Sexual judgement

[curious2 323]

The fantasy of having a "mistress" may be at play here. Some of the patrons may see their time with an SP as that unique one to one bonding, even if elicit. But when their favourite "relationship" is involved in simultaneous multiple partners, that action explodes the "I am special" myth.

 

Sounds like a precisely correct analysis to me.

[Whatshisname 100]

Amen Dumpy. I read a post once, outside of the poly group stuff, and one fella was talking about a tranny he had seen. My eyes went wide. Then I realized "hey man, he is here for the (almost) exact same thing as you - good for him, he found what he was looking for. we should all be so lucky."

I don't judge - whatever floats your boat ... clearly we all have our assorted kinks/appetites/desires. That someone would be upset with an SP for this is wrong on too many levels to list.

I have yet to join a poly party - but i bet i was one of the first to sign up - it just hasn't worked out for me yet - i work out of town, i fly constantly etc. so these things just happen to fall on bad days.

speaking of that ... off to vegas, any suggestions.

[explorer69 3513]

I'll raise a different view. I see SPs and MPAS and it is a fantasy and sex thing. Sometimes I like to think of her as my temporary GF... That is why we all love the GFE. On the other hand when an SP advertises a gangbang , it raises the idea of ultimate slutiness. This is in contrast to my fantasy as the girl next door. Therfore I prefer not to see those who advertise this. I stopped seeing one of my faves because of this.It may be a double standard but it is my standard. I also like when SPs/ MPAs shower between clients which won't happen in a poly party.

 

However i would never tell a sex worker how to conduct her business. I also don't condemn those who participate. Every one can do what makes them happy as long as it is consenual and doesn't involve minors.

[canuckhooker 19203]

Every one can do what makes them happy as long as it is consenual and doesn't involve minors.

 

 

What about sheep? Are they OK? Just asking for umm a friend. :lol:

[cat 262460]

Poly. Plural. Gang Bang. Rounders. Multi. It doesn't matter how it labeled. It has been around since the beginning of time. I have been reading the threads concerning this and quite honestly none of this makes any sense to me. Not because of the actions or the reactions, the participants or the detractors. It's the judgment. The detractors voiced an opinion of disapproval, they passed a judgment. The participants reacted with disapproval of the disapproving opinion and passed a judgment. Who is right? Seems to me like everyone's doing the same thing. The question is would you rather be right or happy? Judgment in itself is a divider, it keeps us separate and consistently isolates. It serves no purpose except to reinforce the belief that "I'm better than". Last time I checked we all put our pants on one leg at a time and stick our fingers in places we don't admit to. I have a saying that I use "Your opinion of me is none of my business" and it serves me well.

 

There will always be misunderstandings, thats why we are here to communicate. No 2 people will every have the same "line in the sand". Those lines move with time. For some it's forward and for some its backwards. Back in the day, bachelor parties had group scenes of sorts. Been there. Would I go back? I don't know. It doesn't seem to hold any draw for me at this place in my life. Was it fun? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We all have the choice to participate, opinionate, and ignore. Perhaps if all involved stopped and looked within to see what the moment requires of them, this situation would rectify itself and take it's place where it belongs.

 

Catherine

[Ragnaglar 440]

That's too bad Dummpy that that language was used sub-human, is if.

 

You see "my" world was limited and full of fear. I knew my desires surpassed my peers. I tried to supress my desires to be with other women.

 

But I tired of it and frankly it was hurting my relationships, my judgements from before for myself are fear based. And I am overcomming them.

 

I want to participate with the right people and the right girl.

 

I just notice now that I no longer pass judgement on others for their choices, we are all wired differently and this is a good thing we need to embrace this, it adds colour to life.

Posted via Mobile Device

[canuckhooker 19203]

Very good points SA, but they apply to a lot more in this "Adult entertainment domain" than just GBs. ( I hesitate to use hobby in this case)

 

A lot of people attacking the Adult industry use words like coerce, exploit, dominate etc. All very negative and not applicable in the majority of cases. With a Gang Bang, it is the symbolic nature of the event, where it appears like the woman may being dominated or exploited by the men. Notice I said "appears" and I would say that most women in that situation are there willingly and for their own motivations.

