Ashamed?

[Fresh start 17467]

As a hobbyist or a provider, in today's society this industry has many bad labels. I have to confess before I decided to enter this so called " immoral, dirty and unsafe" (just a few example of labels) I was on the fence. I made one of the biggest mistake someone can make I assumed that most of the stereotype were true. Over the course of my short time hobbying (about a year) I've growned to realize most of which society says about this industry is false or if there is some truth it in rare occasion.

I remember my first incall I went to, I was terrified. I kept thinking it was a trap. Going to get jumped or even arrested. I just didn't know what to expect. In my head I kept thinking this is wrong. Why, probably cause society says it is.

After my encounter with my First Lady I started questioning why its wrong. I mean we are both consenting adults. We take precautions for our safety. These providers are probably the cleanest ladies you can meet. Extreamly nice, ordinary regular people like me just trying to make a honest living. I say honest cause lets face it there not hurting anyone, stealing and some even pay taxes. So I don't see the problem.

So I started questioning, other stuff I heard and still its all been a load of crap.

They sleep with married men, well who fault is that, certainly not theirs, married men do have choices if they can't think for themselves then they shouldn't be married. Crack whores/Drug users (pardon the expression), I'm sure there may be some but I haven't meet any yet. Bottom line they are human people just like us, they're kind,compassionate,understanding. Most I've meet are smarter and more Intelectual than me, well educated. Some are aunts, sisters even mothers.

So why is it society has painted them into such a bad picture?

 

One thing I can say for sure is, as long as the woman chose this profession they have my support and respect. They've provided me with certain physical, emotional and mental needs that brought me back to a balanced stable life. I may not go out and tell people that I'm a hobbyist because many would not understand, but I'm can say for sure I'm not ashamed to be a hobbyist.

 

So how about you? Are you ashamed to be a hobbyist or provider?

I ask before answering I ask this question, what if your brother or sister or even your son or daughter provided they are of age wanted to become a hobbyist or provider, would you support them?

I know I would, if you follow certain safety precautions this is just as safe as most other jobs or hobbies.

 

Thanks for opening my eyes to a different lifestyle.

[nntsci 11076]

I'm personally not ashamed but keep my secrets for pragmatic reasons (e.g., spouse).

I didn't until recently talk about my hobby with my best friend because I didn't want to influence his marriage, but since his wife asked him for a divorce, I've been talking about my hobby a bit. He has so far only tried an erotic massage.

 

I agree about the negative stereotypes and how they were/are used to provoke fear for the hobbyist.

My first 4 experiences in this hobby were in countries that regulate legal prostitution (Nevada, USA, Austria) which eased my translation into the hobby here back home, but I had contemplated going to see a girl for slightly more than a year before actually booking a girl. I had a particular girl in mind too. The fact that she was still available after a year of looking at her ads and her reviewers were very positive suggested to me that it was not so risky... Funny thing is that the girl I wanted to see wasn't available that day, so I saw someone else (but from the same agency).

 

I would have no trouble if my sons went to escorts (considered booking my eldest son a gal for his 19th birthday... didn't because I was worried he might figure out that am involved with this hobby and my resent it vis a vis his mother), but I'm not sure how I'd react if my 24 year old daughter had a job as an escort... Funny enough I sometimes have wondered how she paid the bills for her apartment (and her boyfriend who never seems to be able to hold down a job for very long).... So I've wondered... and she's pretty.

So I've always avoided booking girls with long straight dark brown hair that even remotely looks like my daughter... just in case. LOL. There was this one gal, Jasmine, that I initially didn't book because I could not be absolutely sure... until she changed her hairstyle completely and my daughter didn't... then I booked Jasmine (nice girl).

 

Why does society hold such negative views. I don't know. Part of it is a moral uptightness inherited from Christian ideology that essentially views anything that's fun as bad and immoral. Part of its motivated by the fact that criminals are often involved in the sex trade and that diseases can be spread through sex. Ironically its the questionable legal status of the profession that allows criminals to be involved in the first place. For legally regulated business, a government can impose laws that prevent criminal actions (such as exploiting minors, coercion, drug use, pimping etc.) and legal regulation can be used to minimize the potential spread of diseases: requiring condoms with no exceptions, inspections before the session starts (they do this is Nevada presumably to check for rashes, warts and cold sores), regular health checkups, access to appropriate care for service providers etc..

