Susie 1472 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=830159 I pay my lover a wage Thursday, June 25, 2009 I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but I'm equally sure that it's the type of thing which would cause raised eyebrows and a lot of disapproval, which is why I haven't told anyone. However, it's an arrangement which has worked very well for me for the last three years and I hope it continues. My ex husband and I get on pretty well, but I don't want all the complications involved in getting into a relationship - I want to be able to concentrate on my children, my job and my life without introducing a man who might well walk out at some point, thus upsetting the children. Although I know I could go out a couple of times a month and find someone for sex I don't have the time or energy for a series of one night stands - I want to be wined and dined and know exactly what's going to happen, without any worries about the next day. My husband and I had a great sex life and I really missed that, so I decided to do some research. The internet was the obvious place and I found a huge range of websites and adverts offering a wide range of services. Some of them were simply hilarious, but in the end I found Justin. Our first encounter was nerve wracking and my main worry was that I might not find him attractive, although I definitely went out there with sex on my mind. In the flesh something has to click and although I knew that he was extremely good looking and very fit I also knew I had to fancy him. I booked into a hotel and spent ages getting ready, then Justin came to collect me and we went out to dinner. Thank God, despite my nerves there was an instant spark and we had a great time, especially since we both knew that the whole evening was definitely building up to sex. When we got back to the room there was no problem tearing each other's clothes off and the sex was fantastic. I knew I'd made the right decision and we meet once or twice a month, with the occasional weekend away or short holiday, which I always pay for. He makes me feel that I'm the centre of attention, he's very protective and caring, we have a laugh and a chat and the sex gets better and better. He always makes it special with candles, massage oils and sex toys - now how many men would still be doing that after three years in an ordinary relationship? Sorry if this goes against the stereotype, but I want fabulous sex with a lovely man without any ties. We might well be at the stage where women are seen to enjoy sex as much as men, but not at the stage of admitting that some of us are happy to pay for it. There's currency of some kind in every relationship and I know that although we get on well and have a great time together, at the bottom of it all is hard cash. I'm quite vain and having a man in my life who sees me naked regularly certainly makes me focus on looking after myself, so I'm very slim and fit and feel confident sexually. What's really interesting is the amount of other men who ask me out - it does make me realise that when you've one man around you seem to get the pick of the rest as well. You wouldn't question this relationship unless you knew I paid for it - we're both adults, seeing each other regularly and enjoying ourselves. Why does money suddenly change it? We have cover stories organised in case we bump into anyone we know but that's never happened. Women should be able to have the sort of sex life and companionship they want, on their terms, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. I love my children, work hard - to pay for their treats and mine - see my friends and family and enjoy my hobbies like anyone else. This way, I'm very satisfied sexually which makes me a much calmer and happier person and I do like the secrecy element of this arrangement. I keep both lives totally separate and Justin doesn't know where I live, what I do or even my real surname - though I'm the same with him and we contact each other by mobile phone. Nothing's forever and I hope it will be some considerable time before Justin hangs up his thong, but I'm sure there's a replacement out there should it ever happen. I know now how well this can work and it's perfect for me. Maybe I will change but I think it's unlikely. Every so often I can indulge myself and then walk away completely satisfied, ready to get on with the rest of my life. Being able to have such a lovely time and be treated so well, without any worries or upset - frankly, that's priceless. As it is he costs $400 for an hour, $540 for three hours and $1200 for overnight, and every penny is well spent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 welcome to the other side of the hobby.......congratulations.....!!!:grin: you have what most men are in this for....companionship...great sex...and fun....without strings..... I think you are doing something great for yourself.......... I send you my best wishes and all the best for enjoying life!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 First, thanks for posting this Susie. I wish more women realized that they can see escorts and it's totally okay. It saddened me to read many of the comments. Apparently when you pay for sex, you automatically become some degenerate who has some issue with "normal" relationships (and what is normal anyway?). Why can't people realize that no matter what type of relationship you choose, in some way you ARE paying for it? Marriage is just whoring yourself to one person for as long as it lasts. It is nothing more than a legal form of prostitution in which one party supports the other, or there is mutual support, with the understanding that you can get laid whenever (getting laid whenever though, that part is of course, in theory). Dating is the same thing. Men and women the world over trade dinner and drinks for sex. It may not be implicitly stated, but that's what it really comes down to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariane Valmont 332 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 I certainly do not judge anyone who pay for sex. I don't see anything wrong with it, whether you are a man or a woman. But I have to admit I don't understand why a woman whould feel the need to pay for sex on a regular basis. There are just so many choices and opportunities out there! We ladies are very lucky. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted July 15, 2009 I'm a little confused. Was this an article you found that you liked (I did) or one you posted there and then shared with us too? I too was struck by the negative comments. As if it's any of their business how you choose to conduct your relationships. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Akhenaton 221 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Welcome to our nic of the woods my dear Susie. Anyone on here who has issues with what you do needs to take a good hard look in the mirror ;) However, as a man, it is always comforting to see that as women's roles change and they become closer to the roles traditionally held by men, they are also finding the same shortcommings or issues with relationships that men have been complaining about for eons (I don't have time for the drama, I don't want to be commited to a blank check without any "service guarantees", I DON'T WANT STRINGS attached to sex beyond the act itself (I.E. well if you don't do XYZ it will really spoil my mood for later...)) I think it's great to be able to contemplate the day when "anyone" can provide services of this nature, as at that point, groups like Erin's may have an easier time convincing "people" of the real issues affecting sex workers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Akhenaton 221 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 You are quite correct Ariane, but I think as roles evolve, you will find that women will also run into the same issues many men have encountered (time constraints, spontenaiety, and others I am forgetting right now) and will turn to this type of arrangment. A quick look at some dateing sites will reveal that some women are already getting tired of "paying his debts" and clearly state so. As revenues increase, so to does the perception of entitlement from "spouses" be they men or women, and thus the higher earners feelings of "abuse" or the blank check syndrome. In the end those women and others will become more and more attracted to other arrangments, most of the hobbiests here have already hit the issue in one form or another and have chosen to make the selection as opposed to the long term "whoring" Erin was refering to. I certainly do not judge anyone who pay for sex. I don't see anything wrong with it, whether you are a man or a woman. But I have to admit I don't understand why a woman whould feel the need to pay for sex on a regular basis. There are just so many choices and opportunities out there! We ladies are very lucky. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Why can't people realize that no matter what type of relationship you choose, in some way you ARE paying for it? Marriage is just whoring yourself to one person for as long as it lasts. It is nothing more than a legal form of prostitution in which one party supports the other... Aww Erin, you sound like you've been a married man before! I nregards to the article, it is unusual for the shoe to be on the other foot and see a woman expressing her outright acceptance of using a man strictly on a professional level. Like Ariane states, a woman can go out and get it for free if she likes. But this looks to be yet another example of how the differences between men and women are blurring even further. Reading the article, it reminded me of the frame of mind that I am in right now....can't be bothered with a full time relationship. And sure, a girl can go out and have her pick of the litter from all the single guys starved for sex, but then there's the drunken 2AM booty calls, the almost inevitable fact that since you're sleeping with them they start believing there's something more to it, or the grief you have to go through to pick the right guy after sampling a few 'winners'. This way, she gets what she wants, when she wants, and on her terms. Nothing degrading about that, sounds like equality to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Yes.....I agree...can't be bothered with relationship drama and go for what you need...i.e. I have friends for companionship, sps for physical needs, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coachg 388 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 As the old saying goes "different strokes for different folks"...whatever works for you...there is nothing wrong with keeping a lover on the side just for those good times without all the drama....keeps the stress way down and there is nothing like being healthy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Susie 1472 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 I'm a little confused. Was this an article you found that you liked (I did) or one you posted there and then shared with us too? I too was struck by the negative comments. As if it's any of their business how you choose to conduct your relationships. it was an article i found and liked but posted in the wrong section, sorry! i have seriously considered paying to have a fantasy fulfilled, when i was married my husband was away alot...and was kinda selfish sexually...lol i also want to hire a hockey team....jus for an hr.... love susieXXXO Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ava Foxx 1747 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 I'm a little confused. Was this an article you found that you liked (I did) or one you posted there and then shared with us too? I too was struck by the negative comments. As if it's any of their business how you choose to conduct your relationships. Oh good...I thought I was the only one that was unsure. Susie, do tell! Did you write the article??? CERB minds want to know! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ava Foxx 1747 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 it was an article i found and liked but posted in the wrong section, sorry! i have seriously considered paying to have a fantasy fulfilled, when i was married my husband was away alot...and was kinda selfish sexually...lol i also want to hire a hockey team....just for an hr.... love susieXXXO Guess that answers my question! I personally want a football team... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted July 16, 2009 great thread. speaking a s a guy who had a massage service for women, it's not as rare as people think. Lots of women are paying for it for the same reasons we are...maybe your wives, sisters or moms. sidenote...Susie...great profile, beautiful pics...anytime you want me, I'm yours!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Susie 1472 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 ya, footballers are bigger.....a rugby team would probably be the biggest, nastiest,dirtiest.....excuse me for a moment!LOLjust gatta rub one off! wish you were here joe!!may have to take you up on it one day!!! by the way, i hear you have a great rugby club in ottawa..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 ya, footballers are bigger.....a rugby team would probably be the biggest, nastiest,dirtiest.....excuse me for a moment!LOLjust gatta rub one off! Rugby player have better endurance, less stoppage in rugby. Plus they are more use to close physical contact, scrum and min equipment does that :wink: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Susie 1472 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 any game where "hooker" is the main position to play, i love!!!and it's fun to see the men at war!!!!mmmmm.....sweaty! for some reason there are not usually many women there....which makes it even better!! love susie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted July 16, 2009 anytime Susie!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
