Where do you draw the line

[Fresh start 17467]

I enjoy conversation with the lady but often don't know what to talk about. I've got a pretty boring life and don't really do much except work and the occasional gym 2-3 time a week. So I don't want to bore them to death. So Asking question to the lady to spark something in common is something I would like to do but hesitate since some might get offended. I for one don't mind answering almost any question and if the odd chance it's something I don't wish to I would politely say so, although I cannot think of anything at the moment.

 

So how do you feel about question, and where do you draw a line? Keep in mind I'm not talking about question like what your real name and sin. Or obviously inappropriate question like how many clients do you see. But stuff like hobbies, likes/dislike maybe even a personal story that happened to you without divulging anything to personal. I understand for discretion reason some things should not be discussed.

[EvaAdore 7767]

Hey you, this is a great question! There are lots of things you could talk about that aren't just about menial every day things...

 

- What are your dreams, goals

- What have you always wanted to do/try/see but haven't had the chance to yet and why

- Do you have any pets? Does she? Talk about them!

- Have you travelled? Where? For how long? Where has she been? Did she like it? Etc

- You like to eat, right? I bet she likes to eat, too. Where are your favorite food places? Meals? Desserts? Foods to use during sex? After sex? Before sex?

- Look around the room... notice unusual/interesting personal items or art and ask about them

- Comment on what she is wearing; where did she get it? Why did she pick it? Tell her she looks amazing in it and why! Be detailed. All women loved to be noticed for something other than the obvious.

- Is she wearing jewelry? Ask her details about it!

- Do you have any tattoos? Does she? Talk about them - people loooove talking about their tattoos.

 

My best advice would be to read or lookup some e/books about conversation and small talk. It just takes practice and creativity to think up questions or comments about your immediate environment or company. You could always just flat out tell her that you aren't great at making conversation and let her steer your dialogue. There's nothing wrong with a bit of sexy silence, too!

 

Also, you may want to kind of create cliff-hanger conversations via PM here on CERB first, so that way you can pick up the conversation or reference it while you are talking. Bring up or talk about a wide variety of topics and you can grab at them later on while you are in person.

 

Hope this helps sweety :)

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

In the context of a conversation you can ask pretty much anything you like within reason I would think.

Ladies on CERB are great conversationalists, well rounded and really smart.

They seem to have the necessary skilled to deflect, avoid and decline questions that are not something they would like to answer.

Conversations take a life of there own and have a great rhythm or be more painful than rush hour traffic. It all boils down to interest and compatibility I think.

Just be yourself, use common sense and stay within the bounds of discretion and you will be amazed at the interesting stories that will come up.

And this goes for before, during and after an encounter.

 

J

[CristyCurves 169032]

I love conversing with my clients, so much so, lol, I've talked away a lot of my time, but no worries I never short anyone:) I am open to discussing almost anything other than family, as I don't want to involve them in my lifestyle. Subjects I love to talk about are cars, food, clothes, wine, dogs, I could talk about them for hours:), politics, health, movies, your travels, since I don't, books, really just about anything. Remember what you find mundane or boring, someone else may not, so be open, feel relaxed and chat away:)

[Johnny Canuck 5347]

I'm pretty much an open book as I really don't have anything to hide. I am pretty content with my life and have a zest for the fine things in life as well as the not so fine things that some people take for granted everyday. The only thing that I will not discuss as previously stated is my family. There is need for discretion in some parts of our lives.

[Amelia Fox 9064]

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that said generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

 

Additional Comments:

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that sair generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so I (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

 

Additional Comments:

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that sair generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so I (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Living in canada, I find the best icebreaker is the weather. Ya, cliche, but it tends to get the conversation moving. I am good at anything you wish to talk about until it gets a bit too personal because, honestly, we ain't starting a relationship! Don't get me wrong, I have nothing to hide but when someone asks questions that hit a little too close to home it makes it seem that the interest is a notch above what we've agreed to!

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I love conversing with my clients, so much so, lol, I've talked away a lot of my time, but no worries I never short anyone:) I am open to discussing almost anything other than family, as I don't want to involve them in my lifestyle. Subjects I love to talk about are cars, food, clothes, wine, dogs, I could talk about them for hours:), politics, health, movies, your travels, since I don't, books, really just about anything. Remember what you find mundane or boring, someone else may not, so be open, feel relaxed and chat away:)

 

I agree with Cristy, if you don't like to talk I am a poor lady to visit. I think we all attract the right people and even people that are not eager to talk in the beginning realize that conversation makes the date so much nicer!!

[Fresh start 17467]

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that said generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

 

Additional Comments:

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that sair generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so I (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

 

Additional Comments:

For me I hate when clients ask, where you from., what do you do for a living ( this is an obvious enquiry for me as I am a PT companion.) In my opinion clients will inevitably ask basic questions... With that sair generic questions can be personal also, so I have learned to have a generic answer. HERE FOR WORK lol.I like to ask (if permits of course) new client where did you find my ad, and can quickly go from there. Nerver do I ask what do you do, or where do you work. I think first meet is about your likes and dislikes so I (as mouth is full will ask a question and say save that answer for when were done. Lucky for me my method has yet to fail me. Ahah!

I would think ((assuming of course) that how was your drive here. Did you find it okay would break the ice...... No?

 

Maybe it's just me but I honestly would feel bad if I asked a generic question and got a generic answer I would feel as if I offended you. Where as if I was politely asked to change the subject its to personal or rather not discuss that. I wouldn't mind whatsoever. I guess my immediate reaction to someone deflecting the question would be I insulted them and know they're upset where I would be oblivious to the fact you just wanted a subject change or its to personal. I guess for me its easier if the person is direct and polite than trying to avoid or deflect I'm not sure I would pick up on it. This is just me personally maybe I just need more social setting practice since I tend to be shy at first. Not to mention I don't get out much.

[cat 262460]

Perhaps putting it out there that small talk isn't your strong suit would be the icebreaker? Like Katherine and Christy, I'm a chatter and I love to get to know my guests. I take the lead and guide the conversation so my guests never have to feel tongue tied. My dad use to say I vaccinated with a gramophone needle or that my tongue was attached in the middle and wiggled at both ends. (now wouldn't that be fun!) The key is not to worry or force it. In a worst case scenario, off the top of my head I can think of a dozen things that are more fun to do with my tongue than talk, maybe that's the direction you should head in first. Then get to know each other after the skin has met...

 

cat

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31728]

I do love to talk.and sometimes tend to talk too much lol but I love to feel comfortable with whom I'm being intimate with..but I do believe.keeping our family and personal life seperate as that's very private

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I have learned that some of the men I have met have asked something very personal without realizing it was inapropriate so with me is not about what questions they can ask but them respecting my choice not to answer and by respecting I not only mean do not insist but also do not be tricky. I have had people not even in the first encounter but just communicating in order to book that ask me personal things and normally when I decline to respond they either respect it or choose not to book which is fine but contacting gentlemen I have met to see if they know is what I consider crossing the line big time so my advice/request would be ...

 

To new clients, if the lady refuses to share something and is something you need to know in order to decide whether to meet her or not then respect her privacy and move on.

 

To repeat clients to get asked about things that do not involve how the experience was, please never assume that the fact the lady shared with you means she would share it with anyone and either ask her if is ok to answer the guy's question or advice him to ask her directly.

[IamaGeek 3664]

I tend to talk a lot. I probably reveal more about my personal life than I usually intend but there are 2 reasons that this really isn't a concern. First, while I try to be discrete in my personal life, the fact that I see providers is known to my wife. Secondly, I take quite a bit of time in deciding who to see and I prefer repeat encounters with someone I know and like. This means I am already pretty confident that the provider is professional and also discrete. If I see them again it means I am that much more confident.

 

As for the other way around, I worry that I occasionally cross the line since I tend to ask plenty of questions in conversation. I have no problem with someone pointing out that I am going too far. I just would hate to create an awkward situation or embarrass the provider. I'll try to reign myself in a bit.

[Fresh start 17467]

I have learned that some of the men I have met have asked something very personal without realizing it was inapropriate so with me is not about what questions they can ask but them respecting my choice not to answer and by respecting I not only mean do not insist but also do not be tricky. I have had people not even in the first encounter but just communicating in order to book that ask me personal things and normally when I decline to respond they either respect it or choose not to book which is fine but contacting gentlemen I have met to see if they know is what I consider crossing the line big time so my advice/request would be ...

 

To new clients, if the lady refuses to share something and is something you need to know in order to decide whether to meet her or not then respect her privacy and move on.

 

To repeat clients to get asked about things that do not involve how the experience was, please never assume that the fact the lady shared with you means she would share it with anyone and either ask her if is ok to answer the guy's question or advice him to ask her directly.

 

I agree with you completely, if a topic or subject not wished to be discussed I'm completely fine and understand that although I must be aware and told they don't wish to talk about it. Sometimes hinting or beating around the bush about it I may not catch on quick enough or it even go right over my head.

 

I for one would never discuss what was said between me and a lady during an encounter and would hope for the same courtesy.

[Areez 11906]

___________________________ <- Thats the line !!

 

Hahaha - sorry too much time on my hand waiting.

[Fresh start 17467]

Perhaps putting it out there that small talk isn't your strong suit would be the icebreaker? Like Katherine and Christy, I'm a chatter and I love to get to know my guests. I take the lead and guide the conversation so my guests never have to feel tongue tied. My dad use to say I vaccinated with a gramophone needle or that my tongue was attached in the middle and wiggled at both ends. (now wouldn't that be fun!) The key is not to worry or force it. In a worst case scenario, off the top of my head I can think of a dozen things that are more fun to do with my tongue than talk, maybe that's the direction you should head in first. Then get to know each other after the skin has met...

 

cat

 

I love a lady who can talk and take the lead is great. I'm open and can tell someone my whole life story but who wants to hear my lame or sad life. I'm not trying to make people feel sorry for me but I do have quite the hard and sad past. Honestly I can tell a stranger my deepest secrets but if I know the person I cannot. Why this is, if it gets to awkward or too uncomfortable or judgement is cast upon I don't have to see you again where people I know I still have to.

 

For me I guess the point of asking question would be to find common ground on rare occasion it may be to satisfy my curiosity but that only if the person wants to share. I truly mean no harm or have ulterior motives.

 

Although I'm not sure I could just jump into intimacy before some sort of talk, to me it feels a little cheap and not my thing, unless we've meet before and we are dying to taste each other that my one exception lol!

[Mikeyboy 27133]

This is a great question, and one that I too have struggled with. In most everyday situations when I meet someone that I am trying to get better aquainted with, I ask about family, friends, where they are from, what they do, where they went to school, what they studied, etc etc. Normally these are pretty innocent questions, but in the context of an SP /client relationship, they are likely too personal. I know that most sp's like to keep their private life quite separate from their working life, so I often struggle with ice breakers and small talk. (And it does feel cliche talking about the weather.) I often come off as more intraverted than I normally am as a result. I start overthinking everything I am about to say to see if it is appropriate.

There have been some good suggestions here though for conversation starters. Thanks again for asking the question, and to all who have responded.

[Hollywood Thomson 553]

Any great provider will be the one who initiates the conversation and gets things going as a way to simply allow the person to unwind and relax. I like to give out little tidbits of information like what I have planned on the weekend, such as to go paddle boarding or ask questions about little scars or cuts I see.

 

I don't mind sharing what my education is, those who come to my incall location are often asking about stuff I have in my place.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I think when it comes to conversations during an encounter, keep it on general topics esp on the first meeting. If it gets further than that and the SP says something personal then obviously she doesn't mind sharing but don't come right out and ask her life story. This is very off putting and when I see clients do this, it's a total mood wrecker as with those who are very judgemental in response.

[Phaedrus 209521]

There have been plenty of good suggestions already, but... yes, keep away from the really personal stuff. Everyone has their own line, and where that is will depend on the lady in question, her own situation and preferences and personality, and how comfortable she feels with you. And if you're unsure (or even if not), the phrase, "If you don't mind my asking," is very useful, because it lets her know that you're fine with it if she chooses not to talk about something. My approach to this is to talk about whatever comes naturally at the time, but if you feel there's reticence there... change the subject.

 

Also, to the OP: your life probably isn't as boring as you think it is. It might seem that way to you, because you do it every day, but that's the same for all of us and to someone who doesn't do what you do every day... your life is different.

[cat 262460]

I love a lady who can talk and take the lead is great. I'm open and can tell someone my whole life story but who wants to hear my lame or sad life. I'm not trying to make people feel sorry for me but I do have quite the hard and sad past. Honestly I can tell a stranger my deepest secrets but if I know the person I cannot. Why this is, if it gets to awkward or too uncomfortable or judgement is cast upon I don't have to see you again where people I know I still have to.

 

For me I guess the point of asking question would be to find common ground on rare occasion it may be to satisfy my curiosity but that only if the person wants to share. I truly mean no harm or have ulterior motives.

 

Although I'm not sure I could just jump into intimacy before some sort of talk, to me it feels a little cheap and not my thing, unless we've meet before and we are dying to taste each other that my one exception lol!

 

Trust me when I tell you, if I decide I want a piece of you before I say hello, it will seem anything but cheap and you will have an paradigm shift in what you think is or is not your thing ;) ...

 

cat

[fortunateone 156618]

What might seem dull to you isn't dull to me, or any stranger who works in customer service lol.

 

Really, I like to hear about other people's jobs or hobbies, etc, without going into anything too personal or revealing of course, you can always discuss what sort of work you do, and so on. I've learned alot of behind the scenes stuff of a variety of different things, which I find very interesting.

 

Sometimes you find your common ground right there, in sharing work related stuff.

[RoddyThomas 2746]

I think as humans we hate awkwardness. We perceive silence as uncomfortable. I would ask off the wall questions. If you were a Super Hero, who would you be? When you order breakfast are you a bacon or sausage girl? What is the air speed/velocity of a sparrow? Have you ever passed out drunk behind the Old Munich beer gardens in Montreal and almost got run over by a garbage truck? Gerard Butler or Bradley Cooper? Hopefully the lady finds you amusing and not a simpleton as you want to be invited back....

[piano8950 32577]

I asked the question "How did you get into this business?" twice. Till I read that's a complete no-no.

 

Since then, I've just let whatever woman I see take the lead. Some women have been remarkably open on what they share, and this is without any bit of prodding. One person gave me a big synopsis of her life story (it has been fascinating so far), one told me her school plans, along with her university and exact program, I've been told how many clients she saw and how much she made that particular day. Nothing that made me feel weird, just a bit surprised how open they were.

 

I've seen people who are well reviewed, and well admired. So I'm comfortable sharing parts of my life, eventually opening up a little bit more each time. Basically stuff I wouldn't mind telling a friend.

 

So in a nutshell, I start with the weather like any good Canadian. If I've seen her before, I'll pick up where I left off last time, and if she's new, I'll see if there is anything on her website that she mentions (a book, an interest perhaps). And if personal information is shared, I don't mind her asking questions, and drawing the figurative line.