What do you think?

[Guest]

What do you guys think of these articles?

 

 

http://thehealthyapron.com/2012/03/07/skinny-shaming-is-it-okay/

 

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2011/01/skinny-girl-problems-are-real.html

 

I have felt the sting of skinny shaming myself and from reading a thread from another site, I sometimes feel like people feel like it's okey to put down skinny women. I feel like we all have things that make us insecure and that we should except ourselves for who we are. We should be proud of our shape and own it. I don't think that anyone should be judged for their outward appearance. This body to me is a shell, kind of like the cloths we wear everyday, this shell goes way beyond the way it looks.

 

Another, thought. Is skinny shaming the same as shaming people for being bigger or is it acceptable because people desire to be thin. Due to society putting pressure on people through media to be thin?

[1963Kennedy 10698]

just ask Melissa McCarthy. In the 1st link with Angelia people were surprised at how much weight she had lost, ie: very thin from what was "normal" Angelina and yes this is an issue. 2nd link was just a lot of likely young mean spirited people.

God gave you the body you have and I believe your weight hasn't changed over the years. Ignore the people who comment on you-they are most likely just jealous. And, as you well know in this business there is a place for everyone. From the curvier big busted big booty to the spinner who is at other end and everyone in between.

Keep smiling beautiful (in every way)

[andflemcol 3975]

I like to think that human nature being what it is, most people who make comments about someone else's weight, height, hair line or anything don't realize that it is sometimes hurtful. I can excuse that most of the time. When some people make those comments with a smidgin of intent then they are usually trying to put people down to make up their own short comings.

 

I am often impressed with people who may be targeted for any kind of shaming ( intentional or not) but are completely comfortable with the hand they were dealt. Kudos to them.

[roamingguy 300292]

When a person tries to embaress another (btw this is just my opinion) for being overweight, underweight, short, tall, bald, their skin colour, ethnicity etc they are likely hiding their own insecurities about themselves.

Really, shouldn't we just worry about being the best man or woman (as the case may be) we can be and stop focusing on others. Isn't it the person we are inside that counts

My two cent, from a guy who is at an ideal weight if I were 7 1/2 feet tall

RG

[Guest a**4*]

You are a very beautiful,attractive girl nobody has the right to judge one's appearence,you are who you are we all look different.The one's that judge need to look in the mirror there are alot of cracks in the mirror keep smiling you are beautiful and so are others.....:icon_smile:.....:bowdown:

[Jade-S (Retired) 19717]

First let me say....you are incredibly beautiful. (see post about St. Bernard lol)

 

Second, yes I think its a problem, some women are naturally thin and some...feel the need to fit into a stereotype that is ridiculous.

 

I often wonder why there is such pressure to be so thin and where it comes from, media obviously for a start. I wonder at what point did women start to say that what people want and thats what I need to be?

 

Marilyn Monroe who was WOW for a lack of better word was a size? and stunning.

 

Angelina Jolie? Just as stunning.

 

Either side of shaming is horrible. Whether we (or others) feel we are too thin or overweight. Either is judged and there's no one who has "perfect"

 

And yet...we all are. Perfect in our own unique individual ways. Tall slender and beautiful like peachy average? like myself or beautiful women that have all those lovely curves in all the right places!

 

Society can go hang! lol As long as you are happy inside and comfortable in your own skin? its all that matters you are already perfectly perfect as you

 

J xoxo

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I think roamingguy said it best. Those who try to put down others (for whatever reason) are trying to cover up their own faults and hide their own insecurities. Really we should feel sorry for them not only because they have a dark heart, or only because they are a loser and a trash in the eyes of the good and they are evil but mainly because they themselves have so much faults inside out that they have to resort to putting down others to feel good about themselves in order to cover their own self-shame (in their own eyes only).

[waterat 20911]

Although neither of these two songs are about body image judgements they express unversl sentiments which could be applied:

 

Bruce Cochburn's Free to Be - "can it be so hard? To love yourself without thinkin' someone else holds a lower card"

 

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Free+to+be+Bruce+Cockburn

 

John Prine's A Good Time - "You can laugh for the lack of something else to do. And no one will laugh and point at you"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVWaYxnNiW8

 

It's that inner beauty that I admire and is important to me.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I grew up skinny and can relate. I was always teased.Then when you become a slender adult some will accuse you of not eating, purging, or other methods of gettig rid of your food. This can cause some to have eating disorders. It seems in the press someone is always being criticized for either being to small or to large. No matter what your size one will always be smaller or larger than someone else, the important thing is to be healthy. As there is beauty in all sizes. Most wouldn't admit to it but we all make judgements on someones appearence when first meeting them, wether conciously or not. Especially in this business. There is alot that can make a person attractive but certainly when a man is viewing a ladies pictures he is simply looking for his idea of physical beauty and that includes a certain body type/size. If we are all going to be honest anyone that is included on some of the best of threads has been judged as someones ideal of beauty and those left out have been, perhaps unintenionally, judged as well, as not being someones ideal of beauty by the mere fact of omission. In the end what is important for anyone is having a strong sense of self and knowing your worth. We are all valuable and everyone has redeeming traits/qualities. Some are just more obvious on some . But as judge Judy alway says beauty fades-dumb is forever and as I say getting into a book is far more fun than just staring at it's cover.:biggrin:

[Fresh start 17467]

I don't think anyone should be put down for any reason weather you're skinny, fat, race, religion ect. It can be very hurtful, its disrespectful and if you ask me it's bullying. Plain and simple

Unfortunately we live in a society were this happens to much and people need to start realizing it.

[Guest]

I don't think anyone should be put down for any reason weather you're skinny, fat, race, religion ect. It can be very hurtful, its disrespectful and if you ask me it's bullying. Plain and simple

Unfortunately we live in a society were this happens to much and people need to start realizing it.

 

 

It's really too bad that anyone would be ostracized for the way the look, for their sexual orientation or because of their heritage but it happens. Hopefully as time goes along we can break through these barriers.

 

Also, it is amazing that we can really talk about this on this website because Cristy was right in what she posted. This business is based on physical beauty. However, there's a market for everyone because everyone's perception on beauty is different. From bigger ladies to smaller woman like me.

 

Although, I'm very confident in who I am, I wanted to bring up a topic that doesn't get discussed very often. I think it's unfair that people who are bigger get shamed for their size. However, you see a lot of conversations about that. I haven't seen very many conversations about what happens when people are shamed for being skinny. I thank the people who participated in this conversation. I'm really happy that we can discuss things like this in a mature manner. It's really good to take a look at the other side of the coin. Far to often I have been told to eat or given that look because I really enjoy my exercise regime. Even though I'm desensitized to comments like that. It still happens. I just wanted to point out that it does happen to us skinny woman too.

 

Another skinny girl problem. Let's say you actually gain about 5 pounds people feel more comfortable in telling you that you gained weight. I have had it happen with friends and clients. My weight fluctuates just like everyone else. I really don't think I'm going to gain 6 to 10 sizes overnight, lol. Especially, since I have been about the same weight the whole time, give or take 5 to 10 ponds. I just don't think anything comes from telling anyone they've gained weight, unless your of course their gym trainer and that's your job.

[someguy 67067]

Hey Peachy

 

You are beautiful, just the way your are :)

It's your inner beauty and kindness that shines :)

You are intelligent and go out of your way to please your clients.

and your posts are intelligent and well thought out.

[Athos 108589]

We live in one screwed up world. I don't understand what drives people to put others down. Is it simply a way in which some people build themselves up by tearing others down. You don't look like me, so there is something wrong with you. You don't find the same sort of woman, man, whatever, attractive, so you must be weird. It just goes on and on.

 

This is a beautiful world, full of people who are diverse in their looks and likes. That's what makes it so amazing. We need to embrace difference ... explore it, revel in it, and enjoy it.

