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Do you think negotiating rates is ok?  

141 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you think negotiating rates is ok?

    • Yes, it is fine to negotiate a sp's rate (even if they do not advertise rates being negotiable)
      22
    • No, it is unacceptable to negotiate a sp's rate (unless she advertises as negotiable)
      105
    • Still on the fence.
      14


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So, I have a question for those who believe it's OK to negotiate SPs' rates, or believe that at least there's no harm trying.

 

Let's think for a moment about what the result of your attempt to negotiate could be.

 

  • You may get instantly blacklisted by the SP, either privately or more widely (they do talk, you know).
  • You may get ignored by the SP.
  • You may get told, "No," and see her at her posted rate, having given her reason to resent you. You probably aren't getting all those YMMV things.
  • You may successfully negotiate a discount, see the SP, and get reduced service (perhaps CBJ instead of BBBJ, or she'll watch the clock like a hawk).
  • You may successfully negotiate a discount and tick all the boxes on the menu, but do so with a SP who resents being short-changed and who probably won't give you a top-notch experience as a result. And again, don't even think about the YMMV stuff.

Note that I simply don't believe you'll ever get exactly the same service for a lower rate as you would have done if you hadn't negotiated; the omission of that option was not accidental.

 

My question is: even if you could guarantee the final result, which is probably the best you can possibly expect, is it worth it in return for the few dollars you've saved? If so, why?

 

And even if you answered "yes" to that: given the significant chances of one of the less desirable results... do you still consider it worth asking her to give you a discount? And again, if so, why?

 

I'm afraid I simply don't see how asking for discounts from SPs could possibly work out to my advantage in the long run, so I'd be grateful if someone could explain how it works.

Edited by Phaedrus
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Guest webothscore
So, I have a question for those who believe it's OK to negotiate SPs' rates, or believe that at least there's no harm trying.

 

Let's think for a moment about what the result of your attempt to negotiate could be.

 

  • You may get instantly blacklisted by the SP, either privately or more widely (they do talk, you know).
  • You may get ignored by the SP.
  • You may get told, "No," and see her at her posted rate, having given her reason to resent you. You probably aren't getting all those YMMV things.
  • You may successfully negotiate a discount, see the SP, and get reduced service (perhaps CBJ instead of BBBJ, or she'll watch the clock like a hawk).
  • You may successfully negotiate a discount and tick all the boxes on the menu, but do so with a SP who resents being short-changed and who probably won't give you a top-notch experience as a result. And again, don't even think about the YMMV stuff.

Note that I simply don't believe you'll ever get exactly the same service for a lower rate as you would have done if you hadn't negotiated; the omission of that option was not accidental.

 

My question is: even if you could guarantee the final result, which is probably the best you can possibly expect, is it worth it in return for the few dollars you've saved? If so, why?

 

And even if you answered "yes" to that: given the significant chances of one of the less desirable results... do you still consider it worth asking her to give you a discount? And again, if so, why?

 

I'm afraid I simply don't see how asking for discounts from SPs could possibly work out to my advantage in the long run, so I'd be grateful if someone could explain how it works.

 

This post is exceptionally smart, as it puts some to the test of listing advantages. I bet other than $$, the list will be short.

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Quite frankly, if you have to haggle over 20 dollars, maybe you should consider that you can't afford to see escorts.

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Guest fi****ek

So often a fellow would arrive who'd said he wanted X, Y and Z and who would, in the midst of things, announce that he'd really like to add A and B to the deal. He'd already paid me for the original plan. In the middle of things wasn't the time to ask him to get up, find his wallet in the pile of clothes on the floor and pay for the extras. But I soon discovered that agreeing to go ahead, believing I would be paid at the end, was remarkably likely to result in performing the services and not being paid or not being paid in full. He'd discover, to his feigned shock and horror, that he didn't have the money, or even frankly declare that what I'd done wasn't worth the extra, anyway. I felt assaulted; since both my consent and my body were violated, I'd say I was raped a few times. And yet I was told that I was uptight, rigid or unresponsive when I decided not to allow any extensions,

 

I started to feel like a vending machine and I hated that feeling. When I was asked to reduce my already low rates even further, I saw that those making the request were completely out for their own satisfaction and that there was a high probability that they were not going to treat me well, no matter what they paid.

 

I remember very well the turmoil I went through. After all, like most women who are new to this profession, I was dealing with some major problems in my life and becoming a prostitute was my only way to solve them. I didn't need more men trying to take more from me while telling me that I wasn't really good enough or worth their time and money or that I was just a whore and had no right to expect much from them. I had been depressed to begin with; my depression deepened and I began to be afraid that I was going to fail at everything which included losing my children.

 

 

That was quite painful to read and confirms for me some of my worst fears about certain men. Women who are abused, threatened, whether the threat is direct or implicit, or degraded is a hot button issue for me because of my background. I am truly sorry you had to experience that and I know it may not mean much, but, on behalf of my gender, I apologize. Men act that way when other men stand back silently and say nothing. In that respect, I am often as guilty as the offenders.

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Guest D***el B***e

I removed my post. It ended up being in bad taste.

Edited by D***el B***e
not what I intended to say.

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Guest webothscore

Tell you what, you wouldn't have to offer me very much to come and ride on your atv all day, but I will not ride you ;) no but seriously the hourly may not have been huge but I am sure the daily rate to spend a day with a nice guy wasn't a big decision. She was probably thrilled. Given that she did not have a daily rate, I would hardly say you even negotiated. Now, trying to offer lower than posted, that is another story, something I don't think is cool, in my opinion.

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Tell you what, you wouldn't have to offer me very much to come and ride on your atv all day, but I will not ride you ;) no but seriously the hourly may not have been huge but I am sure the daily rate to spend a day with a nice guy wasn't a big decision. She was probably thrilled. Given that she did not have a daily rate, I would hardly say you even negotiated. Now, trying to offer lower than posted, that is another story, something I don't think is cool, in my opinion.

 

I know in one case I had a sleepover, an overnight. The lady who I knew very well didn't have a sleepover rate, so I asked her how much her donation would be. I didn't propose a rate or try to negotiate one, and when she gave me her rate I said thank you and booked a sleepover with her. I asked another lady what her weekend rate would be (she doesn't have a posted weekend rate) She got back to me with a price range of xxx dollars to yyy dollars (x being lower range and y being higher range) and said I could pay what is fair. Me being me I agreed that I will pay the higher rate. But the price range she set, I didn't try to haggle at all with her, I just have too much respect for her and all ladies to negotiate their rates down, especially when their companionship already has a intangible value far exceeding the donation they request. I'm just looking forward to finding that free weekend now to have the weekend escape after this lifestyle being put on hold due to family issues.

And on a side note, to all those advocates of negotiation. Would you as a client be as strong a proponent of negotiation if the ladies also negotiated too? For example a lady charging a certain rate for one hour, but when you contact her, she tries to negotiate by charging her hourly rate but only wants to see you for 45 minutes, or she has her rate but if you aren't an attractive man then she will negotiate a higher rate or so on and so forth.

Negotiation is a two way street, and for those guys who think it's fair to negotiate a lady's rate down, it's then just as fair by the same token for the lady to negotiate her rate up to those negotiators

RG

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...

she has her rate but if you aren't an attractive man then she will negotiate a higher rate or so on and so forth.

...

 

Heh...I could see some great conversations here.

 

"Okay...you're pretty fat so that's gonna cost an extra $20. Balls not shaved? Another $20. And what's up with that mole? That kinda grosses me out so I'm gonna need another $20 for that too."

 

All kidding aside, I think that's pretty much the same thing as negotiating a price with a lady. You're telling her that you don't think she's worth what she's asking and there's no way to not take that personally because what she's offering is herself. Pure and simple.

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You're telling her that you don't think she's worth what she's asking and there's no way to not take that personally because what she's offering is herself. Pure and simple.

 

You hit the nail on the head bang on Eric. Other business comparisons really aren't valid, because they may be offering their labour, or so on, but as cliché as it sounds, the lady is offering herself, mind, body and soul.

