Sexual judgement

[d*mm*y 887]

One of the topics that came up today at the lunch was the fact that a few members are rather vocal about the fact that they don't like the ladies being involved in poly events? For the life of me I cannot figrue this out, is anyone niave enough to believe that these women only see a few people? What diference is it if it is 4 guys in one day or 4 guys at the same time?

 

Also I thought this group would be the last ones being judgmental about someones sexual preferences? As I see it non of us are out celebrating on the streets about our sexual choices, when was the last time you were in a meeting at work and mention in casual conversation that you see escorts? However here is a place that you express your irregular sexual habits and compare notes, why would you condem someone for having a slightly different fantasy than you??? 2 ladies and one guy always seems popular and has not gathered the scorn of cerbites, why is 3 ladies and 6 guys or 4 guys and a lady etc... any different? Please help me understand because at this point I just think there are some stupid and ignorant people on this board. I am sure there is a good reason I just have not discovered it yet.

 

BTW the biggest poly group I have been in is sitting in perverts row with 50 other guys watching a lady undress on stage, does not get much more poly than that.

[Andee 220524]

Could I ask a stupid question? What are these guys doing as members of a poly group if they have those feelings about the ladies? Doesn't make sense to me.

[jerican 657]

Hear, hear Dummpy! While I am not quite ready to move into a GB myself (haven't even experienced a duo yet, have to ease into things as they say;)) I have absolutely no judgment on others who do so. In fact the reason I am in the group is because the writeups and events sound like a blast (literally) and I may venture over there some day.

 

Is anyone here naive enough to think that the person they see as a favorite does nothing else with others? Is she not allowed to spend her time in any way she chooses? When she sees you solo the next time is she any different because she engaged in something you don't want to try?

 

To reinforce what dummpy said about some on CERB frowning on different types of recreation that others on CERB enjoy:

 

'people who live in glass houses should not throw stones'

 

No one in the poly group forces anyone to read the threads, to attend an event or pass judgment on those who choose not to try, the group is there to try and facilitate new experiences...isn't that why people come to CERB...for experiences, whether they are simply or complex.

 

At the end of all this the message should be that it's none of your business unless you want to attend, otherwise move on and leave others well enough alone.

[Guest f***2f***]

Could I ask a stupid question? What are these guys doing as members of a poly group if they have those feelings about the ladies? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

 

I think it' ladies regulars who are not in the poly group who are voicing judgement. I agree with dummpy it's ridiculous

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Sadly, I think it's human nature to rate oneself in comparison to others - by labelling the poly-partakers as degenerate, they are making themselves feel better about their own deviance.

Either that, or they're just incredibly jealous. Some of the more outspoken gay bashers are in the closet, themselves.

[canuckhooker 19203]

It is simple. Two basic reasons. One is that some people are not happy unless they can find something to bitch about. In line with that, maybe the hobbiest was using that as an excuse. Either way mountain out of molehill.

 

The other reason was something we talked about at the other end of the table where all the really snazzy posing pouches were sitting. The general assessment is that everyone is weird in some way, and the degree of weirdness is what sets us apart. In this case some people in the hobby, should not be, because they lack the maturity or understanding of this business. They form one-sided personal attachments, or get jealous when you should know that this is the nature of the beast. Neither the SPs nor the clients are monogamous. I would wager 90% of the people involved in the business as clients or SPs (MAs and dancers included) are involved because we like sex, we like people, and we like variety. The people who come in with misguided notions like "saving" someone from the life, or that "she/he really likes me best" are the ones that are going to cause the problems.

 

Dr Hooker's office is open for more consultations. Psycho therapy for pervs my speciality. :lol::lol:

[Akhenaton 221]

LOL, first time I here this perticular kind of poo, must be even more stinky, lol

 

As to the "savior" aspect, it is likely the most prevalent "danger" lurking in this hobby, given that sex is to many people the most intimate thing they can imagine, it is no stretch of the imagination that they fall into this trap.

 

Nothing wrong with really liking a perticular client or sp, we are after all only human.

 

As to the poly thing, well, before it used to be just hanging around where "hookers" are was dangerous and you had to avoid the place (somehow the "contaminiated" it... un hun...) I guess now that sex is more out in the open, the boundaries have just changed and some people need to put a 'limit' on what is ok. Fine and dandy, but let others do what they will, it's not causing you and grief...

 

 

mountain out of molehill.

 

... The people who come in with misguided notions like "saving" someone from the life, or that "she/he really likes me best" are the ones that are going to cause the problems.

 

[heatwave2000 369]

Wow, looks like I missed some interesting discussion today.

 

I think that anyone who thinks they are entitled to have an opinion about what an SP does, especially outside of the "paid time", has some control issues.

 

Of course anyone is entitled to not see an SP again for any reason, but for the reasons others have cited, participating in a poly event is a pretty dubious reason.

[roger dodger 2160]

it is strange that someone would think that, considering that many sp's have bfs, and as long as they don't bring them along, i couldn't care less lol. i wish there were more sp's that would have been there, and i hope next meeting they outnumber the guys

[PistolPete 61421]

Sadly, I think it's human nature to rate oneself in comparison to others - by labelling the poly-partakers as degenerate, they are making themselves feel better about their own deviance.

Either that, or they're just incredibly jealous. Some of the more outspoken gay bashers are in the closet, themselves.

 

Wow, well said..actually very well said Kate thats why I like you, you are very intelligent and frigging sexy!

 

I have not participated in a GB , but have done duo's several times, trio once, and now have experienced twice a MMFF and I can honestly say, I felt good in my skin.:butt:

 

I felt great afterward, and those that participated with me are good quality people.:bowdown:

 

I now have the up most respect for people that participate in new experiences, if you never tried it you should not critizise those that have.:cooter:

[BigBlueMachine 112]

Sorry I missed the latest (better planning is needed on my part) but agree it would be great to have as many ladies as gents at these social events. It really doesn't matter what the ratio of guys to ladies is as long as everyone is open minded and treats it as a social event to get know people.

[Andee 220524]

I think it' ladies regulars who are not in the poly group who are voicing judgement. I agree with dummpy it's ridiculous

 

The way I read it was that this topic was brought up by members of the group who were at the luncheon.

Dummpy, help me out here. Did I read that right?

[Annessa 22743]

The way I read it was that this topic was brought up by members of the group who were at the luncheon.

Dummpy, help me out here. Did I read that right?

 

theres some some confusion here as to the topics addressed. I see what you mean Angela, that this thread was created and advertised by some members of the group, but behind the scenes many ladies have been judged for having multiple partners in a single session.

 

its interesting because as dumpy and others said, our business of what we do as working ladies should not define us. everyone on here has different fantasies....some clients want to be flogged while being screamed at humiliating phrases......some are into bondage....some straight men want to have it taken up the rear by an SP in a strap-on....some men want to be with more than one women in the same hour......and many have and have advertised looking for it. has any judgment been passed?

 

no

 

however...when a lady agrees to be with multiple men at the same time or seeks out multiple men for a single session its not accepted or deemed demeaning?...even if shes in control of the situation and selective of those she allows in her event?

 

perhaps some may agree to disagree but this will always be the double standard....the only plus is, as SPs, we can control who we see and thus weed out those who think we need to be "saved" from a "misguided life" of what we choose to do. My opinion is that if a client feels its his right to control what you do outside of your's and his time together....he is not a client worth keeping....not because of the business you might loose, but because of the self esteem potentially lost having someone thinking you can't make decisions for yourself.

 

I kinda steer clear of the term "GB"...poly suits it way better. GBs tend to resonate with acts of many men taking over a sole lady or ladies in a demeaning non-willing manner. Group-sex on the clock is not the same. picture it as going on a call...sipping wine with a few gents around a table at a private call and getting to know each other...and then having everyone respect your restrictions, everyone else's pace, and other's spaceand time.

 

yes bit of a rant but as a word of advice, any Hobbiest who claims he knows whats best for his SP and voices so without her asking for an opinion from them will most likely loose his hard-earned favoritism.

 

When someone tries to steer me from what I want to do based on what they think I'm "good enough" for, it makes me wonder if they think they are preying on the weak...or appreciating someone's love for their art. and I would always hope for the latter....but there are those odd few who want to hear that you've come from a broken home, were abused as a child and turned to sex-work in an act of monetary desperation.

 

hopefully some of the knights in shining armor will realize that none of those apply to some and will start realizing the gifts they have in front of them...not for the victims they feel they need to "save" but for the strong women that they are....capable of making whatever choices they want.....even if they, the client, cant relate

[etasman2000 15994]

I kinda steer clear of the term "GB"...poly suits it way better.

 

Actually I would disagree. poly is a well known and well accepted abbreviation for polyamoury, a lifestyle some Cerb members follow, which may not include multiple partners at one sitting as GB would imply.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[bigdawg 474]

live and let live, people should not judge other's for their likes or dislikes, life is about new experience's and enjoying , whether it's solo or a couple or a group, it doesn't matter as long as everyone is into it , as someone I know once said you will never know unless you try:)

[bylogger 136]

The fantasy of having a "mistress" may be at play here. Some of the patrons may see their time with an SP as that unique one to one bonding, even if elicit. But when their favourite "relationship" is involved in simultaneous multiple partners, that action explodes the "I am special" myth.

 

Or of course, as has been suggested, maybe their morals are on too tight, by which personal limits are exceeded. Noble if someone were getting hurt, sad when everyone is having a great experience.

 

Is anyone here naive enough to think that the person they see as a favorite does nothing else with others?

[Andee 220524]

I had a client who always wanted to be the "first" client of the day. Because I am low volume, that could be at 1:00 in the afternoon, so he always wanted the earliest time slot I could give him, just to make sure I suppose.

 

Do you think he thought that maybe us girls lie about something like that?

[d*mm*y 887]

It's not the semantics but more the connotations. A GB as seen in the prono's is a woman being "taken" and yes some women want that, it is not the definition of most of the events we have had. All SP's are polyamourus as in they all have multiple partners, however a "Poly" party means many participants. We made the name up to avoid the negative connotations with Gang Bangs, as we invented the name we get to create it's definition, look on Urban Dictionary and Wikipedia, I will add it over the weekend :) and we will have a more official term :D

 

Search "Poly Party" these things have to be screened by editors so the definitions may not hit the web until Monday or Teusday :)

 

For the record;

 

"Poly Party

A liberal gathering of multiple partners for group sex, more organic and consensual than a gang bang, and more organized than a flat out orgy. Poly Party group sex outlines boundaries and limits respected by the participants and agreed to in advance.

Ted, Jane, Allen and Don had a Poly Party, Jane did not want any lips below the hips with out protection and the guys all agreed that it would be only straight sex. Jane did request all hole filled and gentlemen were able to oblige.

by Dummpy on Sep 11, 2009 tags: gang bang, orgy, dp, sex, kinky"

 

 

 

 

Actually I would disagree. poly is a well known and well accepted abbreviation for polyamoury, a lifestyle some Cerb members follow, which may not include multiple partners at one sitting as GB would imply.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[d*mm*y 887]

And to those confused by my first post saying it was people in the poly group with the issue, it was not people that attended the lunch or get involved in the discussions. It is negative people who try to exercise some control over the ladies and people by sending nasty messages and undermining the overral activities.

 

Thanks to all who have read I do think that in general we understand the problem and are relatively helpless to avoid it. As Annessa so eloquently said we can choose to avoid the people who try to bring this negativity around us. I had a bar once (a sleazy littl crap hole nothing glamorous) and I the first few weeks I was tempted to serve anyone, however a voice in my head told me I was better of to keep the real rif raf on the streets and out of the bar, it hurt for the first few months as they "cleints" would have pruchased some alcohol and helped me eek out a living, instead I had lots of empty seats. however over time the clientel i wanted people with jobs and able to spend more the $10 a night started to patronize the place, my initial pain did translate into a longer term gain. To any SP's out there don't looses site of the long term picture if you can organize a few events and gain a few well healed long-term clients that is way more important than some one how wants exercises there will on you for the moment, turn them away they do not have your best interest at heart in spite of what they say.

[Guest]

This is what I believe. I choose to do what I want to do. I don't care what anyone out there thinks of me. If 3 girls are fine with doing 6 guys. What the hell. Have some fun. I may not be comfortable doing that. But who am I to judge. My opinion would change. If it was 3 girls not wanting to do 6 guys.

 

We are big girls. We can say no if we don't want to do something. It's not like we have a gun pointed to our head.

 

I myself have had some fun in some group action. The both gentlemen. Treated me and the other girl. With the upmost respect. As long as the girls are treated like ladies. What is wrong.

 

I know that most of the guys on cerb. Would not go out of their way to demean a woman. If it stays that way. Why not invite the whole dam city. Just remember to wear a rubber and have some fun.

[buggernot 588]

I'm sure there's more than a few people who partake in this hobby who think what they're doing is wrong. Imagine a good catholic paying to have sex with a woman that wasn't his wife and he wore a condom. Jesus, what's the penance for that? So it's not surprising that there will be some naysayers out there that frown upon behaviour they deem as extreme.

 

What likely opened the floodgates for people who have problems with the poly group, is the openness and accessibility to the information here. You can come on CERB and find out that that girl you had sweet, passionate sex 4 or 5 times with, sometimes likes it rough, offers golden showers, and has participated in erotic events involving a half dozen people. And those same guys who are perturbed when they find that out, probably jerk off to porn showing the same shit.

 

Hopefully, it will make some people stop and reassess their views to approach things with a more open mind. When I first discovered masturbation, I thought I was doing something wrong or was being abnormal by doing it so much. When I found porn, my gut reaction was that it was degrading to women and should be banned...even though I jerked off to it all the time. Eventually, most of us start seeing matters in a different light and from another perspective to get over that hump of being ignorant and appreciate all that sexuality has to offer. There's still a few things out there that I don't get off on, nor have I tried, but if someone else does and it's enjoyed by two consenting adults (or more ;)), good for you...

[Ragnaglar 440]

Well just read the whole thread and all I have to say is quite simple.

 

The people who dislike the idea of poly parties with their fave SP participating it ruins the fantasy that they created for themselves. They delude themselves that she is somehow their mistress/damsel in distress.

 

In life my judgements on many sexual activities has fluctuated over the years, and now I judge not, lest I be judged.

And beyond that who am I to interfere between consenting adults!

 

I have had my reservations about the poly party but I am also titilated as well.

 

I have more to say on this subject so more to come!

Posted via Mobile Device

[d*mm*y 887]

Just a few follow-up notes, got a pm yesterday from someone calling sub-human because I partake in group sex. Yes this mentality is alive and healthy right here on this board.

 

Also have a look!!

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Poly+Party

[buggernot 588]

Just a few follow-up notes, got a pm yesterday from someone calling sub-human because I partake in group sex. Yes this mentality is alive and healthy right here on this board.

 

My ex-wife thought I was sub-human because I farted in bed.

 

Everyone's got their line, so fuck 'em if they disagree...

[mod 135640]

My ex-wife thought I was sub-human because I farted in bed.

 

Everyone's got their line, so fuck 'em if they disagree...

 

See, the problem is you married someone who you could not fart next to! Who's fault was that? LOL