The Art of Flirtation: Lost or Alive?

[Guest S***e]

There's been a number of threads concerning the lack of, on the part of some of the younger guys these days, courtesy, consideration, manners and respect being afforded SPs and women in general. My female friends range in age between mid-twenties and late-fifties. Occasionally, I find myself in dicussions with them on various male-female interaction issues and it seems that according to many the "art of flirtation" is quickly becoming a lost art especially amongst the younger guys, e.g. 35 and younger who do not know how to flirt with women. My father who is long deceased was a very handsome gentleman and he was a master of the art of flirtation. He was a true gentleman in every sense of the word. I inherited his gift for flirtation, but not his very good looks. I look more like the family dog. There is a line between being flirtatious and being rude or crude...very different things! One female friend of mine who is in her mid-fifties and is a stunningly beautiful woman flirts with me on a regular basis. I flirt with her and it's a lot of fun, so much so that her flirtations are very arousing to say the least, yet I remain in the fullest of control. Most of my women friends enjoy my harmless, yet tasteful flirtation; even my wife gets a huge kick out of it. But, as I mentioned in the onset of this, is it just us older guys in our 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are keeping this art alive? I love women flirting with me and I love flirting with them. That said, my dad would be proud of me. Practising the art of flirtation can be stimulating, erotic, provide feelings of worth, and downright fun when done correctly within the bounds of good taste and with respect. Keeping it alive is important. Any thoughts? Lost, dying or alive and well, age notwithstanding?

 

Old Spike "Flirtatious well into my 60s and lovin' it!"

[capitalman 3861]

Flirting is the best! It makes me think of the art of telling a joke too. Technology has killed it. The internet and email killed it. Nobody tells jokes any more, they just email them around.

 

Do people now just text each other? How can you flirt when the other person is looking down at their ipod or texting on their phone or talking to outerspace on a wireless phone/headpiece? Everyone is distracted.

 

Then again, the whole AIDS thing in the late 80's and 90's killed sex/flirting/dating/sex in ads quite a bit. It seems to have come back but maybe it'll never be the same?

[d*mm*y 887]

You can now flirt on MSN or via txt if you have the knack!! I love taking time to flirt in fact I flirt at least 60% of my day. That knowing smile that extra look back and maybe wink. A soft caress, in fact my wife needs flirting to get her in the mood and with enough of it she is driven into a frenzie!! That is why I perfer 2 hour appointments. It is amazing how many people are players in the flirt game!

[YoungStud 468]

Dummpy's right. There are many ways to flirt. I love them all. Flirting is not only fun, it can be profitable. Lol. Plus, it's just a great way to let women know they are liked.

[jerican 657]

I am a shameless flirt, at work, at restaurants, when I travel. I have developed a habit of telling women that I find them beautiful. In fact I was having breakfast the other day at a local Broadways and noticed that the waitress was really attractive (tall, slim, pale skin, blond, nice star tattoo on her upper neck).

 

She came over at one point and asked me a question, I paused and she asked if everything was OK, I responded 'It is now that I am able to look at a woman as beautiful as you, thank you for making my day better.' Not in a smirky way, not with glances to my friends, just a sincere compliment.

 

She blushed, my friends ribbed me, but you know what? I got all the attention from that point on, she didn't charge me for the baileys I was adding to my coffee and gave me a huge smile when I left. I appreciate the beauty that is women and wonder why we do not let them know more often when we find them attractive....no pressure, no ulterior motive, just a compliment.

 

If any of the SP's/MP's read this thread, how do you react or would you react if someone like me stopped you and said something like that? Would you think we are trying something? Would you rebuke it? Just curious.

[YoungStud 468]

Bailey's for breakfast. Interesting concept.

[rickoshadows 937]

Bailey's for breakfast. Interesting concept.

 

Oooh, Flashback to my misspent youth, along with Seizure(Ceasar) Sundays.

[Seymour 3970]

Flirting is alive - I have to watch myself because I keep pushing the envelope all the time. It is one thing to flirt with ladies on the forum here or in an email or PM or personal communication - however in the business world there are boundaries and well -that's seems to be where I'm pushing the envelope. Sometimes I do or say something and then realize oops - should not have done that..so far I've managed to get away with it. I probably won't stop, just gotta be aware of it. Gotta be me I suppose.

[jerican 657]

Bailey's for breakfast. Interesting concept.

 

To my credit it was between softball games and was 11ish, it helped my hitting during the next game, the running...not so much.:grin:

[AttilaTheHun 356]

I think I was born with the gift of flirting. I can remember being very young (7 years old) and flirting with my friends mother. I've always been known to remark little details like hair colour, new clothes, lipstick and very politely commented about how it suited them. For me, it was just being polite when I was young, of course later in my teenage years I mastered the art of flirtation and it got me pussy and lots of it. I was a pure menace in my neighborhood by hitting on every lonely milf. I subsequently was asked to leave by more than a few angry husbands. In my 50's and still flirt at every occaission I get.

 

The Hun

[etasman2000 15994]

In general, I tend to think that a man who makes a general remark about how beautiful I am wants something. I'm attractive enough, but please...! :roll:

 

Most beautiful women hear this all too often.

 

 

However, a compliment about something specific--my smile, my eyes, my hands, the colour of my dress--feels more genuine and gets a better reaction from me.

 

Always. It indicates the gentleman took time to notice something unique about you. Sometimes you might be surprise to find the way you toss your hair is an attractive quality.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Compliments are wonderful, especially if they are honest.

 

Having said that, I come from a culture (Europe) where we used to get compliments instead of equal pay or respectful treatment.

I remember the guys treating us women as accessories, they made the good money and the important decisions, we made the coffee and smiled and looked pretty.

 

I remember one new job I once had where my boss gave me his jacket to sew on his missing button. I was supposed to be an accounting clerk. I remember doing it without thinking twice.

 

Well, I am extremely happy that I came to a country where I was not being used to make coffee and to be an eye-candy for the guys, but was taken seriously in my day jobs.

 

If you ask me, compliments are great, but they can also be used to put you in your place.

 

I am sure the waitress was very grateful for the compliment, but could this have happened the other way?

Could I, as a female client tell a male waiter how handsome he is? Or could have the waitress walk up to the customer and tell him she is happy to serve such a good looking guy? Or could a male waiter flirt with a female customer without risking his job?

 

What I am trying to get at is that in order to give compliments you have to be in a superior position.

 

Another thing that bothers me is that once someone gave me a compliment, I feel like he expects me to look pretty all the time, so somehow I am obligated to live up to his expectations. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't let my hair down in his presence, which can be very tiring. Other thing that goes through my mind is that this person thinks he is entitled to critique me, why?

And what does he want from me?

 

As I said, compliments can be great, but the timing and the situation should be right. Not too many people can pull it off :)

[jerican 657]

Hmm, you raise some valid points, personally when I compliment someone I don't know I only ever do it if I truly mean it and I never expect anything from it. In the case of the waitress she was incredibly nice, really friendly and seemed to be having a good day. The beautiful comment was for her looks but also because I felt she was a beautiful person as well. The timing felt right imo and I think she appreciated the comment.

 

Personally I wish people would be more open and honest when they compliment, in this case I commented on her being beautiful in general. In other cases I mention eyes or smiles or general things that just stand out.

 

Frankly I would always appreciate a compliment, I really wish our society was more accepting of compliments without a catch. I am someone who really appreciates a woman's beauty and like to comment on it if it feels right. I also appreciate the beauty of a soul and mind and have complimented on those facets as well.

 

Compliments are wonderful, especially if they are honest.

 

Having said that, I come from a culture (Europe) where we used to get compliments instead of equal pay or respectful treatment.

I remember the guys treating us women as accessories, they made the good money and the important decisions, we made the coffee and smiled and looked pretty.

 

I remember one new job I once had where my boss gave me his jacket to sew on his missing button. I was supposed to be an accounting clerk. I remember doing it without thinking twice.

 

Well, I am extremely happy that I came to a country where I was not being used to make coffee and to be an eye-candy for the guys, but was taken seriously in my day jobs.

 

If you ask me, compliments are great, but they can also be used to put you in your place.

 

I am sure the waitress was very grateful for the compliment, but could this have happened the other way?

Could I, as a female client tell a male waiter how handsome he is? Or could have the waitress walk up to the customer and tell him she is happy to serve such a good looking guy? Or could a male waiter flirt with a female customer without risking his job?

 

What I am trying to get at is that in order to give compliments you have to be in a superior position.

 

Another thing that bothers me is that once someone gave me a compliment, I feel like he expects me to look pretty all the time, so somehow I am obligated to live up to his expectations. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't let my hair down in his presence, which can be very tiring. Other thing that goes through my mind is that this person thinks he is entitled to critique me, why?

And what does he want from me?

 

As I said, compliments can be great, but the timing and the situation should be right. Not too many people can pull it off :)

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Hmm, you raise some valid points, personally when I compliment someone I don't know I only ever do it if I truly mean it and I never expect anything from it. In the case of the waitress she was incredibly nice, really friendly and seemed to be having a good day. The beautiful comment was for her looks but also because I felt she was a beautiful person as well. The timing felt right imo and I think she appreciated the comment.

 

Personally I wish people would be more open and honest when they compliment, in this case I commented on her being beautiful in general. In other cases I mention eyes or smiles or general things that just stand out.

 

Frankly I would always appreciate a compliment, I really wish our society was more accepting of compliments without a catch. I am someone who really appreciates a woman's beauty and like to comment on it if it feels right. I also appreciate the beauty of a soul and mind and have complimented on those facets as well.

 

I am sure jerican, you meant it in a nice way. I did not address my thought to you specifically, just wanted you guys to consider some other aspects. Of course it makes my day when I get a honest compliment where I know the person doesn't expect anything in return. Also, I understand that in my profession I am getting compliments because of the situation we are in. Some are genuine, some are not, it doesn't really matter.

 

You might want to understand that I am a bit suspicious of flirting and compliments, having come from a culture where it is often used to take advantage of women, to get into their panties, or to shut them up.

 

For example "I have seen you dancing cheek-to-cheek with that woman"...."Oh, dear, just look at her, you are a lot prettier than her" She smiles happily, guy is off the hook and is free to dance with anyone like that anytime.

 

Sorry for being suspicious, but I think dishonest guys have spoiled it for the honest ones.

 

Just want you to know that we can tell the difference most of the time :)

 

Peace :)

[bylogger 136]

When I was a young man, with those abs and buns of steel, I was complimented by women. And the flirting was fun.

 

Referring to the early question of whether flirting is still alive, I am sure it is, but I was a witness to a young man (18 or so) coming onto an older woman (22). His come on was about himself. Maybe with more experience, but I could only shake my head as the young lady shook off the pest.

 

 

Compliments are wonderful, especially if they are honest.

 

Could I, as a female client tell a male waiter how handsome he is?

 

As I said, compliments can be great, but the timing and the situation should be right. Not too many people can pull it off :)

[jerican 657]

So there is a woman at my work who I have known for nearly 9 years as a colleague and friend. She is very attractive and is incredibly sexual. Over the years we have had byplay, but ever since she came back from maternity leave we have become incredibly flirtatious. She is one of those women that looks better after pregnancy (imo), it suited her and her body benefited from it.

 

She has quite large breasts but her best features are her amazing skin, skin tone, perfect shoulders and long neck. When we see each other she always says hi handsome, or you look sexy today, the occasional hand on my arm or leg. In return I sometimes gently run my hand along her shoulders, compliment her on her eyes, smile or general sexiness. Sometimes we get carried away and start texting with sexual innuendos and back and forth play that is generally harmless but fun.

 

Today as a I walked past her desk (our office space is next to each other) I was distracted by a client e-mail and did not say anything to her. She called over and said 'morning handsome, I can't believe you didn't comment on my choice of top' That stopped me and I went to her desk. She had on a form fitting (but classy) white top that strapped around her amazing neck. She has a pool (and lives in it) so she has this amazing natural tan.

 

I walked over to her (and she made another teasing compliment) and I said I loved the top. She asked me with a mischievous grin why I liked it. It scooped down to lower back and I gently rested my fingertips around her spine at mid back. She immediately got goose pimples and I ran my fingers lightly up her spine, traced her right shoulder, then the left and slowly up her neck to her ear. As I was running my fingers up her neck she arched her back, tilted her neck and her lips parted. I looked down (she was sitting) and I could see her nipples hardening as my fingers lightly traced up her neck.

 

I was quickly getting an erection and said (a little breathless) 'I like the top because it shows your beautiful touchable skin, shoulders and you look incredibly sexy in it' She looked up at me (nipples were very hard and poking through the shirt), my fingertips were barely touching her neck below her ear (I could feel her pulse quickening) and we shared 'that' look. You all know the look, the one that says we should be ripping each others clothes off.

 

A phone rang down the hall and we came back to where we were. My hand went to my side, she took a breath, we shared a chuckle and went back to our day. I did get this message from her though - 'too bad we were at work, who knows what would have happened if we were out at drinks...wanna get a drink later? :)'

 

I have to say my erection took a while to go away...a good (if a little frustrating;)) start to my morning.

[YoungStud 468]

Amazing little anecdote well-told!

 

Three thoughts:

 

1) Yep, been there occasionally. Thank god that phone rang. Lol.

 

2) In many workplaces today, if co-workers observed anything like that, you'd stand a good risk of being disciplined or fired thanks to a complaint by the correctness police.

 

3) Good you're both into it, or it would be workplace harassment for sure. Lol.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

3) Good you're both into it, or it would be workplace harassment for sure. Lol.

 

Or she might be working on it LOL

[jerican 657]

I work in sales as an engineer, we have no HR in Ottawa, the others in my office are even worse then me and at times it feels like we are in a hedonism resort (our kickoffs are ridiculous). You should see some of the comments she has sent me!! If I logged them I could file a major harassment suit!:smile:

 

As mentioned I have known her for many, many years and we are always careful when we flirt...for the most part. She killed me later in the day when she asked me to help her tie up the shirt as it came 'loose' while she was doing something (not me unfortunately).

 

Amazing little anecdote well-told!

 

Three thoughts:

 

1) Yep, been there occasionally. Thank god that phone rang. Lol.

 

2) In many workplaces today, if co-workers observed anything like that, you'd stand a good risk of being disciplined or fired thanks to a complaint by the correctness police.

 

3) Good you're both into it, or it would be workplace harassment for sure. Lol.

 

Or she might be working on it LOL

[VedaSloan 119179]

I like to flirt. I do it on MSN all the time and in real life. My only problem lies in flirting with women. Haven't mastered that one yet. The only woman I ever hit on (in a bar) turned out to be deaf, but for about 15 minutes I thought she was ignoring me.

 

Playful banter and witty reparte for the win!

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

....Samantha slowly turns her head and her long, dark lashes sweep upward when she settles her gaze on Erin. She gives a slow wink, then, raking the fingers of one hand through her auburn hair, she tosses the mass of it over her shoulder and leans toward Erin. "Flirting with women isn't so hard, Erin. We're just more... subtle, one might say."

[VedaSloan 119179]

....Samantha slowly turns her head and her long, dark lashes sweep upward when she settles her gaze on Erin. She gives a slow wink, then, raking the fingers of one hand through her auburn hair, she tosses the mass of it over her shoulder and leans toward Erin. "Flirting with women isn't so hard, Erin. We're just more... subtle, one might say."

 

 

Ooooo you're good.

[etasman2000 15994]

I work in sales as an engineer, we have no HR in Ottawa, the others in my office are even worse then me and at times it feels like we are in a hedonism resort (our kickoffs are ridiculous).

 

errrr.....you guys hiring :-D

[jerican 657]

Quite the opposite unfortunately, this years kickoff was cancelled.:-( We usually went to a resort nearish Toronto for three days and had unlimited booze the first night...hence all the craziness.

 

errrr.....you guys hiring :-D

[Annessa 22743]

I dont think its so much the art of flirting thats dead...so much as the art of courtship.

 

any bloke at a bar can toss out a line or too or send a wink in a general direction (whether or not it works is another story) but maybe I'm old fashioned in thinking that flirtation today consists of far too many egos flirting with the idea that they need to impress a woman (or sometimes even bigger egos thinking that they dont need to at all and the very fact that they're talking to that lady should make her feel special)...instead of making her feel swept off her feet.

 

obviously not to toot my own horn but I get hit on a lot when I go out from random strangers, some flirtation I appreciate and some bring out the mean in me. But I think that some of the men today...no wait...boys today have lost the concept of what true flirtation actually demands of the individual flirting. a humble flirtation to me is far more productive than a peacock feather contest if you know what I mean.

 

 

and on the subject of bar flirtation, if all else fails guys:

 

hehe