Just needed to vent

[Poker 125]

I have a situation that has been bothering me for a bit now, and seeing this isn't one of those things I can bring up with the buds I figure here would be the best place to get it off my chest.

 

I have taken a few SPs on trips and the like and pretty much always had a great time. But one time in particular still bothers me. A little less than a year ago I took one of my favourite girls on a trip. Wow was she ever excited about everything. How much fun we'd have, the great food, and the fact that she had never been there before was a big thing with her. She wants to see the world so a new place is always welcome.

 

But on our first night there, she took off on me for about 5 hours. Upset, yes, actually I was steaming. When she came back she said she wanted to see the city on her own. I wasn't buying it for a minute but what do you say? Of course we argued about this but I didnt want to ruin our trip so I sucked it up and enjoyed the rest of the trip.

 

It became one of those things that always bothered me. Where did she go? Did she meet up with someone? Was this planned? Finally, not too long ago she slipped and mentioned she had just come back from a "date" from someone she met in that city we went to. Paused, then said " the first time I went." Hmmm, wasnt the first time with me?

 

I decided on not doing anything about it. I guess if thats the way it is, then that's my cue. The thing is, he's on this board. And I know who, as she mentioned his name to me. Of course I can't or wont say anything to him, that's not my style and really? What would it resolve? Guess this is why I write this. I feel someone stepped on my toes, as this was planned. Of course she is off my dance card now.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

It sounds to me like it would help you to gently ask her specifically about this and tell her how you feel about it. That would rest your mind about the issue at hand and make the principled point with her that ... if you are correct ... working at your expense is both unexpected and not appreciated.

 

BTW, I dont think the other guy is your problem.

[capitalman 3861]

Ouch! I'd feel used. That's harsh man, very harsh. You have every right to have a resentment and chip on your shoulder.

 

This whole hobby is about using people I guess, but there's a certain respect expected....a code.

[Poker 125]

Actually Cap, she only went the on time, with me. She had setup a date with him ahead of time. I remember a few days before we went on the trip she was in the chat room and accidentally didnt whisper something saying "thanks (name) I'll do just that when I get to (location of trip)" was explained to me that he was giving places to visit. Never thought of it until a few weeks ago. Oh well what can you do. More of me for the rest of the girls who actually want to have fun with no headgames.

[H***r_d*h 147]

That really sucks the royal bag! That's like a scam on a whole new level, but unfortunately much more expensive :evil:. There's a certain amount of trust required for this hobby from both parties and sometimes that is taken advantage of. Too bad it happened so early during your trip. Kinda puts a damper on the rest of the trip.

IMHO, both the SP and the gent are equally at fault as he must have known she was flying down on your dime. Have you ever heard of a SP coming to see you at her expense? She would definately be off my card.

[d*mm*y 887]

Just because you plan a trip with a lady does not mean she is yours 24x7? If she took a little down time who cares?? Whats the big deal??

If she told you it was first time and it wasn't that was part of the fantasy wasn't it? One of the secrets to a hot GFE is her ability to convey that this is the "first time" for anything, even sex!!

 

Guys they are facilitating fantasies for us, they are not actually girl friends. Move on. Sorry if this sounds harsh but if you hire a date for a trip there are some basic facts you need to understand. If you were actually her boy friend you would have to do and see what she wants to do (isn't i funny how what ever you suggest is "just great"), and if she was not happy she would be complaining a lot more. You take the good with the bad.

[whatsup 11893]

If I was footing the bill for the excursion for the provider to be with me on a trip I would expect that the time that I have paid for would be our time and not for the provider to have prearranged to meet a client at the same trip destination and probably for fiscal gain ... that's what I will call double dipping ... no pun intended. In actual fact it was rather sneaky and disrespectful.

 

We the clients are paying for the providers time and the Girlfriend Experience.

[YoungStud 468]

Guys they are facilitating fantasies for us, they are not actually girl friends. Move on. Sorry if this sounds harsh but if you hire a date for a trip there are some basic facts you need to understand. If you were actually her boy friend you would have to do and see what she wants to do (isn't i funny how what ever you suggest is "just great"), and if she was not happy she would be complaining a lot more. You take the good with the bad.

 

I'm with Dummpy. If you're paying for a phony girlfriend, you should expect some phoniness. It may be phoniness you like ("you're the greatest guy ever and the best in bed and you make me cum every time" - lol) or phoniness you don't like, such as what happened to you. As he says, you have to take the good with the bad.

 

If it had been me in that situation with an actual girl friend, I would have been more upset. Not because she was banging another guy for a couple of hours fun (I'm not much into sexual jealousy nor do I expect my female friends to be when it comes to what I'm doing), but because of the lack of trust in not telling me about it.

[etasman2000 15994]

It is interesting that so far only the hobbiest have chimed in....

 

Now, Poker wasn't clear if he took her there as a client or as a friend.

 

As a client I would expect her to stay with me for a good deal if not most of the time. And personally 'double dipping' in this situation would be an assault of my trust.

 

As a friend go nuts.

 

Either way some level of social courtesy applies.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I find myself in the rare position of disagreeing with dummpy and YS. Its not a question of property rights (smile) or fake girlfriends, its a question of respect for the client and honesty. I think the SP owed it to Poker to at least mention to him that she would like to do this during their excursion. After all, he is very likely footing the bill for the whole trip.

 

Go back and read Poker's original post. They go on a trip together and she wants to see the city by herself? I think that's a rotten and disrespectful thing to do to a travelling companion, and its even worse because it was likely a lie. Also, reading between the lines of Poker's post, there seemed to be an expectation of mutual fun and planning associated with the trip, and I really think the SP was playing on Poker's feelings in an unfair way.

 

Frankly, I dont know that I would be opposed to the idea if it was brought up in a spiritness of openess, but to not say anything, and then to offer an excuse that seems contrary to the purpose of a trip, well that's just wrong. We dont have the SP's point of view, so that might change the perception of things. But from a guy like me who treats the ladies he is with like royalty, this is just BS.

[Annessa 22743]

hmmm...I have two separate opinions on this thread.

The first being if you both had agreed to spend the full time together on a client/SP basis, then there should be no running off on her part for 5 hours without explanation, especially to see another client.

 

However if she was allowed to go off on her own occasionally to get some space then dont assume that she would not also try to make the most monetarily out of her trip. Many Hobbyists that I see on vents like this sometimes loose the reality that this is a business for us and start to get too wrapped up in the emotions of it "she used me" "she doesn't care about me, just wanted to see the other guy"....sometimes she may not have really wanted to see either guy, but this is her job. Granted, she should have told you that she may have a meeting with another person, but think about it, we do have that respect enough sometimes not to tell even our local clients where we've just been or where we're going...yanno? its doesnt make us liars....it means we share a certain discretion.

 

I have been on a few trips with trusted clients, on my last trip, my client offered me one day to do social errands (as I had many friends in that town) on my own and meet up with him the next morning, and I'm pretty sure he even threw in an idea to announce on cerb that I was touring in that city. The thing to remember is, this is a business, and as long as its allowed beforehand (no one needs to know the details of where and with who you were) the air should thus be cleared.

 

My advice, definitely move on. See other ladies from now on but in the future, when you go on a trip, break open your personal ground rules in the beginning with her if you want to avoid feeling hurt in the future. A proper SP will respect your ground rules and not try and pick up an extra buck while on tour...provided you are definitely making it worth her while to stay with you 24/7

[Poker 125]

 

If she told you it was first time and it wasn't that was part of the fantasy wasn't it?

 

 

Actually, like I said, it was her first time there, I know because I went with her for her passport. What I meant by when she said "the first time" is that's when I knew she was lieing to me, that moment there. She couldn't have gone before without a passport. So with me was the first time.

[buggernot 588]

Whats the big deal??

 

It's bullshit, that's what the big deal is. If you paid for 2 hours and she spent a half hour on the phone talking to other clients to book other dates, that would be unprofessional. There's no difference here. It has nothing to do with it being a fantasy.

[drakkar 131]

It was disrespectful from her part to say the least, but I guess that we are also missing important facts, like for instance, what were the terms under which she disappeared that night? did she just vanished without telling or did she mention her intention to go 'sightseeing' before she left?

From Poker's post I assume that he was expecting her to be 24/7 with him, but was this clear to her?

