Questions from a new sp - Any advice appreciated.

[zxc456 100]

Hi there. I have spent the last few weeks compiling information about escorting (as a sp). I have read websites about it from the US, Canada, and the UK. I literally have read and re-read entire blogs written by escorts for escorts.

 

And I still have questions =/

 

Deciding to become an escort is a very big decision, and I know it shouldn't be taken lightly. I find it is difficult to find current information / answers to questions, and there is a lot of vague answers and misinformation.

 

Canadian laws are very different from the USA when it comes to escorting...and I want to make sure I have ALL of the information before making a decision.

 

If anyone would be able to answer some of my questions either by posting or PMing me, that would be great and very valued. I have been lurking these forums for afew days now, as well as afew other forums....and, I figured I should just go ahead and ASK the questions I have instead of looking at threads that are 8 years old.

Q's about INCALLS:

 

Should one ONLY do Incalls at a hotel if they have reviews / some regulars? I understand it is hard to get clients to visit you if you have 0 reviews because you are new.

 

Is working out of a hotel worth the risk of being caught, exposed by a potential angry client or by a rival sp in the area, etc?

 

If you want to work in a hotel - can you give a FAKE NAME to book the hotel? How is a client supposed to come and see you without your identity being exposed?

 

Q's about OUTCALLS:

What if you go to a clients HOME and his WIFE / girlfriend / children come home?

What if you are in a session and you find out there are other people in the house?

 

How do you try and screen clients to only find SERIOUS ones that will not send you away once you arrive at their home? (either a prank call, change of mind, nervousness, etc)

 

How do you ensure you are not being VIDEO TAPED by a client in his home or hotel?

 

Are most requests for an SP to do an outcall at a HOTEL?

 

Q's about travel:

 

If an SP only uses TAXIS to get around town -is that economically realistic if they only do outcalls? (pretend you are going to do a hh for 120$ and the cab ride there and back is 40$ - then you have only made 80$ for your time.

 

Q's about canada/ ON laws:

 

Once you are at a clients hotel or home in PRIVATE - Can you, or can you not discuss sexual acts? Is it best to just NEVER talk about money? (I am asking this because people confuse Can. laws with the USA. and no one seems to know what is LEGAL).

 

Even though we are in CANADA is it best to call money a "donation" and market yourself as selling TIME and COMPANIONSHIP - or is this mostly a USA phenomena?

 

Electronic dialogue before meeting sp / client:

 

If I was an SP, I would NOT want to use the phone. I would prefer to use EMAIL or google voice from the computer - is this a wise decision?

 

Is it LEGAL to discuss the 'donation' and explicit sex acts provided in email or not? This topic is vague and I don't know what to believe. If it is legal why does everyone use ACRONYMS to describe sexual acts?

 

Okay...I'll leave this questions here...as I don't want to ask 101 of them.

 

Also; I find in my city the escorts are....questionable. On drugs, missing teeth, look jaded and washed out, fake or old photos etc. There does not seem to be many people offering QUALITY and SAFE services.

 

I am young (under 25) / very petite and thin. I don't do drugs / I rarely drink / I don't smoke / I have no habits to support. I am educated, intelligent, and if I went through with this decision - I would only want to offer SAFE services, EVER.

 

I know a lot about the misconceptions and myths about this industry - but I am unsure if I could market my "clean" ways in such an industry that is rampant with competition to do "unsafe" acts for cheap prices.

 

Anyways, sorry for rambling and making this a TL;DR post.

 

Thanks for any assistance.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

Hi there. I have spent the last few weeks compiling information about escorting (as a sp). I have read websites about it from the US, Canada, and the UK. I literally have read and re-read entire blogs written by escorts for escorts.

 

And I still have questions =/

 

I understand that you're feeling impatient and want answers to your questions, as well as some tips and strategies about how to do things. Every question you've asked about the law is answered, several times, in the Legal discussion and most are referred to extensively in other areas, as well. For the most part, the best information comes from established, long-time members of the board so pay particular attention to their posts.

 

When it comes to things like strategies for working outcalls, transportation, etc., those are important considerations and most are also discussed on the boards, here. Frankly, the best way for you to learn how to deal with these things would be to start with a good agency. Since you've not said where you are, it will be difficult for anyone here to make a recommendation in your area.

 

Also; I find in my city the escorts are....questionable. On drugs, missing teeth, look jaded and washed out, fake or old photos etc. There does not seem to be many people offering QUALITY and SAFE services.

 

Please don't take offense at what I'm going to say, but this part of your post is likely to be considered deeply insulting, not only to many of the ladies here, but also to many of the gentlemen as well. One critical thing that you need to understand is that the best so-called "high end" paid companions defend and are protective of women who work outdoors and those who have health problems and addictions. You won't find much tolerance on this board for denigrating any SP, anywhere, because of her looks or personal habits. We do discuss safer sex all the time and while we generally advise prospective clients to seek companionship from a reputable independent or a good agency, we don't put down women who, for many serious and difficult reasons, face so many challenges that they must work in compromising conditions.

 

Your assumption that many companions offer poor quality and/or unsafe encounters is troubling. I don't know which sex workers' blogs you have been reading, or where you get your information, but as someone who has worked as an independent for many years, both in Toronto and in Vancouver, what you describe is not my experience, anywhere.

 

I am young (under 25) / very petite and thin. I don't do drugs / I rarely drink / I don't smoke / I have no habits to support. I am educated, intelligent, and if I went through with this decision - I would only want to offer SAFE services, EVER.

 

No one should have to engage in activities she deems to be unsafe. Ever.

 

I have to say, though, that I think your problems will have to do with not knowing how to screen potential clients and not knowing how to manage the volume of requests you would receive as a "new girl." These are also reasons to begin to work with a good agency. Starting out as an independent is tempting, but it's frequently a very bad idea. Yes, you'll make less per call with an agency. But you'll also have lower expenses and you'll be working with people who do know what they're doing and how the industry works. You need that knowledge and expertise behind you and, frankly, you don't have it yet. Without it, you will inevitably get into trouble.

 

I know a lot about the misconceptions and myths about this industry - but I am unsure if I could market my "clean" ways in such an industry that is rampant with competition to do "unsafe" acts for cheap prices.

 

Are you aware that this statement verges on hostility? If you truly believe these things, I have to say that you don't really understand what the misconceptions and myths about the sex trade are.

 

Speaking for myself, I have been a paid companion for over a decade. I have never engaged in any activity that I felt was unsafe--assuming, that is, that you're referring to things that increase one's potential for exposure to STIs.

 

I'm also old enough to be your mother. I have never considered myself to be in competition with anyone. I work hard and I make a good living. I attribute my success to accepting the realities of this profession, to identifying my particular market niche and serving it very well, and to gaining the respect of my colleagues.

 

That last thing--the respect of colleagues--is essential. If you do decide to work as a paid companion, no one, no matter how well-meaning or close to you, will understand what your life is really like. You will need the support and care of other companions so that you can stay safe, make good decisions and get support when things go wrong. No one ever avoids having things go wrong, regardless of what they may say. But there are ways to avoid some problems that you may not even imagine exist and there are ways to manage the things that you can't avoid. In general, we don't discuss these things in public forums. You will need to gain others' support in order to have access to this information.

 

If you're just investigating this as an option, I would recommend that you find something else or some other way to take care of your problems. The sex trade is not the right thing for most women. If you're seriously considering becoming a paid companion, my advice is to step back, take some calming breaths and clear your mind. Only a minute percentage of women enter the sex trade because it's their ideal, intended career path. Nearly everyone has had some significant problem in her life and suddenly needs to earn a lot of money fairly quickly. In other words, most don't start out in the best frame of heart and mind. You can still do it, but you need to be careful, you need to be thoughtful and you need to learn to listen. An arrogant attitude will be a liability. Over-confidence is a mask for fear that prevents addressing the things that cause fear to begin with.

[Andee 220524]

There's usually a two stage procedure for you to direct the client to your hotel room.

1. Tell them to contact you by email or text the day before/day of your appointment. You then let them know which hotel you are staying at.

2. Instruct your client to call/text 5 minutes before the appointment and you'll provide your room number.

This ensures that clients don't show up early or bump into each other coming/going.

 

 

To Cyclo:

 

I really hate to hijack on this thread, but I would caution the OP or any lady to heed to your advice. Although I am sure well meaning, some or actually a lot of what you are saying can be challenged.

 

For example, I would beg to differ that the SP should NOT reveal the name of her hotel the day before, but general area of the city she is staying in, eg downtown hotel east west of the Canal. Even saying Lyon Street would be a dead give-away.

 

I would also encourage the SP to have a working cell which if not published on her website or ad, she can give out to the client via email and if she isn't comfortable giving it out until she has a feel for him, insist on his number and a specific time she can call him or he can call her to speak to him in person, so she has a voice to go with the email.

 

Then I would suggest she get him to call her back on that cell when he is at the hotel, then she can give him the room number.

 

To communicate solely by email or even text (which sometime fail) without a call-back number between the two parties is a recipe for disaster and not part of a good safety screening procedure.

 

There are many different screening methods, and I personally do not book/confirm any appointments until I have spoken to the gentleman at least 1 hour prior to the appointment and I never give out my exact location until the client confirms he is in the area. But that's me.

 

Also, there is no need to call the money "a donation" because sex for money is not illegal in Canada and this is a business transaction and there should be no shame in discussing the business part at the beginning of the session. This is how discrepancies arise when the parties refuse to discuss the fee and sometimes the envelope ends up being short. There are ways to handle things with tact that don't have to come off as cold.

 

And the telephone is not a public place, so unless you are standing outside beside a crowd of people discussing your business, you are afforded the right to privacy and can speak freely.

 

By the way, in the "old days" we most did outcalls to residences and I rarely had problems with people hiding in the closet or others home. The only reason why most ladies don't do outcalls to residences now days is a lot of people don't have landlines and it's virtually impossible to verify/confirm someone to their address if all they have is a cell phone. At least that's why I don't do as many. Oh, and I don't head out after midnight or accept invitations from impaired people or go to sketchy neighbourhoods.

 

To the OP:

 

Anyways, I think I've said enough to make my point, that when asking advice, you need to be careful who you ask and what they tell you. Don't believe everything you hear or read. Even after more than 15 years in this industry, I am still learning.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Wow!! That is a lot of questions! But Yes, there are many things to learn. Some of which that can only be answered for yourself through experience:)

 

Take your time to learn these things. Many things are depending on your location( small town vs big city) etc. Pay attention to legal section, new to this and other ads.

 

Like in any business, know what your market needs, and how it is best to approach it!

 

You should really consider stepping back and taking more time to research this side of life. It can be overwhelming and takes a certain amount of strength to succeed! If you are not comfortable, then as mentioned, seek a reputable agency to get you started.

 

Good luck to you and stay safe:)

[IsaMassage 54318]

In my personal opinion, i think there is nothing like gaining the experience.., since you seem to be very new in the business scene.., and have so many questions and concerns...perhaps you should either look into joining a reputable agency in your area or perhaps try to have an experienced sp to mentor you..., so you can learn about all the legal, and any other aspects..., and make sure that this is the right chice for you :-) Good luck!

[cyclo 30131]

Hi Angela. I agree with everything you said in response to my post. Obviously I didn't express myself very well. I wasn't trying to provide advice on screening clients and all of the communication required before meeting. I defer to any advice sp's such as yourself have on this. I was just responding to the question about how does a client find the room without the sp revealing her identity.

 

I also agree that prostitution is legal in Canada, that there is no need to use the term "donation" and that the communication you've described is legal and is not solicitation. I appreciate the opportunity to clarify any misinformation which my post may have appeared to contain.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Hi there. I have spent the last few weeks compiling information about escorting (as a sp). I have read websites about it from the US, Canada, and the UK. I literally have read and re-read entire blogs written by escorts for escorts.

 

And I still have questions =/

 

Deciding to become an escort is a very big decision, and I know it shouldn't be taken lightly. I find it is difficult to find current information / answers to questions, and there is a lot of vague answers and misinformation.

 

Canadian laws are very different from the USA when it comes to escorting...and I want to make sure I have ALL of the information before making a decision.

 

If anyone would be able to answer some of my questions either by posting or PMing me, that would be great and very valued. I have been lurking these forums for afew days now, as well as afew other forums....and, I figured I should just go ahead and ASK the questions I have instead of looking at threads that are 8 years old.

