Have clients and SPs ever fallen in love?

[MandalayBay 575]

I was inspired to ask this question after reading the heartwarming and beautiful thread about when SPs retire.

 

I'm curious if anyone is aware of any SPs and clients falling in love and eventually marrying or continuing a happy, healthy, long-term relationship?

 

This is a bizarre question, I know, but it is something I am curious about.

 

There are clients who have stolen my heart (if only for a brief second) and I sometimes have to take a step back and remember that this is a job. LOL

 

Any stories to tell?

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Have clients and SPs ever fallen in love?

Any stories to tell?

 

MandalayBay, you'll probably enjoy this thread from last year:

 

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4259

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

As I have stated in the other thread all of my regulars take a piece of my heart, but I have never crossed that line into "love" I care very much for them, some of them more then others. But I would not say I have ever fallen in "love" with them! Now I am not saying it is impossible, nor am I saying it will never happen to me, just know it has not happened yet!

[capitalman 3861]

Love is a decision.

 

Remember this, you'll understand it and accept it one day as the truth.

[YoungStud 468]

Love is a decision.

 

Remember this, you'll understand it and accept it one day as the truth.

 

Yep. And once you've decided, don't be too selfish or faint-hearted or stupid - and end up stepping back from what you've decided - without a good fight - with yourself.

[MandalayBay 575]

MandalayBay, you'll probably enjoy this thread from last year:

 

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4259

 

I very much did enjoy that thread ... thank you for sharing.

 

Looking forward to hearing more stories.

[Annessa 22743]

definitely not to toot my own horn but I have had 4 clients to this day tell me they have fallen in love with me

 

the result is usually tears on both ends and an end to a client relationship.

 

My job is to better the life of married men with their families (or non married men too)....not to become their new focus or obsession. As a teenager my father had multiple girlfriends aside from my mother and really should have hired escorts to get his release.....instead he had women he told he was "in love" with all over the world.....and who in turn fell in love with him and expected him to leave my mother etc.

 

being on the receiving end of the pain my mother went through I will say that any man who falls in love with a worker in the business needs to respect that we are good at our jobs for many reasons, That we appreciate some clients more than others but to not get lost in the "illusion" that we are here to provide. Those of us who accelerate at our jobs deem clients as trusted friends, it is up to the hobbiest to make sure that friendship is never misinterpreted or overstepped..... a true worker who sees the friendship getting out of hand or too emotional on your part will often end the relationship altogether for both your sakes (and sometimes for your family's)....just something to think about. Its a painful and uncomfortable situation no one should have to go through.

 

On the same note, even if someone is a single man and you have fallen, realize what you're laying on your favorite SP when you throw out the L word

[AttilaTheHun 356]

So true Annessa, I was that man that traveled the world and fell in love with women all over. Been there done that and was so unhappy doing it. My hobby has permitted me to fulfill my needs when I chose without having to the pressure of keeping up that relationship or if I chose not to. Don't get me wrong, the ladies I meet get the authentic me who gives 200% and I make love to them like its the last act I will performing on this earth. I am very close them, some more than others, but crossing that line of falling in love is a no no for both parties. I won't go the point to say that it may never happen to me, but as someone said here, Love is a choice you make. So if both parties decide that's what they want then I guess it can happen to the best of us.

 

Hun

 

 

 

 

definitely not to toot my own horn but I have had 4 clients to this day tell me they have fallen in love with me

 

the result is usually tears on both ends and an end to a client relationship.

 

My job is to better the life of married men with their families (or non married men too)....not to become their new focus or obsession. As a teenager my father had multiple girlfriends aside from my mother and really should have hired escorts to get his release.....instead he had women he told he was "in love" with all over the world.....and who in turn fell in love with him and expected him to leave my mother etc.

 

being on the receiving end of the pain my mother went through I will say that any man who falls in love with a worker in the business needs to respect that we are good at our jobs for many reasons, That we appreciate some clients more than others but to not get lost in the "illusion" that we are here to provide. Those of us who accelerate at our jobs deem clients as trusted friends, it is up to the hobbiest to make sure that friendship is never misinterpreted or overstepped..... a true worker who sees the friendship getting out of hand or too emotional on your part will often end the relationship altogether for both your sakes (and sometimes for your family's)....just something to think about. Its a painful and uncomfortable situation no one should have to go through.

