Fresh start 17467 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I was wondering I've seen lots of guys change when around significant others or just even around a beautiful lady. Their voices become softer and sweeter, even speech pattern changes. Not to mention the amount of bs that comes out. It's one thing to be a gentleman but to change who you are or act like a different person, I don't comprehend the point or purpose. So do you do this? Why? Do you not feel guilty that you are lying to her and yourself? Ladies' what your opinion on this. Do ladies' do this to sometime? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I was wondering I've seen lots of guys change when around significant others or just even around a beautiful lady. Their voices become softer and sweeter, even speech pattern changes. Not to mention the amount of bs that comes out. It's one thing to be a gentleman but to change who you are or act like a different person, I don't comprehend the point or purpose. So do you do this? Why? Do you not feel guilty that you are lying to her and yourself? Ladies' what your opinion on this. Do ladies' do this to sometime? I could never act those types of emotions. Never do I feed a pile of bs to a woman, if I say something sweet, gentle and kind then it is being said because that's how I feel. There is one woman I know who I tell the same thing to every time I see her. It would sound like a line to others, but it comes from my heart and definitely not an act. This isn't to say that I'm not in to hour after hour of sport sex, randoms and being dirty as hell, but if someone means something to me then I want to show them my romantic side! Don't lump us all in to the same category, there are some gentlemen left on this planet. Not many, but we are out there!!! 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikeyboy 27133 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I think I understand the question as my personality sometimes changes depending on who I am with and the situation that I am in. I don't believe that this is "acting" however, as humans are complex. We are many different people throughout our lives, depending on the situation. Work me is far different from home me. When I'm out drinking with the boys, I'm a different person than I am around my SO (and most women for that matter). The language gets courser and often the conversation does too. My SO often points out that she doesn't care for the person I am around certain friends, particularly ones that I grew up with. (Ironic since I am reverting more to the person I was when I met her many years ago). Cerb me is yet another "personality", that has aspects of all of the other me's thrown in. I think that it is unfair to classify this as acting. It is just the nature of being human. Our personalities evolve and change with time, situation, and with the other personalities we interact with. I don't think that there is anything inherently dishonest in this. It is just who we are. Just a few thoughts from my CERB personality. ;) 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 As Mikeyboy said, we all have different facets to our personalities and what we show one person we may not show another. This is not deceitful or acting it's merely being an aspect of yourself depending on what you feel is acceptable. Unfortunately people judge and assume so until one determines who is who, we in essence protect ourselves. There are those people who know just about as much about us as anyone can and we certainly act differently around them than someone we've just met. Just as we act differently around friends and family. When it comes to interactions with the opposite sex (or same sex) I believe we generally all try to put our best aspect forward because you never know who will become important. Yes, there are many game players out there but I think it's quite easy to tell a game player from someone who is speaking honestly and from the heart. Mind you, there are also those who are exceptionally skilled at the game and you don't realize it's a game until you're already in deep. These are the ones you have to watch out for, these are the true actors and the ones who are firmly rooted in themselves. To sum up, this is a "person' thing not a gender thing and everyone does it to some degree. It's not a lying game, it's a living life aspect. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McGuinessDraft 2240 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I'm proud to say that's something I've never done. I may tend to censor myself a bit more around someone I've first just met, but once I get a feeling of their personality the curtains will come back. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest webothscore Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I like to keep it real and raw, this way you don't attract bs. Unfortunately, people try and gain popularity by acting different or even cutting people down. Those are the insecure ones. Even on here, I have noticed somebody will ask a good question, he/she will receive good polite answers, and then somebody comes in with "like um like um who is dis girl?" Okay I just skated a little off topic, but you get my point. Stay true to yourself, and you will get quality, and use humour, everyone loves a laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf Knight 29667 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 Personally, I'm an typical introvert and like it that way. By nature introverts can easily come off in social situations as cold, distant or even rude. In the corporate world as you climb the ladder life for an introvert can be difficult. Be exactly who you naturally are and you'll find yourself stifled in your progression to the top. Through my career progression I found that to be successful I had to easily interact with many different people successfully even to the point of schmoozing with them. I'm bright so I learned to adapt and evolve my personality depending on the environment I found myself in. Truthfully it's to the point that now I'm like a chameleon quickly reading my environment and determining what me needs to show up. At first I was acting, it was something that I had to constantly think about however, over time I came to do it subconsciously. Now it just happens without thinking. Am I acting now? No, because "acting" requires deliberate transformation into someone else. I don't try to do it, it just happens however I can be a different person in different situations. In this world I'm likely different with every SP that see's me. I enter the room, read from her what type of client makes her the most comfortable then evolve into that , again with no real thinking involved. I'm not sure if that qualifies as lying or being deceitful but I just thought I'd pass along my perspective. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 In this lifestyle I present one face. My real side, so ladies when they meet me meet the real me. In my work life (not a cop, but in law enforcement field) I have another face, what I'll call my game face. It's one I have to have in order to succeed and survive where I work, or I'd be taken advantage of. But in life you have to show different sides of yourself to different people at different times. It's not acting, it's life RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh start 17467 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 I think I should explain a bit better. Its one thing to be a gentleman or romantic but I've see those that change there like and interest completely when their SO is around. me personally I don't care if you've got different opinions or ideas than me, be yourself, be comfortable for who you are. I've got 4 brother in-laws and I've known them for 15 years some for longer since we were friends before. An example I'm giving is when they meet a woman, their interest and normal behavior change completely. I understand that people change a little but what I don't comprehend is it is only around them that this happens. which make me wonder do these woman even know who they are dating. I often feel bad for these woman because its almost as if they never get to meet the person I've known for so long. I have one brother in law who loves to tell joke and be a goofball and make people laugh but when we is around his wife he is totally different as if he is afraid to show her, his true self. So I was wondering if this is common practice amongst other men? even if woman do this with there SO? Me personally I'm not going to change who I am for a woman or anybody else. Pretend to have the same interest, likes or unlikes doesn't mean we cant discuss them or do certain things. lets pretend my SO wanted to go to the ballet because she enjoys it. I would certainly go with her not to pretend to enjoy ballet or pretend I have an interest in it as her. I would go because I love her and to accompany her. ladies what would you prefer him lying about liking it, or him going because he want to go to be with you? I suppose either way he doing it for you, the question I suppose would be, do you want him to be honest about it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 Honesty is always the best way to go and I couldn't imagine being in an SO situation and NOT being honest. It would exert so much energy and needless stress which could be better spent being happy! Wouldn't they be together originally because of their enjoyment of each others' personalities or was it always a case of him putting on a face and now he's stuck with it? In the case of the ballet, I would prefer my SO to go because he to enjoys it. yes, there are things that one MUST or are asked to do but to me, this is not one of them. I would prefer to find a common enjoyment and share that and then enjoy our personal enjoyments separately. People should be liked for themselves but that's rather difficult when someone isn't showing their true self. Honestly, in that situation, the only person suffering is the one not being true to themselves. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh start 17467 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 Honesty is always the best way to go and I couldn't imagine being in an SO situation and NOT being honest. It would exert so much energy and needless stress which could be better spent being happy! Wouldn't they be together originally because of their enjoyment of each others' personalities or was it always a case of him putting on a face and now he's stuck with it? /QUOTE] actually all four of my in laws are the same way and been like that the whole time the are with or meet a woman. which I've found strange and was wondering if men or even woman did this often? or if woman even realize that is being done? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted July 19, 2013 Honesty is always the best way to go and I couldn't imagine being in an SO situation and NOT being honest. It would exert so much energy and needless stress which could be better spent being happy! Wouldn't they be together originally because of their enjoyment of each others' personalities or was it always a case of him putting on a face and now he's stuck with it? In the case of the ballet, I would prefer my SO to go because he to enjoys it. yes, there are things that one MUST or are asked to do but to me, this is not one of them. I would prefer to find a common enjoyment and share that and then enjoy our personal enjoyments separately. People should be liked for themselves but that's rather difficult when someone isn't showing their true self. Honestly, in that situation, the only person suffering is the one not being true to themselves. In the case of ballet, or maybe opera or something along those lines. If I was back dating and or in a relationship, well ballet opera etc I would hate. But if the lady I am seeing is important to me, I would be happy to go, not because going to the ballet makes me happy, but if going with my date/gf/cl makes her happy, that would make me happy. Sometimes our enjoyment comes from making others happy. Of course those days are gone for me, I no longer date, and am in this lifestyle instead A quick rambling RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