Q's about INCALLS:

 

Should one ONLY do Incalls at a hotel if they have reviews / some regulars? I understand it is hard to get clients to visit you if you have 0 reviews because you are new.

 

Anyone can do incalls at a hotel. It's not hard to get guys to visit you when you're new--I was working for about two months before I even got my first review.

 

Is working out of a hotel worth the risk of being caught, exposed by a potential angry client or by a rival sp in the area, etc?

 

If you want to work in a hotel - can you give a FAKE NAME to book the hotel? How is a client supposed to come and see you without your identity being exposed?

 

I don't think you can give a fake name--I've never done so. When I have worked out of hotels, I have the client call me from the lobby before I give him the room number.

 

Q's about OUTCALLS:

What if you go to a clients HOME and his WIFE / girlfriend / children come home?

 

You leave as quickly as possible? I've never heard of this happening. Since many clients ARE married, I would assume they take precautions against this happening.

What if you are in a session and you find out there are other people in the house?

 

If there are others present and you were not informed that they would be there, you are well within your rights to leave the appointment.

 

How do you try and screen clients to only find SERIOUS ones that will not send you away once you arrive at their home? (either a prank call, change of mind, nervousness, etc)

 

Guys who are serious will take the time to be vouched by you, via whatever screening process you decide to put in place--be it an email questionnaire, a phone call etc.

 

How do you ensure you are not being VIDEO TAPED by a client in his home or hotel?

 

Keep an eye out for open laptops, or large bags that may potentially be hiding a camera. If the bag is in the room, casually toss a towel over it.

 

Are most requests for an SP to do an outcall at a HOTEL?

 

This depends on you really. I know a number of escorts will ONLY do outcalls to reputable hotels.

 

Q's about travel:

 

If an SP only uses TAXIS to get around town -is that economically realistic if they only do outcalls? (pretend you are going to do a hh for 120$ and the cab ride there and back is 40$ - then you have only made 80$ for your time.

 

Charge a travel fee to cover this. So let's say your fee for a half an hour is $120, you can charge a $40 travel fee so that you still get a full $120 for your time. Or, you can specify that you only do outcalls for at a 1 hour minimum.

 

Q's about canada/ ON laws:

 

Once you are at a clients hotel or home in PRIVATE - Can you, or can you not discuss sexual acts? Is it best to just NEVER talk about money? (I am asking this because people confuse Can. laws with the USA. and no one seems to know what is LEGAL).

 

In private, you can talk about whatever you want--boundaries, services and money. The only time you CANNOT discuss money/services is in public, with public defined as any place reasonably accessible by the general public.

 

Even though we are in CANADA is it best to call money a "donation" and market yourself as selling TIME and COMPANIONSHIP - or is this mostly a USA phenomena?

 

This is mostly a US phenomenon. I've seen escorts refer to it as the donation, tribute, consideration, rates, fees, etc. It is not illegal to exchange sexual services for money in Canada.

 

Electronic dialogue before meeting sp / client:

 

If I was an SP, I would NOT want to use the phone. I would prefer to use EMAIL or google voice from the computer - is this a wise decision?

 

One of the perks of escorting is that you're your own boss. If you only want to communicate via email, that's your choice!

 

Is it LEGAL to discuss the 'donation' and explicit sex acts provided in email or not? This topic is vague and I don't know what to believe. If it is legal why does everyone use ACRONYMS to describe sexual acts?

 

You can discuss whatever you want in an email.

 

Also; I find in my city the escorts are....questionable. On drugs, missing teeth, look jaded and washed out, fake or old photos etc. There does not seem to be many people offering QUALITY and SAFE services.

 

I am young (under 25) / very petite and thin. I don't do drugs / I rarely drink / I don't smoke / I have no habits to support. I am educated, intelligent, and if I went through with this decision - I would only want to offer SAFE services, EVER.

 

I know a lot about the misconceptions and myths about this industry - but I am unsure if I could market my "clean" ways in such an industry that is rampant with competition to do "unsafe" acts for cheap prices.

