Language Barriers

[mister_crufty 4891]

Part of why I'm doing this is a midlife crisis, bucket list kind of thing. I really didn't date many women over my life and I feel like I should have more experiences while I'm still young and fit enough to really enjoy it. Also, I feel like I'm still attractive enough to have at least somewhat of a chance to induce a few lady-boners while I'm at it. ;-)

 

Here's one for the ladies: http://www.reddit.com/r/ladyboners

 

I've always found Asian women very beautiful so I thought it might be time to give it a whirl. It kind of feels vulgar...like I'm filling in a checklist:

 

Tattooed girl - check

Asian - check

Redhead - check

 

I won't try to defend it. Life is meant to be an adventure so as long as I'm not hurting anyone I think it can be justified. Maybe a less objectified checklist would be artist, philosopher, doctor, mathematician, stay at home mom....but I digress.

 

I probably needed to do more research but it seemed to me that you pretty much had to go through an agency for this which I really wasn't entirely comfortable with. "Soldier onward lad," I think, "Stiff upper lip. This is for your own good to step outside your comfort zone."

 

So I booked a nooner and went to the location. What a beautiful girl. I really couldn't ask for any more in that department. But there's a problem...she really doesn't speak much English.

 

Wow. I had NO IDEA how big of a problem that would be for me. I rely so much on being charming and friendly, talking and joking, having fun with the ladies as much as I can. I can now officially say that I will never be a sex tourist to non-english speaking countries. What a disaster. I was trying so hard...I wanted her to relax, enjoy herself, have a good time. I'm flirty, trying to loosen up the mood, see if I can get her to step outside the script. This poor girl had no idea what was going on. I'm pretty sure that she really didn't want to be there very much either.

 

She was so meticulous...scrubbed the hell out of me in the shower even though I'm always clean as a whistle, showering multiple times per day. I never imagined that kleenex could have such utility as a sex aid...you want to talk about aversion to bodily fluids? There was constant wiping and tut-tutting about any sweat or saliva and so on. I think that if sex is that gross to you, you're probably in the wrong line of work.

 

To be honest, I think she actually enjoyed "Mr. Licky the Magic Tongue" a fair bit but really, it seemed so hard for her to relax. I felt very sorry that she didn't seem to have a very good time and in the end, I almost wish that I hadn't gone at all. It wasn't horrible...it just...happened I suppose.

 

In the end, I guess I'm completely ambivalent to the experience. I didn't like it. I didn't dislike it. It just left me feeling empty. All it did is re-enforce for me what I've already discovered. To paraphrase Dijkstra, "This is no more about sex than astronomy is about telescopes." Sex is simply a tool to achieve the goal of closeness, intimacy and a connection, however brief, with another human being making the same lonely journey through life as I. And I'm so glad to already have had the luck to meet some ladies to share those moments with.

 

Cheers ladies. I love you all.

[Peachka 4334]

Sometimes our fantasies and desires play out better in our head than in real life! Keep looking and you may find a regular provider that meets these. The Kleenex wipe while giving BBBJ is common with many Asian SP's so don't take it personally.

[mister_crufty 4891]

That's an excellent point. Certainly one thing I'm discovering that I expect many of the SPs already know

 

Appearance has very little to do with beddability. Looking good might get that initial excitement but attitude, effort, compatibility, imagination, all the qualities given by our minds are what are really important.

 

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that these ladies have had some super hot guys who were completely wooden and boring. And probably some guys who were ugly as hell and absolutely rocked their worlds.

 

Look at Ron Jeremy or as I call him, "The Hedgehog of Love". I've heard the ladies all love him and believe me, it ain't for his looks amirite?

 

:-D

 

Sometimes our fantasies and desires play out better in our head than in real life! Keep looking and you may find a regular provider that meets these. The Kleenex wipe while giving BBBJ is common with many Asian SP's so don't take it personally.

[kechara 2526]

I have seen 2 different Asian SPs from different agencies. Both actually spoke English, 1 better than the other. The thing I found from seeing the ladies is that it is a different experience than seeing some of the other ladies who are not with an agency. It turns into more just sex with the ladies from the Asian agency, where I have found more intimacy with the independent SP.

 

I have to admit though with one of the Asian ladies it felt like such a wild passionate time I went back multiple times ..:)

[Guest *****gr]

I have seen 2 different Asian SPs from different agencies. Both actually spoke English, 1 better than the other. The thing I found from seeing the ladies is that it is a different experience than seeing some of the other ladies who are not with an agency. It turns into more just sex with the ladies from the Asian agency, where I have found more intimacy with the independent SP.

 

I have to admit though with one of the Asian ladies it felt like such a wild passionate time I went back multiple times ..:)

 

I agree. While my sample size is nowhere close to as large as other people who visit SPs, agency girls were like kechara said, just sex I guess but I thoroughly enjoyed my time.

[fortunateone 156618]

An agency sp might warm up after the first visit. Just remember she has no say in who she sees, and try not to alarm her with too many demands or expectations, just relax and let her lead the way and you should do fine.

 

If the sp is a good match for you, book thru the agency again and I imagine that she will remember and appreciate and relax herself a great deal now she knows you.

 

And keep in mind there are legal asian sps working independently that you can find on cerb as well, or ask, and then language won't be an issue.

[kechara 2526]

 

If the sp is a good match for you, book thru the agency again and I imagine that she will remember and appreciate and relax herself a great deal now she knows you.

 

I completely agree.

 

The lady I went back to see 4 times did remember me and things we talked about. It is also true things are more relaxed as people get to know each other. She just happens to be out of town now, however if she does come back to Ottawa I would go and see her again since she is a nice person, she also speaks English.

[mister_crufty 4891]

I hope no one is thinking I'm making generalizations... This wasn't meant to be a knock on Asians or anyone else.

 

It's just that I realized how important conversation is to me. I'm learning from these mistakes and the next time I'll be more careful. YMMV always in effect, agency or not right? Unfortunately my mileage didn't vary the way I would have liked. Not the end of the world and certainly not a knock on the lady.

 

I don't think I was pushy or demanding, I just couldn't seem to get her to let down her guard and relax. But I don't know her or what her story is so maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

 

As you said, some people take longer to warm up. In retrospect, I should have tried a few phrases in Google translate on my phone. Perhaps I might have been able to make her understand that her comfort, pleasure, safety and happiness were of paramount importance to me.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I understand the language issue and feel very much the same way. It can also occur if you are a pure anglophone and see a girl coming up from Montreal who has little English.

 

The Asian scene in Ottawa is largely girls with little English so I just pass. I too need conversation to open things up. Some Asian cultures are also more stand-offish than others. If you go to Toronto there is a wider selection of Asians that have been born and raised in Canada and thus are fluent in English.

 

If you like Thai ladies then watch to see if Jasmine Thai ever travels back to Ottawa. She is knock-out with stellar service.

 

Good luck and welcome to wonderland!

[mister_crufty 4891]

I wouldn't say I have "yellow fever" (is that an offensive term?) or any particular race based fetish. I'm like Stephen Colbert... I don't see color. ;-)

 

I just love beautiful women. Personality wins in the end every time though and it's really hard for that to cross a language barrier. Not impossible I think but challenging.

 

BTW, it wasn't just wiping after a bj... it was constant. Too much sweat, too much lube, too much saliva... Girl was throwing Kleenex like confetti. It was almost funny but it really gave the impression that she found everything about it gross.

 

When I'm having sexy time, if I have a spare hand I like to give a little reach around. Give a little extra simulation. Usually I'll give my fingers a bit of a lick so as not to be rubbing anything raw. Well! "Ewww..no!", she goes, reaching for more Kleenex, and I'm thinking, "damn girl, I just spent 15 minutes licking that thing and now you're worried about a little spit?" :-D

 

I'm looking back and laughing now but at the time it was hard not to feel a little dirty and ashamed.

[Phaedrus 209521]

It kind of feels vulgar...like I'm filling in a checklist:

 

I wouldn't feel guilty about it - I'm sure many of us are doing the same, to a greater or lesser extent, and consciously or otherwise. One of the fantastic things about this is the fact that you --can-- experiment in this way, and meet (and have fun times with) people that you'd never get to meet (much less have fun with) in real life.

 

So I booked a nooner and went to the location. What a beautiful girl. I really couldn't ask for any more in that department. But there's a problem...she really doesn't speak much English.

 

Wow. I had NO IDEA how big of a problem that would be for me.

 

Yeah, I'm with you on the language thing. It's --really-- important to me to be able to have a conversation with someone; I've had one encounter with an asian SP who was great in most respects, but the fact that I couldn't have even a simple conversation with her just made the whole thing... awkward. And I'm afraid that when I go to see a SP, "awkward" is not high on my wish-list.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Alternatively, some gentlemen who are quiet and shy themselves take solace in the language barrier issue, and it might be a main factor in their choice to visit Asian providers. Some men are extremely nervous when seeing ladies, so for the less outgoing lads, the language barrier can take the pressure off to offer stimulating conversation, or to be witty. Some guys don't necessarily want to make a connection, and just want to bust a nut. Nothin' wrong with that. There truly is something for everyone! :)

[mister_crufty 4891]

There truly is something for everyone! :)

 

It's like the most fabulous buffet. The buffet of SEX!

 

(puts on his cheerleader skirt)

 

B - Double-O - B - I - E - S....boobies are what we love best...yaaaaaay boobies!!!

 

(shakes pom-poms)

[fredsmith 5240]

Some guys don't necessarily want to make a connection, and just want to bust a nut. Nothin' wrong with that. There truly is something for everyone! :)

 

This is applicable in the thread about 15 minute encounters as well.