Just had to vent....

[t*****7**3 146]

i just wanted to voice my frustration with SP's no showing on me. I keep hearing about hobbyist no showing but in my recent personal experiences it has been the Providers no showing on me. A few weeks ago i setup an appointment on a Monday for the friday over the phone i asked for an early evening appointment (7 o'clock) she then told me that she would be leaving for Montreal that night and could we do it sooner, at that point i couldn't so she offered to change her travel plans. I was thinking great she seemed nice on the phone and willing to change her plans just to see me.

 

So morning of i called her to confrim she tells me everything is still good. Then later that day my meeting got canceled (big surprise a late friday meeting got canceled) So at around 3 i called to offer to move my appointment forward an hour to six she told me "that's great and it works out really well for me." So i go to where i'm suppose to call her from at 6 give her a ring, nothing, i try again in 10 min nothing, i go sit in a coffee shop and try again nothing. After about an hour i get a call from a restricted number telling that 'x' has left for montreal and will be unable to take any calls until Monday. WTF

 

I had done my research, this provider is a well reviewed here on Cerb and still to have this happen, to get stood up last minute. What is my avenue to complain about this, if i no show on someone i get blacklisted here on Cerb but a provider can pull a last minute no show on me and there is no where for me to posting a warning to warn my fellow hobbyist about this?

 

P.S i will not be giving the name of the provider out of respect for the site, so please don't PM asking me.

[etasman2000 15994]

I feel for you.

 

The description you had gave the impression the Provider had an emergency and had to leave on short notice. Even with a pre-arrange trip something might/could come up that needed her attention immediately.

 

Give her the benefit of the doubt, especially since she is well recommended, call her and see if she would make it up to you (apologize, explain the circumstances etc)

[t*****7**3 146]

I hear what you are saying Eastman and i wish i could give the benefit of the doubt, but i know she was going to Montreal to work she posted that she would be available about 2 and half hours after our appointment would have ended. Plus how hard is a phone call or a text message. And fact i got a call from someone else telling she was gone until Sunday. I'm not going to believe that she had to leave for some emergency.

[Andee 220524]

It was tacky of her not to text or give you a quick call, emergency or no emergency, but if someone died for example, the last thing I would feel obligated to do is call a client back - my mind would not be thinking of that - so please give her the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully she will contact you and offer to make it up to you somehow.

 

Also, the only no shows we usually mention are guys who may have wasted or taken up a lot of our time without proper notice for cancelling or cancelling at last minute (but even then, the fact that someone calls is better than not calling at all). I consider that part of doing this business. But luckily I have more "shows" than "no shows".

 

As much as you are annoyed, it should not be a reflection on all SPs as the norm.

[Annessa 22743]

wait till you hear from the horses mouth what happened, then you can see if you trust her answer but until then as many said here give her the benefit of the doubt. perhaps even after you hear her excuse give her the benefit of the dout...and let future dealings decide if this is a pattern and she's just not willing put in the same amount of effort as other SPs in Ottawa would probably gladly do.

 

if you are too soured by the situation, give it time, perhaps try your chances with another worthy lady...but above all, dont swear off ottawa as being terrible for no shows, as ..well..shit happens sometimes (she should have called you tho) and if it wasn't indeed an emergency, there are plenty of other attentive and reliable ladies out there

[t*****7**3 146]

This experience has only soured opinion of one girl in ottawa, i truly believe that there are plenty of great ladies in ottawa right now. Actually i have been waiting for you annessa to post a incall time that works for me, for what seems like to long (been crushing on you for awhile). So i'm not turned off hobbying and the reason I'm on a short break is because my schedule has gotten crazy again my job is anything but nine to five.

 

Part of my frustration is how powerless i feel, my interpretation of the rules prevents from posting her name saying "'so and so' pulled a no show on me be warned". I also think that sending it privately in a PM is no better, that is just gossip. I also don't think there should be a place for me name her publicly even though i feel i have a legitimate reason if there such a place existed it would just be abused by dissatifitied customser trying to ruin the reputation of a provider. I love the fact that here on CERB we are encouraged to stay positive this is why i don't belong to the other 'erbs'. It is my belief in the system conflicting with what i want to do that is frustrating.

[jman47 233]

wait till you hear from the horses mouth what happened, then you can see if you trust her answer but until then as many said here give her the benefit of the doubt. perhaps even after you hear her excuse give her the benefit of the dout...and let future dealings decide if this is a pattern and she's just not willing put in the same amount of effort as other SPs in Ottawa would probably gladly do.

 

if you are too soured by the situation, give it time, perhaps try your chances with another worthy lady...but above all, dont swear off ottawa as being terrible for no shows, as ..well..shit happens sometimes (she should have called you tho) and if it wasn't indeed an emergency, there are plenty of other attentive and reliable ladies out there

 

Taxman,

I do agree with A...things do happen. But the provider should be professional and courteous enough to attempt to explain. The series of events you describe does sound extremely frustrating. Sounds as if there were ample opportunity to change.

That said, if you intend to repeat or see her, attempt to communicate. If not move on as there is nothing you can do.

[shymale 10234]

i know what you mean taxman, my first ever experience with and sp was with a very well recommendent lady here on cerb(she as now quit the business). we exchange a couple of e-mail, set a date and time. i was really excited, when the day came i had to call her 30 minute before the encounter to get her room number, i call and she never answered, she never called to explain. i was frustated. a week later she wrote on cerb to say she was sorry to all who she cancelled on, said she was quitting the business. don't let this stop you from hobbying, there's a lot of wonderfull ladies in ottawa.

[Guest f***2f***]

Yep this has happened to me a few times too and it is very frustrating. dummpy says always have a plan B (a short notice girl) but sometimes that falls through too.

It's just bad business practice not to phone or email even after the fact to apologize and offer some token...like a free half hour or something...it's just good business sense but unfortunately there are some who have none.

 

I don't buy the emergency thing either taxman.

I had an outcall a year ago that we were texting back and forth right up to an hour before the date and she never showed, nor emailed or texted an apology and when I emailed and texted for an explanation she never replied...that's just rude!

My motto is the same as if I get rotten service from a store or a contractor...i don't patronize the business again (no matter how hot they look or well reviewed they are).

[Guest S***e]

Unfortunately, these things do happen for a variety of reasons during the course of this hobby and it happens to both SPs and clients as we all know. Until I'm in the door and have dropped the envelope I don't consider the encounter to be a sure thing. That's just the way things are in an unregulated industry. I don't like it when it happens to me and I have yet to do it to an SP. That said, as Annessa points out, "shit happens." To which I would like to add, don't take it personally, suck it up and move on.

 

Old Spike

[travelfreak 600]

I had it happen to me too, it sucks right there and then but I had to move on. I never got an explanation why I was stood up on an appointment that was scheduled for a week. BUT, something must have come up and she had to cancel.

[buggernot 588]

I try to approach these situations with as little conjecture as possible. As stated previously, the date's not official until you're actually in the same room together. If there's a cancellation, I don't bother wasting any mental energy on whether or not the excuse was valid or truthful it just is what it is - a cancellation. If there's a pattern that follows, that gets handled like anything else in my life personal or professional...I don't bother with that individual anymore. Not worth my time and there's plenty of others out there that are.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest S***e]

Exactly...I follow the path of least resistance.

 

 

 

I try to approach these situations with as little conjecture as possible. As stated previously, the date's not official until you're actually in the same room together. If there's a cancellation, I don't bother wasting any mental energy on whether or not the excuse was valid or truthful it just is what it is - a cancellation. If there's a pattern that follows, that gets handled like anything else in my life personal or professional...I don't bother with that individual anymore. Not worth my time and there's plenty of others out there that are.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Mister C 1725]

I hear ya. Twice I made an arrangement to meet with a popular SP here and both times my appointment was cancelled at the last minute. No reason was given and I know I wont try to meet them again. Her loss. lol

[Parker 19761]

I hear ya. Twice I made an arrangement to meet with a popular SP here and both times my appointment was cancelled at the last minute. No reason was given and I know I wont try to meet them again. Her loss. lol

 

Depending on the circumstances, I don't think an explanation is always necessary.

 

Sometimes things come up in our personal lives such as periods, family, friends or other things that we may not feel like sharing, especially with a client we have yet to meet.

[d*mm*y 887]

I think this may the 50th time I mention this, have a plan B! It is difficult to balance things all the time (more like juggle) and it is not uncommon to have cancellations or no shows, I have been a bad guy with this lately to and have to bounce things around and have not always been able to keep appointments. It goes both ways. Number one rule have fun :D if it stops being fun leave the game.

[coachg 388]

I think this may the 50th time I mention this, have a plan B! It is difficult to balance things all the time (more like juggle) and it is not uncommon to have cancellations or no shows, I have been a bad guy with this lately to and have to bounce things around and have not always been able to keep appointments. It goes both ways. Number one rule have fun :D if it stops being fun leave the game.

 

Here, here Dummpy.....once again your vast wisdom comes to the forefront....he is absolutely right....have a plan B and when it stops being fun..pull the plug...damn right man!!

[Guest f***2f***]

Depending on the circumstances, I don't think an explanation is always necessary.

 

Sometimes things come up in our personal lives such as periods, family, friends or other things that we may not feel like sharing, especially with a client we have yet to meet.

