Honesty, Discretion and Trust

[Old Dog 179138]

Honesty, Discretion and Trust... three of the most undervalued, but naturally assumed facets of the industry.

 

It has always been my thought that the first of these, honesty, is one of the cornerstones of a client/provider relationship. We don't give it much thought - but it is the essential element that drives this business. Taking it down to the bare bones, it is perhaps the most honest relationship a man and a woman can have.

 

Think about it. There are things that you would not ask your significant other to do - not because they are immoral or degrading - but because of the potential for conflict, looks of contempt and accusations of deviance MAY be the end result. You love your SO but to preserve the delicate balance you may bury desire(s) and leave avenues of exploration untravelled.

 

That's where the relationship with the provider blossoms. It's simple. For a nominal fee, you can express your desires and within reason, have them fulfilled. There is a comfort in relaying your desires. You can be honest with her. You can be the man that you want to be. You know that it is in your mutual interest that discussion be frank but polite, and that again within reason, she will not mock you for the simplest of requests. On the basest level it is a transaction; but on the spiritual side, it's miraculous. You have fulfilled a fantasy or just a natural desire and it was simple. That's the beauty of the honest relationship.

 

(cont.)

[Guest webothscore]

Woa. OD is spiritual this morning. The cerbies will like it buddy! Well done. Most of the ladies you have seen have probably been in tune with your thoughts. Most of the ladies are beautiful, educated and intuitive human beings who want to go to bed knowing that they have created the types of relationships you are looking for. Good thought to share on your part on this fine ottawa day.

[Old Dog 179138]

(cont)

It goes beyond - and the beauty of the physical relationship with your provider grows with each encounter. You begin to feel the ability to confide in her. You know that discretion is her credo. You trust her. That's when it hits you. You can speak to her. You can speak to her about things beyond bedroom fantasies. You can tell her what has been bothering you. You can tell her about the amazing things in your life. You can relay things to her that you couldn't tell anyone else. Your sexual partner not only releases your sexual tension but also those other tensions that exist in your life.

 

Your time together is cathartic. It's better than religion; there is no ultimate judgment. She listens. She may not have answers for you, but she listens to your story. She comforts you. She takes your mind off your other problems. You know that after your encounter your issues will still persist, but because of the nature of your relationship, she has given you a brief respite. For that time you have together, she doesn't judge, she gives. It's therapy for the body, mind and soul.

 

Think about it. It's not just sex - it's so much more.

 

(and thanks Webothscore I needed to complete but the character limit was killing me!)

[Guest]

It goes both ways. I have some clients I can really trust. It not only makes the session better, I can really put my hair down and be myself.

 

If you think about it the ladies enjoy having our discretion respected too. It's always a good feeling to know that you can trust a client. Sometimes things in your life need to be separate and private from the escort world and it's always nice to share a little bit with special people. It's not only a safe place for the client it's a safe place for the escort too. Honesty, discretion and trust are very important things in this industry. They say talk is cheep and is easy to come by. It is a true treasure to have someone who respects honesty, discretion and trust.

 

It's a really great to know that some gentlemen are looking for a genuine connection. Thank O.D. for sharing your appreciation.

 

XoXo

Peachy/Val.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

OD you are so right.

 

There are many for whom adventures in this "business" are purely physical and if that's all the want and need great. But for those lucky few that find that perfect partner for sexual AND emotional exploration it can be a beautiful thing. Honesty, discretion and trust tend to be built over time which generally for "me", means taking time to develop a relationship (small r) with one, or perhaps a select few that actually get to know the real Old Dog or Chuck. For me I can break it down to one word "safe". To feel safe in the company of another person is awesome.

 

Peachy, it's really good to hear that some SP's enjoy the company of clients who provide them the "safety" to just be themselves. All of us deserve to just feel safe whether client or SP.

 

Just some airport rambling from Chuck

[Boomer 33202]

I think Peachy touched on the fallacy of your argument. You paint a picture from your perspective, the client. To have a truly honest and and trusting relationship there must be mutual acceptance of the thesis.

 

In the first post in this thread you state you can ask for things that you don't feel comfortable asking a partner for a variety of reasons. The actress in a good SP will acquiesce even though she might not necessarily enjoy that activity. They are bound by the pressure to give good value for the fee you are paying. You say to her, I'd like a bbbj and she reply's in all honesty, I don't like doing that, which harkens back to a recent tread on the subject that Peachy agonized over. Is it an impasse or does she flutter her eye lashes smile and go down anyway.

 

Your second point about unburdening yourself is nice, but I would venture that it takes a lot of dating to get to that point, and that the majority of women will not be trusting enough to let you in on their lives, and maybe that's not really what you bargained for anyway. I know one very nice SP who I can have very honest conversations with, and she's remarkable open with me, but also knowing that we can never truly be real friends. I am one of the fortunate clients who can be honest and above board.

 

It works well as long as it's a one way street, well paid and you don't have to invest more than you're willing to.

[Old Dog 179138]

It's gratifying to hear that it goes both ways, but to a degree I have known that for a while.

 

The relationships we build are incredible in that the boundaries are fluid. I do want to know about you. I want to show I care. I want you to see the "me" I can't show to others, and I want you to share your desires with me.

 

For the briefest of moments, I am your protector. I am the man with whom you can confide your thoughts and dreams. It sounds like old romanticism, but at the moment, the meeting goes beyond pleasures of the flesh. It's a melding of the carnal and spiritual in the ephemeral plane.

 

It's difficult to put in layman's terms. It's a temporary love that evolves into a fraternal bond and vice versa. It's sacred in the purest sense of the word. It's an obligation that comes with sharing our bodies. Not everyone can achieve it, but when it happens - it's real.

[Royalfun 55449]

(...) It sounds like old romanticism, but at the moment, the meeting goes beyond pleasures of the flesh. It's a melding of the carnal and spiritual in the ephemeral plane.

 

It's difficult to put in layman's terms. It's a temporary love that evolves into a fraternal bond and vice versa. It's sacred in the purest sense of the word. It's an obligation that comes with sharing our bodies. Not everyone can achieve it, but when it happens - it's real.

 

Very well said, OD.

 

I can't see how "Temporary love" would be less than eternal love. Love is love, and even if it's in a moment, it is something that becomes eternal, in the sense that nothing can erase that. In my own experience, living the present is all that matters; even if you are deeply in love with your SO, or in an encounter with a Lady, the relationship has to be lived in the present; the past remains the past, and tomorrow does not exist... yet.

 

The three values you have mentioned should be the bases of any relationship. IMHO, this hobby would be meaningless for me if these values were not there. And I consider, when it is shared with a SP, that it is a real gift of life, a precious one that has to be cherished like a treasure.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

Wow, OD... Your words are prolific and your romanticism admired.

 

I agree with Peachy very much. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I instantly feel comfortable with. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I feel I can trust, let my guard down, and be myself with. I am lucky to have a new client who I already feel very comfortable with, who - on our first meeting I told things about the real ME that I don't usually share within the confines of this industry.

 

I do not take honesty, discretion and trust lightly. It is of utmost importance that my clients feel these things with me, and I feel very lucky when I have a client I am able to return it to.

[Old Dog 179138]

Wow, OD... Your words are prolific and your romanticism admired.

 

I agree with Peachy very much. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I instantly feel comfortable with. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I feel I can trust, let my guard down, and be myself with. I am lucky to have a new client who I already feel very comfortable with, who - on our first meeting I told things about the real ME that I don't usually share within the confines of this industry.

 

I do not take honesty, discretion and trust lightly. It is of utmost importance that my clients feel these things with me, and I feel very lucky when I have a client I am able to return it to.

 

Not everyone can share, that's a given, but there are those client/provider relationships that transcend the "transaction."

 

Some clients just want sex. Some providers just supply sex. For them, that's enough.

 

I speak to the relationships that are built on both sides by willing and perhaps temporary "partners". That's the magic.

[Guest D***el B***e]

OMG you just hit a sensitive note with me. I totally agree with your posts OldDog, you are reading my mind. I'm exactly there in my relationship with a few close providers, and it's amazing how the relationship is blossoming and growing. The laughter is honest, the stares are deep, the physical touching is meaningful, and the emotional connection is real. I am past the point where I think I will be laughed at, rather I'm more thinking about all these fantasies I can explore, knowing that I can safely bring them to the forefront. There are things I can say, that I didn't dare to say in my first few encounters. I'm am growing closer to my providers (and I think they know who they are). I am starting to open up on some of my deepest sexual feelings, something I didn't think could be feasible. The financial aspect is totally secondary and irrelevant to me at this point, the depth of the relationship, the feelings it brings me, and knowing my provider is awaiting my next visit with anticipation is golden to me. I wouldn't trade that at all, period!

 

One more thing ... Peachy and Savannah Lane, you rock girls! I love your posts and it brings warmth to my heart knowing that some providers think like you. It's very comforting to know I'm not wasting my time developing something that's not real.

 

I'm soooo happy I stopped being a lurker and got involved ...

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I'm exactly there in my relationship with a few close providers, and it's amazing how the relationship is blossoming and growing. The laughter is honest, the stares are deep, the physical touching is meaningful, and the emotional connection is real. (Snip) I'm am growing closer to my providers (and I think they know who they are). I am starting to open up on some of my deepest sexual feelings, something I didn't think could be feasible. The financial aspect is totally secondary and irrelevant to me at this point, the depth of the relationship, the feelings it brings me, and knowing my provider is awaiting my next visit with anticipation is golden to me. I wouldn't trade that at all, period!

 

Al this is wonderful. I have a brewing connection like this with a client (he knows who he is) and I cherish it, value it and respect it completely.

 

One more thing ... Peachy and Savannah Lane, you rock girls! I love your posts and it brings warmth to my heart knowing that some providers think like you. It's very comforting to know I'm not wasting my time developing something that's not real.

 

I'm soooo happy I stopped being a lurker and got involved ...

 

Aww thank you!!! I am glad you got involved too. I have to echo your thoughts on the flip side. It is so nice to know, with all of the... Not nice men we deal with in the run of a day, that there are men out there... True gentleman who desire the same things. Thank you for showing us your softer sides ;)

[Mister T 45020]

Thank you, Old Dog, for another thoughtful, well written thread. I couldn't have said it better. I can only echo your sentiments.

 

To emphasise what has been said, particularly Peachy and Savannah, there is nothing more wonderful than receiving your trust (the ladies' in general i mean). Things can evolve and, as I keep realizing, receiving this type of trust is .... just wonderful!!!

 

 

 

It goes both ways. I have some clients I can really trust. It not only makes the session better, I can really put my hair down and be myself.

 

If you think about it the ladies enjoy having our discretion respected too. It's always a good feeling to know that you can trust a client. Sometimes things in your life need to be separate and private from the escort world and it's always nice to share a little bit with special people. It's not only a safe place for the client it's a safe place for the escort too. Honesty, discretion and trust are very important things in this industry. They say talk is cheep and is easy to come by. It is a true treasure to have someone who respects honesty, discretion and trust.

 

It's a really great to know that some gentlemen are looking for a genuine connection. Thank O.D. for sharing your appreciation.

 

XoXo

Peachy/Val.

 

It's gratifying to hear that it goes both ways, but to a degree I have known that for a while.

 

The relationships we build are incredible in that the boundaries are fluid. I do want to know about you. I want to show I care. I want you to see the "me" I can't show to others, and I want you to share your desires with me.

 

For the briefest of moments, I am your protector. I am the man with whom you can confide your thoughts and dreams. It sounds like old romanticism, but at the moment, the meeting goes beyond pleasures of the flesh. It's a melding of the carnal and spiritual in the ephemeral plane.

 

It's difficult to put in layman's terms. It's a temporary love that evolves into a fraternal bond and vice versa. It's sacred in the purest sense of the word. It's an obligation that comes with sharing our bodies. Not everyone can achieve it, but when it happens - it's real.

 

Wow, OD... Your words are prolific and your romanticism admired.

 

I agree with Peachy very much. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I instantly feel comfortable with. It is a rare occasion when I find a client that I feel I can trust, let my guard down, and be myself with. I am lucky to have a new client who I already feel very comfortable with, who - on our first meeting I told things about the real ME that I don't usually share within the confines of this industry.

 

I do not take honesty, discretion and trust lightly. It is of utmost importance that my clients feel these things with me, and I feel very lucky when I have a client I am able to return it to.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Nice and all but extremely rare from my experience and part of the magic is that one never really knows for sure.....after all this is their job and part of the job is to keep us coming back.

