Valuable Information Prior to Visiting a Service Provider (Samantha's impatient rant)

[Jungle56 100]

Very well stated. Thanks

[roamingguy 300292]

Well, RG, to be perfectly honest, the reason that some of us ask for a work number is that men lie.

 

Shocking, isn't it? But they do.

 

This is how it works: The man's CERB handle is "LuckyJohn789" and he has made, say, 273 posts, establishing a reputation for himself as a guy who can log in pretty often and write a few words. Asked for his real, full name, he says it's "John A. Smith" and the cell number he gives has voice mail on it saying, "Hello, this is John A. Smith. Sorry I can't take your call...".

 

He doesn't want to give his work number to a companion. She only wants to be able to call XYZ Co. and verify that John A. Smith is an employee there. That's all. These calls happen all the time--credit card companies and others make them routinely.

 

He gets irritated and paranoid. What if she discovers that there is no John A. Smith at XYZ Co? (There isn't, because he's really Fred T. Jones and he works for ABC Enterprises.) She might... post something, somewhere on CERB and out him, making it much harder for him to pose as a non-poseur. Why, he'd have to start over, create a new identity, post another two hundred "I agree" and "X has a point. That's my experience, too" kinds of statements for another few of months, along with a couple of phony reviews, before he can claim his reputation makes him a reliable, straight-up kind of guy whom any companion would welcome into her place, bed and body with open arms.

 

He takes the path of highest dudgeon. If he gives the companion his work number, then, why, she'll know where he works! What if she outs him to his colleagues and others at his workplace? It's unthinkable! He's right about that. He never considers, for a moment, whether the companion has a reputation for doing this kind of thing. (Trust me, if she's done it even once, her poor victim will probably have posted the details on every escort board on the continent.) He never wonders why the company telephone receptionist would believe an unexpected call from SuzyHotStuff saying that John A. Smith has a habit of chatting up prostitutes online and maybe even trying to get a date with one of them. He doesn't pause to think about what kind of proof she would have to offer that would convince his employer to take a second look at him.

 

He goes through considerable gymnastics over the question, reframing her concerns for her safety in terms that have to do with his privacy, discretion, need for confidentiality and entitlement to automatic respect, sight unseen. He claims moral outrage and says, in effect, that he's a stand-up kind of guy, salt of earth with a heart of gold, whereas everyone knows that all women on these boards are like SuzyHotStuff--------s just waiting to take advantage of their next trick so that they can ruin a good man's life.

 

It's an outrage! What will these women think of next? He'd never hurt a fly--it's obvious! He promises he'll keep the meeting, pay the full fee (which he may also mutter is more than she really deserves, but he's a generous guy and the girl is obviously having a hard time in life or she wouldn't be fucking for a living) and that they'll have a good time. He claims to be the soul of honesty and transparency except for this one, little detail: he doesn't want to give his work telephone number.

 

But the companion who is considering meeting with John A. Smith knows what he knows, too, but will never say. He's not as honest as he claims. He's married. He has two or three kids. There could be hell, and legal bills, and years of child and spousal support to pay if his wife finds out what he's up to. He'll do anything he can to keep the wife from finding out about him.

 

That's where the risk starts for most of us. When men are desperate and afraid, they often become impulsive and self-justifying. Unfortunately, that's when we women are most likely to be hurt, or worse. People will lie in order to get something they want or to avoid responsibility for the things they've done. Men will lie to their wives, to their friends, to their employers and colleagues, to their paid companions, to the police and the courts....

 

Understand?

 

We know that men lie. We do know that. We know that they want to have some fun on the side without negative repercussions or fall-out. Yes, we know that. Not only do we know it, but we'll help you keep your secret. This business thrives on secrets well-kept.

 

Give her the number. Make the appointment. Pay her in full. Have a good time. Give her a decent tip, too, if you like her. Go on your way. See her again, or not. End of story.

 

I'm coming back to this thread not as a newbie, who btw never went through full verification/screening yet when I originally posted, to see a companion, but as someone more experienced in the etiquette of this lifestyle. Now personally I am still uncomfortable with giving my office number, only because now the office is share not just with three staff, but two more...yes five in an office. Would hate to get a personal call with other people around

That said, I am very supportive of verification, and with the exception of the office phone I am very open. Ladies that I see get my real name, board handle confirmed by pm, phone number & name of cell phone provider, and email, not to mention a reference. Couple times in addition I gave hotel reservation confirmation number (just so they knew they were going to a real call), and two times ladies got my civilian email too (that was to pay via email money transfer and I trust the ladies with my civilian email than the bank with my lifestyle email) Although other information hasn't been requested, I'm pretty open with a lady when screening

With all that said, and it really is the privacy factor, I haven't provided my office number.

That said, I believe I am open and honest enough in being screened that there isn't, at least from my perspective, a need to give my office number

Any opinions from the ladies out there

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I'm coming back to this thread not as a newbie, who btw never went through full verification/screening yet when I originally posted, to see a companion, but as someone more experienced in the etiquette of this lifestyle. Now personally I am still uncomfortable with giving my office number, only because now the office is share not just with three staff, but two more...yes five in an office. Would hate to get a personal call with other people around

That said, I am very supportive of verification, and with the exception of the office phone I am very open. Ladies that I see get my real name, board handle confirmed by pm, phone number & name of cell phone provider, and email, not to mention a reference. Couple times in addition I gave hotel reservation confirmation number (just so they knew they were going to a real call), and two times ladies got my civilian email too (that was to pay via email money transfer and I trust the ladies with my civilian email than the bank with my lifestyle email) Although other information hasn't been requested, I'm pretty open with a lady when screening

With all that said, and it really is the privacy factor, I haven't provided my office number.

That said, I believe I am open and honest enough in being screened that there isn't, at least from my perspective, a need to give my office number

Any opinions from the ladies out there

RG

 

RG, as you know, I've had no problem at all accepting these things from you as part of the screening process. You're providing good, verifiable information that assures me that you are who you say you are, and that helps me feel confident that I would be safe in your company.

 

I don't require work telephone numbers from everyone who wants to see me. Indeed, I've probably asked less than a quarter of my new clients in the last couple of years to give me that information.

 

When someone has a reasonable objection to providing a piece of information, there are usually other ways to satisfy my need. No work phone number, but two good references from companions he's seen within the last six months would be one example.

 

Ultimately, I draw a sharp distinction between protecting someone's privacy and ensuring their complete anonymity and untraceability.

 

I have a number of clients from the US. In every case, the first time they've contacted me they've provided complete disclosure of their identities and verifiable contact information along with good, recent references. This is standard in the US where clients and companions both need to take steps to ensure that they're not being set up by law enforcement. Here, in Canada, LE is much less an issue; safety is a greater one.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

This is a great thread and I enjoy the discussion and I feel as though I need to contribute.

 

I was a newbie a while ago and due to my ignorance and naivety surrounding this business I was indeed filled with much of the apprehension that has been discussed. So in my state of ignorance my mind raced through all the issues that have been discussed and as Samantha noted my primary concern "at the time" was my OWN privacy and essentially being assured discretion by the companion. So I found the whole verification process unnerving the first time to say the least. However, because I had those concerns I did MY extensive research and chose to visit with an established, very experienced, well reviewed companion and felt that because that the lady had been confirmed as wonderful and trustworthy I would be "safe". In fact it was during my research I discovered CERB and actually PM'd with experienced, respected CERB members about this lady to further waylay my concerns. With that lady I provided everything that she asked for and was rewarded with a fantastic experience and friendship.

 

Jump ahead many encounters and I have developed some great friendships with a number of amazing ladies. Some ladies I keep in contact regularly with and through these friendships I have had discussions with them about some of the things that they run into on a daily basis from prospective clients and established clients (anonymously of course). To be honest, some of the things I hear evoke feelings from extreme concern for the lady to complete disgust and anger. Although there might be many GOOD clients here on CERB that believe that the way THEY properly treat companions is the norm, I'm here to tell you that is not the case. Most of the companions that we encounter here on CERB and perhaps on other boards and sites have days filled with complete garbage from prospective clients and established clients. These ladies are not just whining to hear themselves, this stuff really happens often. Sometimes, from CERB members who we assume (given the tone of our board) should know better. These ladies have to wade through so much shit, and so many assholes day in day out just to find a couple of decent clients it's staggering.

 

Given what I know, I can emphatically state that these companions have every reason and right to request ANY and ALL verification information necessary to make them feel comfortable with a client. Further as a friend of some ladies I would implore that they always screen clients diligently.

 

It is solely up to the client to do HIS research to ensure that he feels comfortable with seeing a particular companion and providing the information SHE requires to make her feel comfortable. It is not for the lady to have to try to SELL/PROVE herself as trustworthy. As clients we have a multitude of sources (such as CERB and other boards) to gather information on ladies and ease our concerns over our safety and privacy. There are MANY more clients than companions, so ladies many times do not have the luxury to login to a board (like CERB) and within a few minutes obtain recommendations/reviews of clients to assess whether she should let them into her room and be intimate with that prospective client.

 

Bottom line, choose an experienced, well reviewed/recommended lady. Research her, understand her approach and when as a client you feel comfortable that you can trust the lady, contact her and provide her whatever she wants to know make her feel comfortable seeing you.

 

Remember, a companion doesn't need to prove her trustworthiness to you. If you don't trust her, don't see her. Simple as that! You DO have to prove your trustworthiness to her! Keep it in mind.

 

An impatient rant from Chuck.

[roamingguy 300292]

Sorry for coming back late Samantha, not a snub, been on the road since Thursday, unable to do long posts. Anyhow my question about the office phone number stems from trying to set up an encounter with a lady once.

I was willing to provide full verification (name, phone, email, reference, confirm board handle via pm). She didn't seem interested in my phone, board handle or a reference, but was adamant that I provide my work number. I explained my situation, and said I was willing to provide two references, and if there was anything else I could provide (depending on what it was of course) I would do my best to give it. She was focused on my getting my work number, actually nothing else seemed to interest her.

In fact she could care less if I had a reference at all

That is why I have wondered about the need for giving a work number that's all. BTW I never booked an encounter with her

RG

[freddy4escort 260]

I can't understand how anyone could be so rude and senceless with ladies who provide such an awesome service!!! I see many sp's and have NEVER visited one who didn't treat we very well, but then that goes both ways. Fred

 

This morning while I drink my coffee and read the boards here, I-m struck by how many complaints we have about the guys who take advantage of some aspect of our services and then treat us badly. There are active discussions about men who:

 

• Try to negotiate or bargain clearly-stated non-negotiable fees
  
• Try to pay less than the agreed fee after they arrive
  
• Try to get services that were not agreed on before the date
  
• Complain about our screening questions
  
• Don-t bother to take a shower, brush their teeth or trim their nails before seeing us
  
• Assume that we're likely to rob them
  
• Threaten to write bad reviews and/or aren-t believed when they write good ones
  
• Insult us, our need for safety and even our looks when we don-t give in to what they demand
  

No one is forced to read our ads and websites, look at our photos, contact us, discuss our services with us, or meet with us. It-s all voluntary and initiated by the client. The client has needs, feelings, preferences and curiosity, but why do so many refuse to take responsibility for themselves? What they express as anger, self-righteous indignation and personal entitlement is really projected self-hatred.

I want to sit these men down and say:

 

1. If you don-t want to see a paid companion, don-t do it.
   
2. If you decide to seek out a companion, that's your decision.
   
3. What you want is not what everyone else may want. That-s usually a wonderful thing.
   
4. Recognize that we-re not like cheap candy that you can buy daily. We-re more like fine dining to be enjoyed occasionally. Plan accordingly.
   
5. If someone-s prices are too high for you, either wait until you can afford her, or find someone else. Meanwhile, don't blame her for your lack of funds. Recognize that she charges what the market will bear. That means that there are plenty of others who can afford to see her.
   
   
6. Always be polite and considerate. No matter what. Even if you feel confused, disappointed or insulted, be polite.
   
7. Remember that companions are human beings, just like you. We have needs, desires, dreams and things we-re worried about or afraid of, just as you do.
   
8. We will protect both your health and our own. Fair is fair.
   
9. If you're worried about your safety, know that she's concerned about her safety, too. No matter who or how important you are or think you are, the one who is taking the most risks is always the companion. Always.
   
   
10. Relax.
    

[Nikitabbw 570]

Very solid advice. thank you. it needed to be said and you said iy wonderfully

[haroldsammy 223]

this is a great message.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Bringing this to the top - seems there are a lot of new members sending pms along the lines of "hey baby, what can I get for $60???

 

This is never wanted, desired or appreciated. Not the best way to make a name for yourself.

 

Its ok to ask for her rates, even ok to say "out of my budget", but never ok to give her a lowball rate and expect her to jump at the opportunity to see you.

[cinelli 22184]

As an employer we get calls occasionally asking if xxx works here and asking what their income is. We do NOT and CANNOT provide such information without that specific employee's consent. So if an escort were to phone me out of the blue and ask "Does John work there?" I could not not confirm or deny. If an employee told me to expect a phone call from "CERB Mortgage Brokers" to verify their employment, then I would be willing to do so. You don't have to say it's an escort eh.

 

This is a common policy among many companies. It has been implemented due to potential liabilities re privacy. Any escort should understand that I simply cannot be giving out information about my employees to anyone who calls.

 

I'm not trying to be a jerk but I have to obey the rules.

 

Additional Comments:

Recognize that she charges what the market will bear

 

Some may whine about how much an SP charges. But let's face it guys, we charge what the market will bear too. If you make $25 an hour and someone down the street pays $30 an hour, you either go there or you bitch at your boss. If you sell a gadget for $10 but think you could get $15, you raise your price.

 

SPs have a short career compared to a lawyer, engineer or doctor. You cannot blame them for maximising their earnings in the time they have.

[hillberry 180]

This was good advice. What would be great for us clients is to get a list of dos and dont's when with an SP. I know hygiene and courtesy are top of list.

Here is what I do:

1. Shower beforehand, floss teeth and use mouthwash.

2. Show up on time and well dressed.

3. Greet her with a big hug and let her know she is beautiful and that I'm lucky she took my appt.

4. Pay her promptly (she should never have to ask)

5. Compliment her as she does her best to please you. As she is experienced I let her guide the date but will ask if I can please her in any way particular.

6. After, let her know it was wonderful.

7. Tip her and thank her.

 

Mostly this has resulted in a great experience. But sometimes I can tell the stress she is under and try to be extra kind. This doesn't always work and I may leave less than satisfied. this reminds me of both the reason I visit SP's (my wife can no longer have sex) and the difficulties of this business for the lady.

 

I would appreciate hearing from SP's what they think, particularly those in Winnipeg.

[nathan1313 110]

ok sounds good

[Guest w****har**3]

Awesome points. I'd like to add: I only want to be with the best, cleanest, most professional and classiest SP's. I expect them to be impeccably clean, therefore I want to be the same. I want to begin every session with a shower, thereby showing each other that hygiene is important ... For us all.

[weirdweasal 279]

I love this thread. It's very helpful to us newbies to have a clear idea of what to expect and what is expected of us. Thank you.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Probably been stated before but.... Endless emails with questions easily answered by viewing a lady's website. There is nothing that kills the mood more quickly than someone who cannot take the time to take a simple trip to a given website.

 

Sure, I would love to get to know you but really, only after you have taken the time to know wether you really want to know me!

[JamesBond613 110]

Thanks for the advice ladies, I agree with you :)P

[cinelli 22184]

What would be great for us clients is to get a list of dos and dont's when with an SP

 

Actually there are lists like that all over the place. There's probably dozens of them just on this site!

 

You know what would be great? If guys would READ those lists and follow them!

[CalgaryGuy2014 110]

Very valuable thread for a newbie!

[peacectryguy 12547]

Very interesting thread and I completely agree that when we are "shopping" (for lack of a better term) for a S.P., we should all take the time to actually read the ad, website and any other relevant information so we know what is expected. Now, having said that, there are times when certain details may have been overlooked in the ad and questions are necessary. S.P.'s, like all women have certain things that they may not be comfortable with and I can completely understand that. I never have a problem with a simple "no, I'm sorry, but that is something I don't do."

As for the hygiene thing, I can never understand how any man can be a total slob and expect that a lady would not be put off by it. I find myself chuckling when I see that providers actually have to tell guys this. And being polite and respectful should never be an issue anywhere, anytime but unfortunately, there seems to be certain people out in our world who can't (or won't) grasp that simple concept.

[Raven Rain 10542]

please know before coming to see me, not to show up 20 minutes or more

early and expect me to see you then.

This is a big pet peeve of mine.

10 minutes maybe..lol :icon_cool:

[peacectryguy 12547]

that's funny Raven Rain because just last week when going to visit a lovely young lady provider that I have become fairly regular with, I didn't time things well. As I was coming down the street near the hotel, I looked at the clock and realized I was more than 15 mins early so off to Tim's for a mocha I went and sat in my truck to kill 10 mins or so, lol. I like to be there either right on time or maybe 5 mins early at most

[BWL1 120]

Some great advice and comments. I have been concerned about arriving on time because I never want to be late and invariably I reach a location early only to wait discreetly in a coffee shop or a block away.

[BWL1 120]

Some great advice and comments. I have been concerned about arriving on time because I never want to be late and invariably I reach a location early only to wait discreetly in a coffee shop or a block away.

[Mournie 140]

Being a newb at this, the thread has been a useful read for me.

But I have to say - the fact that some of this needs to be said is incredible, and there must be so many a$$holes out there that have no idea what respect or consideration is.

A lot of this could apply to any professional situation or interaction. That some people need to be told this? Just.... wow. It's a bit sad, and I hope nobody ever has to tell me how to act with a fellow human being.

(I'd be mortified and probably crawl into a hole somewhere never to emerge until the years had washed away the shame...)