My first submissive experience

[piano8950 32577]

This was a long time coming for me - oddly enough, that's true in more than one way. I've always been a bdsm switch, and for those unfamiliar, it basically means someone who likes dominating, and being dominated. I've had a couple of bdsm experiences before, but would probably consider them lightweight sensual sessions. Just a couple of clueless kids fooling around, and having lots of fun in the process.

 

But yesterday for the first time, I gave up control, and let someone call the shots and I'm so glad I did (Allison Elm). I would probably consider yesterday's session to be on the much lighter side, but it was a great introduction for me. All I had asked for was some restraints, sensory deprivation and a lot of teasing; during the session, a little bit of nipple play got introduced and was welcomed (calling it nipple torture just seems a bit extreme).

 

So, I find myself on her bed, hands tied above my head, feet tied to the corners, blindfolded, and very much at her mercy. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and most importantly, desired. I know the last one can be a bit puzzling to some, but since I was unable to move, or pretty much do anything except lie there and look sexy :P, it was all her. None of it felt mechanical, like she was checking of some boxes, but completely random. Before the blindfold came on, I saw her with a mischievous grin. After I lost seeing privileges, my only useful sense was touch, and thus all attention went on that. She focused on different parts of my body, each seemed to entertain her in it's own unique way. It felt as she got bored with one part, she just helped herself to another, and the feeling of your body being used to please someone else as some sort of sex toy...well it may be wrong because of gender equality issues and all that, but who cares, it feels fucking amazing (sorry for the language).

 

And then there were three rules:

1) Always say please and thank you

2) I would have to refer to her as "Miss Allison"

3) I'd have to ask permission to cum - But prior to starting, we didn't specifically say if that would happen or not, so if she never said yes, well I was tied up, so I couldn't really do anything about it

 

Now the first rule was simple. I live by please and thank you. It's just politeness.

 

The second rule was a bit of a fun challenge for me. To me, submitting to someone takes great confidence in my own self worth, and that's why I haven't done it since now. Given my own background, this was a tough one to chew. I think the first two times, I just mumbled it, but it gave me warm fuzzy feelings of doing something so taboo (to me at least).

 

The third one we vaguely set it up in the initial emails, but I knew that she'd eventually say yes. During the scene, I wasn't too sure anymore. Had it gone longer, I might've been begging and willing to do anything for one. To get an idea of what it feels like, imagine the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, by whatever definition that may be. She performs a bit of a strip tease, at first you can handle her slow pace. Eventually, she ups the ante, rubbing you ever so gently. You just want to see more of her, touch her skin, kiss her lips, taste her. But before any of that, she makes you wait till the end of the performance, and it's a long performance. Your heart races, your excitement builds, sexual urges just builds to a level you've never felt before.

 

Yeah, that was me, just that I was blind, and even if I wanted to help myself, I couldn't. I had to wait patiently, and hope that I'd be lucky enough that her answer would be yes at some point. She did bite my nipple hard when I asked her the first time, since I forgot to ask please (Within what we had set up). A painful punishment but it kept me in the moment, and made me appreciate the other sensations much more. And although I couldn't see her face at the time, I'm almost certain she was happy that I made that mistake. When she told me that I forgot to say 'please', she sounded gleeful. I don't know if I'll ever find out for sure, but I'm sticking with this version of events.

 

I won't say how it ended, but I will say I left her place with a stupid smile. It's been a day and a half since, and I'm still thinking about it. The thing is, that with many of the dommes out there, I've found them a bit extreme for my tastes. I always feel that there is a lot of humiliation and degradation, and it felt mechanical. Not knocking those ladies, or their clients, it just wasn't what I was looking for. I was looking for, and found someone who didn't see this as a master/slave dynamic, but two adults having some kinky fun.

 

I definitely want to try this again, perhaps with less limits. Push myself more and see how far I can go. And I did have a greater appreciation for those who sub/bottom. It takes great mental character. I'm more excited to dom whenever I get a chance again, I would actually be able to relate with the sub's experience.

 

I would recommend people here to give it a shot (ladies and gentlemen). It isn't for everyone, but who knows, it might be for you!

 

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A bit of a follow up. She told me she did in fact get excited when I messed up the "Always say please" rule :)

 

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Toronto doesn't have a discussion thread for this sort of stuff, hence I posted here. It would be nice to have a sub section focused on different interests that people have instead of making it city specific. I'd like to learn more about stuff out there.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Thank you for sharing that, very exciting and provocative and a great reco for your dome:)Experimenting in different arenas of our sexuality is always exciting, even more so when we push our boundaries:).

[jmrandomstuff 169]

That sounds fantastic! I have yet to make my schedule and Alison's work out, but that gives me some incentive to keep trying!

 

I get the feeling you're leaving out some interesting details - but that's ok - it leave's something to my imagination.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Ahh the delight and joy of submission. Wish it were me!

[piano8950 32577]

I get the feeling you're leaving out some interesting details - but that's ok - it leave's something to my imagination.

 

There is so much I left out. What I wrote ended up being so long already, I decided not to share too much. Besides, by knowing, you loose a bit of nervous anticipation, and I think it's an integral recipe to the emotional cocktail of a session (Okay, that analogy got away from me a bit, but hopefully you get the idea).