Establishing a conversational connection with an MPA or an SP

[RobX 2084]

I'd like some pointers on how to initiate and maintain a conversation with an MPA, or an SP, who is less than talkative. I used to think that due to the nature of their work all MPAs and SPs were extroverts. However, of the four MPAs (I have not yet visited any SPs) I have seen so far, only one was very outgoing and talkative. I myself am an introvert, and I usually depend on others to initiate and maintain a conversation. When choosing an MPA, I try to select one whose reviews indicate that she is friendly and personable. However, experience would indicate that friendly does not necessarily mean that she is an extrovert. She may be friendly, but still depend on an extroverted client to initate and maintain the conversation. I'm not used to the role of controlling a conversation, and there are additional obstacles to having a conversation with an MPA and an SP. I found it interesting that the longest thread in the Newbie section is "What not to ask an SP", because whenever I try to initiate a conversation with an MPA, the only things I can think of are things that I should NOT ask her. Because of the need for discretion, the usual guidelines for having meaningful conversation do not apply when conversing with an MPA or an SP - ie. opening up and sharing something personal about yourself, finding things you have in common, where you work and play, people you know, etc. Also, I find also that body positioning is an obstacle to initiating a conversation with a MPA - most of the first part of the massage you are lying face down facing away from the MPA. Compare this, for example, to body position when getting a lap dance - the girl is on your lap, your faces are inches apart, and it is much easier to converse. I would therefore be interested in pointers anyone may have for initiating and maintain a conversation with an MPA - what are some of the things that you CAN ask her, for example? Also, how is it different with an SP compared to an MPA? Does the higher level of intimacy with an SP make it easier to establish a conversational connection that it is with an MPA?

[RobX 2084]

Since no one answered my previous post on how to establish a conversational connection with an SP or MPA, I checked for information on some of the other escort review boards, and found answers to a similar question on one of the other sites. The information was related to starting a conversation with an SP, but probably applies as well with an MPA. Therefore, in order to make this post more complete I have summarized and paraphrased the information from the other site. The question asked on the other site was: Q. When you first meet an SP, how do you start things off? What do you say first? What do you talk about in the beginning? The answers provided were the following: Introduce yourself. Smile. Compliment her on her looks, but make the effort to notice something unique about her and compliment her on that - it could be her clothing, jewelry, the way she wears her hair, or even a tattoo, rather than just telling her that she is beautiful, which she has probably heard 10,000 times. Ask her how her day was. Ask her where she's from. How long has she been doing this? What did she do before? Tell her about yourself, what you do for a living, a recent vacation, your hobbies and interests. Tell her if you feel a little shy. She will probably notice anyway.

[etasman2000 15994]

How long has she been doing this? What did she do before?

 

Both these questions might be considered intrusive.....

[Annessa 22743]

Both these questions might be considered intrusive.....

 

I agree with estaman on those two topics.

 

its funny, its almost like asking "what do you talk about on a first date to someone whos not very talkative?" obviously there needs to be some initial icebreakers...but in the end if her conversation skills aren't the best and it feels like you're pulling teeth for a convo (really something that she should be taking the lead in doing) it might be easier to find an SP or MP that has a better conversation repertoire rather that go through date after date of akwardness.

[LazeyGeorge 768]

Let me ask you a question in hopes of answering yours.

 

In your normal day to day activities you must come in contact and have conversations with many people. Even as a introvert, you must have some opening converstional gambits? Is the uncomfortable conversation as result of the situation?

 

Just remember that it is a person you are with: practice non-judgement, defencelessness and connection. The conversation will flow.

 

Or...you could always talk about the horrible summer weather we had ;-)

[jerican 657]

I am interested in intimacy and passion so I always book some extra time and bring snacks or beverages so we can sit and Chat before we start anything. You are right (in my experiences) that you will probably have more connections with an SP as you are doing something a lot more intimate together as opposed to her doing most of the interaction when you are with an MP.

 

If you are an introvert and have trouble starting or continuing conversations then you will probably have issues. Like LazeyGeorge mentioned think of the tactics you use in regular life. Is the MP from another city? ask about the city, is she very fashionable (before she disrobed :smile:) ask about the type of clothes she likes, does she have any tatoos, ask about those. Find a similarity and try to connect with that.....like Annessa said there will be some that are not great conversationalists or not interested in chatting, I would move on to another if that is really important to you.

 

My most memorable experiences (with MP's and SP's) were the ones I could connect with as we chatted before we got more intimate, it costs a bit more to book the extra time, but it has always resulted in a more personal and intense experience....

[YoungStud 468]

Some people like to talk and some don't. And that can vary from day to day. From a client point-of-view, if you're not very good at it in the "real" world, chances are you won't be very good at in the "artificial" world of escorts, either. (This "floating world" as the Japanese call it.) And from an escort POV, it's totally up to her as to what she feels comfortable with, client to client.

 

Most people, I think, are here for casual sex for fun (I hope for fun, though some may have deeper issues and motives) based on a "user pay" model. If you can also sometimes have a nice chat with a real person while doing that, that's an added bonus.:rolleyes: YMMV.

[fortunateone 156618]

Some people like to talk and some don't. And that can vary from day to day. From a client point-of-view, if you're not very good at it in the "real" world, chances are you won't be very good at in the "artificial" world of escorts, either. (This "floating world" as the Japanese call it.) And from an escort POV, it's totally up to her as to what she feels comfortable with, client to client.

 

Most people, I think, are here for casual sex for fun (I hope for fun, though some may have deeper issues and motives) based on a "user pay" model. If you can also sometimes have a nice chat with a real person while doing that, that's an added bonus.:rolleyes: YMMV.

 

I agree with this POV.

 

Think of things that are light, maybe stuff you would talk about to a co-worker. I am guessing you wouldn't ask how long they've been doing this, or what did they do before, but might stick to lightweight topics like popular movies, TV and favourite foods. The weather. Public transportation. Traffic. The price of gas. There are a lot of things to chat about during a massage. It doesn't have to be sexy time, but it could be. It needn't be intrusive, that might make her uncomfortable. And it can be a nice change from the guys who ask "what got you started in this biz", cuz that is not necessarily something she wants to discuss with a stranger.

 

I don't think any of these things should be mentioned:

Ask her how her day was. Ask her where she's from. How long has she been doing this? What did she do before? Tell her about yourself, what you do for a living, a recent vacation, your hobbies and interests. Tell her if you feel a little shy. She will probably notice anyway.

 

Excepting hobbies or interests. You shouldn't be telling her a lot about yourself, but you can say what sort of work you do. If you hang glide or play parcheesi is also good. That you are a pilot for Air Canada, is not good. Be discrete, and expect her to be the same. Don't ask where she is from, where she went to school, how long she's been doing this, etc. It implies that she would be doing something else if she could be, I think. I think this list was bad advice, tho I know the OP found it on another site. It explains a lot, tho, about some questions I get regularly lol. I think if you stick with current events, at least she won't be hearing the same old questions again and again. That will make you stand out, and be a preferred repeat customer.

[RobX 2084]

The replies to this post contain a lot of good information and advice. I tried putting some of the advice into practice, and I thought I would update this post with the results.

 

My most recent experience was with an MPA who had just started in the business only 3 weeks prior to my visit (I did not know this when I picked her). Understandably, she was very tentative and seemed to rely on me to take the initiative to signal to her when things should progress beyond the normal massage. She seemed to take the same approach with respect to conversation. We hardly spoke at all for the first half of the session, as has been the pattern for most of my massage sessions. Shortly after the turn, I took some of the advice I had been given and tried to engage her in conversation by asking her by herself, while trying to adhere to the suggestions given not to be too intrusive or too personal. Suddenly she opened up and started telling me all about herself.

 

I don't remember what I had asked, but it was as if I had turned a key in a door and the door was now wide open. I don't think that it was the content of my questions which triggered her reaction, but simply the fact that I had demonstrated that I wanted to talk and that I was interested in getting to know her better. She talked about where she had grown up, where she had lived before, how she came to live in Montreal. She mentioned her father, mother and sister, etc. She volunteered all this information without me having asked about any of it. And she asked me some of the same questions - where I was from, what part of town I live in, etc. She was so easy to talk to and I felt totally comfortable talking to her. In fact, as a testament to how well things went, she told ME at the end of our session that I was easy to talk to. This is something I have very rarely been told, and it demonstrates the extent to which SHE was easy to talk to, so much so that she was able to make even me feel at ease and completely comfortable in carrying on a free-flowing conversation with a gorgeous 23-year old while we were both in the nude. At the end of the session she sat on the massage table and we just talked. This has never happened to me before at a massage session. This was by far the best session I have had from the point of view of a conversational connection.

 

Following this experience and after reviewing the advice given in this post, below is a summary of some of the conclusions I have come to with respect to the guidelines for an introvert, like myself, to follow if one is interested in establishing a conversational connection with an MPA. These may also apply to an SP, but I reserve judgment since I have not yet visited any SPs). Since these guidelines are based on my VERY limited experience with MPAs, I would appreciate any feedback or any comments anyone may have on these guidelines:

 

1. Select an MPA whose reviews indicate that she is very friendly, personable and easy to talk to.

 

2. Select an MPA whose reviews indicate that she has less restrictions. (This guideline is based on my limited experience which seems to indicate that those MPAs who are more open sexually are also more open conversationally).

 

3. Even though you have selected an MPA who is easy to talk to you still need to initiate the conversation in order to show her that you are interested in talking and that you are interested in getting to know her better.

 

4. When asking questions, while trying to show that you are interested in conversation and in getting to know her better, you still need to ensure that you do NOT ask questions that are too intrusive or personal. (Note: This is not always easy to do and does take some self-discipline. For example, when the MPA told me she had lived in the States prior to coming to Montreal, I thought of asking what she did there, but I restrained myself from doing so. She herself volunteered this information later in the conversation, without me asking).

 

5. If the MPA volunteers a lot of personal information about herself without you asking, you have more leeway to ask her some personal questions, but still within limits. For example, if she tells you about her father, mother and sister, it may be OK at that point to ask her when you entered the business, but it would NOT be proper to ask her if her parents knew what she did, and how they felt about it.

 

6. Even though all of the above guidelines are followed, personal chemistry still needs to exist between yourself and the MPA in order to be able establish a rapport. If the chemistry is not there it will not work, and it is nobody's fault. Everybody is different. If this happens, don't blame anyone, just move on and try to find an MPA with whom the personal chemistry is better.

 

7. There is one guideline which I used to follow, but which, following my most recent massage session, I will now remove - ie. I used to exclude MPAs that are I knew were new to the business, on the assumption that they, being new, would be more restrained in all aspects, including conversationally, during the session. However, now that my best session conversationally was with an MPA who only started in the business 3 weeks ago, I will remove this guideline. The underlying assumption may still apply in some cases, but my most recent session shows that this guideline is too restrictive, and the risk of following this guideline is that I may miss out on meeting some wonderfully personable MPAs.

 

Thanks for all the advice contained in the previous replies to this post, and I look forward to reading any additional feedback or comments anyone may have on this topic.

[CourtesanCassandra 167]

I don't think that it was the content of my questions which triggered her reaction, but simply the fact that I had demonstrated that I wanted to talk and that I was interested in getting to know her better.

 

I'm fairly new on the board here but thought I'd chime in.

 

Thanks for bringing this subject up. I tend to be a little on the shy side myself, but generally I do strive to exchange pleasantries with my client. I know that sometimes during a massage, I'm under the assumption that they aren't really wanting to chat much, just wanting to quietly enjoy the massage, so I don't speak much during. Maybe this is what the young lady you were with was thinking as well?

 

But as you mentioned, you were genuinely interested in conversing with her, so she opened up & started talking.

 

There is one guideline which I used to follow, but which, following my most recent massage session, I will now remove - ie. I used to exclude MPAs that are I knew were new to the business, on the assumption that they, being new, would be more restrained in all aspects, including conversationally, during the session. However, now that my best session conversationally was with an MPA who only started in the business 3 weeks ago, I will remove this guideline. The underlying assumption may still apply in some cases, but my most recent session shows that this guideline is too restrictive, and the risk of following this guideline is that I may miss out on meeting some wonderfully personable MPAs.

 

And I think that's wonderful that you have widened your perspective on new MPA's or SP's. With my very first client, I had a touch of nerves, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well everything went & how comfortable we were with each other. I think that it helped that I'm already inordinately fond of sex & really enjoy male company, heheh. :D