Can a guy suck a cock and still be heterosexual?

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

As easy as it may sound, this is a very tricky question to answer. I, for sure, have my own answer that I can easily defend on logical grounds but I am very curious to hear what the CERBites will say.

 

Key Words: action - anal pleasure - prostate massage - actor - gay - bisexual - butch - feminine - musculine.

[OldBuck 1074]

I think your question confuses the act or action and a typing of the person.

 

So yes a man may engage in a homosexual act and still not"be" a homosexual.

 

Of course, another answer might be " who cares?"

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I say they are bi curious or bi sexual at most provided they still sleep with women.

[neebleton 2940]

Yes; there's a profound difference between an act and an orientation.

 

In fact, in gay porn (or sex work more broadly) there's an entire population of men and women who are 'gay for pay'. They maintain romantic relationships with the opposite sex/gender, but are willing to interact sexually with the same sex/gender for a certain amount of money.

[Paolo 110]

Well, I get the point, prevailing here, about expecting to transform into some radically different state of being and identity by sucking a cock once (although there's something kind of interesting if you could, like magic! I suck someone's genitalia once and all the planets realign....awesome! I'd probably transform back forth and sideways on a weekly basis with a fine blend of genders just to try it all out, find the best of all possible worlds, but that's just me).

 

The question the OP asked is maybe interesting on another level too, sort of more uncomfortable perhaps. I wonder if it goes to the tension of being able to explore something, even if it's just once that could be really erotic and sensual, and not leaving the "safe place" many of us guys were taught to be in. Have to stay in that good old straightjacket of heterosexuality or something's going to go horribly wrong, which is too damn bad as a tension that needs to exist. Such a constraint. I mean really, if you're a guy and you want to suck a cock, you should probably just get on with it (safely of course - I did it was great, and wow, I'm still me, I didn't break apart into something awful!), if you don't, well, fine. But things got tangled and its become so bloody subtle as a topic.

 

Should all be much freer for all of us really in a better world. I've noticed there are some on this board who seem genuinely free, and they stand out like heroes really.

 

Maybe there should be a new sexual orientation called "completely undecided", "not willing to decide" or "demo, purely exploratory, I might choose later or might not" no gender-based expectations associated whatsoever. That would be fun I'd say.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I HATE labels... Besides men, I also have sex with girls, but I do not consider myself bisexual in the least. I'm attracted to a certain type of person, it's not their gender that I care about. I think the best "label" for me is pansexual, but I don't really follow that.

 

A TG friend of mine once said something that really stuck with me.

 

"Gender has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality."

 

So my answer would be: Yes, a man can suck a cock and still be considered heterosexual.

 

I consider myself heterosexual, even though I've been known to wander into the Valley of the Vagina.

[Mister T 45020]

I HATE labels... Besides men, I also have sex with girls, but I do not consider myself bisexual in the least. I'm attracted to a certain type of person, it's not their gender that I care about. I think the best "label" for me is pansexual, but I don't really follow that.

 

A TG friend of mine once said something that really stuck with me.

 

"Gender has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality."

 

So my answer would be: Yes, a man can suck a cock and still be considered heterosexual.

 

I consider myself heterosexual, even though I've been known to wander into the Valley of the Vagina.

 

I have to agree with Sara. Sexual identity (or preferences) is defined by the person, not by someone else or an agreed upon definition imo. While i consider myself heterosexual, the opportunity had presented itself many years ago with the right person but, regrettably, didn't take the opportunity (but was certainly seriously considered). Unfortunatly, that particular person is no longer around.

 

Would i? Certainly, were the circumstances be right.

[xxxAxxx 21016]

I think that:

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with both genders is BISEXUAL.

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with their own gender ONLY is HOMOSEXUAL.

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with the opposite gender ONLY is HETEROSEXUAL.

 

I don't see how this is debatable, to be honest? It seems so black and white to me, no grey areas...

 

I can see how "gay for pay" comes into account and all, but then that becomes an emmy nomiated acting job, not sexual preference.

