gloryhole 635 Report post Posted February 26, 2013 So I have been registered with Cerb for a couple years . I have not had a single encounter. I have asked for recommends but decided those choices are not what I want! This will sound sappy and sad but I feel the need to anonymously express my situation. I was very much in love with my wife, met 10 yrs. ago. 3 yrs ago she got really sick which lead to her passing at 28yrs old, for the last 3 yrs I have not been in an intimate situation with a woman( seems if they don't remind Me of her I lose interest). I am now a single father of 3 at 32 yrs old. My dilemma now is I wake up in the middle of the night in sweats with a freight train running through my mind, desire her touch I'm passionately on fire sometimes it's like someone to a knife and cut through the belly of my soul. And the desire of her touch or touch in general is more than I can bare. Feel hopelessly stranded in a daily rut and routine , with my oldest child having major health issues even a sitter is so hard to come by. Without further ado I found an SP who uncannily looks like her Lola Cherie, with myself never having voyuered what advice can I get? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sno****54 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Just go ahead my friend. No regrets. I can uderstand your point. A sex bombshell woman as Lola Cherie is exactly the medecin that my phisycian prescribed me to cure my insomnia. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Hey there sweetie. I love that you are still devoted to your wife and understand the pain you feel. I am not out where you are, but wanted to drop a line. Sometimes, it is easier to start new with someone different then someone similar then the love of your life. You have felt some deep losses and it is always hard to move on. Just take it one day at a time, grieve your losses, love the gift she gave you (your child) and understand it is ok to feel like why..... One day you will be ready. In the meantime, give yourself some time to heal and grow. It does not always make sense, but eventually you will meet someone you can share a new intimacy. Love and blessings. Meaghan xoxo 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gloryhole 635 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Thank you Meaghan very kind odd that I open up here where no one knows me, relieving to have said it and people who do not know me reached out. I still wear the ring and never got to say goodbye, I missed her last hour. I still have her picture in a frame, and I swear I hear her footsteps down the hall and her voice driving me insane. A big part of me wants to relive a moment, have one back if even only an hour ........say goodbye and get a reply. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Mourning is a difficult thing to go through. Everyone is different and there's no one "right" way to do it. But if it's been more than a year since your wife died, you might consider joining a group for people who have lost a partner. These are often fantastic! You can find out about them by contacting a funeral home, and I'd suggest you do that rather than go through the standard therapist route, at least at first. In many places, they try to bring together people who are close in age, or people who have children so that there's common ground for participants. it really can help a lot to hear how other people are dealing with situations similar to your own. Finding a companion or two can also be a good thing because you don't have to get into a full-blown relationship before you're ready for one (and you're not ready right now). You can have contact, intimacy and a private, one-on-one encounter without repercussions. If you want to see a companion more than once, go for it. If not, no worries. Attending to your physical needs can sometimes make it easier to work through emotional ones. Go easy on yourself! 14 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 I'm really sorry for your loss :( I echo Samantha's suggestion about finding a support group first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
farmboy 848 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 i am sorry for your loss...and you miss your wife dearly....however Lola is NOT your wife, and I am afraid that your hope is to make love to your wife , and although Lola may remind you of her in pictures, I think there is a good chance you may be totally dissapointed...my suggestion would be to see someone who does not remind you of your wife, and take it from there. Down the road , once you come to better grips with everyuthing, then to play out that fantasy may be ok, but at this point, I would advise against it, unless you go in knowing full well what may happen. Again , my most sincere condolensecs. 10 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 i am sorry for your loss...and you miss your wife dearly....however Lola is NOT your wife, and I am afraid that your hope is to make love to your wife , and although Lola may remind you of her in pictures, I think there is a good chance you may be totally dissapointed...my suggestion would be to see someone who does not remind you of your wife, and take it from there. Down the road , once you come to better grips with everyuthing, then to play out that fantasy may be ok, but at this point, I would advise against it, unless you go in knowing full well what may happen.Again , my most sincere condolensecs. I agree with these sentiments. I may suggest that you try something different, less intense. A massage with a happy ending with someone who does also provide full service, but this massage style session is usually the very best first step. You have to be prepared to want to back out, and full service sessions are a lot of pressure, physically and emotionally if you aren't prepared. I suspect that you are not going to be comfortable with someone on a first visit. The non full service session allows you to reach that comfort after a couple of visits, or you may never be ready, but you will have crossed a barrier in your body and mind thru this touch. I recommend choosing someone who does provide a more relaxed encounter, and who is able to work with you thru a series of encounters rather than a full on assault on a first visit. take care, and thanks for sharing. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitoba 2758 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Gloryhole I really don't think that you are ready for an intimate encounter right now. You will most likely come out of it with a pile of guilt thinking that you have been unfaithful to your wife. Join a support group or see a professional therapist for your grief issues. You will never get over your loss but someday you will be able to move on and to have encounters with some of the fine ladies here or with a regular girlfriend. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted February 27, 2013 Darlign gloryhole, I am truly sorry for your loss. I worked as a grief recovery facilitator for 13 years and I don't think you are ready for an intimate encounter at this point. I gently suggest you take a peek at The Grief Recovery Institute. They are leaders at helping people move thru loss and it's important that you address the situation head on. There are programs across the country and their handbook The Grief Recovery Handbook that you can pick up at any book store. Here is the website... http://www.grief.net/ I wish you all the best, please know there is a path forward... cat 15 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Winnipegcub 21293 Report post Posted February 28, 2013 So sorry for your loss and all my hope is with you and your children. I echo many of the comments made prior (damn CERB is filled with compassionate and smart people). In particular try and reconcile part way what it is you seek in seeing an SP or MP. You likely won't have it fully clear before you take the plunge but if you are anywhere close to put them in a 'replacement' role for your wife...I think you may be in for some difficulties. This doesn't need to take long or be overly difficult but you should try and answer this for yourself. You will likely find that you have a physical, intimacy and relationship bond that a provider can fill. But this is very different from a wife. Once you understand this and in the 'right place', I expect your encounters will be rewarding for you and the lady you see. Best of luck. Cub Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cinelli 22184 Report post Posted February 28, 2013 desire her touch....desire of her touch NO escort is going to be able to provide HER touch. You are still grieving and need counselling to accept the loss of your wife. You need to move on, for your child's sake as well as your own. I found an SP who uncannily looks like her Lola Cherie, with myself never having voyuered what advice can I get? Forget it. Forget her. Deal with your issues first. The fact that you sought out an SP who had an "uncanny" resemblance to your wife is remarkable. I'm very uncomfortable with this and am concerned more for the safety of the SP than anything else. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh start 17467 Report post Posted February 28, 2013 My deepest sympathies going out to. I cannot give you much advice about what you should do, but I can tell you this. Your situation you describe sound very familiar and the pain you go through I know it all to well. Although our situations may not be exactly the same I too understand your desire and need to be touched by the one you love and miss so much. This is something I feel too, but I've seen sp even ma, they give me back a little bit of light each time but it cannot replace them nor does it feel the same. Although for me it is enough to get through this hard times. I know everyone copes differently, I myself used to think the only way out was suicide. I do not know if this is something you deal with but I would like you to remember something you have a part of your wife left behind in your son, who needs a father. Give your son as much love as you can, he needs you! Growing up without a mother can be difficult, but to grow up without both parents would be far worse. Remember if you ever feel suicidal it is ok you're not alone in the world and I know how hard it can be to talk or tell someone about it but please trust me you will feel better. I myself still cannot talk openly to people I know and find it much easier to talk to strangers. I would be more than happy to talk if you ever need too. I may not be a therapist and give you much advice but I can listen and assure you no matter how hopeless and alone you may feel there is lots like us out there that feel the same. We just have to sake the chance and speak out, trust me its changed me a lot. I would also seek therapy they help a lot and they can guide you better and help you understand your feeling and emotion and eventually you will Learn how to cope easier. There is no shame in how you are feeling and what you think might help you. It my or may not feel the same only you can tell but remember she cannot replace your wife and I recommend only seeing her if you thing you can accept that. Just be prepared for either outcome it may feel the same it may not. My heart goes out to you what bit I have left. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gloryhole 635 Report post Posted February 28, 2013 Thank you all so very much. I have gone through grief counselling it has helped immensely. Your all very right and I to have considered all possibilities of seeing an SP. Guilt, shame, pleasure you know the drill. My hat comes off to all SPs what you ladies do is remarkable. Look what you tried to help me with selflessly. The limits you ladies go to bring joy, excitement, relief and comfort to individuals is at the very forefront of any relationship between all couples. Who knows what the future holds for me, I will satisfy my craving for intimacy, I will one day let my memory of her fade. Move on with my life. Due to your guidance and experience if I decide to see an sp she will look nothing like my wife. Who knows maybe one will find me wouldn't that be a spin! This has been very releaving thank you for allowing me to use this forum as a conduit and for all the advice it has come as a much needed form of letting go. So very sincerely, BF 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LolaCherie 1730 Report post Posted March 6, 2013 Hi, I just came across your post. I can not imagine how hard it must be. I lost a family member who I was very closed to, and I still feel like a part of me is missing and it will never be the same. It's sad, so sad. I admire your courage and your ability to ask for guidance and help! I assume that it was me you were referring to. I must say that as special as this can make me feel, I agree with those who said it was better to forget that idea. I don't feel like I could be able to help you in any way, and to me it seems like this situation can just make things harder for you. As its been said before I am not her, I am probably completely different, and I am afraid that there is nothing I could do or say that could comfort you... I do think that you should try and maybe go on a date, or even book time with an SP (I would be happy to recommend someone if I know them). It would ease you into the idea of moving on with your heart, because I am sure you wife is by your side and would be sad to see you aching and lonely. She will always hold a place in your heart and getting close to someone else is just about you, taking care of you. I really wish you the best! I thought it was important to write you and show my support... Love, Lola xox 8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livenudecats 4072 Report post Posted March 6, 2013 Hi, I have nothing to offer that has not been said already. While my ex-wife did not pass away she encountered her own demons that necessitated us having to separate and me becoming a full time single parent about 10 years ago. In those first few years I missed the "old her" very much and did go for therapy much like as if she had passed because in essense the woman I knew had died. I began to see SP's not as a mechanism to replace her with but soley out of a need for sexual satisfaction and for me at the time it was way easier and NSA than dating. If you desire her touch and want to rekindle what you 2 had, an SP is not going to do it for you. You'll be left feeling empty, broken hearted and a few hundred bucks poorer. If you, like me, just need to be with a woman once in a while without the demands or hassels of a relationship, then go for it. Oh and BTW, I know you don't know me from Adam but if you ever need to talk, even if it is just by PM, I'm here. Cheers 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gloryhole 635 Report post Posted March 7, 2013 I know very well that she cannot replace my wife, was never looking for her too! That is an impossibility. Since I joined cerb I have contemplated seeing an SP found a couple that really peaked my interest. Due to my reserved and shy nature I could never follow thru I couldn't even finish an email. I do not wish to date or meet someone I'm not there yet but this passionate desire I have for an intimate encounter is surreal. The advantage of an SP is there is no judgement, no mixed feelings and no attachments. The bonus of it being she is there for me! Cure my appetite I get to be selfish! Sorry ladies my intent is not to offend at all, please forgive my direct statements! So in being so awkward and uncomfortable with contacting any SP, when I saw Lola's Ad I felt excited, yet soothingly calm as if this was not new to me but normal. The fact that she resembles someone I love dearly is one extraordinary PLUS. I do feel that this maybe one incredible roller coaster of a ride( sort of speech). Taking into consideration what everyone on this board has said to me and everything I have considered I am still so drawn to the idea of an encounter with her. Lola thank you for you for reaching out, because this post was started about you. Being the man that I am I must set my desires aside and respect your advising me against seeing you. You are a woman of wonder, your sincerity is well received. I was never looking for you to be anything other than yourself it just so happened to be your resemblance to her that fed a desire for an intimate encounter. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ***rgi*****9 Report post Posted March 8, 2013 Gloryhole at this point in time I would think that the best way for you to start is to maybe visit one of our MP's. You can sit in your vehicle for as long as you need to actually garner the courage to go inside... Once inside you'll get a chance to choose someone and you can still walk away with no worries... Once you have chosen your lady you can go at your own pace. This may give you enough of being so close and yet so far, and then finally actually choosing and moving forward. Once you have managed to go through a session you may find yourself in a better position emotionally to choose a SP, possibly even Lola Cherie as you will be in a completely different spot in life and recovery. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goombata72 1556 Report post Posted March 8, 2013 So I have been registered with Cerb for a couple years . I have not had a single encounter. I have asked for recommends but decided those choices are not what I want! This will sound sappy and sad but I feel the need to anonymously express my situation. I was very much in love with my wife, met 10 yrs. ago. 3 yrs ago she got really sick which lead to her passing at 28yrs old, for the last 3 yrs I have not been in an intimate situation with a woman( seems if they don't remind Me of her I lose interest). I am now a single father of 3 at 32 yrs old. My dilemma now is I wake up in the middle of the night in sweats with a freight train running through my mind, desire her touch I'm passionately on fire sometimes it's like someone to a knife and cut through the belly of my soul. And the desire of her touch or touch in general is more than I can bare. Feel hopelessly stranded in a daily rut and routine , with my oldest child having major health issues even a sitter is so hard to come by. Without further ado I found an SP who uncannily looks like her Lola Cherie, with myself never having voyuered what advice can I get? I would say start slow and work at it until you feel you are ready to move forward. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gloryhole 635 Report post Posted April 26, 2013 Thank you all for your kind words I appreciate all of input. I never did make an appt. with Lola as she did ask me not too. Having her respond was very heart warming a true kind hearted woman hope you gents treat her well. I have made an appt. with Jennifer tonight I am very excited. I did take your advice and saw an MP a few times now. Ended up being very self rewarding she was kind, sensual and knew exactly how to re-direct when I was unsure. Though I crave a much more intimate encounter and reviews on jennifer and her dfk highlighted by so many passion may be mine. Sometimes I wish I had a close friend to confide all this in but it is an awkward conversation piece. I was amazed how many responded SPs included thank you all so very much. Meghan you are a diamond in the rough. If I ever have the oppurtunity to meet you I would spend an entire evening in your embrace. I am letting go and moving forward I will never forget but I am so ready! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted April 26, 2013 You have been on my mind lately, so I was thrilled to hear you are doing well. Have a great time tonight and enjoy yourself. Did you know that April birthday birthstones are in fact diamonds? Thank you for the compliment and enjoy. Our paths may pass one day! Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. xoxo Meaghan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gloryhole 635 Report post Posted May 18, 2014 Last week I setup a meet with Lola Cherie, she accepted my request to meet. I informed her fully who I was to my surprise she had agreed to meet. Now my nerves really kick in. Anxiety, fear excitement. As the door opened she greeted me with a gentle kiss arousing every sense in my body. She is stunning and captivating everything I hoped it may have been and so much more than I had ever expected. For almost 4 hours I had the most passionate sex of my life. The way she looked into my eyes and how her body responded to every slight motion I made. Her scent, her voice and her smile resonate in my mind and send shivers down my spine everytime I close my eyes. I fell hard mixed emotions and many fears all subsided when my lips were pressed on hers. Lola you are simply amazing, a rush of life in me a deep desire to see you again and again. Where did you come from? I am head over heels and I know many of you will say I'm silly but this feels real. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted May 18, 2014 Last week I setup a meet with Lola Cherie, she accepted my request to meet. I informed her fully who I was to my surprise she had agreed to meet. Now my nerves really kick in. Anxiety, fear excitement. As the door opened she greeted me with a gentle kiss arousing every sense in my body. She is stunning and captivating everything I hoped it may have been and so much more than I had ever expected. For almost 4 hours I had the most passionate sex of my life. The way she looked into my eyes and how her body responded to every slight motion I made. Her scent, her voice and her smile resonate in my mind and send shivers down my spine everytime I close my eyes. I fell hard mixed emotions and many fears all subsided when my lips were pressed on hers. Lola you are simply amazing, a rush of life in me a deep desire to see you again and again. Where did you come from? I am head over heels and I know many of you will say I'm silly but this feels real. You should write a proper recommendation on Lola in the section of the city you saw her in. Sounds like you had a great time and I'm sure she would appreciate a rec written, otherwise your great experience will be lost over time. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted May 18, 2014 Second Spud's post...sounds like this lady should receive a recommendation BTW GH how are things progressing with you RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad 49548 Report post Posted May 18, 2014 Glad to hear you had a terrific encounter. Excellent memories are part of what this is all about in my opinion. "I am head over heels and I know many of you will say I'm silly but this feels real." I don't think you're silly but--remembering the emotions you expressed when you first started this thread--I hope you won't mind if I presume and offer a few words of caution. This can be a healthy lifestyle and you may find some healing and happiness here both...but don't let your heart run away from you or you may end up hurting yourself. "Feels real" and "real" are very different things, and while it's great when we make a connection with someone here, and while that connection can be real as far as it goes, just don't forget the "as far as it goes" part. :) Take a few deep breaths, enjoy the memory and feelings, but keep your head and don't lose sight of the boundaries of these relationships. If I'm reading too much into that last sentence, then I apologize, and I hope you know I say this with the best intentions. Good luck to you! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
