Staying Safe

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Ladies and Gents,

 

Some of the ladies here on cerb can't get into the sp only section so i think we should help them out with some advise on bad clients etc...

 

Here are some of the things i do:

 

I offer a discount for cerb members-they must pm on here for the discount

 

I want a name and number-not always necessary if they are a well established cerb member..but much preferred to have in case of emerg and i have to cancel.

 

for travelling- ask to see them on cam...then have them send you a pic. their name and number...always leave this with someone you trust just in case...{this is if your crazy enough to travel to see someone you don't know at all}

 

blocked calls-don't even bother answering...lol

 

Also if you have troubles and you can't get into the Sp section please pm mod with what happened to you ....with as much info as possible

 

These are just a few ideas for you to use...i'm sure the other ladies have some ideas too...

 

stay safe ladies and always follow your gut!

 

kisses,

Emma A

[buggernot 588]

I think it should be pointed out that regular caution should still be observed when dealing with CERB members. Don't ever take anything for granted. The frequent visitors/posters will probably be OK 99% of the time, but...

[etasman2000 15994]

stay safe ladies and always follow your gut!

 

I highly recommend this book:

 

Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

 

as examples that your gut instincts or intuition should be listened to.

[coachg 388]

Great advice for keeping all those sexy ladies safe out there...if it dosen't feel right, then don't do it and if it sounds too good to be true then usually it is too good to be true...walk away.

[capitalman 3861]

Words to live by...

 

 

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I think it should be pointed out that regular caution should still be observed when dealing with CERB members. Don't ever take anything for granted. The frequent visitors/posters will probably be OK 99% of the time, but...

 

for sure...never take anyone for granted...

 

I highly recommend this book:

 

Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

 

as examples that your gut instincts or intuition should be listened to.

 

send it to me...hehe

 

Great advice for keeping all those sexy ladies safe out there...if it dosen't feel right, then don't do it and if it sounds too good to be true then usually it is too good to be true...walk away.

 

good advise also..

 

Words to live by...

 

 

 

lmao...kisseslmao...kisses

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

This is a good thread, Emma. Here are some of my thoughts:

 

Have a website You can make one yourself if you can't afford a designer, and there are lots of places that offer very inexpensive hostlng. Use one of the hosting firms that offer unlimited bandwidth. If you advertise very much at all, you'll get a lot of traffic very quickly.

 

Websites make it easier for clients to find out about you and what you have to offer. Read a lot of escorts' sites and you'll see what we've found we need to be telling clients ahead of time. Provide a contact form on your site for the clients to use to contact you. Require them to fill in the blanks about their name, their age, how long they want to meet, and so on. This isn't foolproof, but if they're not willing to give you some basic information, they're not serious. They fail the screening test.

 

Get a pay-as-you-go cellphone You can use this for calls to/from clients without being concerned that you'll be identifying yourself accidentally. These plans usually will cost you more than signing up for a two-year plan with one of the big guys, but there's readily available software that makes it easy for anyone to search cell phone numbers to find out who owns the number and the address and contact information they gave when they signed up for the contract (I didn't know this until a client showed me!). Pay-as-you-go is anonymous.

 

Don't give out your address Use a two call system. In your e-mail or phone conversation, say which major intersection is closest to your location. Ask them to call you when they get to that intersection for directions to where you are. Don't take calls from blocked or private numbers. Guys who say they won't or can't reveal their number to you fail the screening test.

 

If you're meeting at a hotel and you've booked the room, don't say which one when you set up the appointment. I always register in my real name because the hotel won't give out the name of the occupant of room #1217; and if the client calls and asks for Samantha Evans' room, the hotel won't have a record of it. Have the client call your cell number at a specific time (half an hour to an hour before the meeting). Tell him which hotel you're in, then. Have him call again when he gets there; that's when he gets the room number. If he refuses to go through these steps because they're cumbersome, inconvenient, etc., he fails the screening test.