 

The problem is that when it comes to the "vices" governments around the world have traditionally preferred prohibition rather than regulation.

The simple fact is, that if a business is illegal but there is a demand for those services, the business will still exist, but the government will have no control over how it operates other than their often impotent attempts to stop it.

[Guest S****r]

Interesting thread

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

So how about you? Are you ashamed to be a hobbyist or provider?

I ask before answering I ask this question, what if your brother or sister or even your son or daughter provided they are of age wanted to become a hobbyist or provider, would you support them?

I know I would, if you follow certain safety precautions this is just as safe as most other jobs or hobbies.

 

Thanks for opening my eyes to a different lifestyle.

 

I'm not ashamed of what I do: I'm very self-protective. Some of the people who are most important to me would not understand my choices nor would they believe what I might say about my experiences in this profession. I can live with them not knowing the truth about how I make my living. I would have a very hard time dealing with their judgment and probable rejection. There is no need for them to know about my work. I'm sure there are things I don't know about them, too.

 

If my daughter, my sister or a friend said that she wanted to become a paid companion, we would be having a lot of long talks after that! Because, no matter what some of us may say, after a decade in this business I know that the number of women who decide to become prostitutes because they've made a careful career plan is extremely tiny, like hen's teeth and clam feathers.

 

I often hear from women who are considering joining our profession and who want some advice. I always ask them what has happened in their lives, what has brought them to the point where they're able to consider doing this. As Cat says, "little girls don't say they want to be prostitutes when they grow up." Usually, something happens and the woman finds that she has a sudden, inescapable need to make a considerable amount of money very quickly in order to avoid dire consequences like losing her children; being unable to care for an aging, ill parent; being unable to provide for herself while she deals with a serious illness like multiple sclerosis, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome and a host of others that may make ordinary work impossible; or maybe she needs to move away from an abusive spouse or partner but has essentially no job skills or time to develop them. There are many, many reasons why women become prostitutes and nearly all the time they're sad, hard ones.

 

So, if someone I know told me she was considering becoming a paid companion, I would want to know a lot about what's really happening in her life. Maybe there's another way to get the help she needs and, if there is, I would want to ensure that it happens.

 

You say,

if you follow certain safety precautions this is just as safe as most other jobs or hobbies

That's true, if the companion is actually able to do the work. The thing is, this is a terrible profession for the great majority of women who consider it and who try it for a while. In our society, even women who enjoy sex a lot and have good self-images are not usually prepared to have sex with a large number of men over a short period of time. Women are socialized to be emotional, to value intimacy in particular ways and generally to have few intimate partners. It's not easy to go from these conventional beliefs to being on intimate terms with many men you will never really know and may never see again. Add to that, if the woman is young, much of her clientele may be men old enough to be her father or grandfather, which can raise conflicting feelings and concerns for her.

 

Most of the women who contact me are hoping that they will quickly be able to work the way I do, seeing very few clients. They're usually surprised by the amount of time, energy and hard work that it takes to build up a cadre of regulars: it can take years. In the meantime, she may need to see many, many more clients per week or month than she imagines.

 

The urgent need to make money because of a life-crisis does not improve anyone's judgment. New companions always make mistakes. Those of us who have been working for a long time make mistakes, too, though generally different ones. But at the beginning, she has to learn how to screen clients and how to maintain her privacy and safety. Most of the time, she'll start out charging too little for her time which, unfortunately, means that she's far more likely to be preyed upon by unscrupulous clients who may be very hard on her, not treat her well, manipulate her and try to cheat her while demanding an extraordinary amount from her. This is emotionally, psychologically and physically exhausting, at best.

 

For women who are real survivors, determined to take charge of their lives, to pull themselves out of whatever has happened to them, if they can keep their heads on straight, working in this industry can be a life-saver. Most companions don't last six months in our profession: it's not the right thing for them. The ones who do stay on usually have found a way to carve out their own niche, establish their own brand or style, and develop their business model with great care. We do well because we work damned hard. I know I put in many, many more hours on the computer and the telephone than I do in bed, even when every man I see that month is a returning guest, not a new client.

 

Being a paid companion has been good for me. It has enhanced my self-esteem and made me much more confident in all areas of my life. I have learned things that I would not have learned any other way and developed skills and strengths I didn't know I had. I have never, ever been exploited by anyone. I was able to take a bad situation and turn it around. I wouldn't have been able to do that with an ordinary job. I've done fairly well because of a combination of luck, hard work and patience. Others will have different experiences and outcomes. Some will have more success than I have had so far. Many others will fare less well because they're simply not suited to what this work demands of them.

 

This is all my way of saying that if a friend or family member told me that she wanted to join my profession, I would try to find other ways to deal with the crisis that has brought her to the brink of making this decision.

 

Once someone has become one of us, I will do my utmost to help her learn what she needs to know about everything required to keep her safe and healthy.

[roamingguy 300292]

I'm not ashamed of this lifestyle, but I do keep it discrete, no one, family, friends (well civilian friends) knows about this. And why, because it isn't just my privacy that matters, the companions I see value their privacy/discretion too. I was late in age coming to this lifestyle, my late 40's. Why, because just as "little girls don't say they want to be prostitutes when they grow up." I as a little boy was raised to date, find that special woman and get married...that was the "normal" way to seek female companionship if you will. No where was I told what to do when that special woman never comes along, or when she comes, well she isn't as special as I thought. Now I throw in here for discussion, and maybe everyone here wants to dismiss this, but I don't seek out prostitutes. To me, prostitutes offer sexual services, nothing more (btw not a put down). I see escorts/courtesans, ladies who offer companionship. Yes, there is a sexual dimension to the encounters, but what is provided is so much more, in some cases even friendship, than just sex. Anyhow I digress.

Being single with no kids, no sister, can't honestly answer the question if I would advise them to be a companion. My concern would be less the stigma with the lifestyle than it would their safety. I wouldn't want to see any lady in this lifestyle putting her safety/security at risk. If she followed good practices, screening/verification, etc I am guessing I'd be OK, hypothetically speaking, but again, for fact I don't know. I wouldn't suggest or encourage this as a job choice, but if freely chosen by the lady as a occupation, I wouldn't condemn the choice, I would try to offer any support/advice I can assuming my advice is sought.

Would I suggest this for brother, son etc well I don't see anything wrong with this lifestyle so yes. I would also tell him proper etiquette and to treat the lady like a gentleman should

All this coming from a guy who appreciates the companionship ladies provide me, and knows that the value of that companionship far exceeds any donation requested

Well some early morning convoluted I guess ramblings

RG

[Athos 108589]

I'm not ashamed in the least. And I think the ladies I have met through this business are some of the smartest, kindest and wonderful people I know. They are people I would have been proud to know if I had met them in any under circumstance, and I'm proud to know them in this context as well.

 

Undoubtedly, as clients, it's very important for us to think about women in this industry as having made a choice. And I think most of the women I see have made that choice, relatively freely. However, as Samantha rightly points out, one has to think about the context in which that choice was made.

 

It's also important for us to remember that there are different aspects to sex work. On CERB, we see providers who can exercise choice. They have the resources and capacity to do so. The women who participate on this board are an amazing collection of beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful and articulate people. There are sectors of this business, however, where that choice is far harder to exercise. We need to think about that, at least occassionally.

 

Finally, I sometimes wonder what I would do if my daughter, who is now 13, came home someday from university and told me she had taken up escorting. I think I'd take her aside, and have a long conversation with her about why, but mostly talk about how she was conducting her business. Is she safe, does she have a good incall location, how is she screening clients, etc., etc. Most importantly, I'd want to know that she had found a supportive community of other providers, who could help her and advise her. I'd also have to figure out a way to explain how I know so much about it.

 

Porthos

[Capital Hunter 18263]

So how about you? Are you ashamed to be a hobbyist .

 

Yes I am sometimes. My answer may shock many but remember I said sometimes. If me seeing ladies don't hurt anyone I am fine with it. I am single, very clean, good looking, I treat them like guests and dates and they leave happy and richer and use the donation to pay for their education or to better their lives or those of their family. Providing services is also a profession and like other professions some may be in it for money (well we all work because we need money to pay bills and I for one rather be in Bahamas than at work 8 hours a day so no issue there either so no issue there if they don't like their jobs as most don't like nurses cleaning patients or police dealing with criminals or cleaners cleaning dirts or ......). So WHY I said I am ashamed sometimes as everything is good and it is a win-win situation????

 

I will be ashamed if I (not knowingly) see a forced provider (forced by a pimp or extreme need for money like drug habit). Unless I have a crystal ball or supernatural power, I can never be sure to screen out 100%. And please don't jump in saying that no one on cerb is forced simply not true. Besides cerb represents less than 10% of all providers. I will be ashamed also if the provider sees me because of the need for money but in actuality she may not like me for any reason and hates her time with me. May be ashamed is not the word here for this case more like feeling bad. I will be also ashamed of myself if I see a provider and somehow be responsible for making an escort out of her (the reason I NEVER have sex with my private dancer guests or even MAs who I see). I am leaning more towards seeing private dancers and MAs these days for above reasons.

[Nathalie L 112512]

Finally, I sometimes wonder what I would do if my daughter, who is now 13, came home someday from university and told me she had taken up escorting. I think I'd take her aside, and have a long conversation with her about why, but mostly talk about how she was conducting her business. Is she safe, does she have a good incall location, how is she screening clients, etc., etc. Most importantly, I'd want to know that she had found a supportive community of other providers, who could help her and advice her. I'd also have to figure out a way to explain how I know so much about it.

 

Porthos

 

Some of my clients have children around my age. At times, the topic comes up and we discuss their futures, what they are doing, and how they are supporting themselves (financially and otherwise). When I feel particularly courageous (because it does take courage) I sometimes ask my clients if their daughters, who are around my age, were to start escorting, how they would react.

 

Their responses are often a very stark and honest portrayal of their thoughts on this industry, and the women and men within it. At times those reactions are hard for me to hear. Like I said, I sometimes need courage but feel it's a good opportunity to make a small shift, or to remind my clients that I'm also a daughter. In fact, I'm a daughter with incredibly supportive parents who understand and appreciate what I've decided to do to support myself throughout my education.

 

"I would never let my daughter do that", they sometimes say. Or "she has no reason to do that because I provide this and that for her". Sometimes it's simply an honest answer "I would find it really hard, and would want to convince her to do otherwise".

 

The comfort with someone else's daughter doing it, but not your own, is a testament to work that needs to be done. It's also a broader reflection upon us, at times. Hence the courage.

 

As RG often says, a few ramblings.

Nat xox

 

p.s. I'm really not ashamed at all. Society makes me feel like I should be ashamed but I'm smart enough to know that I'm not the problem.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Its about morals, old fashioned beliefs that society hangs onto that causes many to form negative opinions about this business, which are hypocritical and self-serving. I mean its alright and accepted for a man

to go out and sleep with umpteen women, he's a stud, but if a women were to accept many lovers paid or not we are sluts, heathens, outcasts.

Am I ashamed because I sleep with multiple partners, perhaps, I'd like to think I'm not but I don't share my profession with many so some may say I am. I have always been one to seek a lifestyle outside the norm so I'm not surprised that I ended up doing this and if I were to be very honest I was one of those little girls who told her friends that I was going to be either an actress or a prostitute. I laugh when I think about it, I was in grade 6, as I wouldn't have even known what a prostitute was, other than it probably drew gasps and horrified looks when the subject was brought up, making it something I wanted to be, lol. Even then I must have wanted to shock people, to be different:)

No matter the reasons why many of us decide to do it, which are varied, many, and for a lot of us not understood, we do and do it with pride and we deserve respect, appreciation and the realization that its time to consider this as just another business, different than most but still a business and one that should be appreciated and respected. It allows it operators to be creative, caring, loving, responsible, tax paying citizens and in a lot of cases nicer individuals than you'd find employed elsewhere. But this occupation involves sex, so it will always cause some to wrinkle their brow and to squirm in their seats, but they do when sex is brought up in their personal lives, lol, so what do you expect! There are judgemental prudes everywhere and they will always exist, especially in government! :)

[roamingguy 300292]

A couple more thoughts popped in my head

First, there is an underlying societal belief that it is OK for men to have sex, and like sex, and have sex with as many women as possible. As Cristy points out, a man is a stud having multiple partners

But a woman having multiple partners, well she's labelled a slut, heathen outcast. Somewhere in society's make up is this belief that men can enjoy sex but women should hate sex. It's fun for men, dirty for women. Even in marriage, for men it's their entitlement as a husband, but a chore, obligation for the wife

Second point, this profession allows ladies to pay their bills, be it groceries, rent, car payment, raising a child, university, not to mention taxes etc. What is to be ashamed of about that? Not to mention besides providing an income for a lady, it provides companionship, even for a few hours for a man, it is mutually beneficial

Third to me it is about companionship. It isn't sex for money, it is paid companionship. I enjoy being with a lady, whether it is sitting down having a conversation, getting to know one another over drinks, or dinner (or breakfast) out, and yes, the sexual side, all the more enjoyable with a lady you spent time getting to know. And I like spending time getting to know a lady, that's why I like multi hour encounters

Anyhow, a couple more ramblings for whatever they are worth

RG

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I'm not ashamed in the slightest.

 

WHen people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them, I'm an escort. My family knows, my friends know.

 

When I tell someone what I do, and they think they can leer at me in response, they learn quickly that being an escort does NOT mean they can touch/grope/be inappropriate with me. I am a woman who loves what she does, and who knows that everything has it's context. As such, there ARE times when I won't say what I do, because I dont' want it to all become about me. For instance, at my sisters upcoming wedding, I will not tell people what I do. Because, unfortunately, if I did, I know there would be gossip/stares/sneers, and I would be mortified if I caused anything like that on my sisters day. Which unfortunately would happen if I was honest.

 

Society forces me to be dishonest sometimes, but for the most part, I am welcomed and respected when I am able to be honest. My friends responded with shock, but quickly the shock turned to understanding, and in most cases, respect.

[Fresh start 17467]

I cannot seem to figure out how to take certain quotes on an iPhone so please bare with me.

 

Samantha thank you so much for sharing a side I could not. I agree, the path leading to this industry can taint one decision to become a provider. Also yes this choice of career has its challenges and is often a short career which can take a toll on a woman. I too would like anyone getting into the industry understand the risks challenges and what it takes. Like almost any career choice you should take the time to fully understand what you are about to embark into. For sure, you cannot predict what will happen, but I would definitely suggest they consult a well established person like you. For I am only capable of providing moral support and for them to know I accept you no matter what you're career is as long as you stay safe. (Drug free would be stressed a lot by me) no offence to anyone but I'm a firmly against drugs, it changes a person so much.

 

To many others who value discretion, of course being discreet doesn't make it shameful it make our life's easier without having to justify ourself to probably people who could not understand or perhaps simply because you don't want to change your relationship with them. This doesn't make us ashamed, well me I'm not.

 

I do not know what it's like outside this community since I haven't seen many woman. But if this is the best I am very lucky then, cause from those I've met or those I've spoken to online have been nothing less than extraordinary.

 

RG I think my message got cut off but you took the words right out of my mouth I couldn't not of said it better. You don't see it as prostitution, and you seek companionship, I hope there is more gents like us that see it that way. Don't get me wrong I enjoy sex but the company is way more meaningful to me.

 

To the ladies I've seen and know me, you've helped me so much emotional and psychologically and I'm grateful. These woman have been extraordinary, amazingly smart and understanding, there is even one who helped me get through personal issues and has been exceptionally supportive.

[Guest S**a*Q]

Not ashamed. I love sex, money, people and myself. People who think this is a shameful job need to take a step back and examine their own personal hangups with sex, not the fact that I have none to deal with and that I'm happy in my hoo-kery skin ;)

[Mister T 45020]

I'm far from being ashamed. I'm actually proud to have met some of the most wonderful people around, people i might not have met otherwise through my circle of friends or work, for instance.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

RG I think my message got cut off but you took the words right out of my mouth I couldn't not of said it better. You don't see it as prostitution, and you seek companionship, I hope there is more gents like us that see it that way. Don't get me wrong I enjoy sex but the company is way more meaningful to me..

 

I couldn't agree more and very happy to see more gents thinking that way and more providers advertising their encounters as dates. I remember when I brought up this subject and stating my views that I see my encounters with providers as Dates rather than pay for sex, at that time (in 2010) many did not agree and some even were highly critical of me and my view and posting those views too. Now I am very glad to see a change of old perception.

 

Very interesting thread for those who were not around at the time to scan through it to see how much perception has changed since then for BETTER I would say for sure.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=29830&highlight=dates

 

 

As another reason why I am not ashamed when encounter is clean and voluntarily is that my family is fully aware of this. In fact in summer time when I have a family visitor, I take her to a hotel for a few hours so that I have my paid date companion guest at home and she knows exactly who I will have for date.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I'm far from being ashamed. I'm actually proud to have met some of the most wonderful people around, people i might not have met otherwise through my circle of friends or work, for instance.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself Mr. T !! I feel lucky to have ventured into this world we live in ! I have met wonderful people and feel alive again :) Life is good !

 

 

Not ashamed. I love sex, money, people and myself. People who think this is a shameful job need to take a step back and examine their own personal hangups with sex, not the fact that I have none to deal with and that I'm happy in my hoo-kery skin ;)

 

Awesome as always SMQ !!!

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I am not nor will I ever be ashamed of what I do. On the contrary! I am incredibly proud of what I do.

 

I am a beautiful, confident, sexy woman who (really!) enjoys sex, sensuality, human connection, seduction, passion, lust, intensity, experiences... LIFE! Being a provider affords me all of this and more.

 

I look forward to each and every day that I work, knowing that I have some wonderful clients who I genuinely enjoy spending my time with. I leave each client with a feeling of pride and accomplishment, knowing that both of us have gained something from our time together far beyond an orgasm.

 

In fact, I may feel a little selfish at times, as I take as much if not more from my time with clients than they do. Emotional, mental and physical connection helps me thrive.

 

Nothing could ever make me ashamed.

 

Further to that, and what some others have said, I keep my being an SP to myself. A select couple people in my life know, but the rest aren't ready. They still haven't figured out that sex is a human need, no different than eating or drinking water - and is not meant to be denied.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Not ashamed but I will confess to feeling embarrassed about my participation at times.

 

Peace

MG

[drlove 37204]

I'd like to divide my commentary into two parts: First off, having been a hobbyist for 13 + years, I will say that I am not ashamed in any way, shape or form about what I do. After all, why should I be? I feel that society at large has been fooled by convention - that is, they tend to buy into the accepted (and expected!) notions of how one ought to behave - most often in a "morally upright" fashion.

 

I'm here to tell you that I stand up proudly and unabashedly when it comes to my participation in the hobby. I have met the most incredible people, and have had a myriad of unforgettable times that most people can only dream of. Once I realized how misguided all the stereotypical views surrounding this industry actually were, it was as though I had been given the keys to the kingdom, so to speak.

 

Participation here is all encompassing - it offers companionship for the mind, body and soul - in a word, it is cathartic, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. More than that, it's taught me to appreciate a certain way of thinking / outlook on life. In other words, I was made privy to the hobby by being able to decide for myself - to look beyond the rhetoric and see the industry as a whole for what it really is; not for what people make it out to be, and for that I will be forever grateful.

 

Now, for a decidedly different spin on things - Here is the part which truly saddens me: My last girlfriend happened to be a former escort. I didn't find out until we had been dating for a few weeks. Anyway, one night we were lying in bed and she told me. I was actually elated - one, because I completely respect any lady's decision to work in the industry, but most importantly, I thought it would give me the opportunity to lay my cards on the table, as it were. I've always hungered for a relationship in which I could be completely honest with someone - devoid of any hang-ups, compunctions or trepidations. I thought that if anyone would understand, it would be her.

 

To my utter dismay, I encountered the same backlash I would have expected from a civilian - it was akin to the pot calling the kettle black, as from her perspective, it was ok to do what she did, because she had her reasons, whereas I should be ashamed for my actions since I had other "alternatives". I was completely taken aback and appalled. I hadn't anticipated that type of a reaction from her. Then again, a previous girlfriend had made a comment too, about how she could never respect sexworkers - no doubt attributable to an inherent bias she possessed. In any case, it made me come to the sad realization that it would be very difficult, if not impossible to ever have a completely open and honest relationship with someone - not because of any personal flaw, but because the other party cannot stand to hear the truth, and will not take the time to listen.

[futileresistenz 28253]

Quite an amazing story, drlove, and one that shows that the set of problems around sex and sex work are very complex and seem almost intractable.

 

I absolutely don't feel any shame in participating in this lifestyle. I have met some of the most wonderfully articulate, smart, gorgeous, clean, drug-free, caring, respectful ladies who take meticulous care of themselves in my short stint thus far. I would be proud to be seen with them anywhere. IMO, discretion in not telling friends, co-workers and family about these activities is prudent, and if there weren't the widespread artificial stigma, we wouldn't feel that need to be secretive so much even to our closest confidant(e)s.

 

Why feel ashamed? This is the most natural thing that the wisdom of the universe has conspired to gift the human race with, yet many of us just don't know how to deal with it in a healthy fashion. Others wish to repress us and make us feel it is wrong, just to control and curb this most organic of expressions of love and caring for one another. The result is fear, ignorance, and, well, sometimes, through the soup of emotions and powerlessness, violence. Sadly it will take major efforts to change the prevalent attitudes and stigma surrounding sex and sex work.

 

May I suggest an article reviewing a very pro-sex-work movie (Warning! Spoiler alert) It is rather long, but definitely worth the read! It is very much along my own line of thinking.

 

https://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=133685

 

FR

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Ashamed? No. I don't think we should be ashamed about something so much a part of our nature as sex but it's hard for people to overcome a long history of sexual shame, mostly perpetrated by religions.

 

Conflicted? Yes. I do struggle with my actions and sometimes worry that I might be having sex with someone who really does not want to be doing this work. That really concerns me, to the point that I usually prefer seeing someone who has been in the business for years or has a regular job outside this business. In those cases, I tell myself that they wouldn't be doing this work if they didn't really want to.

 

I know you ladies don't like us guys inquiring about your lives outside this realm, but satisfying this curiosity reassures me that this truly is mutual consent and not someone's dire need to survive bad life circumstances. If I know an SP only see's a few people a week or has another career, I can believe they are doing this for their own enjoyment or it fulfills them in some other way. That knowledge goes a long way to easing my internal conflict. There are many layers to this topic but I will stick to just this one for now.

 

To answer the OP's other question, I would do what I could to keep my daughter from doing this work if it was for financial reasons solely. Same as I would if she wanted to be a lawyer solely for the money. I would tell her there is more to life.

[Tallguy007 4172]

To answer the OP's other question, I would do what I could to keep my daughter from doing this work if it was for financial reasons solely. Same as I would if she wanted to be a lawyer solely for the money. I would tell her there is more to life.

 

A lawyer? I think if my daughter wanted to go into law, I might lie about it and say she was a stripper or something. A lawyer! the shame!

 

;)

[Fresh start 17467]

A lawyer? I think if my daughter wanted to go into law, I might lie about it and say she was a stripper or something. A lawyer! the shame!

 

;)

 

Lol at least sp are honest about screwing you, and you leave happy.

[Guest D***el B***e]

I have to admit I have read some but not all posts in the thread but I just wanted to drop my 2-cents. I'm not ashamed one bit at being a hobbiest, not anymore than the MA or SP I see should be ashamed. Although I am in a committed relationship the reasons for me doing this are personal and some of you are aware of them. It is not something I wish to broadcast, it is a personal choice. Yes, I admit I took all the nerves I had to make that first appointment ... I may have felt guilt at the time, but it was and still is the only way I can get an up-close, personal, and uninhibited intimate relationship with a woman.

[Claire Heavens 51771]

Guilt is a wasted emotion. Live. let live.