2013 Jealousy runs much deeper in the club than what clients see out on the floor.Girls are very scandalous & love to talk badly on other dancers at the same club they work .. Some girls even take their dances so personally as to threaten other girls away from "their" clients .. Its a shame , rather pathetic .. If everyone was laid back, relax and concerned about themselves Im sure both clients & dancers would have a better time .. But competition is ALL OVER the industry , no matter what angle your looking at it from Jealousy is an ugly disease Jealousy is everywhere. It is human nature (fault) even among brothers and sisters, family members and friends unfortunately. People who are supposed to love and be loved. Much worse than jeolousy is Threat, intimidaion and harassment which run deep in our societies. Starts at high school with bullying by bigger ones and follows even after graduation into the work place and it is not limited to strip bars it is ALL OVER. Some work places and some countries worse than others but it is all over the planet. Yes jealousy is ugly ad uglier than that is harassment and intimidation at work and school and even at home thanks to the power of internet and as ugly as it is it exists and regret to acknowledge that and now spread to internet resulting in suicides. Education is needed to make people understand the evil of all these. This education should start at schools and carries to the very top at positions of powers. Remember drunk and driving was acceptable decades ago and now people are educated about its evils and harms it can do? We need a similar program for harassment at schools, work, society. If education didn't work on small minority then What we need are very harsh enforced laws against those who commit them. Those harassing especially of sexual or violent nature or those abusing the position of power to be fired, thrown in jails and locked up regardless of age and not allowed to be part of the free society. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoppinhorny 1219 Report post Posted March 4, 2013 I unfortunately was victim to a jealous dancer as well. It got to the point where if I even just stopped at a club for a drink I would get questioned. I finally had to tell her off, which then she went telling a lot of other girls to stay away from me. Things ended clearing up, but she made it unfun for some time for me and other people. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goombata72 1556 Report post Posted March 4, 2013 Is that what she told you? It is a feeling I got from her. I was talking to a freelancer and she left the guy she was talking to and came right up to me and sat in my lap and kissed me and said hey glad you came to see me. Then she looked at the other girl kinda like stay away or I'm gonna kick your ass look. lol. Truth is IDK and really I am not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for some fun. This dancer since January I haven't spent hardly anything on her. We have done maybe 20 to 30 cr dances in the 2 months and bought her a drink or 2. We have spent easily her entire shift together many of times. When the place is busy she comes and just sits with me while I watch the game on TV or have a few drinks. This lady is a good person and I would say almost 80% of the dancer I know would never just sit with a guy for hours when its busy. They gotta make the money and if that guy and paying most dancers ain't staying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted March 4, 2013 It is a feeling I got from her. I was talking to a freelancer and she left the guy she was talking to and came right up to me and sat in my lap and kissed me and said hey glad you came to see me. Then she looked at the other girl kinda like stay away or I'm gonna kick your ass look. lol. Truth is IDK and really I am not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for some fun. This dancer since January I haven't spent hardly anything on her. We have done maybe 20 to 30 cr dances in the 2 months and bought her a drink or 2. We have spent easily her entire shift together many of times. When the place is busy she comes and just sits with me while I watch the game on TV or have a few drinks. This lady is a good person and I would say almost 80% of the dancer I know would never just sit with a guy for hours when its busy. They gotta make the money and if that guy and paying most dancers ain't staying. Alright, then I guess if you're thinking this is going to lead to something, then you better mention to her directly that she better not stand you up again, without contacting you first. Does she have your contact number? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goombata72 1556 Report post Posted March 4, 2013 we are friends and friends with benefits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted March 5, 2013 we are friends and friends with benefits. Duh..... then you're posting on this thread because.... you're trolling?!? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