 

If a person has sex with their own gender, but does not get involved with them in relationships, I still see that as Bi. And those of you who made remarks about it being about the person, not their sexe...That, to me, simply reinforces my statements. You're Bi in my mind, as you like all humans regardless of gender.

 

This is all simply my own humble opinion.

 

 

----On a side note----

I have noticed that most people who share my mind frame are hetero (straight), not all heterosexuals feel the way I do on the matter, just saying I've just noticed that majority of like-minded persons tend to be straight. We are all people and personally, that's kind of a label too...In the sense that it's describing what you are. I don't mean to offend anyone by "labelling", but, to be honest; I believe it is just another label like saying "I have 3 labels: Human, Woman, Hetero". Most of my friends are bisexual, male and female alike. They personally don't feel labeled by the term bi and announce it loudly and proudly. The only thing that matters at the end of the day is that YOU know who YOU are and love it. Cheers!

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Interesting discussion and viewpoints, the way I see it hetro, homo, bi doesn't matter to me , we are human and we are sexual, no matter what the prefix.

 

Also as humans we tend to have the need to categorize or classify which is a shame really, what turns my crank may not turn someone elses and vice versa, I don't judge them and I would hope they wouldn't judge me.

 

So long as it's between consenting adults then I'm a strong advocate of whatever floats your boat!

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think that:

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with both genders is BISEXUAL.

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with their own gender ONLY is HOMOSEXUAL.

Someone who partakes in sexual acts with the opposite gender ONLY is HETEROSEXUAL.

 

I don't see how this is debatable, to be honest? It seems so black and white to me, no grey areas...

 

There are grey areas, specially in this day and age.

 

I slept with my friend, who lives as a female 100%, but still has a penis. She's not of my gender physically, but mentally she's more female than I am.

 

Under what category would this relationship fall?

 

It "should" be labelled as heterosexual, but she would take huge offence to that, since she feels 100% woman. To her it was a homosexual relationship, to me it was just plain awesome.

 

Nothing in life is cut and dry.

That's what makes people so interesting.

 

[piano8950 32577]

If he enjoys it, he just might be bi-sexual or gay. Forget about labels, it's the definition of the word. From what I understand, if an male likes sexual encounters with other males, including a blowjob to a point he is sexually excited, I think that constitutes him either a bi-sexual or gay (Depending on his sexual feelings towards females).

 

If he wants to call himself straight/hetro-sexual, that's no one's concern except for his. IMO

[xxxAxxx 21016]

I slept with my friend, who lives as a female 100%, but still has a penis. She's not of my gender physically, but mentally she's more female than I am.

 

 

To me, this is a man in woman's clothing. I don't see it grey, you were with a man, he was with a woman. What you choose to wear is irrelevant in the terms of your sexual orientation, imo. If he chooses to explore both men and women sexually, to me he is Bi (and acts like a woman, though still a man as long as his penis continues to be functional). If you are active with women only when they have a penis, to me that constitutes bi-curious only. But if you do partake in sexual acts with actual women, then you are bi, not bi-curious. It's all about perspective and how we choose to look at things. I'm not saying that I am right, or that you are wrong; simply stating that we all see things differently and there is no right or wrong answer to this thread as it's all about point of view.

 

Additional Comments:

Forget about labels, it's the definition of the word. From what I understand, if an male likes sexual encounters with other males, including a blowjob to a point he is sexually excited, I think that constitutes him either a bi-sexual or gay (Depending on his sexual feelings towards females).

 

Exactly how I see it too.

[Guest S**a*Q]

To me, this is a man in woman's clothing. I don't see it grey, you were with a man, he was with a woman. What you choose to wear is irrelevant in the terms of your sexual orientation, imo. If he chooses to explore both men and women sexually, to me he is Bi (and acts like a woman, though still a man as long as his penis continues to be functional). If you are active with women only when they have a penis, to me that constitutes bi-curious only. But if you do partake in sexual acts with actual women, then you are bi, not bi-curious. It's all about perspective and how we choose to look at things. I'm not saying that I am right, or that you are wrong; simply stating that we all see things differently and there is no right or wrong answer to this thread as it's all about point of view.