 

Samantha already covered this bit more eloquently than I could, but the way you've written this last paragraph implies that you think that the rest of the escort world does not offer "safe" services or that we aren't "clean." There is a huge market for what is termed "safe GFE" services. In fact, there is a market for just about everything. You offer whatever you're comfortable offering and find clients who are looking for the same. But to imply that we aren't "clean" is quite offensive, particularly since sex workers are safer sex professionals. Our bodies are our livelihoods--there's no health insurance or sick leave--if we get sick we can't work. So we make sure to take all precautions we can to keep ourselves safe and healthy.

 

Anyways, sorry for rambling and making this a TL;DR post.

 

Thanks for any assistance.

 

 

Quite frankly, I'd keep reading--I don't think you know as much as you think you do about the sex industry. I don't mean that as an insult--we all had to start somewhere.

 

best,

Berlin

[Andee 220524]

Hi Angela. I agree with everything you said in response to my post. Obviously I didn't express myself very well. I wasn't trying to provide advice on screening clients and all of the communication required before meeting. I defer to any advice sp's such as yourself have on this. I was just responding to the question about how does a client find the room without the sp revealing her identity.

 

I also agree that prostitution is legal in Canada, that there is no need to use the term "donation" and that the communication you've described is legal and is not solicitation. I appreciate the opportunity to clarify any misinformation which my post may have appeared to contain.

 

If you don't know the name of the person in the room, the front desk won't tell you. And if you're staying at one of the hotels like the Holiday Inn Express who program your name into the call display from the hotel, don't use the phone in the room to call out.

[zxc456 100]

Thank you to all for the responses and assistance.

 

I just wanted to add, at the 2-3 people that addressed my comment about safe/quality services and providers in my area:

 

I meant no disrespect to anyone or their ability to provide services,I had used the word clean in the context of being naive or more conservative (ie. always using a condom in every way available).

 

I am not willing to just throw myself out there and offer Bjs with no protection just because clients would prefer it that way because it "feels better". Hence my thinking it is more "conservative".

 

I wouldn't want to offer something like a PSE that many (younger) clients would be looking for.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I am not willing to just throw myself out there and offer Bjs with no protection just because clients would prefer it that way because it "feels better". Hence my thinking it is more "conservative".

 

I wouldn't want to offer something like a PSE that many (younger) clients would be looking for.

 

I've heard from many women who were considering entering the sex trade but none of them has ever started the conversation by focusing on the kind of blowjob she thinks she might be expected to offer. Many men, however, do start with sexual activities when they ask about our profession.

 

Even women who have had many boyfriends or casual sex partners generally find the notion of entering the sex trade to be daunting. They usually have many questions about what it means to be a prostitute; how they will feel engaging with many clients in a day or week; how other people in their lives would react to knowing what they're doing and how they plan to deal with that. Physical health and safety are important and the relief that comes from being able to address a serious financial problem is enormous, but there are emotional and psychological considerations involved, as well. For example, most of us find this to be a very lonely, isolating profession. How good are your relationships with friends and family right now? When have clear and constructive boundaries been a challenge for you? What did you learn? Where are your points of greatest vulnerability when it comes to engaging with other people? What are your coping mechanisms when you're under stress? How might your stress-management techniques be compromised or enhanced by working as a paid companion? What have your relationships with men, including boyfriends, lovers, teachers, employers, siblings, your father and grandfather been like? How have you managed pressure you've felt from men about important things like school work, employment, or their expectations of you because of your gender? You say that you're a small, slender woman. How have you handled men who are much larger and stronger than you are and who are, or have the potential to be, physically threatening? When a man is angry because he wants something from you, how do you respond--that is, how do you feel, deep inside, what do you do and how do you work through things later? When in your life have you found it difficult to say no to someone? What happened and why? When have you found it difficult to say yes, when you really wanted to? What happened then? Generally speaking, in your life do you tend to be obedient when someone tells you to do something? How important is it to you to please other people? If someone tells you to do something that you don't want to do, how do you feel? How likely are you to give in rather than take control of the situation constructively?

 

Whether a covered bj is conservative or enlightened is a matter of debate. In our industry, every woman needs to decide for herself what she is and is not willing to offer when she entertains. There are plenty of women at every price point who are making a living, providing safe GFE including condoms for oral. There are also a lot of women who offer uncovered oral, but use condoms for everything else. You need to decide what your own risk tolerance is, how you will attend to your health care needs and how you will respond to pressure from clients who want to engage in activities that you may not have tried before, or may not want to participate in.

