What is appropriate...?

[jumpinm 367]

So I am pretty sure most other CERB members here also browse a few other more anonymous sites to see the local postings. I noticed on one of those sites recently the immaturity of a few ladies who bash each other on the regular...

A few of the comments started talking about STIs and one even seemed to post as a fake client saying they picked up an STI from one of the girls... anyway, that is not my question.

 

I am wondering from all that drama, what is appropriate to ask or expect of a SP with regards to their STI testing and other precautions they take? I know someone is going to post that you should ask what you want to know and if they won't answer, then don't see them, but from an SP perspective, if someone asks, are you offended? are you happy they are being cautious? Would you even bring a test result if someone asked you to prove your last test?

 

This entire SP world is pretty mysterious to most of us, so I am just looking for some thoughts from SPs (and also hobbiests) about what seems to me like a mostly unspoken area of the encounter.

Thanks

[Guest S****r]

Well, the world is full of all different types of people, of course, but generally speaking, escorts are usually those of the population who get tested the most frequently. Everyone I know gets tested on some regular basis. In my case it is every three months. So in actuality, one is more likely to pick up an STI from a girl he picks up in a bar than he is from a professional escort. Remember, for an escort, it is a very serious issue. It impacts not just our health, but our ability to work, and of course to survive.

 

However, I suspect asking an escort that question is pointless because those who may not get tested frequently are likely to say that they do in order to not lose a potential customer. Also remember, the test is only current up to the moment that the test was taken. The very next time that a person has sex again, that test is basically null and void, because it is possible that one picks something up with that very next person. So the test can only assure one that as of that last date (on the test) that person had no STIs.

 

Best and safest bet is to be very proactive with your own health and safety standards and to frequent girls who are professionals in the business and not the fly-by-nights who jump into the business temporarily for some quick cash.

 

My 2 cents worth!

p.s. If you want to demystify the life of an SP a bit, try reading My Secret Diary on my website.

[Brad 49548]

Hi jumpinm, Cerb definitely offers a better level of discourse, doesn't it?

 

As for your question, I think this is one of those topics where actions speak louder than words.

 

I wouldn't presume to speak for everyone, but it strikes me that asking an SP about their testing habits is more likely to insult than impress. Instead, read someone's recommendations, message back and forth a bit, do some research. Your impression from that is likely to tell you much more than a question about testing habits. It seems to me unlikely that anyone is going to straightforward answer that no, they aren't safe, or know and admit they're positive for something. And as Summer points out, a test is only valid until the next encounter. Given this, what does asking the question actually gain you?

 

In the end protecting yourself is more about you choosing to engage in safe sex practices. And of course hobbyists shouldn't assume that testing is only something SP's should get done.

 

There's a thread you might be interested in where people discussed questions not to ask an SP, and I think this one popped up a few times in it:

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=97946

[jumpinm 367]

I think even if the test itself doesn't show anything beyond that day, it proves that someone is taking care of themselves and taking necessary measures to ensure their safety as well as the safety of their hobbyists.

 

While I agree with all your points, I dont think a SP should be insulted by the question.

One cannot assume everyone takes care of themselves so, asking is at least one method to start that conversation.

 

And fly-by-night shouldnt be anyone's style.. too many devoted beautiful SPs to waste time on those quick cash ladies

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

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[roamingguy 300292]

The only person's sexual health to worry about is your own

JMHO but it is rude to ask a lady about her testing and whether she is D&D free

just as it would be rude for a lady to ask a prospective client if he gets tested and is D&D

free

Funny do these issues get raised as much in the civilian dating world,or in marriage/CL relationships...likely no yet STIs/STDs exist in the civilian world and likely an equal risk there too

RG

[jumpinm 367]

I would think that as one person already mentioned, the likelihood of picking up an STI from someone you met at a bar is greater than the likelihood of picking one up from an established SP.

IMHO its not a matter of being rude, from either party. But I am the type of person that enjoys an open dialogue and I don't take things as insulting in most cases.

 

For the record, I have never asked, and doubt I ever would, just seeing some insults thrown back and forth made me think, would a SP keep seeing clients if they knew they were passing something along.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I'm not insulted at being asked. It does however, give me a clue into the type of person they are. The responses I usually get when I ask them when they were last tested is usually "well, I don't need to get tested, my girlfriend got tested last week, and she's clean, so I don't need to be tested" or "I don't have any symptoms, so I know I'm good to go".

 

Usually those that say these things will also add "I don't like condoms, so can we do it bare back?".

 

Great pre-screening in my opinion.

[cometman 35115]

Omg.......there is no right question and answer. It's not like Star Trek where none of us have gone where no man has gone before.

Research, trust, and CERB. On top of that, play safe and smart.

I liken this lifestyle to flying a plane. The instructor has as much to lose as you......their life.

[CristyCurves 169032]

To address your first point, its not only sps bashing one another some of those bashers are men as well. I had my share and spent a lot on a lawyer to find out who, what, when, where . With some success:). Yes I do know who was posting stupidity, because that's what it boils down to, but now what? Because I can go into court and charge these freaks for bullying, slander, and other actions if I chose, but then the probability of the nonsense being played out in the news and not to mention the huge cost justified my decision to let the freaks be. I knew before hand who one was:) Anyway, most level headed people realize that type of posting is done out of jealousy, stupidity and other nonsensical actions:) and is to be ignored, as the many supportive emails I received attested. Sadly though its not only that site that houses people like that as a couple of them are here:) But to more positive points, as far as asking questions concerning testing, I wouldn't mind being asked, and would answer that I do get regular checkups. However that doesn't prove you are sti free and by that I mean I , you, he, she, could contract something the day, or two or three before your test and that wouldn't show on that report. When anyone has more than one partner they have a greater risk of contracting something, it only takes one time with one person. So when hobbying and providing you have to use common sense, safety and know that its a possibility, just as when driving a car, you have the possibility of being hit, or being in an accident, you just have to drive witth care:) Most of us know when someone is asking a question out of concern, politeness and with seriousness:)so when that happens and I have that feeling I don't mind answering.