 

I don't think you have to share circumstances but if you leave someone hanging it is just good manners to text or call and say...."sorry can't make it" To just not show up and blow someone off is rude imho.

[Annessa 22743]

IIf there's a cancellation, I don't bother wasting any mental energy on whether or not the excuse was valid or truthful it just is what it is - a cancellation. If there's a pattern that follows, that gets handled like anything else in my life personal or professional...I don't bother with that individual anymore. Not worth my time and there's plenty of others out there that are.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

well said, dont let a one time cancellation put you off about someone. wait to see if her behaviour is a pattern....although I have been in a situation recently where I have had to cut off someone because once I postponed and used another day he offered for me to see him, but from that point on it was bad timing on both our parts.

 

he took it very personally and said "you probably dont even want to see me anymore" told me I was "blowing him off" ( and not in the good way) ....sometimes timing is terrible but if you let it get to you or have already Or there is a repeat patter with little explanation its probably best to move on to another lady....as no matter how much you prefer this one SP you'll have a certain resentment there...intamacy wont survive that environment, no matter how warranted your anger is....find someone who'll respect you enough to make it up to you

[Guest S***e]

I agree Annessa and as I stated previously cancellations should not be taken personally. I don't get my shorts in a knot over things like this and it's best just to set it aside, move on and enjoy someone else's company.

 

Old Spike

[jerican 657]

I am definitely not saying it happened in this case but I wonder if any last minute cancellations ever happen because the SP gets a bad vibe from the person she is about to meet? I mean letting someone into your home or hotel opens a huge risk and I personally would be very cautious about this.

 

I know some guys have bailed on meetings due to bad vibes about setups, environment or last minute changes...I imagine the women on here go through the same thoughts quite often...just a thought...ladies have you ever felt weird about an encounter and canceled in the past?

[fortunateone 156618]

I am definitely not saying it happened in this case but I wonder if any last minute cancellations ever happen because the SP gets a bad vibe from the person she is about to meet? I mean letting someone into your home or hotel opens a huge risk and I personally would be very cautious about this.

 

I know some guys have bailed on meetings due to bad vibes about setups, environment or last minute changes...I imagine the women on here go through the same thoughts quite often...just a thought...ladies have you ever felt weird about an encounter and canceled in the past?

 

I have heard of this before, where the sp gets a weird vibe, etc, but imo that make it even MORE important that she pick up the phone, or text away, whatever to make that cancellation call. It is far worse to leave it hanging like that. In the end, he continues to try to book appts, she continues to try to avoid him.

 

While this is never a great ending to any planned meeting, I usually manage to avoid it altogether by only allowing appts to be considered "confirmed" when the client is actually physically ready to come over, has spoken to me on the phone to say so, and we both agree that he should head on over lol. If we had spoken before, then I would give out part of the address. I always always assume he is not going to show up, as you can see.

 

As much as many guys like to point out how "often" sps no show or cancel last minute on them, I can bet you real money that he doesn't get no showed on anywhere near as often as the majority of sps do the majority of the time. Even with final notice confirmation calls, guys still end up not showing up -- and I am in a nice building in a nice neighbourhood lol. If I counted all the guys who call either the day before, earlier in the day or right at 12:30 and tell me positively absolutely they are coming by at 1pm today, I can honestly say that I get at least one no show, no cancellation call, client each and every day, if not more.

 

:!:

[Annessa 22743]

I am definitely not saying it happened in this case but I wonder if any last minute cancellations ever happen because the SP gets a bad vibe from the person she is about to meet? I mean letting someone into your home or hotel opens a huge risk and I personally would be very cautious about this.

 

I know some guys have bailed on meetings due to bad vibes about setups, environment or last minute changes...I imagine the women on here go through the same thoughts quite often...just a thought...ladies have you ever felt weird about an encounter and canceled in the past?

 

I have been long in the works of properly wording my new website and this is a point that I plan on clearly stating in my rules and regulations.

 

I plan to make specific in wording that if a situaltion or location upon arrival raises red flags for an escort she has every right to back out...this is tricky to word to a client about said decision after the fact, but the right clients will respect your decision (most likely after going through the anger and annoyance of disagreeing) the ones who belittle you for your given right to see only those you feel safe seeing are not respectful clients.

 

I will say tho that giving a proper and political and brief explanation to said client that you (the SP) no longer feel comfortable going on said call is definitely an explanation a client deserves.

[etasman2000 15994]

I will say tho that giving a proper and political and brief explanation to said client that you (the SP) no longer feel comfortable going on said call is definitely an explanation a client deserves.

 

Did you mean polite ?

 

I agree I rather be told from you, the SP, isn't comfortable with me or the situation. This is good feedback for future meetings in general.

 

So far my lack of tats, shifty eyes and larger girth have not been an issue :smile: