Would You/Could You be Constructive?

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I come from a management background with a main goal of supporting and growing my team. So here's my question, if an SP approached you and asked you for feedback to improve her business (you being a non returning or non regular client) would you be able to provide constructive feedback that in no way put down or criticized? Would you think it was weird or pro-active? Would you be comfortable?

 

Have you ever wanted to say something but figured it was entirely inappropriate and so just let it go and stepped away?

 

From an SP viewpoint, are you even interested or would you want to know?

[Tallguy007 4172]

I'm a nerd through and through, and analyzing/optimizing processes is something I keep doing inside my head, but keep to myself so as to not offend.

 

And I'm all for learning to do better on my side too. I've been toying with an idea to increase the chance of a great encounter with an MA (those secretive, mysterious MAs ;-) ) by offering to describe what I like in a PM before the visit. This way, she would know what tickles my fancy without me being nervous about offending by suggesting something she's not comfortable with.

[Brad 49548]

Hmm, that's tricky.

 

My initial thought is that 'd be entirely uncomfortable. After all, it's a natural instinct to want to do better and get genuine feedback. And doing so is, indeed, generally good business sense.

 

Thinking about it though and being honest, I guess it would depend on the type of feedback I was being asked to offer. Depending on the topic, I would probably worry that I may end up saying something that would unintentionally offend, and so I'd probably stick to discussing aspects that were done well and emphasize the positive. Making suggestions or discussing things that could be improved seems like...treacherous territory. :)

 

There's an extra tricky aspect to gathering feedback in this particular endeavor. More so than with most things, people's opinions, preferences, and suggestions are going to be much more personalized. What I mean is, for each person that gives feedback in one direction, there's going to be another person that prefers it the opposite way. For every change you make you're as likely to turn away as many people as you attract. So keep in mind if you do start asking for feedback, that just because a person suggests something doesn't mean you should automatically make a change unless you decide you agree with the assessment and are more comfortable with it.

 

It seems to me that, generally speaking, you're best off focusing on your own style and way of doing things and letting those that appreciate it gravitate to you, rather than trying to change yourself to fit another's expectations.

 

None of which is to say you shouldn't feel like you can ask your questions. Just that it's probably best to only do so if you're comfortable shifting through it to decide what feedback works for you.

 

Hope that fits what you were asking! (if not, you can take my above advice and ignore it. ;) )

[Guest B**na***oy]

I'm definitely comfortable with that concept.

 

I think it's already happening, whether through private communications or more public forums. CERB is a good vehicle were individuals can contact each other through PMs or by initiating a thread.

 

We periodically see SP/MAs that start a thread to bounce an idea to the community, seeking advice or opinions, and the same goes for hobbyists.

 

In my opinion, the level of participation and appreciation of this type of exchange depends on the personality of those involved. Some are very inquisitive and will be comfortable debating ideas with others while others may do their research by googling the met.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I would be ok giving my opinion, if asked. Although it can be a minefield providing an honest and critical assessment for someone, if they don't want to hear anything critical. I don't mean fault-finding, just an honest assessment of areas for consideration. I've been asked before in academic or business situations and unless my opinion is an unqualified approval it is not taken very well. I understand the reaction but why ask if you don't want a critical and thoughtful assessment?

 

I quite often think of an SP's business and how they could stand out amongst the crowd. I think some hobbyists could be a valuable source of information if you we're serious about hearing suggestions.

 

Congrats for being willing to even consider it!

[piano8950 32577]

During a post sexy time discussion, I asked the SP if I could do anything better next time. After we talked about that for a little bit, she asked me the same. It didn't feel weird or awkward. I don't know the what SPs here would consider a regular, but I was a repeat client of hers.

 

I actually thought it was kinda nice that she asked for my opinion.

[zorobaby 4121]

This is a tricky subject, i know some people can be "over critical" when trying to be constructive and others can be really helpful. I think i could be, i come from a management background myself and find it easier to be constructive rather then demeaning or condescending, which is how i find a lot of people come off as when trying to provide criticism.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

To me, it's one thing if someone asks for an opinion or some advice. It's quite another thing to have someone offer it, unasked.

 

That said, I don't think that any two clients can expect to have the same experience with me except in terms of the roughest of outlines--as in, dinner + playtime. The quality of engagement is a highly personal thing that depends on our respective moods, the rapport between us and that indefinable je ne sais quoi that happens or doesn't.

 

If I want advice about my business model or some aspect of what I'm doing or considering, though, I would discuss that with one or two of the ladies I know simply because we're in the same business and I think that means we understand a lot of very subtle things about one another and our work that other people simply can't appreciate.

[roamingguy 300292]

I would feel honoured and flattered that a SP trusted me and valued my opinion enough to provide her with feedback. That said, to be perfectly honest, I don't think I would feel comfortable enough to offer feedback to a lady that I saw only once, as a non returning or non regular client.

Now with a lady that I do see on a regular/returning basis, if she asked I think I could offer constructive feedback, if in fact her business even needs room for improvement. Maybe I'm repeating because the lady's business is run very well and she treats her clients good.

All that said, any feedback given, if asked for, would not be criticism. It would be suggestions and that is all. And it would only be done in private, either in conversation, or via email. But as Samantha said, and I'm paraphrasing, no two clients' experience is the same. Really, and I have to agree, a lady looking to improve her business should really discuss with other trusted ladies she knows who have a successful business model

A morning rambling

RG

[Fresh start 17467]

It would be easy to give feedback, but I think the problem would be I do not believe any 2 clients are the same, may have similar taste or preference but not identical.

 

I can see constructive criticism may work for things like location, perhaps how you advertise but for how the encounter itself, I believe there is too much of a wide variety of people out there, where we all have different taste, hence that why there are so many different provider offering different things.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far. Occasionally random thoughts will pop into my head prompting questions to the community. I left this one a bit vague on feedback criteria to see what options are seen. I have always enjoyed the feedback loop especially in situations where there is so many variety and experience contained in the people and this certainly qualifies.

 

Not only are there intelligent, thoughtful smart ladies but there are brilliant men with so much experience and goodness. This is OUR industry and we all come at it from a different perspective. I love the ability to think of something you never considered before.

 

As with anything, if approached correctly and with respect, applied personally and used pro-actively, the sky is the limit.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I would be flattered if someone, especially someone I had only met once, took a few moments to give me advice. As long as I had the sense it was well meaning and being done to help me and not to criticize my abilities. Anyone that offers help to someone without personal gain is doing a kind and good thing and that act should be appreciated:)

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Everyone in this business is always looking for a way to improve it. Whether its about advertising, locations, whats new, we always want to improve.

 

However, when it comes to stuff that is personal to our unique personality, looks, things that make us who we are, that becomes a difficult subject if not addressed correctly.

 

If you take the advise of one person, and cater everything around their opinion, you are potentially missing out on other peoples opinions. Case in point, I have clients that want a natural pussy. They hate shaved, bald what have you. However, I have many more clients that love a bald as an eagle pussy. Do I cater my business on one or two people and their preference, or do I cater my business on the majority?

 

I take opinions with a grain of salt. Yes, if someone says "I love the ad you posted" - that means I am probably on the right track. However, someone else can say "I really thought that ad was really trashy, and hated it", well, maybe there is a middle ground, or maybe I can ignore the opinion of someone who said they hated it.

 

When it comes to looks however, I tend to really be careful. I might see someone who does their makeup poorly for example. Do I offer suggestions? Did they ask me for their opinion? If they did, of course, I would offer suggestions, however, if they don't ask me, I don't say anything. That might devastate them, and I would never want to be the one who did.

 

However, as a provider, when working with someone who has more experience then me, I will accept their suggestions, even if it hurts at the time. I still remember someone telling me "if you ever wear those boots with that outfit, I will beat you with a turnip". I'm glad she had the pussy to tell me that. I always thought those boots looked great, but it turns out there were others that hated them, but just never told me so.

 

Just remember who is giving you the critique - if they genuinely want to help you, great. If they are just criticizing you because they like to criticize for the same of it, take it with a grain of salt.

 

Your opinion is really the only thing that matters at the end of the day.