 

oh ... and if it hasn't been said enough: Peachy my dear, you are beautiful ... inside and out.

[neebleton 2940]

re: skinny shaming

 

I wish plus-size clothing stores would stop running ad campaigns saying stuff like "Clothes for real women". Slender people aren't imaginary!

[Luckyme 41401]

I have felt the sting of skinny shaming myself and from reading a thread from another site, I sometimes feel like people feel like it's okey to put down skinny women. I feel like we all have things that make us insecure and that we should except ourselves for who we are. We should be proud of our shape and own it. I don't think that anyone should be judged for their outward appearance. This body to me is a shell, kind of like the cloths we wear everyday, this shell goes way beyond the way it looks.

 

 

I will not pay too much attention to most of the posts on the other site, Peachy. Some of those posts are from jealous souls, some are made out of spite and some, tongue-in-cheek. They should be ignored except the positive ones. In this society, no matter who we are, what we are, and how we look like, there'll be some who feel they need to criticize and put us down. We just have to ignore them and go on with our lives.

 

I am very glad that you said in your second post here - "I am very confident in who I am.. ". That's the way should be. Most folks here who know you will agree with me that you are a very beautiful person physically, with a wonderful personality, a kind heart, a good head on your shoulder, admirable work ethic, and -- you are a sheer joy to be with!

[Ashley Ann 75247]

While I agree there is all sorts of shaming out there, I have to say - this is somewhat of a first for me, that women who have the body shape that is usually (95% the time) considered to be perfect...to be criticized or shamed.

 

Just imagine how the people who do not fit into the perfect category feel. People like that (myself included) see, hear and witness negative comments regarding appearances that do not fit into societys idea of perfection, on a daily basis...and its not just via a few blogs here and there-it is everywhere.

 

As for the online hate stuff-I find that the ones who say the most negative and vile stuff, are usually the kinds of people with very, very little going on in their lives-and use the web as their personal outlet to say things they would never dare say to anyones face because they are usually very weak in many aspects.

[Guest]

Although, I agree with you Vanessa that it is wrong to shame anyone who is not considered to be in a perfect mold. Skinny shaming does happen. I don't know how many times I have heard someone say to me eat a sandwich, ect,ect. People feel like because we are small we do not have a right to be upset about people saying these kinds of things to skinny/smaller women. We're human too and we hurt just like anyone else. Just because I fall into a certain weight category does not mean I don't hurt any less than bigger girls who get shammed about their body image.

 

I have in the past been accused of being anorexic and many other hurtful things and the reality is that I can eat more than a man sometimes.

 

The fact is skinny shaming does happen. However, people are made to feel like it's not okey to be upset about feeling bad because they are considered to be the perfect shape to mainstream society. Like Jade had said who made these rules anyway. It's not fair to be made to feel guilty because your upset about someone wrong doing you, picking on you because of the body you were born with. The fact is that this topic does not get discussed a lot and that's why I brought it up.

 

I am in no way advocating any body image shamming. I understand that it happens to bigger people all the time. I just wanted to point out that it happens to us skinny people too, more than people would like to realize. It's just good to see the other side of the coin. This is not a conversation just about me. This is an interesting topic I thought I would bring up because It does happen to other women. I do have situations that can support my topic, however, I feel happy and healthy about my weight. I just wanted to read others opinions about this topic. Big smile.

 

Another article.

 

http://melbel.hubpages.com/hub/Naturally-Thin-Skinny-Not-Anorexic

[fredsmith 5240]

Although, I agree with you Vanessa that it is wrong to shame anyone who is not considered to be in a perfect mold. Skinny shaming does happen. I don't know how many times I have heard someone say to me eat a sandwich, ect,ect.

 

Peachy,

 

As a skinny man I am aware of how it feels to be criticized, ridiculed, or made to feel less of a man because of my physical size. Although the criticism's would be different based on our gender, the way we feel would be similar.

 

Having said that I would have to agree with Vanessa. Larger women face way more criticism than slender/skinny women. Society in general is less accepting of larger women. Most magazine covers, TV and movie stars are not large women, of course there are always exceptions.

 

I have read on this and other sites how BBW women don't get as many recommendations because of their size. Men aren't afraid to say they love a spinner but they are much less likely to say they love a BBW, even though many many men do.

 

I'm not in any way trying to trivialize how you feel or deny that you are criticized because you are thin. All I'm trying to say is that in the bigger picture your appearance is much more accepted in the society we live in today.

[Guest]

I agree with you Fred. I understand that bbw's go through a lot, more than a skinny/spinner would. I'm not debating that fact. I'm just pointing out that this situation does happen. I'm against any body image shamming, it's not right. This is not about spinners verses bbw's, this is about skinny shaming. Anyone who feels like it's okey to put anyone else down to lift themselves up is just wrong. I'm simply pointing out that skinny shaming does happen. I'm not trying to minimize what happens to bbw. It's in the name big beautiful woman. All I want is for people to not minimize what happens to smaller people too.

 

Although, I do have points/personal situations to support my thread. I am in no way having personal problems due to experiences I have gone through, due to my size. I have come to terms with this long ago. Much like Melanie I still deal with people making comments about my weight, however, I have learnt to cope with it and it is more entertaining than anything. I was merely trying to point out a true problem in society no matter how big or small this problem may be. It seems to be one of those things that people want to sweep under the rug. I will restate my earlier comment. Please, do not minimize this problem. Please soak it in and realize that this happens. This is not about spinner vs. bww. This is about skinny shaming. Please, just don't minimize this and read it for what it's meant to be.

[fredsmith 5240]

 

Please, do not minimize this problem. Please soak it in and realize that this happens. This is not about spinner vs. bww. This is about skinny shaming. Please, just don't minimize this and read it for what it's meant to be.

 

I thought I made it clear that I was not minimizing your feelings. Guess I failed.

[Guest]

I thought I made it clear that I was not minimizing your feelings. Guess I failed.

 

You did not fail at all. I just elaborated some of my thoughts on this topic and wanted to steer the conversation back on track. This is not about spinner verses bbw, this is about skinny shaming. I think it is important to address bbw shaming as well. However, in my opinion they are both the same kind of shame dealt in different manners, they both feel crappy and they are both meant to hurt someone.

 

Goodnight, Cerbies.

 

XoXo

Peachy/Val.

[Guest]

Although, I agree with you Vanessa that it is wrong to shame anyone who is not considered to be in a perfect mold. Skinny shaming does happen. I don't know how many times I have heard someone say to me eat a sandwich, ect,ect. People feel like because we are small we do not have a right to be upset about people saying these kinds of things to skinny/smaller women. We're human too and we hurt just like anyone else. Just because I fall into a certain weight category does not mean I don't hurt any less than bigger girls who get shammed about their body image.

 

I have in the past been accused of being anorexic and many other hurtful things and the reality is that I can eat more than a man sometimes.

 

The fact is skinny shaming does happen. However, people are made to feel like it's not okey to be upset about feeling bad because they are considered to be the perfect shape to mainstream society. Like Jade had said who made these rules anyway. It's not fair to be made to feel guilty because your upset about someone wrong doing you, picking on you because of the body you were born with. The fact is that this topic does not get discussed a lot and that's why I brought it up.

 

I am in no way advocating any body image shamming. I understand that it happens to bigger people all the time. I just wanted to point out that it happens to us skinny people too, more than people would like to realize. It's just good to see the other side of the coin. This is not a conversation just about me. This is an interesting topic I thought I would bring up because It does happen to other women. I do have situations that can support my topic, however, I feel happy and healthy about my weight. I just wanted to read others opinions about this topic. Big smile.

 

Another article.

 

http://melbel.hubpages.com/hub/Naturally-Thin-Skinny-Not-Anorexic

 

I will re add this statement.

 

Additional Comments:

That statement says it all. YOU ARE society's standard for beauty. You're upset because a very small group of people criticize you.

 

Get over it, you're a lucky woman, gain 50-100lbs and see if your life gets better.

 

I did change comment #21 because I did ask if skinny shaming was the same as bbw shaming, that was my mistake. I just wanted to state that skinny shaming does happen. I'm sorry for my question being open ended like that. I do not want this thread to be a spinner verses bbw thread that's all. I also thought I was addressing Vanessa and you in an appropriate way, just expressing how I felt about this particular topic. I just wanted to point out a problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm not trying to say that bbw's shouldn't feel upset about the shame they are faced with. No matter how big or small this situation is it does happen.

 

This is the way I should have worded this question and this what I meant.

 

The question is do you think it is acceptable for people to be put down for their size because they are modern societies standard for beauty?

 

Please do not make this about spinner verses bbw. Please feel free to talk about bbw shaming but please don't make it about spinner verses bbw. Let's make this thread about how shamming has effected you, rather than making it about how how one person has it worse than the other.

[crankF 12893]

I understand what Peachy is trying to convey and that this is not about big vs. skinny. Having endured an overweight childhood, I am all to aware of how nasty bullies can be. Luckily for me it ended when almost overnight at age 14, I became 6'6" tall and developed into a decent athlete with considerable effort.

 

Well, all I really wanted to say is that obesity is one of the last things that seems politicaly acceptable to ridicule. Whereas if someone is being skinny shamed, the shamer usually at least couches it by pretending to be concerned with anorexia, if the shamee is obese, they are just a fat slob who can't control thier appetite.

 

Peachy, I'm not trying to contradict you, I'm a Peachy post fan!

[Guest]

I understand what Peachy is trying to convey and that this is not about big vs. skinny. Having endured an overweight childhood, I am all to aware of how nasty bullies can be. Luckily for me it ended when almost overnight at age 14, I became 6'6" tall and developed into a decent athlete with considerable effort.

 

Well, all I really wanted to say is that obesity is one of the last things that seems politicaly acceptable to ridicule. Whereas if someone is being skinny shamed, the shamer usually at least couches it by pretending to be concerned with anorexia, if the shamee is obese, they are just a fat slob who can't control thier appetite.

 

Peachy, I'm not trying to contradict you, I'm a Peachy post fan!

 

Thank you but can we play nice, big smile.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Peachy,

 

Although not as prevalent as bbw shaming, skinny shaming does occur as you have noted, and it was your intent to draw attention to the fact that it does occur. Both types of shaming can be equally as damaging (any comments that draw into question anyones uniqueness as somehow being a flaw can alter that persons perception of their self as being something less than perfect).

 

Unfortunately, I have been impacted by the ill effects of negative body image in the form of eating disorders in two seperate loved ones and participated closely in their recoveries, so I beleive I have some legitimate authority in this area.

 

As a man I have fortunately not been the subject of shaming of either type, but do to my significant intolerance for other peoples ignorance I have taken the opportunity to cut haters of either type down a few pegs when necessary. (Not that I am proud of it but I have once in the past took someone down a peg physically when I didn't even know the poor guy that was the subject of a public shaming, because of my experience I have a short fuse for this stuff).

 

The true amazing part of life is that we are all beautiful, unique individuals, distinctive and exceptional each in our own way. If all women (or men for that matter) were exactly the same, either big or small, realistically a large portion of the hobbiests here on Cerb and in the country in general would have no purpose in this "hobby". Many are here looking for that difference that exists from one woman to another, that "experience" of what makes each unique and wonderful.

 

The tendancy to just shoot down that fact that skinny shaming occurs and is horribly wrong because it doesn't happen as much as BBW shaming is very near sighted. Any type of intolerance and shaming is terrible.

 

In an image driven industry such as yours I would think that everyone would embrace uniqueness as their tool rather than just want to be "more of the same". Thanks for generating discussion and debate.

 

Chuck