Exotic Touch Danielle 31734 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Am I wrong for wanting to play safe? To each their own everyone likes different things and I do respect that but am I wrong for wanting to offer a clean safe bj? Look forward to hearing everyone's opinion xo 11 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 No you are not wrong...whatever you decide to offer is what is right for you and you should be respected for your choices! 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marriedbutnotdead 3844 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 You have the right to offer what ever you want and will find clients that only want a safe encounter. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Areez 11906 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Absolutely not. Why: Everyone comfort limit is different... Your decision is yours to make and never let anyone tells you otherwise. As a hobbyist _if_ this is a deal breaker for me; I just carry on and find a different provider. I would never try to force anyone to do anything they would not do. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exotic Touch Danielle 31734 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Thankyou everyone for your comments I really do appreciate that!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Positively,one thousand percent.......NO...you play the WAY YOU WANT, it is your body and your health. As you said gorgeous..."To each their own" Am I wrong for wanting to play safe?To each their own everyone likes different things and I do respect that but am I wrong for wanting to offer a clean safe bj? Look forward to hearing everyone's opinion xo 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lexy Grace 103697 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Hello my friend, You have the right to offer exactly and only what you are comfortable with and "banana flavour" condoms are pretty nice:icon_wink:. As you and I both know we see many ladies who have been pressured to provide BBBJ or in some case you see ladies being slandered and bashed online for providing BBBJ (at their discretion) only to see BBBJ being offered by the people who slander and bash. You stick to what you are happy with and from your reco thread BBBJ doesn't seem to be effecting the quality of service you provide and the gents you see are happy with what you choose to offer. Keep on doing you and have fun doing it! Love ya, Lexy 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 I honestly believe there is way too much slandering, pressure and bashing on both sides of this equation. ladies towards other ladies who differ, those who say clients pressure them, those who feel pressured. Every time this topic gets brought up no matter the phrasing, forum or thread, it generally stirs up emotion all around. I believe everyone must do what is right for them and what is within their own "risk" limit. I also believe that we also need to let everyone live their life and run their business or make their hobbyists choices without judgement or condemnation. If you don't want to do it, don't. If you do, do. If you want a provider who does, find one. If you find one who does or doesn't based on whatever you want, suck it up and move on. I think there has been enough negativity put out there by these threads that we all just need to decide to stop the madness. Danielle, this is in no way aimed at you, I understand why you're asking, the problem being, you shouldn't HAVE to ask. It doesn't matter what others think or feel, what matters is how YOU think and feel. Respect runs every which way so lets all respect one another and let this topic die a very quick and painless death and respect one another to make the choices that are right for us. 11 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Northman 16522 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 There is no wrong or right. Only choices and consequences. You choose to offer a certain set of services for a certain price. Clients choose to come see you or not based on whether or not they feel the price is appropriate for the service. It's very simple and there is no moral judgement. If you can make acceptable levels of profit, great. If not, then you make adjustments to either prices or services. It's true in all areas of business. Consider buying something. Some people are willing to pay more to purchase things at smaller independent retailers because they feel the level of service is higher. Others will always seek the lowest price regardless of any other factors so you have places like Walmart. There's room for both business models in my opinion. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exotic Touch Danielle 31734 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 I love you as well Lexy And you are all right to each their own and no one should feel bad a bout offering either...just lately I have been receiving requests.for bbbj and when I say I don't provide thathey basically.try to make me feel bad because they can get a bbbj from other providers...I just feel its unnecessary to tell me about what other ladies offer that is not my business...I just rather a clean safe sloppy bj lol 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 I love you as well Lexy And you are all right to each their own and no one should feel bad a bout offering either...just lately I have been receiving requests.for bbbj and when I say I don't provide thathey basically.try to make me feel bad because they can get a bbbj from other providers...I just feel its unnecessary to tell me about what other ladies offer that is not my business...I just rather a clean safe sloppy bj lol If your boundaries are no bbbj then no bbbj. Gentlemen pay for a lady's time, but that doesn't mean a man is free to do what he wants during that time. All activities must respect each other's boundaries No man (definitely not a gentleman) should make you feel bad in the least because of your restrictions. He should just see someone else if bbbj is important to him. No reason for him to compare you to other providers or make you feel bad. Offer the companionship you feel comfortable in providing, don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to. And each and every lady is a unique special person, and should never be compared to another lady. Any guy that would do that to you is likely a guy you wouldn't want for a client anyway A rambling RG 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss S. Lane 67128 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 ...lately I have been receiving requests.for bbbj and when I say I don't provide thathey basically.try to make me feel bad because they can get a bbbj from other providers...I Delete! Delete! Delete! It is NOT worth deviating from who you are, or outside your comfort zone, just to get the client. Let them go, and be true to you. Don't worry about what they have to say, just delete and continue reading through emails/texts/etc until you find a client that's willing to respect you for you, and that INCLUDES respecting your boundaries. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikeyboy 27134 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 ...I just rather a clean safe sloppy bj lol And may I add... It is an experience not to me missed! ;) Keep doing what you are comfortable with. You offer top notch services and those who move on over this one issue are missing out. Mikey 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Never offer or agree to provide something that you're not comfortable doing. Never, ever. You will feel used and degraded, or worse. This is a reasonable way to make a living IF you can enjoy yourself and the men who visit you. If not, you can start feeling as though your soul is being shredded. Don't let anyone tell you what everyone else is doing. They're probably wrong. And don't let anyone tell you that you won't get clients if you don't do X, Y or the almighty Z. That's not true, either. There are plenty of clients out there for every companion. Even in tough economic times! Give you very best, all the time, no matter what. Who you are, your diligence, creativity and sensitivity are the things that matter more than anything else in this business, every day. 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Never offer or agree to provide something that you're not comfortable doing. Never, ever. You will feel used and degraded, or worse. This is a reasonable way to make a living IF you can enjoy yourself and the men who visit you. If not, you can start feeling as though your soul is being shredded. Don't let anyone tell you what everyone else is doing. They're probably wrong. And don't let anyone tell you that you won't get clients if you don't do X, Y or the almighty Z. That's not true, either. There are plenty of clients out there for every companion. Even in tough economic times! Give you very best, all the time, no matter what. Who you are, your diligence, creativity and sensitivity are the things that matter more than anything else in this business, every day. No gentleman will ever want to make a lady feel used and degraded...or worse. A gentleman wants encounters to be mutually beneficial, and part of that means a man will respect all of the lady's boundaries. Any man who wants to make a lady feel used and degraded, and has no respect for her boundaries is a man you don't want to have for a client. Another rambling RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted June 13, 2013 Oh, lordy. This one again? As everyone else has said... do what you're comfortable and happy with. If you only offer CBJ then, sure, it'll be a deal-breaker for some, but there are plenty of other guys out there so I don't think that's worth worrying about. And if you're not happy with what you're doing it'll probably come across, and people will notice (even if they don't really know what they've noticed). And my two cents on this... the presence or absence of a bit of latex is nothing like as big a factor as the talents of the person I'm with. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exotic Touch Danielle 31734 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 I was simply venting.about an issue that has been on my mind for some time and as always I feel very comfortable doing it here on cerb where I have met and befriended so many...I know this is a touchy subject but like I Saud earlier to all who has replied thankyou for your comments and kind words..xoxo I will continue to give you all the fabulous sloppy cbj ever!! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 just lately I have been receiving requests.for bbbj and when I say I don't provide thathey basically.try to make me feel bad because they can get a bbbj from other providers I think my point of view has been represented on this thread, so no need to repeat what someone else has said. I was just surprised to read this. On one hand, I can't even imagine how awkward it would be to even approach this question, so I'm surprised people would ask, and on the other, if people do ask, does it mean that some women relent? My question is more academic than anything else. Every time I think I have this industry somewhat figured out, someone throws another curve ball. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tsukiyo_Chevalier 3242 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 i will say 2 things on this. like with every one else you provide what ever you feel comfortable providing and not what some one else says you should, it is your life and you only get one for a short time at that. you should not take a risk if you do not want to. and 2nd if the main sticking point for someone is this issue and nothing else, i question that as a whole. but to each there own. Just vent and get it out of your system, and know that you are right in whatever you do as it is your choice. I hope you have a great rest of the week :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 I have only ever done cbjs, and honesty is the best policy. One thing you can say to those who try to argue about it with you or you feel pressured by is that your cbjs are never YMMV. EVERYONE will get what is promised to them, unlike many who advertise and promise this service but don't deliver on arrival. The same thing with CIM. You can and will ALWAYS provide CIM to anyone and everyone (who is trying to finish with a bj of course), and that ALL of your bjs are done without hesitation and full enthusiasm because unlike the ones providing (or not) bbbjs, you have nothing to worry about and the difference is going to be obvious. So they can go to a bbbj promiser and a CIM promiser, and maybe they will get that bbbj and maybe they won't, and that's ok with you. Because also, at the end of the day, I want to see the clients who want to see and spend time with me, not a list of services. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cgnex 1616 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 The flip side to all of this is that some will prefer providers who don't offer bbbj. I respect boundaries and safety. You lose some, you gain some - so long as you are comfortable with your decision. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoddyThomas 2746 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 I would think it comes down to what you are comfortable with. You are definitely not wrong wanting to be safe. It must be a difficult choice, as most men would prefer a bbbj so it would affect your bottom line. I respect your choice, playing it safe, and for me if the girl is sweet and sexy I wouldn't care if it was safe or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bcguy42 38594 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 There is an upside to clients who call and and attempt to pressure a provider. These people are self-identifying as classless jerks who are volunteering to end any further discussion. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nippongakki 3843 Report post Posted June 14, 2013 When I pay money to see a lady, I'm there for the whole experience. That includes conversation, visual stimulation and mutual enjoyment. When it comes time to get down to business, it's always up to the provider to do what she feels comfortable with. Does a bbbj feel great? Yeah. Does a CBJ feel gross? NO! It feels pretty damn good too! And if the person doing it is someone you enjoy looking at/ talking to/ and generally feel comfortable with than it honestly doesn't matter and would never even factor into my decision making. Just do what you're comfortable with and if you're good at it (and I'm sure you are) the right clients will find you and repeat with you! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest B**na***oy Report post Posted June 14, 2013 (edited) There is not much to add to what was already said. The answer to the question is: All of the above. Although it has been said many times, the only point that I would really like to re-emphasise, is the fact that if someone is stupid enough to call you and try to negotiate a service you are not willing to offer, they are not the type of person you want to see anyway so shut them down and nothing was lost. Edited June 14, 2013 by B**na***oy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites