Valuable Information Prior to Visiting a Service Provider (Samantha's impatient rant)

[abby_g 100]

lol. lol. lol. I am fairly new to the sp industry. It is refreshing to see that other sp's feel the same way about the same things!! Great post!!:-)

[LazeyGeorge 768]

Hehehehe....good one! :lol:

[Antoine 502]

Can anyone explain to me what an r&t is?

[mod 135639]

Can anyone explain to me what an r&t is?

On sites like this... Usually means "Rub and Tug"

[6strings2010 100]

well I for one have not yet engaged with any provider (yet). but as a human, i believe in treating everybody with the utmost respect. doesn't matter what field of work, or life experience one has. Respect is respect....

 

saying that, there are good guys (LIKE ME!!) who will always be respectful and hygienic. :bowdown:

sucks that you have to go through all that.

[masterowls 249]

I have a bit of a unique situation in the hygiene department. Unfortunately because the way my apartment is set up I cannot physically take a bath or shower because I can't get into my bathroom. I do however make every effort to stay as clean and presentable as I possibly can. I sponge two or three times a day and I certainly would not show up to an appointment knowing that I'm smelling bad. That is simply unacceptable on so many levels I can't even count. I think a lot of us tend to forget that these ladies are treasures, and should be treated as such. Anybody that doesn't doing everything they can to ensure the girls have a good time is in my opinion an idiot who doesn't deserve the privilege of being with one of these ladies.

[Andee 220524]

Master Owls:

 

No need to feel bad. Even my friend with CP who has an accessible washroom with walk in shower and shower chair and hand held shower head, can't always get at all the spots. Even his attendants miss things.

 

I think anyone who is sensitive to people with special needs knows this. I have a client with special needs and I incorporate freshening up as part of the encounter. I bring my own wipes and I give him a like a "sponge bath" - I pretend I'm like his geisha girl. Works for both of us and then there's no embarassment.

 

We are talking about able-bodied gents who can full well clean themselves and for some reason to choose not to. Just plain inconsideration!

[masterowls 249]

I think you ladies should start charging a "filth tax" on anyone that inconsiderate. Maybe if you hit them in the wallet, they would have more motivation to clean themselves up before they visit you. I mean, if I take the time and effort to arrange to be clean, and well groomed, and it is hard for me to do, there is no excuse why someone can't hop in the shower on the way over to see you. Or failing that, ask to borrow yours when he gets there.

Just my opinion.

Master Owls:

 

No need to feel bad. Even my friend with CP who has an accessible washroom with walk in shower and shower chair and hand held shower head, can't always get at all the spots. Even his attendants miss things.

 

I think anyone who is sensitive to people with special needs knows this. I have a client with special needs and I incorporate freshening up as part of the encounter. I bring my own wipes and I give him a like a "sponge bath" - I pretend I'm like his geisha girl. Works for both of us and then there's no embarassment.

 

We are talking about able-bodied gents who can full well clean themselves and for some reason to choose not to. Just plain inconsideration!

[FineWineDiva 7343]

I knew there was a reason , I befriended you Angela !

 

Your a classy lady!!

 

hugs

 

Master Owls:

 

No need to feel bad. Even my friend with CP who has an accessible washroom with walk in shower and shower chair and hand held shower head, can't always get at all the spots. Even his attendants miss things.

 

I think anyone who is sensitive to people with special needs knows this. I have a client with special needs and I incorporate freshening up as part of the encounter. I bring my own wipes and I give him a like a "sponge bath" - I pretend I'm like his geisha girl. Works for both of us and then there's no embarassment.

 

We are talking about able-bodied gents who can full well clean themselves and for some reason to choose not to. Just plain inconsideration!

[Guest tr*****e]

I personally make sure I'm clean & reasonably well-dressed when I go to see an sp. It strikes me as absurd and totally wrong that anyone would consider it acceptable to not at least do this. Sp's are people that deserve to be treated with respect, just like everyone else. In fact, I personally think our society should hold you ladies in special esteem for the service you provide. Sadly, this is not the case in a world where acceptance and tolerance still have to be ranted about. :P

[jafo105 39057]

I'm struck by how many complaints we have about the guys who take advantage of some aspect of our services and then treat us badly. There are active discussions about men who:

 

• Try to negotiate or bargain clearly-stated non-negotiable fees
  
• Try to pay less than the agreed fee after they arrive
  
• Try to get services that were not agreed on before the date
  
• Complain about our screening questions
  
• Don't bother to take a shower, brush their teeth or trim their nails before seeing us
  
• Assume that we're likely to rob them
  
• Threaten to write bad reviews and/or aren't believed when they write good ones
  
• Insult us, our need for safety and even our looks when we don't give in to what they demand
  

No one is forced to read our ads and websites, look at our photos, contact us, discuss our services with us, or meet with us. It's all voluntary and initiated by the client. The client has needs, feelings, preferences and curiosity, but why do so many refuse to take responsibility for themselves? What they express as anger, self-righteous indignation and personal entitlement is really projected self-hatred.

 

 

This is a really good thread Samantha.

 

I do not see what the hassel is for some guys. The lady is only looking out for her safety. The guys just don't take into concideration the lady has overhead expenses. (i.e. rent, groceries, bills, supplies, transportation, etc.. etc..)

 

When ever I book an appointment with a SP or MP, I always allow two hours to make myself presentable. The same as I would with any other lady (date). Let's not forget that SP's, MP's and MA's are ladies too.

 

Near the end of the appointment I always ask for a "shower for two". This gives both of us a chance to quickly freshenup. Not to mention it's fun!

 

 

It all comes back to respect for self and respect for others.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Do not ask if I am alone. That sends off huge warning bells to me. Some of us are and some of us have a girlfriend who remains discreetly in another room. And I mean really, do you think someone with nefarious intentions would admit that some big muscle bound body guard would be hiding in the closet LOL.

[roamingguy 300292]

Some things to add

 

1. Some,(not all) ladies should know that for some hobbiests, planning an enounter a few months in advance is not a game for the guy. In my case to schedule an encounter, due to my location, (which involves me travelling and booking a hotel) I plan my encounters a couple months (3-4 months at least) ahead of time. Some ladies are very accepting of my situation, others seem to think I'm just wasting their time when initial contact is made

 

2. Life happens. To hobbiests and to ladies. Show courtesy if you have to cancel, postpone, or are going to be late. I was late once, but called. And it happens to ladies too, couple postponements, couple that were late, one that wanted the time changed. EVERYONE has life happens. Show courtesy, let the lady or hobbiest know, and when you get the information, roll with the punches.

 

3. Abide with the lady's screening methods. If she requires just email/phone fine, if in addition a reference fine, if your name, fine

If any of these screening methods make you uncomfortable, then see another provider. I realize the last one causes some discomfort, so assess the information you provide vs the integrity of the lady you provide the information too (if that makes sense)

 

Just some more to add to the discussion

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

There are many reasons for making advance bookings, even several months in advance. I'm happy to do it, with a couple of provisos.

 

Having been burned a few times by men who made advance bookings weeks or months ahead of time for long meetings or several meetings in a week when they said they'd be in town, and who subsequently didn't cancel, postpone or show up, I've re-instated my old policy of requiring a deposit for these bookings.

 

I know it makes some people nervous to pay part of their fee up-front. However, I do have reasonable cancellation terms and am ready to refund payment immediately when asked to do so. In some cases, I have accepted several smaller deposit payments over time rather than required the full amount all at once when the appointment is made.

 

My time is as important as the client's. If someone books eight or ten hours with me, weeks ahead of time, I will have to juggle other, long-standing clients around the booking and I will also turn down others who want to see me. To have someone ask for a major part of my work week--and income--and then not show up can unfairly create problems on my end.

 

One way to get around this with me is to begin a polite, extended correspondence. Write to me, asking about what I offer and describing what you'd like to do with me. Let me know that you're not going to be in Vancouver for a few weeks or a couple of months. I'll reply. Respond to my e-mail in a few days. Don't expect to take up a huge amount of my time or to hear from me several times a week. I have no objection to hearing from a potential client once a week or so. I'm also happy to receive phone calls--just ask about my availability for those.

 

If we establish a good rapport over time, wonderful. You can either book ahead of time and pay a deposit, or hope to get a meeting on shorter notice without having to pay any deposit. You risk that I may not be available to see you. On the other hand, I'm much more likely to figure out a way to meet you if I have a very good sense of you and feel that we really will be compatible. You'll take priority over any brand new, unknown new client.

 

Another way to reduce my deposit expectations is to start the friendly correspondence, as described above, and after a couple of exchanges, give me your real name and contact information. No one who has ever given me this information has also reneged on a booking, in my experience. I know the real names, occupations and workplaces of about 80% of my clients, and 100% of my long-term returning clients. I never contact any of them without permission or an express invitation to do so.

[roamingguy 300292]

I hope this isn't going off on a tangent, but some ladies require screening/verification

This has been as simple as a reference, contact phone number and email.

Some ladies also require your full name and CERB handle

But some insist, in addition (not instead of) to this, your work phone number

Now if you don't have any other contact number I can see this.

But if you are forthcoming with all other information, why your work number...some of us don't have private offices and private work numbers. And while not embarrassed or ashamed of seeing ladies, it is my private life, and I treat it with the same discretion that the ladies expect the guys to treat them

So question, why a work number

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

Well, RG, to be perfectly honest, the reason that some of us ask for a work number is that men lie.

 

Shocking, isn't it? But they do.

 

This is how it works: The man's CERB handle is "LuckyJohn789" and he has made, say, 273 posts, establishing a reputation for himself as a guy who can log in pretty often and write a few words. Asked for his real, full name, he says it's "John A. Smith" and the cell number he gives has voice mail on it saying, "Hello, this is John A. Smith. Sorry I can't take your call...".

 

He doesn't want to give his work number to a companion. She only wants to be able to call XYZ Co. and verify that John A. Smith is an employee there. That's all. These calls happen all the time--credit card companies and others make them routinely.

 

He gets irritated and paranoid. What if she discovers that there is no John A. Smith at XYZ Co? (There isn't, because he's really Fred T. Jones and he works for ABC Enterprises.) She might... post something, somewhere on CERB and out him, making it much harder for him to pose as a non-poseur. Why, he'd have to start over, create a new identity, post another two hundred "I agree" and "X has a point. That's my experience, too" kinds of statements for another few of months, along with a couple of phony reviews, before he can claim his reputation makes him a reliable, straight-up kind of guy whom any companion would welcome into her place, bed and body with open arms.

 

He takes the path of highest dudgeon. If he gives the companion his work number, then, why, she'll know where he works! What if she outs him to his colleagues and others at his workplace? It's unthinkable! He's right about that. He never considers, for a moment, whether the companion has a reputation for doing this kind of thing. (Trust me, if she's done it even once, her poor victim will probably have posted the details on every escort board on the continent.) He never wonders why the company telephone receptionist would believe an unexpected call from SuzyHotStuff saying that John A. Smith has a habit of chatting up prostitutes online and maybe even trying to get a date with one of them. He doesn't pause to think about what kind of proof she would have to offer that would convince his employer to take a second look at him.

 

He goes through considerable gymnastics over the question, reframing her concerns for her safety in terms that have to do with his privacy, discretion, need for confidentiality and entitlement to automatic respect, sight unseen. He claims moral outrage and says, in effect, that he's a stand-up kind of guy, salt of earth with a heart of gold, whereas everyone knows that all women on these boards are like SuzyHotStuff--hookers just waiting to take advantage of their next trick so that they can ruin a good man's life.

 

It's an outrage! What will these women think of next? He'd never hurt a fly--it's obvious! He promises he'll keep the meeting, pay the full fee (which he may also mutter is more than she really deserves, but he's a generous guy and the girl is obviously having a hard time in life or she wouldn't be fucking for a living) and that they'll have a good time. He claims to be the soul of honesty and transparency except for this one, little detail: he doesn't want to give his work telephone number.

 

But the companion who is considering meeting with John A. Smith knows what he knows, too, but will never say. He's not as honest as he claims. He's married. He has two or three kids. There could be hell, and legal bills, and years of child and spousal support to pay if his wife finds out what he's up to. He'll do anything he can to keep the wife from finding out about him.

 

That's where the risk starts for most of us. When men are desperate and afraid, they often become impulsive and self-justifying. Unfortunately, that's when we women are most likely to be hurt, or worse. People will lie in order to get something they want or to avoid responsibility for the things they've done. Men will lie to their wives, to their friends, to their employers and colleagues, to their paid companions, to the police and the courts....

 

Understand?

 

We know that men lie. We do know that. We know that they want to have some fun on the side without negative repercussions or fall-out. Yes, we know that. Not only do we know it, but we'll help you keep your secret. This business thrives on secrets well-kept.

 

Give her the number. Make the appointment. Pay her in full. Have a good time. Give her a decent tip, too, if you like her. Go on your way. See her again, or not. End of story.

[roamingguy 300292]

I can see your point. And if all I provided was a cell phone, email and name I would agree...but when I am prepared and have provided references on top of that, doesn't that negate the need for a work number

Reason I ask, just don't want two other people overhearing private/personal conversations (I'm in a 3 person office)...and for me at least, it's a matter of discretion in my personal life that's all, not being evasive. Hey, if a lady really wanted to out me, big deal, the fallout from that is people would know here I am, a almost 50 year old single man seeing beautiful ladies...with no risk of alimony, support, losing half my property etc etc etc :-)

And as a sidebar, what about a guy retired...he would have no work number

Just asking

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

RG, you're not an average client. Most of the men who see companions are married. As for retired men, they're often very forthcoming about who they are.

 

I appreciate your concern for discretion. It's valid enough. I'm sure you can find a companion who will be happy to see you.

 

However, I'll say again, as I have many times before, regardless of the client's concerns about his privacy, he is never at as great a risk as the paid companion. We are always the ones who are in danger not only of being identified, but of being injured or worse. The greatest risk is to the companion, always.

 

Men who can't appreciate this simple fact, or who consider themselves to be more important or valuable than the women they want to meet simply do not make good clients, regardless of how nice they are or how much money they have. We know that, the moment there's any problem at all--a fire, an earthquake, the bomb squad needs to clear the hotel, etc.--that client will have not a moment's care for the companion and may even act to further compromise or endanger her if he thinks it will help him cover his tracks.

 

If a companion wants certain information from a prospective client, she has every right to try to get it. If she succeeds, good for her. If she finds that she can't get what she needs, she may have to reconsider her screening strategy. By and large, however, there are many, many men who are more than willing to do all we ask so that we can have peace of mind and know that we are safe.

[roamingguy 300292]

And Samantha

I certainly see your point, and I do agree, the ladies are in the position of greater risk than the guys, it is two strangers meeting

By the same token, the first encounter can also be looked at as the ultimate blind date

As for screening methods, both the ladies and guys have to do what is comfortable for them, and hopefully it works out and they get to meet

Thanks for the answer

RG

 

Additional Comments:

BTW I should add one more thing, and speaking only for myself and about myself, if there was any problem (fire, bomb squad etc), I'm not running away every man/woman/child for him/herself. I'm discrete about what I am doing, but not embarrassed or ashamed of it...after all, what is embarrassing or to be ashamed of being seen in the company of a lady

And I'm not just saying that, I treat people the way I would like to be treated, with respect and courtesy

RG

[belfastspider 240]

Personally speaking I always treat every appointment as if it was a date!! Yes I wear clean clothes,shower and brush my teeth.

 

These ladies are human beings!!

[freddy4escort 260]

Very good Samantha. I've so often thought how it must be to meet guys you haven't met before. Never knowing what to expect. And how disgusting to think cliants would visit you unclean!!!! I could never do that. I'm an older guy who tips well or pays more right up front when I know the lady. Thank you for the advice and for the service you provide!! XO

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Very good thread and wanted to bring it back up to the front...Thanks for the well written thread that EVERYONE needs to read!

 

xoxo

[marc123 281]

Very good thread and wanted to bring it back up to the front...Thanks for the well written thread that EVERYONE needs to read!

 

xoxo

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[Phaedrus 209521]

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