 

I agree with the point of view aspect, and that neither of us are right or wrong, as we're all entitled to our opinions.

 

I want to add that transgendered people are not just men in women's clothing or vice-versa.

 

The clothing has nothing to do with it. (Unless you're simply a cross dresser)

 

She is transgendered and lives as a woman 100%, and in a little while, she'll have a vagina and no penis.

 

I have a friend who has a transgendered child, she is a girl who was born with a penis. I believe that what's between our legs DOES NOT deem what we are.

 

I still stand by my statement that grey areas exist in all aspects of life. Especially sexuality.

[Guest *l**e]

this is a very interesting thread.

I like girls. I am 100% straight. I like they way they look and feel. When i look at many trangendered girls, i see a girl that has a penis. I have been attracted to more then one tgirl in the past. typically the ones i like are the very feminine looking ones (long natural hair, slender, petite, nice boobs) and the fact that they have a cock does not lessen my attraction for them at all.

I have never been with a man and am not attracted to them at all...never will be. I won't even massage men...i don't like the way they feel. I massage tgirls and thoroughly enjoy it. my tgirl clients seem to enjoy my work too.

so my answer in this respect is absolutely, yes, you can suck a cock and still be straight.

[MightyPen 67414]

To me, this is a man in woman's clothing. I don't see it grey, you were with a man, he was with a woman. What you choose to wear is irrelevant in the terms of your sexual orientation, imo.

I'll have to respectfully disagree here. The lessons I've taken from my own experience are that sexuality is much, much more complicated than this. Most importantly: although a genetic test could certainly produce an objective, scientific verdict on someone's gender, that's a vastly different thing than that person's functional, sexual identity.

 

Who's male and who's female? And break this down further to: a) what makes a person perceive themselves to be male or female, and b) what makes other people perceive that person to be male or female? And the answers to all of these questions is fluid, because it really is these --perceptions-- that matter most to us and affect our behaviour, and like all perceptions they're totally subjective. Our human minds aren't objectivity machines; our day to day existence is largely subjective, based on how we experience and interpret the world, and this includes our sexual identity and behaviour.

 

There are experts far better versed on this subject than I am, so I won't presume to go into more detail. But to answer the OP's question: a cock is not a guy, and a guy is not a cock. Those things are often bound together into a single joint concept, but sometimes they're not. If I'm playing with the cock of a beautiful transgendered woman, I personally, subjectively, don't perceive that as a gay act; instead, I'm pleasing a wonderful woman who happens to have some fun, different sexual equipment.

 

That said: I have to echo the comments of others by saying "what the hell would it matter?". Who really cares if my acts are gay or straight? They're just mine, and I'm quite happy with me. The pursuit of labels and categories seems designed to facilitate judgement, and that's not something we need any more of when it comes to sex between consenting adults.

[roamingguy 300292]

To answer the question posed, as phrased, yes IMHO a guy can suck a cock and still be heterosexual.

He can also be bi-sexual

He can also be homosexual

It is merely an sexual act, not neccesarily a sexual preference

But my question is really in the bigger scheme of things, does it matter? Because one fallout of labels is they can lead to judgements, and some judgements can end up stigmitizing people

As long as the acts are between consenting adults, and no one gets hurt who cares

Now if we are talking about coercion (ie rapists & child molesters), then it does matter, and needs to be dealt with. But sexual acts and behaviours between consenting adults that are mutually beneficial and pleasurable, really who cares.

Just my two cents

RG

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I've been with men,women and t-girls. I'm heterosexual. Sex is just that sex. Enjoy it. It if feels good do it.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

As a general principle I do agree that all of the terms (heterosexual, bisexual, gay) are labels and what really matters is what you as an individual enjoy. For those who live by principalities, this one in my view is a good one to stick to. However, the reality is far from the ideal (if this were actually the ideal).

 

We are living in a society which has an impact on the vast majority of us. It is true that the intensity of such an impact is different from one individual to another in a way that the less the impact, the more the individual is liberated and vice verse. Hence, my thread was meant to be framed in that context (i.e. the context of the labels adopted by the society). This was, if you would like to say, the "legal test" for this thread.