 

On the same note, even if someone is a single man and you have fallen, realize what you're laying on your favorite SP when you throw out the L word

[capitalman 3861]

I'm not stupid, I know the rules. My problem is sometimes I can't contain my emotions. I'm an emotional and sensitive guy, I can't help it. I'm not stupid, I just have no foresight or sense of what I'm getting into. I'm like a kid that touches the hot pot...I do it again and again, never learning.

 

I end up saying things that are honest and sincere, but inappropriate. I know they are the wrong things to say. I know they're going to drive the girl away. I know I'm not supposed to say them. Even while they're coming out of my mouth I'm thinking "Uh oh, don't go there man!"

 

BUT it's very much like having an orgasm......once you reach that certain point of no return, it just comes out and I can't stop it! :)

 

To all the girls I've loved: I was sincere and please know that I meant it, but as I said, love is a decision and I have to decide not to love you after I leave. If you have to stop seeing me as a result, I understand...but at the time I just had to say it.

 

Obviously, I'm trying to learn how to bite my tongue....but it's tough.

[spud271 47779]

As I mentioned in the previous thread on this subject matter, I dated an SP for 2 years. I was her client first, but we both realized there was a mutual attraction and just couldn't resist falling in love with each other. It happens, you just have to make sure you don't confuse lust with love.

[lz_zofo4 693]

A couple of years back, I frequented a very nice young SP. I really enjoyed our time together and we really "liked" each other ... strictly at a professional level. Then on one visit, she indicated to me that she was getting out of the business ... I was shaken by this news, since I really liked our visits and her. Being a married man with a couple of children, I almost crossed the line of carrying on a relationship with her after she retired, moving from a professional relationship to a personal one. I didn't for several reasons, one of which was I didn't want to get her involved in something that I couldn't or wouldn't commit to. In addition, she was 17 years younger than myself and I thought long term, that it would be better for her to not get involved with someone of my age and the all my "baggage". If the situation arose where I had to choose my family or her, I would have stayed with my family ... I didn't want to do this to her. She did contact me several times, but I had resist the tempation to continue with seeing each other. :sad: I really did like this lady, but couldn't take the relationship to the next level. I still miss her today, but I believe the decision I made was the best for both of us in the end.

[MandalayBay 575]

If a client declared his love for me, I wouldn't immediately terminate the client relationship. I would just have a heart-to-heart conversation with him to clarify things and make sure he understands that my heart is with the gentleman I am in an emotionally-committed relationship with.

 

There are, however, a couple clients that I would date and could easily fall in love with if he and I had met under different circumstances. Sometimes my heart skips a beat before seeing certain clients because the pleasure is truly mine.

[esoterica 624]

Sometimes my heart skips a beat before seeing certain clients because the pleasure is truly mine.

 

I definitely feel that way about certain SPs. I think with the level of tenderness that can happen, those emotions get triggered.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I believe Cat said it best:

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●--

 

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all.

 

Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart?

 

In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived.

 

I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love?

 

I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine.

 

I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love.

 

People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on.

 

I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are.

 

Catherine

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Eventhough I have to stay professionnal, I think a connection is made with certain ''friends''.

 

Like everybody, it clicks more with some hobbiests than others... A nice friendship can follow, but I have to stat focus on the reason I'm there...

 

For the clien who fall in love with me, I start acting very cold... It happens lately that a regular told me he was giving me is phone bill money, eventhough he knew I had a BF... Do I really need to know that? It has been a terrible session, and I've blacklisted his phone number...

 

We all have to keep in mind that it is a hobby... We have our lives, and you are maybe a whisper in my life, but I want to leave you the impression of being the best moment in your life (the session), notthe worst (the separation)...

[MandalayBay 575]

I believe Cat said it best:

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●--

 

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all.

 

Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart?

 

In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived.

 

I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love?

 

I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine.

 

I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love.

 

People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on.

 

I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are.

 

Catherine

 

Cat is a phenominal writer and seems like a truly amazing person. If I were a hobbiest, I would hire her if only to meet the beautiful soul she seems to be.

 

I hope one day Cat writes a book about her insight into life as I would be first in line to buy a copy for everyone I love.

[AttilaTheHun 356]

Emma Thank you for re posting this thread. I think Cat is an incredible insightful woman who is definitely in touch with what is important in life. To express authentic feelings is the most important gift one can possess. I would like to meet her one day.

 

Hun

 

 

I believe Cat said it best:

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●--

 

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all.

 

Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart?

 

In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived.

 

I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love?

 

I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine.

 

I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love.

 

People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on.

 

I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are.

 

Catherine

[reallywhiteguy 100]

I read this thread and it REALLY has made me think very seriously about so many things. I once thought I was falling in love with an SP....many years ago. Fortunately I kept my mouth shut and she retired shortly thereafter so we parted on good terms, which might not have happend if I had opened my mouth. I think it has to be recognized how surreal the client/sp relationship is. You are almost always meeting in a very romantic atmosphere. Time has been set aside for each other exclusively. You don't have real world problems such as the kids goiing crazy, the dog eating your shoe etc. It is also very likely that the sp has a sexual ability that your significant other may not be able to match. It is an escape and must be viewed as such. I remembere standing on the 10th floor balcony of a rented penhouse in Toronto with one of the most beautiful sp's I have every met and thinking...does it get any better than this? Would that relationship be as wonderful if you had to conduct it in the "real" world?

[Andee 220524]

I have had a few clients tell me they "love me", but as I have pointed out to them, if we were ever take up in a day-to-day domestic relationship, with me, they would quickly realize it wasn't really love.

 

I mean how well can you get to know someone in the bedroom? In these two cases, sure we had spent many dates together and talked, but really, they did not "know me". As much as was flattered, I did not have the same feelings towards them so did not even entertain pursuing something.

 

As for when I retire, I would be nice to find someone to settle down with. I am not holding my breath that it will be a client I meet and fall in love with though...the odds of that happening are way too low. But I would need to meet someone who is open-minded enough to accept my past.

[Annessa 22743]

If a client declared his love for me, I wouldn't immediately terminate the client relationship.

 

I want to be clear that I said "usually *leads* to a termination in the client relationship"

 

meaning not terminated right away but once that heart to heart is had and you realize that nothing will get better and things are uncomfortable...then yes.

[capitalman 3861]

Us guys need to keep a cap on things (no pun intended there...my name). I mean, that feeling of being "special" is a dangerous thing to feel.

[MandalayBay 575]

Us guys need to keep a cap on things (no pun intended there...my name). I mean, that feeling of being "special" is a dangerous thing to feel.

 

It is only dangerous to feel when the SP is pretending you are special. When you really are considered special, there is nothing dangerous about it.

[jerican 657]

I could not agree with this more, I am being selective when I visit an SP and I visit for different reasons at times. I value the intimacy aspects as much as the sexual aspects and I try to establish a connection when I meet someone.

 

I am also incredibly logical and extremely left brained (to my detriment sometimes) and have never fooled myself into thinking I am in love with an SP or lover. I have loved many things about many people and I have been in love, but I would personally terminate a relationship with an SP if I felt that deeper feeling developing.

 

I want to enjoy the time together and care about the person, but not enter the dangerous territory of being in love. If the SP takes the time to try to make you feel special (see my review of Miss Cloe) it just adds so much to the experience and can only be the good thing. If it is faked and you are simply getting lip service, well it just won't be...special.

 

It is only dangerous to feel when the SP is pretending you are special. When you really are considered special, there is nothing dangerous about it.

[MandalayBay 575]

I want to enjoy the time together and care about the person, but not enter the dangerous territory of being in love. If the SP takes the time to try to make you feel special (see my review of Miss Cloe) it just adds so much to the experience and can only be the good thing. If it is faked and you are simply getting lip service, well it just won't be...special.

 

I think a man knows in his heart if an SP is just giving lip service ... or if she is genuine in the words she speaks.

[PistolPete 61421]

After seeing an SP for a long period of time...I let the L word out while leaving...I actually slapped my face..and asked myself why the fuck did you say that for! I emailed her back and apologized, she said in return "I love you too but not that way".

 

So it was a reality check that was needed for me and she was very classy and up front stating how she really felt.

 

We took a break from 1 and other, and I realized that it was infactuation on my part, but when 2 people really hit it off....it can really move your inner gut feelings on how you feel about that special lady.

 

As Cap said above it can be dangerous, but it can happen for sure.