TheOptimist 110 Report post Posted June 5, 2013 This is not the usual request for SP recommendations. I've familiarized myself with the search function :-) My question is more along the line of how to approach the encounter. Neither of us have any experience in this regard. Our request is for any pointers from either side of the fence. Couples who have experience and could shed some light on the process would be greatly appreciated. The same holds true for any SP who could help hold our hands. We are talking about the initial contact to get acquainted and discuss boundaries/expectations. We would both like this to be sensual and seductive. My wife is involved in the selection and her main concern is feeling comfortable with the person. So is any of this unreasonable, should we reset our expectations? Trying to avoid a faux pas and to have an enjoyable experience so we'll be able to make this an ongoing part of our lifestyle. Thanks in advance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted June 6, 2013 A request for couples is not an unusual request, so don't feel shy about that. The key issue for the best success is communication. Contact the woman you both feel is a potential good match. Let her know exactly what you are both looking for, and she will let you know if she feels she is able to do so. If she says yes, then ask more specific details. She will let you know what she is and isn't comfortable with. If she isn't comfortable with what you are looking for, just say thank you, and move on to another potential match. If you are in Ottawa, there are lots of us here who are open to this. Good luck! and Have fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted June 6, 2013 We are talking about the initial contact to get acquainted and discuss boundaries/expectations.We would both like this to be sensual and seductive. My wife is involved in the selection and her main concern is feeling comfortable with the person. So is any of this unreasonable, should we reset our expectations? Trying to avoid a faux pas and to have an enjoyable experience so we'll be able to make this an ongoing part of our lifestyle. First off, to both of you, a warm welcome to Cerb and this lifestyle :) From my personal point of view, I always prefer when the initial contact is made by the lady and that most exchanges are done between the two of us so we can discuss, freely, HER preferences, boundaries, expectations and what would make HER feel comfortable with a ménage à trois, etc.. especially for a first time experience. When the lady of the couple feels 100% at ease with what about is about to take place, I find the chances for a successful encounter is that much greater... and when the lady of the couple is having fun, everybody else is too! :) Once a few emails have been exchanged, there are a few ways to go about increasing that comfort level and open communication; a phone call can always be scheduled, a social informal date with the lady (or both partners) can be a stepping stone to the intimate encounter, a first time rendez-vous can be a combination of both social an intimate time... I guess it is all up to both of you and the companion of your choice. Good luck to you both and have fun! :) xox 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *l**e Report post Posted June 6, 2013 I fully agree with the previous poster. I have been in this situation with my date and either a provider or even just a lady we wanted to be with. I find the smartest move and the best way to ensure everything goes smoothly is to let the my lady run the show. I let her pick the girl, establish the boundaries/rules in advance and discuss them thoroughly, and during the encounter, she controls everything; pace, rules, actions...everything. In my experience this is the only way to avoid any and all conflict. When in the moment, I tended to focus my efforts and energy towards my date and only interacted with the other woman when directed to; that's the way it worked best for us. have fun and good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted June 6, 2013 Threesome situations where two of the parties are in a relationship can be complicated. Feelings can be hurt, insecurities can surface and the evil green eyed monster can show its face most unexpectedly. When a male/female couple are seeking the services of a provider it is best to let the female decide whom she would be most comfortable with. She may want to even create a bit of rapport via email or phone conversations in order to make the experience as desirable as the fantasy. Personally, I would never entertain a couple unless I had been in contact with the lady to ensure that I understood HER ground rules and comfort levels (often very different than his). Good luck and I am sure you will have a blast! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheOptimist 110 Report post Posted June 6, 2013 Thanks for the quick replies. Very appreciated. The consensus seems to be to let her drive. That's the path we have been going down so glad we started out on the right foot. Glad to hear it's not that unusual and the kind open replies go a long way to making us feel more comfortable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites