professionalism, boundaries, rules

[Guest webothscore]

In addition to my first response on this thread, I am like Katherine in the sense that I am an adapter. However, although I am not giving a service, I like others to be happy. So if somebody wants a lover for a bit, great, if somebody wants a ****er for a while, great. It's all great. My first response to the thread actually spoke to Cristy's topic, but I felt like adding..

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

I often compare other industries to SP services as a way of explaining myself. I have a lady barber who when she cuts my hair, cleans up my neck, goatee and that ultra sexy ear hair etc. Some places charge extra for that she doesn't. The point is it is up to her. She may do it for a select few or all of her clients. An SP should have the right to run her business as she sees fit. It is her time and choice. As far as expectations most mature men would realize that it is not a guaranteed thing, and maybe time permitted it one time and not the next. Perhaps one client is a very respectful chap and a great tipper and she has decided to treat him that day. In my opinion, it is a great way for repeat business. Nobody likes to feel rushed, and if a little extra happened occasionally I would definitely want to re-book. I guess this was just a long winded way of saying it is the SPs choice as it is her business. To me professionalism is more about a clean environment, punctuality, great hygiene, and the ability to make a hobbyist feel at ease.

Why not compare us with lawyers, therapists etc? At least our premiums are more comparable!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I like to think of how I run my business similar to that of a pyramid. While I am very professional in running my business, there are certain rules, boundaries and protocol that I adhere to. The base of the pyramid would be similar to what all SPs would follow universally and it goes from there.

 

While there seems to be a purpose for every encounter, none of it can be scripted or followed to a certain tee generally because we are humans with different personalities, feelings and emotions while there is an exchange of intimacy involved.

 

While I offer the same professionalism, respect and pride in my service to every client, again, each encounter is different because the makeup of each client is different. I'm not saying I offer more time off the clock to one client as opposed to another but let's face facts, it does happen and why does it happen? Because we're human and don't feel bad if you hit it off with a client on a good chemistry level. That's a good thing! I'm not a clock watcher and I do enjoy my time with my clients but that just tells me that I enjoy what I do for a living and both myself and the client part ways in a happy state. :)

[Guest]

i think an important issue to consider in this thread, is the motivation of others to call out a perceived lack of professionalism, and whether or not that motive is genuinely sincere. there are definitely core principles of professionalism in any line of work, regardless of whether people follow them or not. when a competitor undercuts your price, it stings, but it's their right to make less money, or perhaps even take a loss in order to get their foot in the door somewhere. when that competitor starts offering bribes, stealing property or personally bad mouthing you in a very slanderous way, that is a real breach of ethics, and while that can be a relative term, i am not aware of any professional who feels those are legitimate business practices.

 

i can see how some of the situations cristy describes might rub other sp's the wrong way, as those same hobbyists might feel that's the "norm", but i don't see that as unprofessional, like saying another sp has a venereal disease, or steals from or extorts their clients.

 

I don't think bad mouthing anyone is beneficial in anyway. This to me is a character type of thing and reflects on who you are as a person.

 

 

Its also great to have the opportunity to show your appreciation once in a while by giving more. That is exactly what it is, appreciation, I don't expect anything more from my guest in the way of a tip or a gift. So at the end of the day ( for me ) it always works out as it ought to.

 

I completely agree. If I feel like showing appreciation, at the end of the day it is more than beneficial to me. I don't think showing appreciation as bribing someone, trying to get my foot in the door or as extorting my clients, as I don't expect anything in return. It is just simply expressing appreciation. What two consenting adult do behind closed doors are between them and should stay that way. It's no one else's business really. I don't think someone giving a little extra should be looked at as undercutting as there may be many reasons to why the lady felt like to was okey to give a little extra. Here is some of the reasons: the guy is a great tipper, you felt a wonderful connection or you just got caught up in the moment, it happens.

 

As individual business owners our focus should be on our business for example our adds, our incall location or getting to an outcall location on time, our website and how we present ourselves. I think it is counter productive to be worried about what others are doing in their business. I think it is important to set your standards in the business and follow whatever makes you feel comfortable. I may think one thing is professional and another person may not. I think the beauty about this industry is our differences and I think it would get boring if we were all the same. If I say that I have only learnt one thing is this world it would be this: the only person I really have control of is myself. I can't control others but I can control myself and my actions. So I leave to rest to fate or whatever you may call it.

