Loneliness - a virtual hug

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Big hugs to you Nat, you are beautiful.

[Eric Northman 16522]

Loneliness is one of the most crushing and destructive of all human emotions. We're such social animals and being deprived of human contact and intimacy has been proven time and again to have effects far beyond the emotional. Lonely people heal slower, stay sick longer, die earlier. Everyone has been lonely and I never feel so sorry for someone as when they're suffering in solitude.

[CristyCurves 169032]

As a steadfast loner I seldom feel loneliness, or so I think. But I will say when I lost my father I started to have the feeling of being alone. Like my connection to something, anything had been severed. So perhaps I'm fooling myself, maybe this is loneliness.When a loved one passes a part of you leaves with them and the feeling of a "safety net" does as well. Thats the best way I can put it. We all need a reason to live, being loved is the biggest one imo, so if and when you lose that you can begin to question yourself, feel unexpected feelings, all in all it's very nice to have someone, a stranger reach out in understanding by writing threads like this, so thank you Nathalie, please accept my virtual hug. To anyone else that is feeling like they need one heres one for you too:)

[Luckyme 41401]

Like most, if not all of your posts, Nat, they are well-written and beautifully expressed. This one is no exception - you have fully and eloquently expressed the feelings of Loneliness, which most of us feel at one time or the other, whether we are SP's or hobbyists, or neither.

 

Your post gives me an opportunity of returning you a big virtual hug and to others as well. Merci bien.

[crankF 12893]

Many people express feelings of loneliness and isolation, regardless of whether they are involved in the sex industry or not. Loneliness, isolation, solitude, communication (or lack thereof), and aloneness are featured topics of conversation when you're on the quest for meaning. We are all looking for a connection - we want to be seen, heard, smelled, and touched.

 

I recently had a conversation with Kay about the importance of connecting, touching, and being held. Talking about it, and not being afraid to reach out for a hug, is how people share their solitude.

 

I want to reach out and say "Good morning, I'm alone too."

 

I suppose this thread is just that. A virtual hug from someone who cares and understands.

 

Loneliness is complicated, it's one of those feelings that's hard to get rid of and hard to explain. It's a feeling often denied by introverts (such as myself) and often inexperienced by extroverts (like a lot of my friends).

 

We all know it exists though, in its various forms. We all talk about it, and define it differently. Sometimes we only experience it for a moment, sometimes we experience it for years...

 

--big big big hug--

 

Love,

Nat

Introverted hug right back at you, Lovely One!

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Thanks, Nathalie and Cristy.

 

Although, CERB can have its naughty erotic elements, its fun side and its business purpose I've noted that there is a real undercurrent of "community" here. There are some real and genuine people, SP's and Hobbiests who do care about and respect those that inhabit this community.

 

My thoughts on the sensation of loneliness is the sense that there is nobody that truly cares for us and loves us in our close proximity. Someone that in a relatively short amount of time you could "hug" if you needed to as Nathalie points out. You could be surrounded by others but if you don't have that sense that they truly care for you it won't matter.

 

Throughout my life so far I've done far more travelling than I'd like and spent too much time away from those that "care". As good as technology gets with skype and facetime etc. nothing replaces that comforting physical sensation of anothers hand placed on you or arms around you. That "safety net" that Cristy mentions, that person that you know when you have a moment of weakness will stand up and be that strength for you.

 

I am by nature a solitary person but there is a big difference in being alone and feeling alone. I like being alone but I hate feeling alone. This is a great thread for CERB because I think that its possible that many SP's dispite all the time they spend with clients might find themselves to be more isolated mentally than other industries. For me, constantly living in a state of connected detachment could be very hard.

 

Thanks ladies for this insight and hopefully this thread in Cerb will allow us all to share those "hugs" with those that need them.

 

Chuck

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Many people express feelings of loneliness and isolation, regardless of whether they are involved in the sex industry or not. Loneliness, isolation, solitude, communication (or lack thereof), and aloneness are featured topics of conversation when you're on the quest for meaning. We are all looking for a connection - we want to be seen, heard, smelled, and touched.

 

I recently had a conversation with Kay about the importance of connecting, touching, and being held. Talking about it, and not being afraid to reach out for a hug, is how people share their solitude.

 

I want to reach out and say "Good morning, I'm alone too."

 

I suppose this thread is just that. A virtual hug from someone who cares and understands.

 

Loneliness is complicated, it's one of those feelings that's hard to get rid of and hard to explain. It's a feeling often denied by introverts (such as myself) and often inexperienced by extroverts (like a lot of my friends).

 

We all know it exists though, in its various forms. We all talk about it, and define it differently. Sometimes we only experience it for a moment, sometimes we experience it for years...

 

--big big big hug--

 

Love,

Nat

 

This is a wonderful topic worthy of discussion precisely for the reasons Nathalie describes. Boy, does this ever hit home for me. You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone at times.

 

Sometimes I ask myself if these feelings are selfish ... Is it that I have access to a lot of people, but I only want to deal with them on my terms? In short, kind of a self-inflicted loneliness? I'm pretty introverted, so I don't think it only applies to extroverted people. I don't have answers, but I have the same questions!

 

As to the SP/client relationship, I definitely think, at least for the guys that aren't just hobbiests for the physical release, that this is likely a major factor why they enjoy visiting with SPs of all types. Having that intimate interaction is just as important, if not more so, than the physical act itself. But that where things can get a bit dangerous (for lack of a better word) as that can lead to unrealistic expectations.

 

Anyways, just my thoughts ... And a hug for Nathalie to let her know she's, most definitely, not alone.:icon_smile:

[NotchJohnson 214123]

I have heard this before and it is so true. "Even if your not alone it does not mean your not lonely".

[Athos 108589]

Thanks Nat,

 

I've been reflecting a lot about love, the nature of intimacy, and loneliness.

 

Technology has changed things so very much. You can now share your thoughts, hopes and dreams with someone in real time, yet separated by distance. You can develop intimate friendships through virtual communities.

 

In some ways the decrease in space brought about through the virtual can intensify the distance from those around you. Yet at the same time you don't feel as isolated when someone special is a text, a tweet or a pm away.

 

Cerb is built on that possibility. Hugs to everyone who needs it and feels alone. I feel very blessed that I don't feel that way, although I understand how hard it can be.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I was thinking more about the Aldous Huxley quote ... its such a sad, depressing, pessimistic thought. I dont think I agree with it as to accept it means that we all spend our lives in an internal state of confusion, not really understanding anyone.

 

I think we do understand at least those we are close to, if not by words, by nonverbal cues touching and simply by familiarity. We understand others through the power of logic any a common understanding of how things work.

 

Feelings are a lot tougher, so maybe there's some truth there. Those are some of the toughest things to express, and the inability to do so ... or at least the inability to find someone to listen ... can be the source of a lot of feelings of loneliness...

[CristyCurves 169032]

... or at least the inability to find someone to listen ... can be the source of a lot of feelings of loneliness...

 

Exactly. When someone is willing to listen to you, to understand and get you that shows they care and appreciate you. We all need to feel that from time to time.

[silverado17 12689]

i live alone also and at times it's lonely but i'll turn on the computer and on cerb is the chatroom and chatting in there it's not so bad then but holidays not to many around so that's when it's really lonely the worse time is winter when everyone is hiding inside but when the weather warms up lots of people around so not to bad then ethier

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

While I do spend a good amount of time on my own, I am actually okay with it because although I am alone physically speaking, I know it's not true otherwise. I believe depending on the circumstances and emotion we feel at the moment, it is possible to feel very alone. I have been there myself.

 

Here's a cyber hug for those who feel lonely.

[WhiteKnight 1413]

Big hug to you Nat. As usual, wonderfully written.

 

As a brainy introvert, my experience of loneliness echos many of those expressed so far. I have a big family and many friends, but I do most of the listening in my relationships. Sometime it is nice to be listened to! However, above and beyond being a listener, I found that shared experiences, even quiet ones, are good to create a bond and feel more connected. Watching the stars with friends, dancing, studying and teaching together, helping out, traveling together in a foreign land, lovemaking, all help to "understand" someone a bit more I feel, as we share not only the experiences but also the emotions created from them.

 

In addition, as an ex-shy person, I was surprised to realize that as I learned to pro-actively connect with people in different ways and nurture different kinds of intimacy (CERB ladies are amazing teachers!), my general feeling of loneliness decreased very much, replaced by hope, self-confidence and joy.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I have been traveling a difficult road for a number of years and I have felt absolutely alone..... it has not been the absence of people who I love or who love me that has been the problem...i am happily married to a wonderful lady and have a supportive and loving family...but shit happens in life and as a spouse and father you often have to be strong when you feel week and are alone because you can't share your burden with those you love. To the world you are happy...when inside you are pain. I never thought that losing myself in the company of a Beautiful SP would provide me with someone who I can talk to who us supportive and non-judgemental..... wonderful ladies who help people who feel lonely.... Thank You.

[bcguy42 38594]

Oh, so straight to the heart, Nat.

 

This is hard to write.

 

I get through my days for the most part by acting as if I do not feel alone. Things are just simpler if you and him and her and those people over there don't know I feel this way. I'll deal with it.

 

Then something like this comes along and I am confronted with the fact. And, for a few moments, cannot avoid it.

 

And having said that, I'll get back to doing what I do.

 

So few words... so hard... there's always "delete'.