When She Retires

[newboy 4919]

I had been seeing her quite regularly, (although not excluding others), during the last year and a half.

 

We grew to know how to push each other's buttons so to speak, and it seemed a connection was created.

 

She was one of the sweetest persons I have had the chance to meet.

 

I always knew in the back of my mind that someday I would not be able to see her again, and tried to prepare myself for that.

 

Now that she is gone, I really miss the times we spent together.

 

I have tried others, but it just doesn't seem the same...

 

I know that eventually I will forget, and that I will remember the good times, but for now, she is missed.

 

Although all of this is NSA, I am sure some of you guys out there,

(and perhaps ladies), have experienced this.

 

I am sure many will say that it should not happen, but we are after all, humans...

 

How did you manage to get by with it?

[roamingguy 300292]

First be happy for her, that she is able to move on to the next stage in her life. Yes I'd miss her, but I would feel worse if she was continuing in this lifestyle when she really no longer wants to.

Remember the good times and be happy she could retire.

RG

[newboy 4919]

I certainly am very happy for her, and I wish her nothing but the best in her new life.

[MightyPen 67414]

What's that saying? "...a time and a season for all things...".

 

The depth of feeling you have about the companion you've lost is a perfect indicator of how fortunate you were for the experience in the first place, and to have had her company for the time that you did. That's one of those things in life; early on it keeps giving you new things and experiences, but over time you're forced to deal with the feelings when something, often completely out of our control, takes them away.

 

It's always a hard transition, but I find that grief eventually gives way to that second sentiment of appreciation. And while it's common to feel like a lost partner was The One, that's not true... what you've really learned is that such experiences are possible for you, and while there's still time you should look for them again. Don't forget anything; that's never the point. Let your memories of what's possible motivate you into moving forward.

 

I always hated it when people would make these kind of statements when I was in the midst of grief; it sounds so trite and almost like it's trying to trivialize the loss or the person I missed. But not so. Really it's just an assurance that you've had a wonderful human experience, and it's worth searching for again. You can absolutely recapture that feeling with someone new. But you need to put in some work to get there.

 

That's one of life's great adventures. So you're Columbus and you discovered the Bahamas? Awesome! But now that's behind you, time for another voyage. Cuba and the Americas are waiting.

 

I guess my only practical advice is: time. And to not stop trying with new people. And try not to let the shadow of your old experiences get in the way of appreciating the new ones while they're happening.

[IrishWhiskey 370]

Do you know that she is gone forever? I have known several SP who just take some time off and return after a break. There is always hope that she will return!

[Nathalie L 112512]

I guess my only practical advice is: time. And to not stop trying with new people. And try not to let the shadow of your old experiences get in the way of appreciating the new ones while they're happening.

 

I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

It's really beautiful that you were able to connect with someone like that, regardless of whether it happened in the context of sex work or not. It's great that you're supportive of what she wants and I'm certain that in her own way she appreciates the times you've spent together.

 

When I (semi)retired in October 2011, I wasn't sure whether I would come back and I definitely mourned some of the relationships I had maintained while working as an escort. It was definitely hard and the decision to take a break wasn't easy. It was amazing to come back and reconnect with both new and old lovers.

 

As IrishWhiskey mentioned, perhaps she will be back!

[aimtoplease1 1839]

This happened to me about 10 yrs. ago. I actually teared up when I was leaving. I still think of her a lot. With time it does get easier. Hopefully you can find someone else you conect with the same way. Good luck!

[Old Dog 179138]

I wish I could say that it get's easier... but that would be flippant.

 

The truth is, we are all humans and when you spend any significant amount of time with ANYONE, be they a provider, a friend, your favourite server at a restaurant, or whomever - when that bond gets broken by change, it hurts. It's not unnatural - it's love.

 

I am not speaking of the romantic kind of love that tears at your soul, I am talking of the love that we feel for those important to us. It's too great to be called a fondness, you can't just say that you "like" them; they are way too important to you for such trivial terms. To not harbour some degree of sadness would be far more worrisome than what you are feeling now.

 

My own experience with this is very similar. My first "regular" provider in this city and I struck such a bond that at times it almost felt like a vanilla world relationship. She has been in and out of the business for a few years now, and we do see each other from time to time, but it does hurt that she is not around. I understand that she is moving on, and a big part of me is thankful that she has found other things in her life to fulfill her ultimate desires for happiness.

 

It was because of her that I found CERB. She still haunts memories but now when I think of her, I smile. By leaving, she gave me the opportunity to explore new avenues, to foster new relationships and to experience so much more... now I have a far wider circle of "love" and I have her to thank for that.

 

I miss her. I miss her sound, her taste and her touch. I miss the way she used to make me feel... but she has given me two great gifts and those in no small measure are compensation. I have the memory of my time with her; it sits on a shelf in my mind that is easily accessible. She also gave me the opportunity to share of myself with others - here - and for that I am more than grateful.

 

My advice? Don't forget her but let yourself try to move on. Find someone that will help start a new memory shelf. There are so many beautiful women on here that can and will ease your pain, I am sure that any number of them would be willing to give it a shot.