[ford1976 1074]

Not knowing all the specific details, it sounds like an honest/trust issue. I'm still very much a newbie, but if I went on a trip with one of the lovely ladies on here, I would expect a certain level of trust. I realize it is a business, but if I'm, footing the bill, I would like to be asked or at least informed before a "disappearing" takes place. I personally would have no problem with my companion making the best out of the trip, but I would like to know about it. I travel occasionally with work and if i plan to deviate from the work travel plans to site see or see friends, I clear it with my boss long before the trip. (I am not saying we are the bosses of these ladies, but we are sort of employers of sexy independent contractors. :-D). Just my two cents.

[Annessa 22743]

It was disrespectful from her part to say the least, but I guess that we are also missing important facts, like for instance, what were the terms under which she disappeared that night? did she just vanished without telling or did she mention her intention to go 'sightseeing' before she left?

From Poker's post I assume that he was expecting her to be 24/7 with him, but was this clear to her?

 

exactly...i'm all for believing that it was not cool for her to just run off. but did he allow her to go sightseeing on her own? was it agreed beforehand that she was to not have any free time and that her entire trip needed to be by his side. some hobbyists assume this but some are also relaxed and give the ladies their own space if the trip is say a week long. it keeps things fresh for when they have outings etc...however if 24/7 time was not agreed from the start or she made it clear she was "doing her own thing" for those few hours, then there should really be no resentment here

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I also have accompanied men on trips and even in my free time i would never run off to make more money...this was pre-planned too even worse...tsk tsk

 

I think the lady was totally wrong to do what she did. You choose to bring her along and with that you would expect her to be with you only.

 

you did not say "i want to take you on a trip and you can work while your there".

 

You took her as a GFE because I'm sure you had some respect and trust built with her. I'm sure you could have chosen someone else but you choose her. She accepted. You took her to some place she has never been,paid her way,probably did alot of fun things together. What more could she possibly want...well we know now...

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. Totally disrespectful to you as a client.

 

kisses,

Emma A

[H***r_d*h 147]

We the clients are paying for the providers time and the Girlfriend Experience.

 

Now, Poker wasn't clear if he took her there as a client or as a friend.

 

This is the sticky point for me. If you went as friends then I assume you would have fringe benefits without the sexual exclusivity. If you went as a client and paid for her time as such then I believe you should have exclusivity.

 

If you're paying for a phony girlfriend, you should expect some phoniness.

 

Just because you plan a trip with a lady does not mean she is yours 24x7? If she took a little down time who cares?? Whats the big deal??

 

I expect phoniness as it pertains to making me feel like a million bucks: "You're the best, I love being with you, OMG....OMG, etc" and know that it's back to reality when the timer goes. But I do expect sexual exclusivity for the time I have paid for. I would definitely not be Ok with a SP that I have booked for the entire evening/day/weekend to go service someone else while I'm sleeping, tanning on the deck or eating lunch. What the hell did I pay all that $ for?

 

Just a newbie's humble and inexperienced opinion.

[coachg 388]

Hey Poker....I think it would be best to just let it go, but make sure you take the valuable lessons this experience provided....next time, just make sure the groundrules are all laid out and let her know that you expect and appreciate her honesty. Let her know how you feel about her doing her own thing....if you are ok with it or not. She should have respected you and been up front with her actions, but that is water under the bridge and cannot be repaired now...just make sure this type of thing can't happen in the future. Have a good one.

[Andee 220524]

Yeah, she definitely set that up ahead of time and played you. Just because she did that to you, doesn't mean all of us are like that. Also, if you were footing the bill, I don't believe you deserved to be treated to what is basically a sneaky, underhanded move. I would never in a million years entertain the thought of doing something like that to someone being so gracious to me. That to me is not only unprofessional, it's mean.

 

As for us being "phony", sorry, I don't buy that. I don't do anything I don't want to do. If I have to "fake it" it that bad to be around you for a half hour session, then I have no business accepting a trip. Yeah, maybe you don't own her 24/7, but surely there was some kind of an agreement as to what was going to transpire on the trip.

 

If she wanted to "double dip", she should have told you, and then let you decide if that was cool, or arrange it so that your time would be with her for such and such period of time for whatever compensation you agreed to. I personally think it would be tacky to do that to someone. It would kind of spoil the mood so to speak.

 

Unless that's how the client wanted it, which was not your case. For example, I do have a client that gets off hearing stories about me and other men and has suggested a trip to Toronto, where he books the hotel and I can see other men and then tell him about it. But that is totally a different scenario than what you were talking about.

 

To take off for five hours...I would had a note on the door saying, "pick up your bags at the front desk". I agree that the other guy is not your problem. Since, she's off your dance card as you put, it, I suggest you just let it go.

 

You an always find another sweet girl to take a trip with next time. Maybe ask the guys for a recommendation if you're afraid of getting burned again.

[MandalayBay 575]

To disappear without any notice while on a vacation (whether it be a client/SP relationship or any other relationship) is inconsiderate, rude and just plain tacky. It leaves the other person very worried during the time you are apart.

 

I would take solace in just realizing that this particular SP has no class. Just leave it at that.

 

Hearing stories about behaviour like this makes the jobs of classy, reputable, caring SPs (like myself) more difficult because it paints our industry in a negative light.

[jerican 657]

I have never entertained the idea of bringing an SP on a trip, but if I did and paid not only for the trip but their time I would have expectations. This is where I disagree with some of the other members. If it is a paid trip then you are expecting that person to be your companion on all legs of the trip.

 

If you book an hour or a half hour, generally all you want is the sexual aspects of this persons time. If you book extended sessions, full days or multiple days (trips) you are looking for someone to be with you, a fantasy whirlwind experience for the length of your time together. If they want alone time then I would hope that was accounted for in the negotiations when arranging with the person.

 

I know this has all been said in the past but we should look at this thread:

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=13242

 

I am sure we all have friends who would love a free trip, I am sure you could even hook up on the trip, but when you choose to bring a courtesan (and they agree) you are not looking for a friend, you are looking for a devoted GFE without any of the negative aspects that a real SO entails at times.

 

And yes as stated you should move on, a little wiser perhaps, and if you choose to do this again set the groundrules ahead of time as suggested by the ladies who posted.

[YoungStud 468]

I find myself in the rare position of disagreeing with dummpy and YS. .

 

Interesting comments, interesting thread. I can't speak for Dummpy but point I was trying to make (and I think him as well) is that shit happens.

 

Yes, what she did wasn't very honest or considerate or completely professional behaviour. But in the context of a foreign trip of several days during which it sounds like most of the fantasy worked, don't let five hours spoil the whole experience or memory.

 

And, more subtly, when you have fantasy expectations, expect reality to occasionally intrude.

 

Yes, having her go off behind your back and "cheat" on you sounds more like a real girlfirend than a fantasy one, so you have a good point there. Lol.

 

I really liked Annessa's points about being really clear about your expectations before you go on something that long and extravagant . Not every escort is as professional as she or Emma or Mandalay. So be clear about what your want.

 

Bottom line, this young woman has now blown away a relationship with a man who was willing to buy her a passport, take her on a foreign trip, pay all her expenses as well as for her time, treat her really decently and who sounds like he liked her personally. Kind of an expensive five hours on her part.

 

For me personally, I'm going to be more easy-going about something like that. It's not a "real" relationship in the end after all. But I can understand how others would get pissed.

 

Final point: I don't agree with the "I'm paying for her, I own her" point-of-view that seemed to be implied a little bit in some posts.. I'm paying for some time and some mutually agreed services. It's a limited contract in my view. Another reason why I wouldn't really get too P.O.'d in this situation.

 

(Can you tell I'm on holiday this week? Time to write these longer "philosophical" - lol - posts, surf CERB and still have a good time doing lots of other stuff away from my computer. lol.)

[Annessa 22743]

we still dont know the detais about what was agreed here people....everyone needs to just take a deep breath

 

Poker...a litle clarification?

[dreamer8 510]

Dude sorry to hear that happened to you ... I can see how the deception must hurt and I get dummpy's point that we don't own a girls time. Do you think the other member on here was intentional trying to hurt you?

 

if you think your story is bad I had a friend that took a GF down south and she took off on him the first night he though something bad had happened to her call the police her parents the embassy etc turns out she just got drunk at a bar and hooked up with a local. he told the parents and said "I don't know what you want to do but it's over between us and I left her passport and stuff at the front desk." the parents understood.