 

If you're meeting at a hotel and he's booked the room, ask for his first and last name when you set up the meeting. If he tells you to call his cell phone when you arrive, explain that for your safety, you need the name in which the room is booked. Call the hotel and verify that John Smith is staying there. If the client objects to this for some reason, again, he fails the screening test.

 

Book and visit high-end hotels only until you're comfortable with everything. If you use hotel rooms as incall locations, find a nice, less expensive but still very elegant boutique hotel for days when you see returning clients. Four and five-star hotels have the best security. The no-tell motel is cheap and easy to get into and out of without being detected. That's why they're such great places for crime scenes in movies and on TV. Also, for crime, period!

 

Cover anything that goes into your body You provide the condoms, the lubricant and the gloves. Always. You'll know what they're made of and how they've been handled. Have gloves available, but make your own call on whether to require use. You need to avoid even minor scratches which can easily become sites of infection. Cover penises, for sure, but also cover toys. It makes clean-up easier and you never have to worry about whether you should use the dildo if you dropped it on the floor.

 

Be cautious about what you drink This is a judgment call. I never drink alcohol with a client if the meeting is less than an hour and a half long, unless I'm in a restaurant. I provide wine and spirits in my home, along with coffee, tea and soft drinks. I accept gifts of wine and spirits, but I'm careful about using them. Never drink from a bottle that's been opened before it got into your hands. Homemade wine is often very nice, but you don't know what went into that bottle, do you?

 

Remember that you're in charge This is a hard one for new companions who tend to be warm, loving, affectionate and sometimes overly submissive women. Everything that happens has to be on your terms, without coercion or pressure of any kind, period. Don't give in or compromise even in your early contact with the client. Some guys think that if you'll give an inch here, a few centimeters there, they can have the whole continent.

 

Trust your intuition No matter what, no matter how much you need the money, no matter how many cancellations or no-shows you've had recently, no matter how nice the guy is on the phone or in e-mail, no matter who he is on a public board like this one or in public life, if you have the slightest doubt about him, he fails the screening, always. Your comfort, your safety, your health and your security come first, always. A good client knows without being told that if you're safe and secure, he is too.

[buggernot 588]

Stellar post Sam...very informative and thorough.

 

I don't know what kind of hoops you have to go through to post a CL ad, but something like that should come up as a "Disclaimer/Read Me" prior to posting your first ad under erotic services. Within the last few weeks I have responded to only 2 ads there for inquiry, and both times the return email has been from accounts that were not set up to be anonymous...in one instance the girl's full real name was displayed, the other gave me an email address that enabled me to find her name, address and land line phone number. I always check these things out to see if I can find any info about the girl as a potential SP or if it's B&S, not out of malicious creepy intent btw.

 

I told both of them that they should be more careful and showed them why, and they were receptive and admittedly a little clueless about how easy it is to find information. One of them opened a webmail account immediately and sent me a note from it to thank me for pointing this out to her. But it is a bit troubling to see that kind of carelessness though - you never know what's lurking out there, especially on Craig's...

[fortunateone 156618]

Everything Samantha says is bang on. Some people skip either the 2 call system for the incall or getting the full name and hotel number for the outcall, but these are crucial if for no other reason than you reduce the time wasters. (and address collectors).

 

One thing I find interesting is the underlying belief that calls from block numbers are somehow unsavory, less safe or more likely to waste your time. All callers have an equal chance of being good calls, or bad calls. Totally equal. The only thing you have going for you is your experience, translated to gut instinct. Spending time on the phone call, finding out what they are looking for and what they are like, cannot be replaced simply by knowing their phone #.

 

After all, they could be using this:

 

Get a pay-as-you-go cellphone You can use this for calls to/from clients without being concerned that you'll be identifying yourself accidentally. These plans usually will cost you more than signing up for a two-year plan with one of the big guys, but there's readily available software that makes it easy for anyone to search cell phone numbers to find out who owns the number and the address and contact information they gave when they signed up for the contract (I didn't know this until a client showed me!). Pay-as-you-go is anonymous.