 

In a simple form: Can a guy suck a cock (of course for pleasure and not for pay) and still be heterosexual (within the society label meaning)?

 

A a matter of fact, the reason for which I initiated this thread is mainly related to my direct observation from my experience with first timers (clients who have never been with t-girl and who are according to the society definitions heterosexuals) as I have noticed that a major portion of them would really start to question their sexual orientation the moment they start seeing a t-girl or even think about it.

 

The common theme among those whom I have met is that none of them has any sexual desire to men in their natural physical form yet they fantasize about the cock when presented or delivered in an overall feminine package. In other words, they will never suck a guy's cock but they crave and enjoy sucking a t-girl's cock. They have never been or thought about being topped by a guy but they crave and enjoy being topped by a t-girl. While the action is the same in both instances, the actors are different.

 

Another example, albeit different as it involves different actors (females) is pegging. The are many heterosexuals men that crave and enjoy women wearing strapons. It is common that men would start sucking these strapons before they are being anally penetrated. Although, the action is similar (synthetic cock sucking and penetration), the actors are different.

 

Accordingly, I hold the view that when a man is attracted only to the external feminine attributes, he is still heterosexual within the corners of the same society label and when he is attracted only to the external masculine attributes, he is a homosexual within the same society label and when he is attracted to both he is bisexual.

 

This was my view on the subject and I agree that there is no right or wrong answer.

[PhantomKnight 7914]

Myself personally I would not suck a mans cock but I would a Tgirl. Have I questioned my sexuality because of this. Of course. I guess only more experience and more exploration would help me "categorize" myself.

 

:)

 

Good thought provoking question Jane!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I find it very sad that we even need to label a sexual activity. The reason why so many people are prudish is because of their fear of being labelled. Do what feels good and enjoy! I have, as Emma has expressed, experimented with various scenarios (gender wise) and have thoroughly enjoyed myself because I can see how the grey (kudos to Sara) areas need to be explored. It's all about having fun but never giving into anything you are uncomfortable with.

PS big turn on for me is male on male oral :)

[roamingguy 300292]

Exactly, do what feels good, and don't worry about it. For me it's not prudishness, but I have no interest in being with a guy. The closest to trying something out of the ordinary, well out of the ordinary in civilian society LOL might be strap on play with a lady wearing the strap on. Fortunately it's something I can try in this lifestyle when I'm ready to try.

But I guess you can call me pretty vanilla, but I'm happy with that, and isn't that's what is important, that we're all happy with our choices sexually, and to hell with judgments about anyone's sexual choices

A rambling

RG

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Exactly, do what feels good, and don't worry about it. For me it's not prudishness, but I have no interest in being with a guy. The closest to trying something out of the ordinary, well out of the ordinary in civilian society LOL might be strap on play with a lady wearing the strap on. Fortunately it's something I can try in this lifestyle when I'm ready to try.

But I guess you can call me pretty vanilla, but I'm happy with that, and isn't that's what is important, that we're all happy with our choices sexually, and to hell with judgments about anyone's sexual choices

A rambling

RG

 

Exactly! By no means do I want anyone to do something out of their comfort zone but I truly believe that experimentation should not be hindered by potential labels that may have a negative connotation falsely associated to them.

[roamingguy 300292]

No arguments Meg. Labelling leads to stigmitizing. As long as the sexual activities are between consenting adults, and make you happy, why should anyone care.

RG

[Athos 108589]

No arguments Meg. Labelling leads to stigmitizing. As long as the sexual activities are between consenting adults, and make you happy, why should anyone care.

RG

 

Yes I agree completely. And if there is one place where we should be able to express our sexuality without judgement, I would hope that it's this community.

 

Porthos

[VedaSloan 119179]

There are only sex acts and people with particular preferences. If you identify as gay, awesome. If you don't, awesome. Sucking a dick doesn't make you gay. Whether or not a person identifies as gay is not a call others get to make.