Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Would you allow a new friend who has romantic feelings towards you, not mutual, pay for your time since they already know they will not get a relationship with you any other way? I am aware that the friendship will most likely be over if this were to occur, either way, I'm thinking the friendship will be over as I don't want any changes to my lifestyle which he would demand. Question for the ladies and gentlemen...my ethics are being challenged on this one.... Amy Love Xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest webothscore Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Is the friend on cerb? That could matter... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 23, 2013 No he is not...absolutely not... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Assuming this friend is a client and has romantic feelings towards you that are not mutual, I would completely end whatever type of relationship you have going them. Why pretend to someone that you are interested in them in the bedroom esp when they have pursued you only to find out you don't want that? If it were me, I would find that extremely awkward and would have to sever all ties with them. If they end up just strictly paying you for your time, odds are they will wind up getting more attached and should you decline their offer of a relationship, there will be nothing but bitterness and you will be seen as a woman who was just using him for money even if it was just a business transaction. I've seen things like this happen and have always had to end the SP/customer relationship when I found people took more than a liking to me. I did not want to be put in an awkward situation or worse have some guy pursue me relentlesly when I was not reciprocal about it. Ehtically, you know someone has taken more than a liking to you and you don't want that. Why take his money now even if he insists? You do not want that being held over your head. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest webothscore Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Well, given that you mentioned the relationship would end anyway, you might as well go for it. How is business in Winnipeg? I am asking genuinely, not cracking a "winterpeg" joke or anything. Having said that, if he can't keep his emotions in check, it becomes a bad idea. Since you are a friend and you know him better, that would be the clincher. So you have to decide. Does that sound reasonable? Additional Comments: Anhhhhhh we must have both replied simultaneously as I thought I was responding to Amy ;) okay well having seen NV's response, while different, she too touches on his feelings, so be careful. Very delicate... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 23, 2013 I will clarify, I met this person through a mutual friend aside from this. He happens to know this side of my life however nothing has ever 'happened' when we have been spending time together as of yet. He is now proposing to pay for my time in order to go places I don't typically go with friends outside of this part of my life. Very nice man, I just enjoy my freedom. Hope this clarifies the question!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 If you met him outside of this and now he wants to pay for your time, if I were in your situation, I would say no and sever ties. Not worth the hassle esp since there are so many great clients out there who don't want anything more. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marc123 281 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 This is easy. If your interested in him it could be the end of your profession. If it was me going forward. We all know the rules and we can be friends and good friends. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashley Ann 75247 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Would you allow a new friend who has romantic feelings towards you, not mutual, pay for your time since they already know they will not get a relationship with you any other way? I am aware that the friendship will most likely be over if this were to occur, either way, I'm thinking the friendship will be over as I don't want any changes to my lifestyle which he would demand. Question for the ladies and gentlemen...my ethics are being challenged on this one.... Amy Love Xx I would not. The wonderful thing about this business, for both parties, is the NSA thing. When one of the parties has feelings..especially from the start..things could get complicated and uncomfortable..just not worth it in my opinion. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 23, 2013 @ webothscore, The weather could certainly be better!!! Hopefully the weather gods' will make for a really HOT summer to make up for this!!! LOL Xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MNO4 789 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 1. It eventually becomes awkward when one person wants more than the other 2. How much do you like him as a friend ? Is he a BFF or just a good guy 3 remaining friends while he wants more And you don't can be construed as leading him on 4 the friend ship is going to end eventually regardless of what you do 5 try it and see how it feels for both of you. If the friendship ends - no biggie - it was gojng to anyways 6 my thumbs are too big. Is turn into js when I type 7 this might be a good compromise for him 8 tell him the business relationship will end if it gets awkward 9 if it were any other business (ie car mechanic). You would still want to do the business. This is his risk let him take it as log as Youcan terminate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
explorer69 3513 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 Take the money and run. You are running a business. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 It could be that he's willing to pay for your time to perhaps generate that mutual attraction. Might be a last ditch effort. He may be a wonderful guy that you just have no feelings for, and that being the case, I'd highly recommend saying no for his case. Let him down gently, and in my opinion to avoid a potential rollar coaster of confusions and emotions, let him know that you'd like to stop seeing him personally even as friends. I can imagine it being tough for him to hear, but closing the door on any possibility of you and him will allow him to move on. Your profession right now is unique in that should you allow him to be your client, you'd be giving him a whiff of what a real relationship would be like, and that might not be a good thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toklat77 4616 Report post Posted April 23, 2013 I think one has to be very careful in crossing a line with your personal life with regards to this business. If he is a friend you don't want to mix up your business with his request as it would be extremely awkward and probably would feel weird during and afterwards. Also, if he is a friend why would he put you in such a situation where you have to make a difficult choice? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 23, 2013 The more I think about it, I tend to go towards, the 'NO WAY' route. I haven't known this particular person for that long and his infatuation so soon is a bit concerning. And yes, I see definite issues being a possibility. Likely for both of us. Good guy, not a good situation, and not really a great one to be put in either. Personally, I appreciate boundaries. In both my personal life and business. Thanks for all the responses!! Xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest webothscore Report post Posted April 24, 2013 Well spring could not be any better here ;) you see, your are smiling and laughing already. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Northman 16522 Report post Posted April 24, 2013 I feel like if this guy has emotional attachment for you, you will not be doing him a favor by taking his money. His emotional attachment will grow stronger and it will likely end badly for him. Assuming that there are plenty of fish in the sea for both of you, I think you would be better to refer him to another provider. Unless you don't care in which case, have at it, take the money and run, etc. But you wouldn't have asked if that was the type of person you are. And the fact that you ask shows that you probably already knew the right answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 24, 2013 Eric, as soon as I asked the question, I started coming to my own conclusions. It was something I was having an internal battle with as I certainly felt something was wrong with the thought of doing so. I appreciate all the responses, interesting different views, but at the end of the day....my conscience and ethics supersede. This thread and people's posts helped me see things clearly to a path like you said, in the back of my mind, already knew the answer to. Xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt022022 100 Report post Posted April 24, 2013 yeah, i cant wait for it to get warmer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 24, 2013 It's a tough one. What's his motivation? By having a paid date, is he attempting to fulfill his own desires OR he is trying to convince you what a wonderful lover he is or could be? If it's the former, then is he, by this act, admitting defeat and submitting to a paid relationship in lieu of the relationship he desires? If it's the latter, then is he, by this act, attempting to gain your affection by proving that he would go to any limit to achieve it? In either case, his attempts would be a means to subvert the barriers that you have in place to protect yourself from deluding reality from fantasy. If you submit to his patronage, then you are feeding not only his physical desires, but also his unstated ulterior motivation. In short... you have no idea why he is booking you, but by asking the question whether you should, you already know the answer in your heart. The right decision is one that protects yourself first, and him second. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Northman 16522 Report post Posted April 24, 2013 Eric, as soon as I asked the question, I started coming to my own conclusions. It was something I was having an internal battle with as I certainly felt something was wrong with the thought of doing so. I appreciate all the responses, interesting different views, but at the end of the day....my conscience and ethics supersede. This thread and people's posts helped me see things clearly to a path like you said, in the back of my mind, already knew the answer to. I think sometimes just asking the question forces you to formalize and summarize the problem and leads you to the answer on your own. I heard a story once about a professor who kept a teddy bear in his office and when students came to ask questions, he would tell them to explain the problem to the bear. They would often figure out the answer in the course of explaining the problem. Glad we could be your teddy bear. ;-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted April 24, 2013 The more I think about it, I tend to go towards, the 'NO WAY' route. I haven't known this particular person for that long and his infatuation so soon is a bit concerning. And yes, I see definite issues being a possibility. Likely for both of us. Good guy, not a good situation, and not really a great one to be put in either. Personally, I appreciate boundaries. In both my personal life and business. Thanks for all the responses!! Xx Ya - I think you've found your answer. I would sever communication with this fella' right away. He sounds either needy or controlling. Watch out for that character type luv. Best of luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest A** L*** Report post Posted April 24, 2013 And an amazing group to be my teddy bear!!! I like that analogy!! Xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BootyLoving 2441 Report post Posted April 25, 2013 The strong force says no, but that's just painting a broad stroke without looking at the fine details. It's very situational, and you'll have to look into his drives and situation. Becoming emotionally intimate is the danger zone for either party. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
autowaman 110 Report post Posted April 27, 2013 I would say no way at all. You already know that he knows about your 'profession' and is showing signs of emotional attachments. If he pays for time and doesn't get the 'reward' of seeing a mutual emotional attachment he could end up trying to spread the word about your 'profession' and leave you with a nasty mess to deal with. If you do begin to have emotional attachment to him, he will always wonder: A.) if you are only showing those signs because he paid for the time or B.) if someone else offers more money will you leave him for the next highest 'bidder'. A definite shut down and walk away is necessary here I think. Just my advice. (I was going to say my $0.02, but now it would be rounded down to $0.00. How does that work? LOL) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