 

What kind of oral you offer--if any--is only one consideration. So is anal sex. Digits is another. What about fetishes? Which ones might you be comfortable with and which ones will you not consider? What about duos? Who would you approach to be a duo partner? What level of involvement are you comfortable with when another woman is involved? What about couples? Or two men? Or more than two men? Stag parties? Poker nights? Toy shows? What about male duo partners? Suppose a prospective client invites you to travel with him--would you consider it? How will you maintain your safety and limits when you're not in a situation that you control, potentially far away from home and dependent on a virtual stranger?

 

How do you imagine working? Will you do half hour meetings? What about quarter-hour quickies? Do you prefer to accept only two-hour engagements or longer? What is your preferred age range? If you think that the majority of your clients are likely to be guys in their early 20s, think again! Are you comfortable with older men? How old? Consider, for example, men in their 50s, 60s and 70s. How comfortable are you with men who may remind you, in some ways, of your father or grandfather? This is actually a very important consideration, particularly if, as I suspect, you plan to be setting your rates near the upper end of the range in your part of the country. Who do you think can afford to pay your fees? Are there enough of them where you're living and working to provide enough of the sort of work you imagine doing? How do you know?

 

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things a new SP needs to think about. Very little of it is about blowjobs.

[fortunateone 156618]

I haven't read thru everything, but what isn't clear, is your location. A LOT of issues about incalls versus outcalls versus hotels or private residences for both incall and outcall depend on location. Sps in Vancouver don't typically provide incall in a hotel. Sps in Edmonton are easily available in massage parlours for full service. Sps in Montreal may expect the client to rent a hotel room, even if he has a private residence, specifically for their encounter. Sps in Vancouver will typically charge a fee to provide an outcall session, with a minimum of one hour, with the expectation the client will cover her travel cost/time. Sps in Toronto may not, because the expectation is that in Toronto incalls are not normally provided by any sps.

 

Agencies are very reputable in Toronto, but not so many with even an OK rep in Vancouver. So working out of an agency depends on your location, as to how good an employer they will be for you, and their interest in helping to keep you safe.

 

I am making general comments here, based on nothing in particular, but the fact is location can make a difference even to the letter of the laws. Some cities require escort licensing to work without LE interference, others do not. Some cities are reference friendly, meaning the clients assume and are ready to provide references to any sps, as screening. In other cities, this is not normally done, and so an sp who does require it may get some very puzzled responses.

 

Same thing goes with services. In some areas, some rates/services are considered 'the norm'. In others, higher rates, and more restrictions are expected. There isn't a rule that you have to provide bbbj. The general rule is that you are up front about the services, the rates, and that you remain consistent and honest in advertising.

 

 

 

I see a lot of younger clients, and they are neither more nor less interested in a PSE style or a bbbj service than older guys. I see many of this type of guy for non full service, like massage and hj, so again, there isn't any hard and fast rule about what guys want. You won't know what guys want until you post an ad and start hearing from them about what they are looking for. Expect a lot of nuisance calls and emails.

 

If you want to screen by email, fine, but it can't replace a phone call screening. For one thing, a woman pretending to be a guy can't disguise that on the phone. A teenager pretending to be an adult, can't disguise that on the phone either. A lot of new sps get fooled by fake bookings. If you plan to be alone and naked with a guy, don't rule out the phone as well to check their gender, age and sobriety. You can't google an email address to see what comes up, but you can google a phone #. You'd be surprised how often a really bad date guy uses the same phone # to book appts with sps. Without a phone #, you can easily find yourself making a trip for a fake booking, or getting ripped off, or scammed in many other different ways. If taxis are your only way of getting to an outcall appt, you will probably be better off working out of an incall. or hooking up with an agency.

[Guest S****r]

I think you just dug your hole a little deeper. The ladies who so tactfully addressed your comment were also referring to that,

[drlove 37204]

I see the OP has been suspended.

[Secret-Silhouettes 3385]

Thanks for that useful information It proved To Be Very Informative.