Leading a Double Life

[someguy 67067]

As a hobbyist or Sp or MA

Most of us, are living a double life.

Like Superman or Spiderman.

Clark Kent by day and Superman by Night

Peter Parker by day and Spiderman by night.

 

We all have our private lives that we shared with Friend, family and co-worker.

And then we have this other secret life where we meet other Men and Women for a quick sexy fantasy encounter. Or for some it is their income.

However, we all have our secrets that we need to keep from our friends and family. And run the fear of being caught and suffering the consequences.

But this is part of the thrill of living on the edge. It's what makes this life style a bit risky and exciting.

But it can be stressful as you are always afraid of getting caught or being found out.

Being careful, by having second phone or forgetting to close your browser when you still have cerb or emails open or forgetting to erase your internet history.

 

Just wanted to get your thoughts and experiences of what it is to lead this double life. Did you ever get caught and how did you explain your way out of it out, or had to suffer the consequences.

 

Hope to hear, some of your thoughts on this subject.

[spud271 47779]

I don't really think of hobbying as a double life...my actual life is already one!!! It really doesn't bother me anymore who knows about what I do on my personal time. If they don't like it, than they do not have to associate with me. Though my experience has been they almost always come back to you over time.

 

As for my real life, those I have told the truth to I trust them never to mention it to anyone. So for those of you I have told, you mean enough to me to know the truth! :D

[Guest A** L***]

I agree that as an SP, at least for me, it is a 'second life' as I have a career as well that wouldn't see this aspect of my life in any positive way. I personally have no issue with it, however, I'm sure my other profession and co-workers would feel differently.

 

I have never gotten 'caught' and if by some weird fluke a co-worker called me up without knowing it was me, I'm sure nothing would happen in any way. After all, he's calling and I'm there. No services would be carried out, and no mention of it either, at least I would assume. Maybe a cheeky smile if anything.

 

As far as family and friends, no, I don't broadcast this to my family...certain friends do know, and it's the ones I feel safe enough to allow them to know. Never had a problem with it. My family at one time, a loooooong time ago knew, it bothered them so I no longer let them into this part of my life. Why upset a family who is not comfortable with this part of my life. Family does mean the world to me.

 

Not sure if I went off topic, but that's my thoughts on the matter...good post!!

 

Actually, I take it back...my family found out because of an ex-boyfriend I had...who decided to tell my mom on Thanks Giving...was thinking of why I would tell them and then thought...oh, I didn't...but didn't lie about it either...that was not a very nice or cool thing to do on my ex's part!! AT ALL!!

 

Xx

[Guest S****r]

I actually have an entry in My Secret Diary at http://www.sensuoussummer.com/My_Secret_Diary.html on this very topic. It is currently the fourth entry down. Take a read and let me know what you think!

It's titled The Double Life

Summer

 

------Note that it is the FOURTH entry down to which I am referring, although some of the other entries refer to it, too, in different ways.------

[mrgreen760 37785]

I have a triple life really....business life where I'm quite serious, my non-business life which is more of a hippy type of lifestyle and is the complete opposite of my business persona, and my this game life.

 

No one has a clue about my lives, the bus types don't know the hippy persona and the hippy type friends have not the seen the business persona and none know about my participation in this game.

 

After all I am a Pisces :)

 

Peace

MG

[Nathalie L 112512]

I think we all have multi identities and many ways of being in the world. I'm an escort, but I'm also a lover, sister, friend, student, and yogini. Some things aren't relevant in certain contexts, and we all have things we would simply prefer not to discuss.

 

All of my friends and family know what I do; unfortunately, being able to live life openly is a privilege only few share in this industry. The only time I've ever lied is with an intimate partner who did not support me seeking my financial independence through escorting. Suffice it to say, we are no longer together.

 

For some people, the 'double life' is necessary for their mental, physical, and emotional health. It's not necessarily bad, and it doesn't necessarily cause dissonance. For some, it can be very healthy and I've heard many gentlemen echo (both on the board and face-to-face) that the experiences they have with service providers help create and maintain a balance in their lives...

 

Despite the 'double life' at times (managing/mitigating risk and making sure not to get caught), I think that's a really beautiful thing.

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I wouldn't categorize this as a secret or double life. I'm single, no g/f, and not dating. This lifestyle has replaced conventional dating for me. I don't have to keep this lifestyle discrete for me. But for discretion purposes, more so for the lady I keep this part of my life private. I don't go around broadcasting that I see professional companions. It's fair to say I compartmentalize my life, and this lifestyle is a part, a major part of my life

Is that an answer

A rambling

RG

[Guest A** L***]

@ Summer,

 

I won't go in depth about my personal experience but I read your link and this is exactly why I have had to change my name on 2 occasions. Escort agencies here can be brutal...and they are.

 

Can put you in legal and physical harms way...luckily I was able to see it and feel it in my gut before anything ever actually happened...but yes...safety and watching yourself is of utmost importance...I choose not to work for agencies anymore...for a number of reasons...but this by far is the most important one for me.

 

Embarrassing to even admit I've worked for agencies to be honest..(the ones in the peg).

 

Thanks for sharing that!!

 

Xx

[RoddyThomas 2746]

We all do what we have to do. I had this discussion with a friend, regarding escorts etc. His take was "using their body for money". I asked him, and any of you, what is the difference then between and escort who uses her body sensually and someone like me, who was a truck driver and abused his body for years? Broken feet, toes, hands sore backs, knees, hips. I am 48 and feel 68 some days. I used my body, size (6'3 250) as a means to an end. I was an ape who lifted heavy things for years. I call that abusing myself!!

 

I guess the difference is I can say I was a truck driver, while ladies often have to use caution in revealing their profession. I for one, am thankful there are ladies providing comfort, companionship and intimacy.

[Guest C**Tra****er]

I don't really think of this "hobby" as leading a second life, it's just another part of my life that I don't share with everyone that I meet. Most friends wouldn't understand why I chose to do the things I do - and that extends to all aspects of my life, but that's just it - it's my life and I chose how I want to live it. I share different parts of my life with many people, and I'm open and honest with the vast majority of it, just not all of it.

 

As someone mentioned above, I'm many things in my life, son, brother, husband, manager, mentor etc, and to some degree all of those things have play in who I am. I've met many wonderful cerb ladies over the last few years and I don't feel any guilt about meeting any of them. One special lady was pretty instrumental in helping with my marriage and I will always be grateful to her :)

[IsaMassage 54318]

I have had the double life feeling.., but at this moment I think i feel more like cdn traveller, ias an MA is just a part of my life i dont share with everyone, I have already lost friendships because i was honest and told them what my job was about, their decision was they coukd not be friends with me anymore, some of them i respect because it could affect them in their proffessional lives but even at that today i also have friends that do not care what i do..., then i have realized WHO MY REAL FRIENDS ARE... Being an MA does not make me less than anyone else, it was my choice, is what pays for my bills and puts food on my table... I still dont have to pubicly scream it, but at this point of people is to find out, it would not change my mind, is what i do and if they want to accept me great of not... Too!

[loneskater 25635]

Well I have to join those who say this is not a double life. I have been involved with SPs/MAs for many years in Canada and abroad ( some that will read this weren't born when I saw my first SP lol) and I am not ashamed of that. I might even add that I have develop some great friendships with some of the ladies I met. I actually had one SP over to visit my family last year. Sure never told them she was an sp but that's just so she could be judge for who she is not what she does to earn a living.

 

I strongly believe in judging people by who they are not what they do. Unfortunately society in this part of the world is not there yet. Many would learn from travelling to Europe as we seem to be 30 years behind here. So although I don't talk to family about this part of my life, I cherish and am damn proud of the friendships I made over the years!!!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Being an SP is like being in the Mafia. Deny, deny, deny is often the name of the game for many as SPs and hobbyists. I'm sure many SPs who have friends and family who know but outside of that, no one knows the secret.

 

Looking over my shoulder is something I've learned to deal with in my time as an SP. Bad clients, stalkers, jealous competition or just plain haters. They are all out there...Take me as I am and accept who I am as a person and not what I do for a living.. otherwise you won't be included in my life. I am a mature enough woman and have come to realize over the years that I do not need approval from anyone but myself to tell me I'm a good or bad person. I know better...

 

Your job does NOT define who you are as a person whether it is morally acceptable in society or not. We all do what we do for various reasons. People can talk but unlike the Mafia, I can't shut them up or shoot them. In some cases, I wish I could! lol. So carry on...

[Guest a**4*]

For me it's kind of living a double life personally it is nobody's business i answer to no one but myself,I have met a lot of beautiful ladies here and made a few friends here,I enjoy what i am doing and will continue doing so and a thank you to the girl that brought me here to this site that shows how kind this girl is to do this for a stranger and became very good friends with a lady here.If this is living a double life i am enjoying it very much. it is like a spy movie lots of secrets a big hug to the beautiful ladies of cerb.....

[Athos 108589]

This is an interesting thread and I think people have made some really excellent contributions. For myself, I long ago came to terms with my so-called "double life". As others have said, though, I really don't think of it that way. All aspects of my life combine to make me who I am. Just some people see me in different lights.

 

I think that most of us have multiple identities, multiple roles. People in one context see and understand us in a certain way, which is different than how others might see us. Of course, in an ideal world all of these things might blend together, but it seems to me that rarely happens. Not only is it better for you if some people don't know things about your life, often it might be better for them as well. To the extent that knowledge and understanding is recipricoal ... if you know about me, then I likely know about you ... it makes sense that we have private areas that others don't share.

 

Of course, we can choose to share, and that's the wonderful thing about inviting someone into your life and allowing them to understand you in a fuller way. It's rare to find someone like that, but when you do it is a truly wonderful thing. If you're in that situation, cherish it.

[Hollywood Thomson 553]

For me it is very much not a double life by any stretch of the imagination. I have been a service provider myself, enjoy the services that get provided to me, have been a stunt cock for girls who need one for their videos on their sites and my current girlfriend is a service provider and stripper, so it is very much part of the lifestyle.

[Frank7 3939]

For me it's not really a double life. My family and two friends know i've seen SP/MA. The others don't but mostly because they didn't ask directly. The never ask about my sexual life.

 

I can see the problems with being honest some ladies would have. Sucks that the world is that judgemental for no reason.

[FootFetishTess 1261]

My "double life" concerns my family of origin. My mother and siblings Don't Know (and I'm not entirely sure how I'd handle it if any of them came right out and asked, so here's hoping that they don't). I'm just glad I'd been modeling, and doing sex workers' rights activism, for years before I got into this particular business. Both are good cover, so to speak. Similarely, I'm careful - potentially more careful than I need to be - around what I disclose in queer-professional environments (they tend to be SP-friendly, these days, but you never know).

 

That said, when it comes to my nearest and dearest, I'm quite open. It's been years since I dated anyone who wasn't in the industry, which makes things a little easier, I have no doubt. :-)

 

- Tess.

[someguy 67067]

Great reading here. hope to read more :)

[Guest ChantalSummers]

For me it is quite the double life!! I'm very new to this and loving it!! It is such a thrill!! I in my regular life I'm a lender for a bank. So it's quite the difference for sure. I know if someone from my regular life including family and friends caught me they wouldn't approve. However I imagine if someone did find out more than likely they would have to be in the same boat as me. To find my ads and photos wouldn't be a coincidence. You would have to be interested in services of some sort. Of course please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. As well I'm curious what is the reason it's a known fact that sp's use a second phone to be in touch with clients? I'm guessing that it may be mainly in case someone you know may recognize your phone number in your ad and as well if you are using only one phone people you are with may see your messages. Many people who contact me in my regular life aren't dialing the number as they have me as a contact in their cell. Is it also a legal thing to stay under radar or did I nail it? Haha as you can tell I'm very new.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I am Double Agent Lee 007 !!! I shag awesome and beautiful ladies just like Bond does :) mmm hmmm Sorry if that sounded bad ;)

 

I borrow permanently from the rich and give to the poor. !

 

I am an International Man of Mystery and I love Alotta Fagina !!!

 

I am also ..... Batman !!!!!!

 

 

I am sooooo busy

[Guest ChantalSummers]

Lol hehe love it Lee Richards!! Mmmm grrrrr baby lol!!

[6dave9 4008]

For me its very much a double life...

(I may be stating a Ronald Obvious here...) Simply, I have decided that life is too short to let it go unfulfilled... and I stopped trying to depend on someone that has no time..

So. Here I am.. What I do on my "me time" is my own business.

I could go on..but l will stop here...

[someguy 67067]

After meeting many new women over the last 3 years. I find myself now almost two different people. The everyday me, is a hard working family man,usually shy with women. The Cerb me is a lot more confident with women and caring of them. I find that I can talk to the women of cerb about more things then I could with my wife. I have experienced more in life in the past 3 years then all my years in my personal life. It's also easier to get naked and have sex with a complete stranger. And women seem to actually enjoy my company, as they ask me to stay longer and some have made me dinner and continue contact thru chat and PM's.

I also have a lot more cerb friends that i chat with then in my own life now :).

[someguy 67067]

Just wanted to see if any of you new members have anything to contribute to this thread :)