Can a guy perform a DATY on a vagina and not be heterosexual?

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

As easy as it may sound, this is a very tricky question to answer. I, for sure, have my own answer that I can easily defend on logical grounds but I am very curious to hear what the CERBites will say.

[Guest *l**e]

I have no clue which way this thread will evolve, but i am certainly interested in finding out!!

[Areez 11906]

yes, there's this thing called bisexual, which means he likes both men and women...

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

But this guy has never been with a genetic male.

[xxxAxxx 21016]

Has he been with T-girl?

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

He has never had the chance to meet a t-girl before.

[roamingguy 300292]

He could be in the proverbial closet and unwilling to come out. He is homosexual, yet never been with a man (that unwilling to come out of the closet) but has been with a woman, even though he isn't attracted to the opposite sex (more to maintain the facade he is heterosexual). In the course of being with women he may have performed daty

Hypothetically speaking of course

RG

 

One other thought. A man could feel he is really a woman,(sorry if my wording is incorrect, no offence intended, but pre TG/TS) but chose to engage in a sexual act with a woman before becoming a TG/TS. Maybe for the experience of being a man with a woman, then as a TG/TS having sexual experiences as a TG/TS

Hope that sounds ok and if awkwardly written, no offence intended

RG

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

My answers from the previous thread still stand, I believe. Having just finished a paper on sexuality and gender and Butler's theory of "doing" gender, I'll stop myself from going on and on. Simply put: genes don't define gender. Acts don't define identities.

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I know women who are lesbians, yet still work as an SP, therefore they are straight for pay.

 

I don't see why a guy who consider himself gay, wouldn't try being a woman, just to see what's it's like.

 

If we had to qualify each sexual act and put in a small little box, this world would be a sad place.

 

I honestly don't see what is the point of all those recent threads about sucking a cock making someone gay, eating pussy making someone heterosexual, drinking non alcoholic wine making someone alcoholic?

 

I don't consider myself bisexual. Yet I still have sex with both genders. and everything in between.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

He could be in the proverbial closet and unwilling to come out. He is homosexual, yet never been with a man (that unwilling to come out of the closet) but has been with a woman, even though he isn't attracted to the opposite sex (more to maintain the facade he is heterosexual). In the course of being with women he may have performed daty

Hypothetically speaking of course

RG

 

The question is about him performing daty on a vagina and not being heterosexual.

 

Your hypothesis is reasonable and could potentially be helpful.

[MightyPen 67414]

It really is the same question as the previous one, though I'll grant you this one's asked less often. We could continue seamlessly into non-sexual realms too:

 

- can you visit Mexico and still be Canadian?

- if you once ate Chicken Parmesan, can you still be vegan? (1)

 

The general form for all of these is "what does it mean when an act contradicts a conventional identity"; or more simply, "is identity absolute?"

 

Identities are over-rated and we contradict ourselves all the time. Don't think in boxes.

 

One of my favourite sayings: "Life is a collection of short stories pretending to be a novel." We're all different people at different times and points in our lives. Everything human is complicated. Don't be absolute and categorical, because it will make you recoil needlessly from some of the best adventures.

 

(1) Yes, that's right, I just re-watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World on the weekend. Those Vegan Police are seriously absolute.

[roamingguy 300292]

The problem with labels is they impose a rigidity. Individuals should be free to do what they want (with other consenting adults) without a fear of the labels that come with certain sexual practices

But there is a societal stigma to certain sexual activities and orientations hence the emphasis on labeling them. We should all be more concerned about people be free to do what they want (with other consenting adults) and living happy content lives instead of stigmatizing those who's sexual practices and orientation aren't the same as ours

Just a quick rambling

RG

[fortunateone 156618]

As easy as it may sound, this is a very tricky question to answer. I, for sure, have my own answer that I can easily defend on logical grounds but I am very curious to hear what the CERBites will say.

 

 

The answer is yes. Just as a woman can do the same thing and not be lesbian, so can a guy perform the action without needing to be straight.

 

It is a giving action anyway, not a receiving one. There is no need for him to become aroused by doing it, just as it isn't necessary if a straight woman was doing the same activity.

[BarrhavenWoody 10776]

I'm confused! Why do we care? If both people are willing participants and enjoying themselves, then who cares what we call them?

[MightyPen 67414]

I'm confused! Why do we care? If both people are willing participants and enjoying themselves, then who cares what we call them?

I think Miss Jane was clear in her other thread that this is actually her point. She knows of people who do think acts are categorical and can refute a person's otherwise-held identity when the two conflict, and she's prompting a discussion of why people feel one way or another on the issue.

 

One of the byproducts of this conversation is to present an alternative view to those who are hung up on the labels and categories. So I think it's a useful discussion to have.

 

So far it looks widely believed here that simple acts don't by themselves automatically imprison people in little identity boxes. We're a bit of a skewed sample here on CERB, but for me it's nice to see.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

These threads were raised out of necessity and not merely as pure hypothetical questions. They have their roots in the society with the sad reality that it unequivocally entails, and for which all of us regardless of our sense of freedom and liberty conform and bend on a daily basis to its rigid confines not only to pay our monthly bills, but also to maintain our image according to its norms. As rigid as this might be, I am afraid that this is the reality that I unintentionally escape to once I log off my CERB account.

 

While in principle I am not a big fan of labels, for fairness I don't think that labels are the ones to be scared of but rather the prejudice that some people might suffer when identified as part of certain group. In other words, it is the misuse of the labels and not the labels themselves.

 

As human beings and empowered with complex faculties, we can't escape the fact that labeling is an irresistible curiosity for all of us. We have labeled ourselves based on gender, color, ethnicity, etc., and I can't see (why/how) sexual orientation (should/could) escape this curiosity!

 

The labels (heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual) are currently existing in our society on a daily basis and until they become obsolete in the next few decades or centuries they remain in effect and as long as they represent a reasonable description of the labeled subject, they connote meaning to that effect, at least, to the average person.

 

It is based on this foundation that those threads were initiated. I have witness many men (married and have grown children) who truly questioned their orientation, at least, initially when they started exploring their sexuality with t-girls. Those men were raised during a time when homosexuality and bisexuality were mistreated by the society and we can't blame them now for the way they think nor answer them from an ivory tower. They need a logical answer as to why they are attracted to this life style?

 

This thread, as the learned CERB member "MightyPen" said, is in principle similar to the previous thread but the twist here involves a guy in a sexual affair with FTM transgendered man where the only female remnant is the vagina, otherwise he possess all the other masculine external attributes (body hair, no breast, manners etc). He has a vagina, doesn't he?

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

One last thought, because this is so well said...

 

[VedaSloan 119179]

Yeah, what I said before. Sex acts and people with preferences. That's it. Dude can define himself however he feels most comfortable and no one else has the right to say shit about it.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

One last thought, because this is so well said...

 

 

The most interesting part is at 00:08 when the speaker says "I am a straight white man". While I might understand his declaration that he is straight in the context of his speech, I find it paradoxical to use the label "white".

 

Apart from the areas of agreement, I can easily refute his argument which relies on the premise that there is "no way to label every point on an infinite continuum" (1:24 - 1:29). While this is true in principle, it patently unreasonable to proclaim that such a concept applies only to sexual orientation as any human characteristic (including skin color which the speaker himself used) spans an infinite continuum.

[Phaedrus 209521]

- can you visit Mexico and still be Canadian?

 

Any fool can do that. The challenge is to stick your cock in someone's ass (or have someone stick theirs in yours) without being Greek :)

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

The most interesting part is at 00:08 when the speaker says "I am a straight white man". While I might understand his declaration that he is straight in the context of his speech, I find it paradoxical to use the label "white".

 

Apart from the areas of agreement, I can easily refute his argument which relies on the premise that there is "no way to label every point on an infinite continuum" (1:24 - 1:29). While this is true in principle, it patently unreasonable to proclaim that such a concept applies only to sexual orientation as any human characteristic (including skin color which the speaker himself used) spans an infinite continuum.

I think it was more a recognition of his experienced priviledge.

[FootFetishTess 1261]

As easy as it may sound, this is a very tricky question to answer. I, for sure, have my own answer that I can easily defend on logical grounds but I am very curious to hear what the CERBites will say.

Oh, Miss Jane.

I know too many gay trans men with cis boyfriends to not know the answer to this. ;-)

Two words: Buck Angel.

Beyond that, there are closeted gay guys (cis, trans, you name it), and gay escorts who work with bi couples, so... Yes. Of course he can. :-)

 

- Tess. :-)