 

Peace

MG

[IsaMassage 54318]

Nice and all but extremely rare from my experience and part of the magic is that one never really knows for sure.....after all this is their job and part of the job is to keep us coming back.

 

Peace

MG

 

Perhaps you have not found that one or two people that you really conect with... you have to remember that after all we are people, yes this is our job.., but before that we are human beings.., capable of loving and caring... We have a heart and this gives us the ability of creating relationships such as friendships that many people could not understand, relationships in which we all understand boudaries and limits.., because we are all about being honest.., I have met really amazing people through Cerb, and have awesome friends... and they know who they are... :)

[Guest]

 

The actress in a good SP will acquiesce even though she might not necessarily enjoy that activity. They are bound by the pressure to give good value for the fee you are paying. You say to her, I'd like a bbbj and she reply's in all honesty, I don't like doing that, which harkens back to a recent tread on the subject that Peachy agonized over. Is it an impasse or does she flutter her eye lashes smile and go down anyway.

 

"Peachy responding" (Me)

I think that in any job there may be things you might want to reconsider or think about and in the end you decide to keep things the same. Don't get me wrong I LOVE GIVING BLOW JOBS. I was just concerned with the risks involved with bbbj. Sometimes it takes trying something new to notice that you liked the old way better. I don't think anyone will be judgmental about me taking a step back to think about things. I am more than happy to provide bbbj and feel better about the whole situation, now that I've had time to think things through. Sometimes you just need to reflect on things, you know. I'm only human.

 

Your second point about unburdening yourself is nice, but I would venture that it takes a lot of dating to get to that point, and that the majority of women will not be trusting enough to let you in on their lives, and maybe that's not really what you bargained for anyway. I know one very nice SP who I can have very honest conversations with, and she's remarkable open with me, but also knowing that we can never truly be real friends. I am one of the fortunate clients who can be honest and above board.

 

"Peachy responding" (me)

I think the beautiful thing about these relationships are the boundaries sometimes. When you draw a clear line in the sand it is easy to understand each other and sometimes easier than "other" relationships because of the clear boundaries. You know what is expected of each other and both partners get their needs taken care of.

 

It works well as long as it's a one way street, well paid and you don't have to invest more than you're willing to.

 

I agree that boundaries should always be respected. Both the escorts and clients boundaries should not be crossed. Nothing should be expected by either escort or client.

 

I would also like to add I generally enjoy the company of the people I spend time with. So it's not really acting but being my best self, by not complaining and such. I take a day off if I'm feeling all nasty because I don't want to bring my bad energy into the session. I make people feel great about themselves and I can say that it makes me feel wonderful. If I don't like spending time with someone I will decline a date. Of course you connect better with certain people but it's generally different levels of comfort. If there is no comfort level there, there's really no point of going forward. However, it does take time to build comfort and trust. This is only my opinion though.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Nice and all but extremely rare from my experience and part of the magic is that one never really knows for sure.....after all this is their job and part of the job is to keep us coming back.

 

Peace

MG

 

My experience has been the opposite of extremely rare. I don't do this willy nilly and I do not visit a lot, but with the ladies I do visit with ....the title of this thread "Honesty, discretion and Trust" has been amazing to me. Certain ladies I truly trust wholeheartedly and I suspect you know who you are. Quite honestly I share more with certain ladies and you know more about me in many respects than some of my closest friends. Honesty and trust becomes reciprocal over time if I am trusted and it creates a pretty awesome connection.

 

As Mr.G said you want us to come back. Well the way to get this particular country fella back to see you is....Honesty, discretion and trust. You trust me .... I trust you.... you let me in and know a little about you and I let you inside me and know a little about me and see where it blossoms from there. It's not about knowing everything about each other and falling in love, marriage and having babies. But a trust level and getting to know each other is fun fun fun :) Naked and getting busy, clothed and sipping on drink and visiting or out for dinner or a night on the town, or half naked in a hot tub .... its all fun !!! Streaking down Albert street ....would be fun but might be pushing it.......

 

Anyhooo I probably sounded nucking futz just there....but great thread OD !!!

[Tsukiyo_Chevalier 3242]

I really agree with all the other posts on this topic as it is something i feel very strongly about. it is like i always say in order to have any kind of relationship weather it be as lovers or as friends you need to have a level of trust and honesty. this is hard for some people on both sides of this hobby because you have to give in order to get the same feelings. when i go to see an sp i love to form a relationship of mutual trust and respect that even if we need to have 2 worlds in order to do it. like if we meet on the street when we are out shopping we act like we do not know each other and have never meet before, but on the inside we know that this person is really my friend and lover that would help me if i needed it, is a great feeling to have. i always love talking about this topic when ever i can as i think being close to a person really makes the time spent together more fulfilling and special. In my pov what OD said about the big 3 is really true and the one thing i can say is that i have meet some really great people and made some really great friends that i will continue to be friends with even after i have left this hobby.

[Athos 108589]

I've been reflecting on this thread, and wondering what to post (and whether to post). Of course, honesty and trust are important in relations. And what level of trust you seek with a provider will vary depending on the person, how often you see them and the nature of the relationship that develops between you.

 

I've found that I trust most of the providers I have been with. But, having said that, I tend to see a relatively small group of ladies. Most of them know my name, where I work, the city I live in, and, if they needed to, could contact me directly. I have no problems with this, and not once has that trust ever been abused.

 

Trust, honesty, intimacy ... they are all bound up together, and define the nature of the relationship we, as clients and providers, have with each other. At one level, this is true of everyone and in just about every context. And everyone has different comfort levels with how to draw those boundaries. I draw them one way, others might draw them another. This difference is reflected in innumerable threads throughout the board, but it's always interesting (and useful) to reflect on our own personal boundaries.

 

I know my boundaries have changed a lot. I look for something very different in my relationship with a provider now, then I did when I was starting out 15+ years ago. The level of intimacy has definitely increased. And occasionally, I've learned, deep levels of trust can be discovered. Levels of trust that go far beyond just knowing personal information about a person. This challenges boundaries for sure, and requires a lot of maturity and even more honesty and trust.

 

It seems to me, as I've reflected on it, that boundaries, to the extent that they divide two people and set the parameters of their relationship, are always subject to mutual renegotiation and change. The process of redrawing the boundary line can, it seems to me, to be very much part of a process of deepening a relationship, and finding out unexpected things about yourself and your provider. The difficulty, of course, is that it has to be a mutual process. And once the boundary has shifted, shifting back would, undoubtedly, be a very difficult thing to achieve.

 

Some fairly random thoughts as I try to avoid work.

 

Porthos

[MightyPen 67414]

I have a whole jumble of thoughts on the subject but I'll just throw a few paragraphs down right now, and maybe return to it later when I can figure out exactly what I want to say.

 

I agree with Old Dog that for many of us, getting the most out of the time and the relationship with an SP means seizing the opportunity to be honest and open about some pretty intimate desires. This means taking a kind of emotional risk and making ourselves at least a little vulnerable. With a good SP partner who can respond with insight and without judgement, it's an enormously healthy encounter. Each visit is a great opportunity to meet our needs for simple intimacy, explore new or familiar places on our own sexual map, or some mix of all of those things. I give the SPs I've been lucky enough to meet enormous credit for their talent in skilfully navigating the dense thickets of people's infinitely varied and sometimes tangled sexuality. That said, I agree with Boomer's reminder that this is a professional skill and talent on the SP's part, and as we know there are limitations on how deeply the participants can truly share themselves.

 

The other thing that comes to my mind when reading OD's post is the sad flip side of the coin: the fact that our conventional relationships don't always (seldom?) afford the opportunities for intimacy and sexual expression we need. And that touches on the nature of marriages and other long-term relationships -- in which a partner's love can be conditional upon our ability to fill a role they require of us, to adopt an expected shape, and to fit inside a particular box. Sexual interests that stray outside that role can threaten the relationship, so they go unexplored, sometimes completely unmentioned.

 

We all have an ideal image of a relationship full of vitality, with open and expressive partners who are keen to go hiking with us to every province of our personal sexual map. But... how often does that happen? How much more often do to people exhaust each other, judge or shame each other, or just lose sexual interest completely? Relationships are complicated, living things. And sometimes when they put the big-ticket, publicly expected parts of a shared life first (house! kids! career! in-laws! conspicuous consumption!), those thick roots and vines end up strangling the more delicate and intimate parts.

 

I haven't expressed my full meaning here, but this is getting long enough as it is. More in another thread, maybe. Oh, and for the record... no, I'm not married. ;) This is less of a personal cry, and more a reflection on how adult relationships really work, rather than what we expected of them when we were kids.

[Athos 108589]

I'd add something to my earlier post. Renegotiating boundaries is a process that may happen gradually, often subconsciously. Sometimes it can happen quickly and surprise you. But it is something that does require reflection and careful thought. It can be incredibly intense, and also extremely difficult emotionally. There are both risks and rewards.

 

porthos

[roamingguy 300292]

Great thread Old Dog. And if I may, I'll offer some ramblings. Some may reject the notions that real relationships can exist in this lifestyle either because this lifestyle is at it's core a business relationship involving the transaction of money for services, or because this lifestyle is for us a secretive lifestyle, and no one in our outside "civilian" world knows about it. I respect those holding that viewpoint although I disagree with it.

Let me address the first point, that this lifestyle is at it's core a business relationship involving money for services. Yes, very true. Does that mean because of the monetary transaction a real relationship cannot exist. Not in the least. In our "civilian" world, in dating and marriage for example, how many women have been encouraged to look for a husband who has a good job and prospects. Definitely a man's income has been a factor in being considered for marriage. Does that make any marriage or other relationships (CL, bf/gf etc) less a real relationship because one's income (money) was one of the considered factors in choosing a partner. I awkwardly used this example, but Nathalie Lefebvre in another thread succinctly put it "Money does not necessarily corrupt authentic love and intimacy, rather, it's our discomfort with the idea of mixing both that causes tension". I would just add to Nathalie's quote that not only is authentic love and intimacy not necessarily corrupted by money, neither are friendships and relationships

As for my second point that some reject the notion of real relationships because of the secrecy of this lifestyle. Well from my vantage point, I have for lack of a better phrase, compartmentalized parts of my life. For example, friends are one compartment, ladies in this lifestyle that are friends are another compartment, co-workers (ones I like) another compartment, co-workers (ones I'm indifferent to or dislike) another, those I share my hobby (fishing) with another compartment. What you say, RG forgot his family...far from it. They in fact unfortunately are two compartments. My mother's side and my father's side. When dad left over thirty years ago mom wants no part of him or his side of the family, and he has had no involvement with her or her side of the family...well except for my brother and me. But in spite of that split and not talking about dad to mom, and not talking about mom to dad both are real relationships to me.

Only I know all people in all compartments, and which people are important to me. The fact that not everyone knows everyone doesn't diminish how real or important they are to me. And yes, there are a couple ladies who are in one of those compartments, and they are just as important to me as other people in my life

And no, that doesn't mean I am in love with them and want to marry them, but it does mean I like them and consider them friends

A long winded philosophical rambling

RG

[Guest A** L***]

I will admit, I did not get through reading every post to this thread so if there is some repetition that would be why. I will say that there is something to be said for those special gentlemen an SP meets and it becomes incredibly exciting to see them because you DO have those special stories and secrets only the 2 of you share.

 

The feeling of being able to be yourself, as well as that other part of yourself, which really are the same thing, you just might not share it with everyone.

 

I have found with those very special men, I can smell it and feel it from the very beginning, (sometimes on the first meet), however I let it slowly develop over time. It is incredible to be ones' confidant as well as having them be your confidant at the same time. Yes, I am certain, there may be certain topics that are better left alone...but sometimes it's nice as an SP to be able to feel safe enough to let your guard down and being more than just a fantasy. I will also say, I would imagine it would be just as OD said as far as a hobbiest, a break and place/person you can just let go and escape, even if it's just for awhile!

 

So, I agree, with the right match, an SP/hobbiest can certainly have the utmost different,valuable and perfect arrangement/relationship that may be hard in ones' real life. So, just as a hobbiest may find his diamond in the ruff, an SP can find them as well!! It's truly something which is difficult to put into words.

 

Awesome post OD!!

 

XX

[CristyCurves 169032]

I find this thread interesting and confusing. As I thought there was a difference between sp/client relationships and so relationships but after reading a lot of the posts, maybe not. For me most of my relationships will never garner 100% honesty as I'm always guarded and believe that most people have agendas, everyone wants something and I never know what a persons intentions are clients, so's or friends, even after many meetings. So in order for me to be completely honest with anyone I'd have to completely trust them and that probably will never happen, some may find that sad but I think I'm realistic and believe if you don't want someone to know something then you don't tell anyone as most will gossip and repeat secrets. The great thing I find in a client/sp relationship is the not knowing, I find it easier to be intimate/sexual with men I know little about, as it intrigues and excites me, the mystery of it all and the realization that this meeting may be the last. Now not all meetings are good or exciting as we don't always have chemistry, or attraction but that's to be expected, you can't please everyone, but is there honesty then, usually not, especially from clients as they try hard to be gentlemen and will still, lol, say they will call or see you again, or that you were wonderful or great, so honesty in that sense isn't there.

As far as discretion I always give it, I would never share some ones personal details but I don't necessarily expect it. I hope for it but I don't know if I believe clients are as capable of being discreet because I think if an sp wanted to know something from a client she could get him to divulge, men think with their penises. So I don't think clients are always discreet, so anything I say or do with a client is only what I wouldn't care about being made public.

For anyone that is able to find and develop any kind of a relationship weather it be client/sp or with an so I hope they cherish and nurture it as it is very special, takes time and time is irreplaceable so are great relationships:)

[Athos 108589]

I find this thread interesting and confusing. As I thought there was a difference between sp/client relationships and so relationships but after reading a lot of the posts, maybe not. For me most of my relationships will never garner 100% honesty as I'm always guarded and believe that most people have agendas, everyone wants something and I never know what a persons intentions are clients, so's or friends, even after many meetings. So in order for me to be completely honest with anyone I'd have to completely trust them and that probably will never happen, some may find that sad but I think I'm realistic and believe if you don't want someone to know something then you don't tell anyone as most will gossip and repeat secrets. The great thing I find in a client/sp relationship is the not knowing, I find it easier to be intimate/sexual with men I know little about, as it intrigues and excites me, the mystery of it all and the realization that this meeting may be the last. Now not all meetings are good or exciting as we don't always have chemistry, or attraction but that's to be expected, you can't please everyone, but is there honesty then, usually not, especially from clients as they try hard to be gentlemen and will still, lol, say they will call or see you again, or that you were wonderful or great, so honesty in that sense isn't there.

As far as discretion I always give it, I would never share some ones personal details but I don't necessarily expect it. I hope for it but I don't know if I believe clients are as capable of being discreet because I think if an sp wanted to know something from a client she could get him to divulge, men think with their penises. So I don't think clients are always discreet, so anything I say or do with a client is only what I wouldn't care about being made public.

For anyone that is able to find and develop any kind of a relationship weather it be client/sp or with an so I hope they cherish and nurture it as it is very special, takes time and time is irreplaceable so are great relationships:)

 

It's very early, and I haven't had my required morning coffee transfusion. So this might not make sense.

 

Christy, I think you are quite right .... In most instances there is, and indeed should be, a distinction and difference between a relationship you have with an SP and the relationship you have with an SO. That's easier to maintain depending on the nature of how you approach the interaction and what you are looking for. If you are seeking a degree of intimacy with the lady (for whatever reason), maintaining boundaries can become more difficult. It can be hard for both for the client and the lady, depending on the circumstances. And, perhaps, neither party wants to maintain those boundaries. Yes, this is the dreaded "L" word. Can you fall in love ... or at the very least, "deep like".

 

I think you can, and I think you can even achieve that within a client-SP relationship (As RG said in his earlier post). It's really hard, and probably pretty dangerous terrain. Lot's of potential for hurt feelings, wild emotions, misunderstandings. The simplicity of the intimacy found in the "typical" (I realize no encounter is "typical") gets replaced by deep emotional connections, which sometimes are fraught. And of course, I'm talking about the situation where both parties develop feelings, not where one does and the other does not.

 

Anyway, I think many of us are talking from a very generalized perspective. I can "imagine" this happening, rather than I'm actually living it. But as others have pointed out, it likely happens very, very rarely. And that is probably a good thing. Because I am quite positive it would be very complicated. And at one level, men probably see SPs because it isn't complicated.

 

Porthos