Name another business or trade that requires that. I can't think of one

Negotiating with a lady, your right, how can she not take that personally

RG

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...

as cliché as it sounds, the lady is offering herself, mind, body and soul.

...

 

I think this is a key differentiator between an $80 BP experience vs. what you might get with some of the higher end courtesans on this site. A 'cheap' experience might mean she just lies there and lets you do stuff to her. The kind of experience most of us enjoy is so much more. Personality, chemistry, laughter, cuddling, interesting conversation. We're paying these ladies for so much more than sex and I think it takes a certain special type of person to be able to connect in a genuine way with so many different clients.

 

Edit:

This is not meant as any sort of judgement or criticism of "$80 BP girls" but rather a generalized statement that one should expect to get what they pay for. You may very well get a great experience for less money but in general, the world doesn't work that way.

Edited by Eric Northman
clarity
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I didn't get a chance to read all 14 pages of posts, but I'm glad I found this thread! I've grown very irritated at potential clients who feel the need to try and wheel and deal the situation. My rate is the way it is because that's how much I feel my time is worth. Always a good time too if I might add :P

Recently, I had a client ask me how much my donation was, gave him the answer and he replied with; "That's alot and only worth it if I can do anal bare back"

..........uhm...........gross...no amount of money is worth losing my health in anyway..basically I told him not to contact me again, which in turn...he then called me a "Whore" not sure where these people come from...but its shocking someone would resort to any sort of name calling especially to the person your asking to have an intimate service with.

Fortunatly I've resorted to just blocking such clients from contacting me because I dont feel like I should be degraded in such a way that they feel like I'm only worth the money if they can stick it in with no protection...again....gross...

That was my lil shpeel :P

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@Al from Quebec: aaaaaaaaaah! did I congratulate you for nothing?(tease) I hope you do not want to imply that negotiating is NEVER okay? The reality is that for out-of-the-ordinary encounters,( like the one you wrote about or like my cases where I have invited ladies from Ottawa to come to Kingston) negotiating is a must. Why ? For the simple reason that ladies are aware that conditions for such encounters will be different and so do not post a schedule of donations for these. In most of the ads I have seen for invitation-to-travel encounters, ladies indicate that they may be contacted for information, saying nothing about donations. Regards.

Edited by lipualipua
inadvertent letter substitution
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Negotiation is a two way street, and for those guys who think it's fair to negotiate a lady's rate down, it's then just as fair by the same token for the lady to negotiate her rate up to those negotiators

RG

 

Unfortunately it isn't truly a two way street. If the SP negotiated rates upwards the client could choose to avoid the transaction without financial repercussions, while the SP would be out one client.

 

I suspect but can't prove that it is this unequal relationship which prompt certain clients to negotiate.

 

Personally, visiting a SP is a treat. As a treat I ensure I set aside enough funds to engage in it in an enjoyable manner for both parties. Should this become a 'need' then it will become important enough to allocate sufficient funds for it. Either way there is no need to negotiate.

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There is some information in this thread and a lot of rhetoric.

 

I am in a competitive business where every person handles things differently and some people who are results oriented will pay a higher fee for what they believe are superior results. However other people are shopping for the cheapest rate, i want to maximize profits so it's important to be able negotiate with all types of buyers, if my competitors are under cutting me i can't tell someone "Oh go to your boss and take a pay cut" because the going rate is a moving target. I would like to know how low my competitors are offering and be given the chance to compete, obviously if it does not make financial sense I walk away, but as a provider I want the last word I don't want my potential customers passing me by or walking away because they believe I am too expensive. Hamburgers at McDonald's are a commodity and a fixed price, I think an intimate encounter should be more thought out. Also i don't understand extra's, either you do something or you don't why should it change your hourly rate? YMMV makes sense to me, its a comfort level based on the circumstances. And why do people want to negotiate unsafe GFE??? BB anything is just wrong.

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I'm with emily on this....i have only read two pages into this and still have yet to believe this thread has lasted as long as it has.

 

if it was said already...I apologize but would you go into a high end restaurant wanting a steak and saying you could eat cheaper at mcdonalds and have in the past? well great! go get your macdonalds but you will get what you pay for. but dont tell the 5-star restaurant that they should consider lowering their prices because youve eaten for less elsewhere.

 

also put yourself in the shoes of anyone who gives such an intimate service to you and ask yourself how you would feel if someone tried to get you to perform that service for less...just because you guilt them that this is what other people are doing. SO WHAT?? no reason really is good enough for someone to ask you to lower yourself to any lesser standards.

 

as for the Kingston comment....I have had clients ask me to come see them in kingston or outside Ottawa and many girls will agree when we say that we charge for travel time....not LESS....and I'm pretty sure thats the norm. if you have a better deal than that...awesome.....keep seeing that provider but dont try and educate us on why our prices are "wrong" or let one exception make you the expert on "the rules" guys.

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Unfortunately it isn't truly a two way street. If the SP negotiated rates upwards the client could choose to avoid the transaction without financial repercussions, while the SP would be out one client.

 

I suspect but can't prove that it is this unequal relationship which prompt certain clients to negotiate.

 

Personally, visiting a SP is a treat. As a treat I ensure I set aside enough funds to engage in it in an enjoyable manner for both parties. Should this become a 'need' then it will become important enough to allocate sufficient funds for it. Either way there is no need to negotiate.

 

First my quote in entirety

 

"And on a side note, to all those advocates of negotiation. Would you as a client be as strong a proponent of negotiation if the ladies also negotiated too? For example a lady charging a certain rate for one hour, but when you contact her, she tries to negotiate by charging her hourly rate but only wants to see you for 45 minutes, or she has her rate but if you aren't an attractive man then she will negotiate a higher rate or so on and so forth.

Negotiation is a two way street, and for those guys who think it's fair to negotiate a lady's rate down, it's then just as fair by the same token for the lady to negotiate her rate up to those negotiators"

 

I for one second am not advocating negotiation. I was making a point just that if a man truly advocates negotiation then those same men should be supportive of ladies also negotiating. But I'll bet you they don't support ladies negotiating, because as much as they wrap it up as accepted business practice, in reality they are just cheap trying to nickel and dime a lady when she is offering herself cliché as it sounds, body mind and soul. What seems lost on these negotiators is this lifestyle is a business unlike any other, so comparisons can't be drawn.

To even attempt to devalue a lady, and yes, your not devaluing her business, or her labour, you devalue her by negotiating I personally find very offensive. Especially since a lady who would be receptive to negotiation is likely a lady in financial need and will accept a lower rate because she needs the money. Just a gut feeling but negotiators succeed when a lady is likely at a financially desperate time, it isn't negotiating, it's preying on the weak. It's more a case of men bullying women for sex than an accepted business practice

Seeing ladies, you are right, is a treat, an escape, and I appreciate the companionship they have provided. And that companionship, that escape has a intangible value far exceeding the donation they ask for. And I am happy to pay them the donation they ask for, plus a tip and gift

RG

Edited by r__m__g_uy
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@Emily Rushton: you wrote:" I never altered my rate and it was never a problem, so don't go telling these girls that they should change their donation to reflect the lower economic standing in a city, that is complete bullshit."

 

First, no insults. Second, where did I write about "lower economic standing in a city"? Third, you clearly misunderstood my point - when I specifically ask a lady to drop all she is doing and come see me in Kingston from another city, negotiating is unavoidable.

 

Additional Comments:

It appears that the word "negotiate" elicits feelings of horror in some people. Negotiate need not be a "dirty" word. Let us consult Merriam-Webster for its definition:

 

Definition of NEGOTIATE

intransitive verb

: to confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter

transitive verb

: to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise <negotiate a treaty>

Examples of NEGOTIATE

1. The customer wanted to negotiate over the price.

2. We negotiated a fair price.

 

I have chosen those definitions and examples that are pertinent to our debate. Now, is there an inherent negativity residing in any of the definitions and examples given above?

I must emphasise that I am talking of a situation where a lady in a city different from mine packs a certain anatomical feature that attracts me so powerfully that I can hardly contain myself(lol). I therefore respectfully ask her to drop everything she is doing and come see me in Kingston. Under such a condition, negotiating( in a TRUE sense of the word) is unavoidable.

Edited by lipualipua
one letter too many in a certain word
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@Emily Rushton: you wrote:" I never altered my rate and it was never a problem, so don't go telling these girls that they should change their donation to reflect the lower economic standing in a city, that is complete bullshit."

 

First, no insults. Second, where did I write about "lower economic standing in a city"? Third, you clearly misunderstood my point - when I specifically ask a lady to drop all she is doing and come see me in Kingston from another city, negotiating is unavoidable.

 

Additional Comments:

It appears that the word "negotiate" elicits feelings of horror in some people. Negotiate need not be a "dirty" word. Let us consult Merriam-Webster for its definition:

 

Definition of NEGOTIATE

intransitive verb

: to confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter

transitive verb

: to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise <negotiate a treaty>

Examples of NEGOTIATE

1. The customer wanted to negotiate over the price.

2. We negotiated a fair price.

 

I have chosen those definitions and examples that are pertinent to our debate. Now, is there an inherent negativity residing in any of the definitions and examples given above?

I must emphasise that I am talking of a situation where a lady in a city different from mine packs a certain anatomical feature that attracts me so powerfully that I can hardly contain myself(lol). I therefore respectfully ask her to drop everything she is doing and come see me in Kingston. Under such a condition, negotiating( in a TRUE sense of the word) is unavoidable.

 

Well lets discuss the definition

1 The customer wanted to negotiate over the price

The ladies set their rate. What is to negotiate. Their rate is their rate, end of story

2 We negotiated a fair price

Fair in who's eyes. This lifestyle is a luxury, not a necessity, and stating you are negotiating a fair price presumes the ladies' rates are unfair. Whatever the lady charges is a fair price, it isn't for you, me or any other man to question

 

You ask a lady to drop everything to see you. If you ask her what her rate is for the inconvenience of running to Kingston to see you, that is not negotiating, you are asking her what her rate is. Once she tells you her rate, that is it, it is her rate. You don't negotiate over her price, and whatever price she sets is a fair price. Plus don't be surprised if travel costs are added to. I know with some ladies that I see in Toronto if I stay by the airport there are travel fees just from downtown Toronto added to the donation

As a sidebar, assuming the lady is in Ontario, you could always travel to the city she is in to see her, hell all my encounters I travel to see the lady, be it in Toronto, Kingston, London, Hamilton, Ottawa. Not only do I have travel (gas) expenses, but hotel as well so I have a very good idea and appreciation of travel expenses . So if you want her to travel to see you, don't be surprised if her rate is actually higher than posted on her website. And that isn't negotiation, that is finding out what her rate is

RG

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So I have read through all the pages of this thread, and would like to suggest that perhaps there is some misunderstandings of intent or arguments of semantics happening.

 

I'd like to propose the following statements, worded as straightforwardly as possible:

 

1) It is a lady's right to charge whatever she wishes.

2) It is a lady's right to offer/advertise her own specials or discounts.

3) If a certain service doesn't have an advertised rate, no one will mind if someone inquires what the donation amount would be.

4) If a rate is listed or provided, it is in everyone's interest and good etiquette to accept that as the rate.

5) If you don't accept a lady's stated donation amount or make repeated attempts to argue it, you're likely to get an inferior experience at the very least and quite possibly blacklisted.

6) If you insult a lady because she isn't willing to lower her rates at your request, then you should be hung upside down and repeatedly whacked with a herring.

 

There has been some interesting discussion on this thread and certainly there have been points requiring clarification or that people have disagreed upon. But I think at least some of it has been with people arguing at cross purposes when on the main issues I suspect everyone in fact agrees. If I'm wrong and someone does disagree with any of the statements above, please speak up and we can better see where we actually disagree.

 

Cheers all, I'm out!

 

sheldon-throwing-papers-gif.gif

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Well lets discuss the definition

1 The customer wanted to negotiate over the price

The ladies set their rate. What is to negotiate. Their rate is their rate, end of story

2 We negotiated a fair price

Fair in who's eyes. This lifestyle is a luxury, not a necessity, and stating you are negotiating a fair price presumes the ladies' rates are unfair. Whatever the lady charges is a fair price, it isn't for you, me or any other man to question

 

You ask a lady to drop everything to see you. If you ask her what her rate is for the inconvenience of running to Kingston to see you, that is not negotiating, you are asking her what her rate is. Once she tells you her rate, that is it, it is her rate. You don't negotiate over her price, and whatever price she sets is a fair price. Plus don't be surprised if travel costs are added to. I know with some ladies that I see in Toronto if I stay by the airport there are travel fees just from downtown Toronto added to the donation

As a sidebar, assuming the lady is in Ontario, you could always travel to the city she is in to see her, hell all my encounters I travel to see the lady, be it in Toronto, Kingston, London, Hamilton, Ottawa. Not only do I have travel (gas) expenses, but hotel as well so I have a very good idea and appreciation of travel expenses . So if you want her to travel to see you, don't be surprised if her rate is actually higher than posted on her website. And that isn't negotiation, that is finding out what her rate is

RG

 

When you say negotiating is wrong or not acceptable is this opinion or facf?

A lot of ladies welcome negotiating. Some go as far as to to advertise it. Why deny them their rights and freedoms to run their business as they see fit? If you don't deny their rights on this then why think its wrong when a guy thinks negotiating is ok when it runs like wild fire in this industry.

 

There is no one size fits all on this subject. Different strokes for different folks. No one can come in here and unilaterally set the guidelines for this multi million dollar industry.

For those ladies who do advertise that rates are non-negotiable this should always be respected.

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When you say negotiating is wrong or not acceptable is this opinion or facf?

A lot of ladies welcome negotiating. Some go as far as to to advertise it. Why deny them their rights and freedoms to run their business as they see fit? If you don't deny their rights on this then why think its wrong when a guy thinks negotiating is ok when it runs like wild fire in this industry.

 

There is no one size fits all on this subject. Different strokes for different folks. No one can come in here and unilaterally set the guidelines for this multi million dollar industry.

For those ladies who do advertise that rates are non-negotiable this should always be respected.

 

Funny thing is, the ladies who have posted and seem strongly against negotiation. I'd actually love to hear from some ladies who actually support negotiation.

And I may be wrong but other ladies would respect that because as is phrased one ladies business model may not work for another lady

But for you saying ladies welcome negotiation, well I take that with a lot of skepticism. If some ladies post and say they welcome it, that's another story.

RG

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Guest Ot**w***og****n

Negotiating with a lady is something I have never done in my more than 40 years in this lifestyle. Donations are what they are and I can take them or leave them. Besides, I am fairly comfortable financially even though I am retired. It's my money and I can spend it as I wish or not as I am an unattached widower. It is a lady's prerogative to establish her rates and as such I respect that.

Edited by Ot**w***og****n
correction

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@Roamingguy : you have missed my point entirely. Ladies do not normally have a set rate for encounters of the type I am talking about. They themselves ask that they be contacted for information. No lady will give you a "naked" figure outright. She will justify why she is demanding a certain donation. The instant she does this, the two of you are engaged in a negotiation - and you can (a) accept or (b) refuse, thank her for responding to your request and bid each other bye bye. Presumably, you told her the reason you are refusing go through with the encounter is that you find the donation too high. Now,this is where ladies will respond differently based on their own business models. Some will ignore you and "kick your ass to the curb" ( good for them).Others will ask how much you wish to give, opening a way to negotiating. Nothing wrong with this for her donation may have been objectively too high ( greed exists in all professions,) or she may seek optimization of financial returns. What is an optimum donation for Lady A may not be for Lady B. Bear in mind the key word - optimum. Optimum simply means the" most favorable conditions or level for GROWTH, or SUCCESS" and so I am not talking of ladies being taken advantage of.

In business, it is all about optimization of financial returns and this often entails PRUDENT negotiations with various entities where appropriate. Escorting is no different.

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