Trouble getting hard! Any guidance?

[Guest *rb*n C*wb*y]

Hi there, I recently visited someone for two hours and I had trouble getting an erection the entire time I was with her. She was sexy, really accommodating, patient with me, and a great conversationalist to help me get relaxed.

 

I was breathing deeply and calming myself down to get ready to get hard, and I'm quite self-aware when it comes to my body, so I recognize that I was not getting the adrenaline shakes, not jittery, had no butterflies in my stomach, etc. I was super chill. When I'm super chill like this, getting hard is typically no problem.

 

She tried six or seven times to do down on me and I returned the favour a few times (it was wonderful) but I still couldn't get beyond half an erection. She "diagnosed" me as thinking too much (in the most respectful and friendly way possible).

 

I was not offended; I admit I often do have a million things racing through my mind despite my chill attitude. I'm physically relaxed most of the time but my mind frequently goes a million miles a minute.

 

For the record, I was well-rested, had a healthy meal, and had a long leisurely shower before visiting her. No nervousness and we hit it off right away before trying for the two hours to get me ready for action. The whole reason I booked two hours was to give me time to warm up, let loose, and get relaxed.

 

How do you guys quiet your mind and relax enough mentally (and physically too) to get hard around new people? My one tiny solace was that I didn't prematurely ejaculate within two minutes of being in her company. Suddenly I wish I had that problem. ;)

 

Thanks in advance.

[bcguy42 38594]

There is a long and complicated thing I could go through but let's keep it simple.

 

Shit happens.

 

My best "old guy" advice is to file the episode under Future Funny Bar Stories. Move on. If you focus on it it will happen again.

 

That being said, if you are otherwise in good health and this becomes a regular thing, take yourself off to see the good doctor.

[roamingguy 300292]

If it's just a once happens occurrence, chalk it up and move on.

If it is something regular, like bcguy says, see your doctor, he/she can help.

There are some non prescription supplements you could try as well. For me, l-arginine works great (Thanks again Soleil :-) ) I take it along with Tribulus (the girl at GNC suggested it and my doctor OK'd it) both you can get at GNC stores

Good Luck

RG

[IsaMassage 54318]

Huney don't worry about it! Like the other guys said before! Shit happens and this may have been the first time, but may not be the Last one..

The most important thing here (more than getting an erection or even finifhing) is Did you feel good during the encounter? Did you have a nice time with the lady? Putting aside the erection factor was it an encounter during which you both get satisfied? That's all that matter!

And yes if this becomes something common visit your doctor, follow instructions and enjoy as best as you can!

[Guest *rb*n C*wb*y]

Thanks guys. :) Maybe I should masturbate less... I can easily get hard and last over an hour with lube by myself but I just need to be with more company so that I'm not just accustomed to my own touch.

 

And then see another SP to try again.

 

2 hours in the presence of a gorgeous and very affectionate lady... and I couldn't get a woody the whole time. I think I lose a couple of man points for that. :icon_lol: I'm certainly approaching this in a lighthearted manner and we did genuinely enjoy each other's company regardless. Hope I can actually step up to the plate next time!

[PhantomKnight 7914]

Exercise and clean eating!!!

 

Nice slow breathing and well. To be honest we all have our bad days. Myself I suffer from ED since my heart condition and when it became a problem.. I saw the doctor. He gave me special pills for it!! If you don't need them. Shake it off and try again!

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Penises are the most unpredictable things in the world, I swear! Don't worry about this, as others have said. If it happens often, see your doctor! And know that, even if you require a little blue pill sometimes, you may not need it every time.

 

Meanwhile, remember that there's a lot more to a quality interaction than having an erection. Pleasure is a multi-faceted thing. Explore other options and find some new ways to enjoy yourself.

[Tallguy007 4172]

It happens to this older gentleman too.

It seems to help me if I cut out the self-service, especially the one accompanied by porn.

My theory is the porn messes with your arousal circuits and the damn thing no longer works under normal stimuli.

[Guest f***nds4f**]

If you are new to this, most likely you are too nervous. Tell the SP and she can handle this. When I was young, I jerk off few hours before I have sex and it makes me last longer. Now I am old and this method doesn't work. I need to avoid sex and stop masturbation before I go to see SP.

If you have ED problem, don't be shy and go to see doctor. They are helpful and will not judge you. If you have no heart diseases, you can try Viagra, Cialis, Levitra or STAXYN. The doctor might have some free samples for you. Do not buy cheap stuff from the internet.

[Guest realnicehat]

 

2 hours in the presence of a gorgeous and very affectionate lady... and I couldn't get a woody the whole time. I think I lose a couple of man points for that. :icon_lol:

 

 

It happens to us all on occasion, no man points lost. In fact I think you gain man points for coming here to talk about it.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

This is something that many guys deal with in silence so I'll share my piece.

 

I'm not that old (38) but a while back I went through a VERY stressful period in my life. Worked myself into the ground and was physically and mentally exhausted. During that period I couldn't get hard to save my life not a chance. I got checked out and due to the strain I was under everything was screwed up in my body. Long story short, that period past and I was back to a normal life and my body was back to normal but not being able to get hard during that period messed with my head. So now even though I was physically and mentally well, every time I'd engage in sex play I'd be stressed wondering if I'd be able to get hard and guess what I'd either not be able to or would loose it half way through. It continued and as expected the more I focused on it the worse I made it. Rather than spend my time focused on the extremely beautiful woman and the sensual things we were doing and enjoy them, I'd be focusing on "get an erection, get and erection, get an erection". It was a vicious circle. Seriously, I'd say I went six months without an erection. truthfully it felt very demoralizing and my SO felt like it maybe it was her, that I wasn't interested in her.

 

I was like WTF I'm a young man who can't get it up and I was finally fed up with it. I went to the doctor and laid it all out there and it was a little uncomfortable to discuss but the Dr. told me that physically there was no reason that I shouldn't be able to achieve erection on my own but gave me some Viagra to try. The Dr. figured that if I used them to help me along, once I saw that everything still worked ok I'd get over the mental block and be fine. So that's what I did, I took the pill and had some fun with no worries about erections. I did it a few more times and everything was great and I felt like old me. Finally, I stopped the pill and what do you know, it still works! Mental block now in the past and I'm having the best sex of my life.

 

Life's too short to waste one minute. If there is something that you can do, DO IT! Have some fun and forget the worry and stress.

 

Good luck.

[Butterfly Kisses 2301]

Almost 60 here and believe me it happens. I figured it was time for Vitamin V and actually tried it for a bit. For those who have never used V, you will find if the mind or little guy isn't in the mood for whatever reason (of the many good reasons mentioned in this thread) using V may not help out.

 

I just chalk it up to another day in paradise with a beautiful lady who gets all my attention because of the situation.

 

And I quit using V because I think I started to rely on it instead of letting nature take it's course. So far things have gone back to normal.

[OralBigGuy 1308]

For me, l-arginine works great (Thanks again Soleil :-) ) I take it along with Tribulus (the girl at GNC suggested it and my doctor OK'd it) both you can get at GNC stores

Good Luck

RG

Any other hobbyists using these supplements? I've just turned 50 and don't typically have these issues, but a little insurance can't hurt, right? :D I don't want to go down the drug road because of the possible side effects.

[DB750 100]

I'm happy to see the responses from the SPs. At times I can't clear my head and it definitely affects my erection. On top of that I just get nervous around SPs for whatever reason so things are working normally. So I'm happy to see that women are understanding.

[RoddyThomas 2746]

Brother Cowboy, it happens to the best of us. Few have the courage to admit it. I would see a doctor if it happens frequently, as it can be a sign of diabetes, heart condition etc. Hey man, they have "fluffers" in the porn industry for exactly this issue. I would recommend getting back up on that horse Cowboy and ride again! (sorry, horrible pun)

[steveyK 4311]

Try Forta, its available at GNC as well as online. Works wee to get you up, keep you up, and enhance libido. All natural too...if you wish to go a few times, take some red bull or 5hr energy. Hope somethin works for you!!

[jafo105 39057]

Less alcohol... more faramones....

[Guest realnicehat]

Less alcohol... more faramones....

 

While I realize this is a common problem the OP made no mention of being under the influence.

 

Also, how would he have any control over the pheromones being put out by the SP?

[carter 110]

Sleep, I was working graveyard shifts and nothing was working as before. I was also eating crap food because of the hours so that may be an issue. Changed both and all is better

[Ice4fun 78407]

This is not a topic I ever thought I would write about....but the truth is it is certainly a reality in my life... it is something that I have come to live with and accept ... I now fully understand that an active and enjoyable sex life does not revolve around my always having a huge erection in fact I think it has made me a better partner as I now focus more on ensuring my partners needs are met.

 

I have lived with this for the last 4 or 5 years I don't know if it is derived from my health issues or my age or from the fact that emotionally the last 6 years have been extremely difficult...most likely it is a combination of all of the above.

 

I will say that the amazing women that I have met as part if this hobby have always made me feel great and hard or not I have always enjoyed myself. One particular lady that I see regularly (you know who you are) has truly been special both with this issue and generally with helping me see the positives in the world around me.

 

Bottom line... life is hard enough without beating yourself up about getting hard every time. Embrace who you are and enjoy.

 

Of course that is just my opinion.

[Guest c**io**m7]

I have to agree...shit happens. Most of the ladies here deal with this regularly. Not all of us can get a raging hard on as soon as we see her...sometimes it requires a little effort and knowing yourself well. If I have a lot of stress or an active brain, it ain't gonna happen. As others have mentioned, help exists.