 

The appearance is what un-nerves some people. I am aware of a sport where before the game the referee must inspect the footwear of the players. The traditional way to do this was for the players to line up.. drop to their knees and the referee walked behind them checking their footwear. I know recently that some female coaches of female teams told their players not to get on their knees if the referee was a man, because of the notion that they were kneeling down to a man. It was totally based on how the act appeared and how it could be misinterpreted.

 

I have no problem with GBs if the women are willing participants and know what they are getting into. Any form of coercion or peer pressure (Yeah.. Sally all the cool kids are pulling train.) is unacceptable. And by the same token I would hope that nobody here would try and pressure someone into a situation they were not comfortable with.

 

If everyone is a willing participant then others should keep their comments to themselves. It is only sex after all, and remember a lot of what all of our members here do regularly would be frowned upon by a large portion of mainstream society.

[canuckhooker 19203]

Well the dominating or power is a fine semantic difference. I think we mean the same thing.

 

As for "under the influence" I agree with you. If someone uses chemical means to encourage compliance then it is wrong. If the woman herself takes something to give herself courage then I would argue that there is quite likely either coercion or exploitation going on and it is wrong. When I say that the women wants to be there, I meant she is aware of what is going on, and is having positive thoughts about the experience.

 

My 2 cents anyway.

[freestyleswimmer 100]

 

'people who live in glass houses should not throw stones'

 

 

They should only provide seats for the audience................

(Just kidding :roll: )

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Secret_admirer, you say you have a problem with GBs because the woman is, in your opinion, being dominated. I'd like to know what your thoughts on BDSM are, since that is also a sexual activity that involves domination.

While the two may have the surface appearance of the woman being dominated (against her better judgement, some would say), there is actually a lot of power on the submissive's end - ultimately, they are the ones who chose who they will submit to, and they are in control through the use of a safe word.

Posted via Mobile Device

[etasman2000 15994]

Secret_admirer, you say you have a problem with GBs because the woman is, in your opinion, being dominated. I'd like to know what your thoughts on BDSM are, since that is also a sexual activity that involves domination.

While the two may have the surface appearance of the woman being dominated (against her better judgement, some would say), there is actually a lot of power on the submissive's end - ultimately, they are the ones who chose who they will submit to, and they are in control through the use of a safe word.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

I agree with your statements except the segment that BDSM is also a sexual activity. It can be although not necessary.

[buggernot 588]

Let's say as an example, what if a young lady takes part in a say GB activity, while under the influence (of say some medication she takes to overcome her nervousness on the new job) not feeling or knowing what she is doing at the time and regrets it later such that when the effects of medication goes away she is hurt (at least badly emotionally and may be physically too). I wonder how many people would still support this.

 

What makes the GB aspect any different than a one on one encounter, or a even a girl getting up on stage to dance? Some people can handle escorting, some cannot. Same goes for group sex.

 

The crux of this thread is the closed-mindedness of those who preach that their way is the moral absolute. If you want to go down the slippery slope and apply logic as to the dangers of a GB, you have to take into consideration that it will apply to anything else loosely related.

 

The situation that you describe would be a truly unfortunate outcome, but that would be one experience only. I've heard stories of people who were alcoholics or lost everything to gambling, so would that mean I shouldn't drink or go to the casino?

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Etas: no, BDSM is not necessarily a sexual activity, but it can be, and this is why I made the comparison. Just as escorting can be only about companionship, and not sex. I do know the ins and outs of BDSM..

 

S_A, I would suggest you read up on BDSM as it's a topic that is much too detailed and varied for me to explain in a single post (especially via mobile!).

I do, however, take offense to the assumption that, should I choose to partake in a group activity (which has yet to happen), that I am simply doing so because I am being coerced, or because I'm hard up for cash. I do what I do because I enjoy it, and I have the ability to make the call on whether or not I will see a particular client. Just as you assume that a woman is being used because she enjoys multiple partners, you're on the same judgemental soapbox as the person who thinks an SP must have been abused to want to sell her body.

 

Take money out of the equation, and assume that the woman is participating in a multiple-partner session because she WANTS to, and because it TURNS HER ON. They are all consenting adults, enjoying their sexuality - why is that so wrong?

 

Edit: Jesus EFF, people. I thought we were all adults here - don't make assumptions based on my participation in this thread. If you'd like to ask me a question, send me a PM. I don't need to hear gossip on my sexual activities, thanks.

[etasman2000 15994]

Again, this is just a discussion on the subject of GB. BTW, what is BDSM (bedroom something?).

 

BD = bondage and discipline

SM = sadism and masochism

 

In a bedroom where only two consenting adults are present (hopefully one lady and one gent), then a sexual act is on equal basis in my view.

 

2 ? why not 3 ? or 4 ? or maybe 7 ?

 

Various positions (the lady on top, the gent on top, giving or receiving oral, mutual kissing) no one is dominating anyone.

 

Technically every position has a dominant or lead.....

 

The question is who is to be master thats all.....

[etasman2000 15994]

I do know the ins and outs of BDSM..

 

fully aware you do.....

 

Take money out of the equation, and assume that the woman is participating in a multiple-partner session because she WANTS to, and because it TURNS HER ON. They are all consenting adults, enjoying their sexuality - why is that so wrong?

 

fully agree

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Perhaps we should refrain from using the term "gang bang," since it is negatively associated:

In a situation when one lady is being pleasured by six men in varying ways..

 

Group sex is a better term.

[YoungStud 468]

After a point, the way this thread seems to be working out is rather unfortunate.

 

Different people are at different levels of sexual experience and sophistication. And of repression and regulation.

 

Pretty difficult to find any common ground there sometimes folks.

 

Some just want to watch and imagine. Some want to do it all.

 

Who's to say, existentially, who is right? Though I do have my own personal view of who is having a better time. Lol.

[buggernot 588]

In a bedroom where only two consenting adults are present (hopefully one lady and one gent), then a sexual act is on equal basis in my view. Various positions (the lady on top, the gent on top, giving or receiving oral, mutual kissing) no one is dominating anyone.

 

Again, it's semantics. A 250 lb man on top of a 100 lb woman can be pretty dominating, even if he's being a gentleman. Depends on how the woman perceives the event at the time.

 

And in regards to multiple partners at the same time, there's women who take pleasure in being dominated, used as a fuck toy, and/or being penetrated in both holes at once. As long as there are respected lines drawn before, it can be an exciting experience. It's about control and safety, and that can be accomplished with almost any activity.

[Ragnaglar 440]

language and intent people

 

if a woman feels empowered by servicing more than one man and being serviced by more than one man, why is she some kind of victim. Cause she does not have a penis!

 

so why is a MFF duo fine, cause it embodies the MALE fantasy of being served by 2 women.

 

but somehow the reverse is not, as she is now a victim......

 

what is this the 1900's

 

a woman has the right to make up her own mind, she can explore her own sexuality, and is beholden to no one except herself. she can like it, love it or not on her own terms, just as we can as clients to choose our own path.

 

as for language such as GB it is telling of a person who uses it

 

most in this group prefer group sex or poly party as it shows a more cooperative group activity, as opposed to how some people use the words gang bang, to denote something negative.

 

it is telling of some people on the board how they truly feel (at that moment as feelings change) about this activity.

 

I guess the final word should be don't judge me cause I am curious and trying to be open with others, it is not a bad thing, it is just human.

[Annessa 22743]

wow wow wow

 

even tho you say that is your last comment SA (as you do many times) I predict further commentary after this post. Once again you are dismissing the opinions of those who are actually partaking in said acts instead of perhaps realizing that you could learn from those experiences as opposed to your own secont hand knowledge....its ok, just a bit of a pattern....remember, its called open discussion for a reason?:

 

lets first off dismiss the fables of what group sex entails....

 

Q. domination? or being told what to do or ordered what to do by all participating males???

 

A. absolutely not! every female participant lays out her restrictions, services and ground rules prior...those who aren't looking for those services go elsewhere. And every male participating waits for the lady to take the lead in the actions....no one orders anyone around like a football coach or they'd not be invited to the next event

 

Q. Group sex entails greek?

 

A. Not if the girl doesn't offer it normally, there are many ways to please men, not simply by penetration in "various holes"

 

Q. The lady must have fantasies of this or only be turned on by these acts to engage in them and not be a classy lady (someone mentioned the word "slut" before?) if so...

A. some ladies engage because they are simply curious about a controlled event like this....maybe in the end they decide its not for them. But my dad said once "try everything once...maybe twice if you think you like it and it doesnt kill you, but it shouldnt define you if you were simply inriqued"

 

...--

 

now...all this stuff about being under the influence. I know what you're referring to and who you're sticking up for and I dont think that the influence of being under psychological meds for other reasons besides what you think to be her helpless vice to dealing with sex-work (if she didnt want to do it, she wouldnt) is making her any less able to make their own decisions....also I dont think she'd like you to put that out there so best to leave that alone.....drugs, alcohol and being taken advantage of are far from what this group is about. No one is forced to do anytyhing under the influence in that group.

 

All that being said, I am proud saying that I've been to a couple events now, have been fully in control, Have been overly respected in terms of my limitations, have had laughs and chats with everyone participating prior and after as like any other call I've been on...I dont travel to the greek islands, love myself at the end of the day with a huge smile on my face. At The end of the day I can also firmly post my schedule and include the word "CLASSY" without haste.

 

I will also add, I do very well for myself as a low-volume SP, this is my only source of income yet I am extremely well off even if I dont accept group sex events....and I have a child to provide for too, SA, but it doesnt mean that any client should pity or judge me more than my degree-carrying, self-sufficient self should deserve.

 

To assume that we only do what we do for the money is putting us all in the "victim" category....something that many members here know that I dont stand for. "Shes a student, shes a young mother, ...those men must be taking advantage of her and her financial troubles!".........common now have a little more respect for the ladies. When someone tried to tell me that I dont know what I'm getting into or that I'm being brainwashed into something, it makes me loose total respect for them. In the end, your lady of choice will thank you for respecting her decisions and respecting that she is a big girl, capable of making her own choices in life

 

Those who want to turn my smile or other's into a frown or shame can take a hike :)

[d*mm*y 887]

What makes the GB aspect any different than a one on one encounter, or a even a girl getting up on stage to dance? Some people can handle escorting, some cannot. Same goes for group sex.

 

The crux of this thread is the closed-mindedness of those who preach that their way is the moral absolute. If you want to go down the slippery slope and apply logic as to the dangers of a GB, you have to take into consideration that it will apply to anything else loosely related.

 

The situation that you describe would be a truly unfortunate outcome, but that would be one experience only. I've heard stories of people who were alcoholics or lost everything to gambling, so would that mean I shouldn't drink or go to the casino?

 

It is easy to make this same argument about anything, the most repressive place I have ever been is a strip club, the amount of drugs in the change room is shocking and the amount of ladies strutting around the floor looking for rent is scary. Plus there is often 10 guys for every lady in the strip clubs, many of the guys are buying the ladies drinks hoping to get some drunk shenanigans. Are there exceptions? Are there dancers that don't do drugs and have there crap together and enjoy what they do, of course but if you are in the club you are accepting the ones that are on drugs/drunk and trying to make rent too, and saying that the other guys putting down the ladies are acceptable to you. At least with an escort situation if the lady is not in control because of drugs or alcohol, or seems distressed you can cancel the call (and she can as well).

 

The whole notion of equal numbers? lets look at a baseball game or cricket game? Is the batter being picked on, are they being dominated? I do know some guys that like to Poly with an equal number of guys to girls more like an orgy style, but that is because they don't like waiting and watching.

 

Poly. Plural. Gang Bang. Rounders. Multi. It doesn't matter how it labeled. It has been around since the beginning of time. I have been reading the threads concerning this and quite honestly none of this makes any sense to me. Not because of the actions or the reactions, the participants or the detractors. It's the judgment. The detractors voiced an opinion of disapproval, they passed a judgment. The participants reacted with disapproval of the disapproving opinion and passed a judgment. Who is right? Seems to me like everyone's doing the same thing. The question is would you rather be right or happy? Judgment in itself is a divider, it keeps us separate and consistently isolates. It serves no purpose except to reinforce the belief that "I'm better than". Last time I checked we all put our pants on one leg at a time and stick our fingers in places we don't admit to. I have a saying that I use "Your opinion of me is none of my business" and it serves me well.

 

There will always be misunderstandings, thats why we are here to communicate. No 2 people will every have the same "line in the sand". Those lines move with time. For some it's forward and for some its backwards. Back in the day, bachelor parties had group scenes of sorts. Been there. Would I go back? I don't know. It doesn't seem to hold any draw for me at this place in my life. Was it fun? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We all have the choice to participate, opinionate, and ignore. Perhaps if all involved stopped and looked within to see what the moment requires of them, this situation would rectify itself and take it's place where it belongs.

 

Catherine

 

As cat has so succinctly put it, rather than worrying about what others are doing, let's try to be happy. If poly things are not your bag, ignore them, it will make you happier. If you like a lady and have a GFE experience with her stop worrying about what she does when you are not there, these ladies have open minds and do different things with different clients. Your time with them is your fantasy and they will be professional and make it everything you want (usually).

 

Lets not forget to visit the definition of a poly party!!;

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=poly+party

 

:D and most important lets keep having good times! There is an aspect to this hobby that is very selfish (it is great when both sides are selfish :) ), having the discipline to share adds a new dimension !!

[d*mm*y 887]

wow wow wow

 

At The end of the day I can also firmly post my schedule and include the word "CLASSY" without haste.

 

 

 

Those who want to turn my smile or other's into a frown or shame can take a hike :)

 

You are as classy as they come!! I love spending time with you alone, in groups, and in social settings, you are the perfect accompaniment to any occasion. I can't imagine life without you.

 

Keep smiling you are part of a new age for sex workers, proud, strong and liberated. If I could pick one person for my daughters to take as a roll model it would be you.

 

Your talents go so far beyond your sexuality you are truly one in a million.

[jerican 657]

Hear, hear Dummpy, I think we need to look back at what dummpy was trying to say when he started the thread. No one cares if I like group sex or you like group sex or if Stephen Harper likes group sex (ok, maybe people care about that). The point of this thread was asking why is it that a women as respected and with as good a head on her shoulders as Annessa (or any other woman on this site) says she is going to an event that she deserves to be harassed or degraded.

 

As many others have said (including myself) enjoy what you enjoy and as long as the event is consensual then let others do what they want to do. CERB is here for adults to look for experiences with other adults, people who try to be white knights by 'protecting' others from what they voluntarily announce they want to try are just deluding themselves.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Just one final comment on a real case (off the subject of GB but related somehow). Not long ago, a visiting lady with beautiful bum offered a trip to Greece. I have heard about this so the devil inside me became very curious. She told me that she would charge extra for this. I said why extra and she said because it will be painful. She explained that it is like a virgin girl having sex first time with pain and possible bleeding. I asked myself, do I want to hurt another human for my sexual pleasure and the answer was a clear NO. Needless to say I did give her the tip that she was asking as she had a child to support. Hurting another human for self sexual pleasure is not humain (just my view, so don"t attack me on this).

 

Now if the lady takes pleasure in doing those acts and it is her choice while sober, by all means do it and give her the pleasure but if it is so pleasurable why most or may be all who provide this service charge extra, not to mention that overwhelming majority of lady providers would never offer this service?? (is it because it is painful, humiliating in their view of those majority that never offer or at least something that does not give them pleasure as much as some of you may think and if my understanding is correct, GB also involves Greek plus many other acts) ....

 

I engage in, and pay for, Greek -- both as a giver and as a receiver (strap-on play). Done correctly, Greek is not painful nor does it cause physical damage.

 

As with any service, the price charged is what the market will bear. Period. As for "itemized" justification beyond that for charging extra for it: to be done correctly, Greek requires extra preparation time and effort. And of course, the usual rule applies -- time is money.

 

As with anything, it is most definitely true that those not comfortable with it (whether giver or receiver) would be better to leave it alone. As for those of us comfortable with it, we just enjoy!

[Guest S***e]

Group sex is as old as time itself. It's not for everyone. Personally, it is somewhat beyond my current comfort level; however, I have yet to achieve my fantasy of a threesome with two bi-ladies and hopefully it will come to fruition before my hobbying days are behind me. I've always been of the view that consenting adults can do as they wish in a safe fashion behind closed doors so long as children/minors and/or animals are not involved.

 

We all have our boundries and limitations within our levels of comfort. I will never condemn anyone for exploring their sexuality and persuing their fantasies be they alone or with others. Coercion, exploitation, and victimization of anyone is clearly wrong in every sense of the word and should never be tolerated, however, and nobody here is advocating that type of behavior.

 

I'm not the type of person to judge others anyways. This is an interesting and lively discussion to say the least...best to keep our emotions in check though.