[Guest t****ster***ke]

I don't think bad mouthing anyone is beneficial in anyway. This to me is a character type of thing and reflects on who you are as a person.

 

not sure the context you mean this in, but to be clear, i was in no way advocating bad mouthing others. it is generally classless :)

 

Additional Comments:

Why not compare us with lawyers, therapists etc? At least our premiums are more comparable!

 

ha! i am so glad i did not use mcdonald's v burger king in my analogy regarding the differences between open competition and professional ethics!

[Guest p**h*x]

Like most others have said it is really up to you at the end of the day. I think you would just have to be cautious that if you decide to give the extra "perks" it is with someone that won't try and take advantage of it next time.

 

As someone who has benefited from the occasional level of service that went above and beyond my expectations I would never assume I am going to receive the exact same thing in the next encounter and I would not be upset if I didn't. I just treat it as a special and memorable gift and consider myself lucky.

[fortunateone 156618]

I agree that sps run their biz the way that suits them. I do things with my sessions that gives that extra care and attention that someone paying 100plus dollars should expect and receive.

 

 

I think about the only thing i would take issue with in situations is where clients expectations go to excess because they might be left with an impression that an sp who actually stays on schedule with the agreed upon and paid for time is now considered a clock watcher or worse, rushing lol

 

I don't mean the times where sps are actually shortchanging agreed times but simply providing the agreed time. At some point that that isn't good enough, but are we now expected to provide 10 to 20% extra off the clock time in order to avoid being accused of clockwatching etc?

 

Things I ponder over the years. :)

 

And of course, we can't forget that when these things are provided, on a regular or infrequent basis, someone is going to put it into a review or discussion topic and the sp will be inundated with calls and appts from people who won't respect the time paid for, and they will be difficult for her to get to leave on time, or compensated for the extra time not freely given?

[Guest]

I agree that sps run their biz the way that suits them. I do things with my sessions that gives that extra care and attention that someone paying 100plus dollars should expect and receive.

 

 

I think about the only thing i would take issue with in situations is where clients expectations go to excess because they might be left with an impression that an sp who actually stays on schedule with the agreed upon and paid for time is now considered a clock watcher or worse, rushing lol

 

I don't mean the times where sps are actually shortchanging agreed times but simply providing the agreed time. At some point that that isn't good enough, but are we now expected to provide 10 to 20% extra off the clock time in order to avoid being accused of clockwatching etc?

 

Things I ponder over the years. :)

 

And of course, we can't forget that when these things are provided, on a regular or infrequent basis, someone is going to put it into a review or discussion topic and the sp will be inundated with calls and appts from people who won't respect the time paid for, and they will be difficult for her to get to leave on time, or compensated for the extra time not freely given?

 

I think you nailed it by saying that the clients expectations should not exceed what is regularly expected of a session. I think if the gentleman is expecting "extra" anything he is now being rude. It is something that should be appreciated not expected, just like tips or any other form of appreciation.

 

I don't think a conversation will make gentlemen think it's okey to expect extras and the ladies do have the choice to ask the gentleman who took the time to write a review to remove parts of the review. I have asked people to remove parts of reviews for my privacy and they were more than happy to accommodate me. It's a real turn off if anyone tries the you gave it to him card. This for me will usually result in a "talk" and if my wishes are not respected, well no more client/escort relationship. I think this is more of a someone trying to push their limits thing and that never gets anyone who sees me anything.

 

I just think we should give the gentlemen more credit. Most of the men I see are gentlemen and they understand respect/boundaries, don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

[Guest C**Tra****er]

I think that each individual has to run their business as they see fit. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with yourself and how you've conducted your business. Only you should be the judge of what's right for you. If you're happy, what right to others have to judge you?

 

On expectations:

 

Before I book with someone, I do read the recos, but not for a listing of the services or extras that others have received... I never have an expectation that I'm going to receive the same as someone else...I truly believe that YMMV. Maybe chemistry won't be there, who knows. I always arrive with an open mind, no expectations and follow any directions given. I don't negotiate and am always respectful. Many encounters have had extra time and services not expected, and anytime that happens, I am always appreciative. If I book again, I don't have the expectation that the same will happen again - Of course, I'm hopeful! :)

[Tsukiyo_Chevalier 3242]

honestly i this that the ability of an sp to be able to go over her time or do what she feels is right is the greatest part and privilege of being an escort and not just a SW, i know there are expectations with each meeting but when i go to meet a SP i am just paying for the time and to meet with them, and truly each moment is different and unique to that time, i am not one and would never take advantage of an SP's kindness but if is were to say to me i like talking to you and do not have any other clients coming would you talk for a little longer i would love to. and it is something that i would never expect the next time i saw her, nor would i tell anyone that i was given something extra or more time as this was between us.

I know there are people who do not think the same way i do and some who would do things to spoil an SP wanting to be in the moment and i feel sorry for any SP who has not been able or feel like they cannot do something because they do not want to be taken advantage of by others or by the same client.

[Irina Adler 5376]

I'm new to the massage business and already, after only a couple weeks of work, I notice that my sessions vary greatly depending on the client. Of course the basics are all there, I don't cheat anyone out of what they paid for, but depending on the vibe I get from a client the session may change. If a client is immediately aggressive once the session begins, and continues to cross my boundaries even after repeated requests for him to stop, I will be more cautious about where I stand and how I maneuver my body. If a client is very respectful and perhaps a little shy, I may move in a way that will allow him to touch me more easily and feel less intimidated. I don't think any MA or SP should feel guilty about providing different sessions to different clients- we're not robots, clients come in for the human connection, and our decisions in interpersonal relationships are always subjective.

[Phaedrus 209521]

However, what are you going to do when the guy you saw for an extra hour for free, comes back to see you? Are you going to give him another free hour? Will he feel that something is wrong this time vs. last time? What happens if the guy you saw and gave a bj instead of a hj tells all his friends and they all want the same treatment?

 

It's always a risk. I guess this comes down to the individual. Some people will understand that the fact that they got something extra once is no guarantee that it'll happen again, and that they have no right to expect it. Others, alas, won't - and in those cases there's probably going to be resentment on one side or the other. This sucks, and I'm sure it's very hard to judge in advance which camp any given person is going to fall into.

[Athos 108589]

I usually anticipate that I will receive exactly what I've paid for. If it's two hours, then I should be leaving fairly close to the two hour mark. I think, with established clients that you trust and have a good relationship with, variations on that are certainly fine and appreciated. I'd probably recommend more hesitation with first time clients.

 

I remember a very special lady, who I was a regular with for many years. We saw each other probably twice a month, usually for 2 or 3 hours. Once, towards the end of the appointment, we were laying in each other arms. I said I should go, and she said "don't worry ... I have nowhere to be and nothing else on". I stayed for another hour of absolute heaven.

 

two weeks later, appointment up, we're in the same position. I say, "I should be going". She kissed me and got up to get dressed while I showered. It was exactly as it should have been.

 

Porthos

[LeeRichards 177238]

An extended visit or perhaps some amazing and unexpected pleasures in the heat of the moment are some of life's awesome treasures ...... to be enjoyed and not expected !!!

 

Every day is a new day and not groundhog day so a new visit to an SP/MA should be a new experience and not the SAME experience. If that makes sense ;)

[roamingguy 300292]

When I see a companion, whether she has a menu or not, all I believe is she is being compensated for her time. What happens during our time together is between consenting adults. Really, boundaries and rules, as long as both the SP and client are respected, and no one is hurt, are unique to each and every encounter. And it is the lady's ability to make each encounter special and unique that makes her professional

If you have clients who enjoy their encounters with you Christy, and you are comfortable enough expanding your boundaries you shouldn't worry about whether that is professional or not. A good or great companion is one who makes each and every encounter something special and unique for her clients, and that to me is what makes a companion a professional.

A rambling

RG