 

Knowing a phone number, over not knowing it, gives a false sense of security, all things considered. I do not rely on that, but I do record the exact time of the call. If they make an appt, it can still be just as easily traced if necessary. Numbers are not blocked or hidden from the phone service providers; pay-as-you-go phones will provide a #, and absolutely no accountability.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

One thing I find interesting is the underlying belief that calls from block numbers are somehow unsavory, less safe or more likely to waste your time. All callers have an equal chance of being good calls, or bad calls. Totally equal. The only thing you have going for you is your experience, translated to gut instinct. Spending time on the phone call, finding out what they are looking for and what they are like, cannot be replaced simply by knowing their phone #. [....] Knowing a phone number, over not knowing it, gives a false sense of security, all things considered.

 

I agree that we can't expect that knowing a phone number is going to guarantee safety. It won't. Of course the client can use a pay-as-you-go phone, too. But if the guy won't reveal his number, it does raise a red flag.

 

He's about to meet you. Most of us do incalls in our homes, so he may be coming to your house or apartment. He's going to have a wealth of information about you when he has that address and even more once he sets foot over the doorstep. As I always say: No matter who the client is, the companion is the one who is taking the greatest and most serious risks, always.

 

He knows that blocked and private numbers are unacceptable to nearly all of us. He's read the ads. He's spent a lot of time on CL before he contacted you, even if you're a high-end companion who doesn't advertise there. He does know the way things work. If he won't reveal his phone number he's asking for special treatment while he withholds one more way to set your mind at ease about him. For me, that's a screening fail, though YMMV.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

If he won't reveal his phone number he's asking for special treatment while he withholds one more way to set your mind at ease about him.

 

To me there are really two very different security scenarios and each demand their own approach to screening.

 

Incalls are by far the most potentially dangerous. The gent is arriving at your place or hotel and is most likely anonymous. Good hotels may offer video surveillance but many mid range hotels and private homes do not. The gents also know that if they push something that the lady may be hesitant to contact LE as she was already doing something that is illegal in most circumstances.

 

It has often amazed me how little security some ladies use in these circumstances. I have seens ads, called or emailed and been given an appointment with virtually no questions asked. When I arrive the lady does no security call and it is apparent that probably nobody is aware what she is doing. She may have required me to call from a non-blocked number and have used a two-call system but these are only illusions of security.

 

Ladies, if you are doing incalls and want security you need a much more thorough screening system. Many ladies here can give examples such as Charlotte, Miss Chloe or Naomi. You will have some clients choose not to see you and you will spend 20-30 mins per client to screen them but you will have real security. To me there are only two real security measures - a confirmed identity or one or two solid referrals from other providers.

 

Outcalls are generally fairly safe as long as someone else knows where you are going and you make that fact known to the gent and do some sort of security call in front of him. This is the standard most agencies use. An outcall represents a known location tied to the gent (a hotel registered in his name, a house, condo or apartment he owns or rents). While this info may not be available to you up front every gent knows it would quickly become available to LE if they ever needed to investigate.

 

Two final perspectives. First, be aware that in its broad sense prostitution is an extremely risky occupation only because it includes SW's. While dangers exist to indoor sex workers they are probably much less than the work related dangers that exist in many, many occupations. Think about the dangers faced by police officers, fire fighters, medical personnel and countless other professions. This business can be a little insular due to its private nature and it can be easy to become paranoid.

 

On the other hand every other profession takes health and safety very seriously and this profession should be no exception. Countless professions dedicate entire days to safety-related training and education.

 

Be safe to the comfort you need to enjoy your time with us gents. However don't exaggerate the dangers and live in a atmosphere of fear.

[MandalayBay 575]

This is a fabulous thread with amazing advice. Thanks to everyone who took the time to post.

 

I go a little overboard with my screening process, but it has worked for me very well. I require potential clients to fill out an "application to be my lover" on my website. LOL

 

http://www.escortmandalay.com/Contact.html

 

I require a ton of information that makes some men guffaw and probably scares away many potential clients. However, the gentlemen it has brought me have been phenominal.

 

One very high profile client actually told me he found my "interrogation application form" adorable and selected me as his escort because he believes I have chutzpah (audacity). I have been given grief over my application form, but it has attracted certain types of men as well.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

What freaks me out is reading ads like "tie me up", "pull my hair".

 

Open invitation to sadists and serial killers :(

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Very interesting form MandalayBay. I have seen similar forms from other high end courtesans (or have been asked similar questions via follow-up emails or pm's). I liked your check boxes to confirm what should be obvious points.

 

Two quick points - discussing sex for money in the privacy of a room is generally regarded as legal. I understand some cities have exceptions to this such as ones the license escorts. Is there something about Winnipeg that makes this illegal? From the link you provided - "Every person who solicits any person in a public place for the purpose of prostitution is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction."

 

Second - even though you ask for a real name you make no mention of any verification through presentation of id or a verifiable telephone number. Many gents need to be anonymous because anything written down in an email or pm is usually logged, backed up and available in the future. Most ladies understand this and provide an alternate screening process that permit the gent to be anonymous. This usually involves being a long term member of a board such as this or providing one or more references (or some combination).

 

To me, if you don't verify my name, I could answer all your questions, give a disposable number, claim I haven't seen an SP before and still pass your screening. Please understand, I am just being a bit of a devils advocate on this point. You stated you have had no problems and I am sure this form is part of that reason. On the other hand I believe true security issues are rare.

[fortunateone 156618]

I agree that we can't expect that knowing a phone number is going to guarantee safety. It won't. Of course the client can use a pay-as-you-go phone, too. But if the guy won't reveal his number, it does raise a red flag.

 

He's about to meet you. Most of us do incalls in our homes, so he may be coming to your house or apartment. He's going to have a wealth of information about you when he has that address and even more once he sets foot over the doorstep. As I always say: No matter who the client is, the companion is the one who is taking the greatest and most serious risks, always.

 

He knows that blocked and private numbers are unacceptable to nearly all of us. He's read the ads. He's spent a lot of time on CL before he contacted you, even if you're a high-end companion who doesn't advertise there. He does know the way things work. If he won't reveal his phone number he's asking for special treatment while he withholds one more way to set your mind at ease about him. For me, that's a screening fail, though YMMV.

 

I guess my main point, kind of echoed by Outforfun, is that having the number gives an illusion of security that doesn't actually exist. Not having the number, but basing the appt on a 5 minute or more conversation, means that you are using other things as your security/checks. It is these other things that need to be developed (only happens over time, and actually using the phone to its full capacity -- i.e. avoiding phone calls will not help develop this skill.) This skill will not fail you, regardless of whatever else you use as checks.

 

Guys with references can fake them, guys with phone #s can fake them, guys with ID can fake them. But guys who are not sober or are rude, cannot fake that when you talk to them. Majority of sps who have been doing this for a few years have done it before cels or when cel phone #s were always blocked. Many people didn't have cels, so payphones were always used. The payphone would prove that they are actually in the area, & if situated correctly, you would be able to see them there.

 

There is nothing that can prevent a bad date if one is determined enough to meet you; but I think that trusting that a phone # is going answer or resolve that may make someone feel a little too relaxed. The one thing I see from sps who have been working for 4+ years is that phone conversation is mandatory. 2call system is mandatory. Nothing else will get the fella in the door. :-D

 

Here is a simple example: In Surrey, there is a guy named Bill Russell. He has 2 phone #s, never changes them. He calls each and every new advertiser, sets up an incall, meets at the skytrain station, wants fun in the car (no payment received yet) then continue at his location. Due to discretion, he will drop her off at the front door then drive around back to go in, then let her in. He drives away and leaves her there. In some cases, he has pushed a girl out of the car while it is in motion. In other cases, he has removed the condom or deliberately broken it.

 

Every month, someone new finds a review board to post a "warning" about him, or posts the warnings on CL. Every month, yet his information is out there, they (apparently) report him to LE, yet every month or so he is able to do it again. Here is someone who is able to provide a full name & phone number, and also the sp has his car make & model (possibly plate #), and possibly general address location.

 

I for one would never rely on a phone # to decide who I will or won't see.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Here is a simple example: In Surrey, there is a guy named Bill Russell. He has 2 phone #s, never changes them. He calls each and every new advertiser, sets up an incall, meets at the skytrain station, wants fun in the car (no payment received yet) then continue at his location. Due to discretion, he will drop her off at the front door then drive around back to go in, then let her in. He drives away and leaves her there. In some cases, he has pushed a girl out of the car while it is in motion. In other cases, he has removed the condom or deliberately broken it.

 

Every month, someone new finds a review board to post a "warning" about him, or posts the warnings on CL. Every month, yet his information is out there, they (apparently) report him to LE, yet every month or so he is able to do it again. Here is someone who is able to provide a full name & phone number, and also the sp has his car make & model (possibly plate #), and possibly general address location.

 

I for one would never rely on a phone # to decide who I will or won't see.

 

I never heard of this guy, but I am sure you are right. LE doesn't give a damn unless they have formed a vice squad just for this and have been told what to do. The issue is too hot for them to handle. The fact that he is still operating proves that I am right.

 

Looks like he has a sure-fire method to scam the girls, but for God's sakes, having car-dates with strangers without having some protection, like a gun in your purse, or a pimp writing down his licence plate and making mince-meat out of him if he hurts his girl, is playing russian roulette.

 

The phone number verification eliminates many bad seeds, although you are right, not all of them.

I used to take anonymous calls, but since I had a few perverted calls, I don't anymore. If you want to see me, find a way to give me a phone number. Otherwise, feel free to see someone who is less careful.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

The best thing you can do is to keep track of the bad phone calls and the minute you hang up, block them!

I know for a fact that jerks will call you repeatedly if you won't.

Rogers let's you block 100 numbers, Telus 12, including anonymous callers.

 

I have mentioned before, but it can't be emphasized enough, GET YOURSELF A CAMERA and direct it at the entrance, so you have a picture of every guy in case you need it. Don't rely on the security camera of the building.

 

It will make the bad guys think twice before they hurt you. Believe me, first thing they will do is to make sure they can get away with hurting you, and if they see the camera they know they can't.

 

Invest in a dummy camera in the beginning, works just as well as a deterrent. But get a good one as soon as you can afford it. It is cheaper than a funeral :)

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I for one would never rely on a phone # to decide who I will or won't see.

 

I agree absolutely. The phone number isn't the determining factor. Very few single things are deal breakers. All have to be considered in context. What's most important is to pay attention to wherever and whenever the client balks and to think as objectively as possible about why that might be.

 

Wonderful men who have never seen a paid companion and who will treat you like a queen will make mistakes. Some nightmares look like a playful picnic in the park. We have to pay attention to everything we've got. It's better to turn down someone who would be a teddy bear who leaves a nice tip than to invite the wrong guy to meet you in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

Unfortunately, most women get into this profession because they're in dire straights. When you're facing having the hydro disconnected just before you're evicted from your home and you fear that your kids may be apprehended by social services, becoming one of us can be a legitimate career move. If you're very, very careful, if you really enjoy what you'll be doing, and if you're very good at it, this is a way out of that terror. But only if you can keep your head on straight and think clearly.

[PistolPete 61421]

To me there are really two very different security scenarios and each demand their own approach to screening.

 

Incalls are by far the most potentially dangerous. The gent is arriving at your place or hotel and is most likely anonymous. Good hotels may offer video surveillance but many mid range hotels and private homes do not. The gents also know that if they push something that the lady may be hesitant to contact LE as she was already doing something that is illegal in most circumstances.

 

It has often amazed me how little security some ladies use in these circumstances. I have seens ads, called or emailed and been given an appointment with virtually no questions asked. When I arrive the lady does no security call and it is apparent that probably nobody is aware what she is doing. She may have required me to call from a non-blocked number and have used a two-call system but these are only illusions of security.

 

Ladies, if you are doing incalls and want security you need a much more thorough screening system. Many ladies here can give examples such as Charlotte, Miss Chloe or Naomi. You will have some clients choose not to see you and you will spend 20-30 mins per client to screen them but you will have real security. To me there are only two real security measures - a confirmed identity or one or two solid referrals from other providers.

 

I understand your point on this..but disagree totally that incalls are most potentially dangerous.

 

Believe it or not, I just do incalls, I have done 3 outcalls in my YEARS. Majority of the ladies are being very cautious, and have a screening process in place to entertain.

 

I could think back years ago, when I started, ladies were fine with entertaining without any screening process.

 

Times have changed there still some screening process in place, but I tend to believe it is all in your delivery to getting a date with SP.

 

Plus these ladies are smart as a whip, they know..by gut feeling if she will entertain the gentleman or not. If a guy decides to call from a restricted phone number- bye..bye..in other words he has no balls. Or just dial *82 before the number what is the issue??

 

So to your point about incalls...I've been doing them and will continue to do so as it is more practical for myself, and I will tell you I never had a scene with a lady, always been polite, generous, well mannered...it goes all long way in this business AND IN LIFE!:wink:

[buggernot 588]

An unblocked phone number doesn't provide any real security, but it's a first step in ascertaining some type of check. If you have a blocked ID, right away it gives an appearance of trying to hide something, especially when it has been clearly stated in a SP's adverts that they will not be taken.

 

No matter what measures are taken, there's always a trick to get around it...if you're devious and intent on doing something that you shouldn't.

[buggernot 588]

What freaks me out is reading ads like "tie me up", "pull my hair".

 

Open invitation to sadists and serial killers :(

 

I see that stuff and shake my head as well, but perhaps the girls posting such services are taking extra measures for their safety? Guy with a gun in the closet?

[PistolPete 61421]

Just to throw this out... now it is on table...we have SP's that advertise here on CERB about domination, cuffs,whips,a wide variety of toys to shove you know where...are we to assume that these ladies are opening themselves to sadists and serial killers?? Sorry, but I don't know about that...I think again..those ladies that like to entertain in that fashion are well equipped to put out the fuse, if there was one...my 2 cents...

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Just to throw this out... now it is on table...we have SP's that advertise here on CERB about domination, cuffs,whips,a wide variety of toys to shove you know where...are we to assume that these ladies are opening themselves to sadists and serial killers?? Sorry, but I don't know about that...I think again..those ladies that like to entertain in that fashion are well equipped to put out the fuse, if there was one...my 2 cents...

 

Well, I have heard of one dominatrix who has been killed by a client in Europe, but I have also heard of people who had been killed in car accidents....

 

I was not talking about professionals, but girls on CL who advertise like that. Let's hope they know what they are doing.

 

I personally would never let a stranger tie me up. Just the thought scares me :(

[Parker 19761]

Well, I have heard of one dominatrix who has been killed by a client in Europe, but I have also heard of people who had been killed in car accidents....

 

I was not talking about professionals, but girls on CL who advertise like that. Let's hope they know what they are doing.

 

I personally would never let a stranger tie me up. Just the thought scares me :(

 

It's very natural to be nervous about losing control, such as being tied up.

Couples can have problems doing it with each other, let alone people with complete strangers.

 

I've had clients who wanted to be tied, but not helplessly... Tying large cuffs into rope (that doesn't tighten) or velcro cuffs are good for this, you're not actually tied up, but you still get to play with it a bit.

 

Things like being tied up should never be done if you're not comfortable with them and the person you're doing them with, though that should go without saying.

[PistolPete 61421]

Well, I have heard of one dominatrix who has been killed by a client in Europe, but I have also heard of people who had been killed in car accidents....

 

I was not talking about professionals, but girls on CL who advertise like that. Let's hope they know what they are doing.

 

I personally would never let a stranger tie me up. Just the thought scares me :(

 

I agree with you, re- letting a stranger tie you up. I think I was with a certain Sp at 3 times before I was comfortable, and she tied me up, it was all good- trusting 1 another is key.

 

Your gut instinct is key, I've been known to be a good judge of character- in life,socially and in fact here, so being able to read between the lines with ladies (and guys who ask questions) is paramount for both parties safety.